


The Majesty of Choice

by Helena_Hathaway



Category: Bandom, Ella Enchanted (2004), Ella Enchanted - All Media Types, Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: ABSOLUTELY GUARANTEED HAPPY ENDING, Alternate Universe - Ella Enchanted, Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Attempt at Humor, Cinderella Elements, Ella Enchanted, Ella Enchanted AU, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Frerard, Happy Ending, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Magic, Magical Accidents, Princes, no specific time period
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-03
Updated: 2017-10-22
Packaged: 2018-04-12 17:54:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 100,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4489134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Helena_Hathaway/pseuds/Helena_Hathaway
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ella Enchanted AU. Frerard. Gerard’s life conforms around a curse that orders his obedience. He soon finds himself thrust into the position of protecting the Prince, a well-meaning man named Frank, who just so happens to be falling in love with Gerard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I’m trying a new thing where I’m playing the part of a narrator, so hopefully this fic will be different but in a good way.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just so you know this fic is going to be based more on the movie than the book.

Once upon a time some wispy old man who thought himself quite clever, decided that the best way to start a story was with the phrase ‘once upon a time.’ Was he right in thinking so? That’s a matter of opinion. What isn’t a matter of opinion is the matter in which events take place that come together to create a story. Stories are often perceived as fiction, but not always is the case as with our story here. Whether you believe it or not, every story is written from truth, somewhere, if maybe very deep inside. 

Such is not the tale in which we trouble ourselves with today, as every word is true, just maybe not to some. All stories come to pass sooner or later if you’re patient enough.

This story takes place in a time that has happened once or someday will.

It begins with the birth of a child. Not just any child though, one in particular, or else this story would be a bit longer.

To a family with no money to waste, Gerard came along, blissfully ignorant of the magical world around him. 

For all intense and purposes, Gerard was ordinary. He bore no significance to his planet at the time of his birth whatsoever. He was a small, healthy baby who had wronged no one, and so deserved no wrongs in return.

Tragic it is how bad things happen to good people. And yet, good things happen to good people too, but that doesn’t make for as much of a story.

Gerard’s misfortune befell him not through malice, but through pure naiveté. In a land of myth, magic, and legend, a well-intentioned spell can become itself a curse.

First on our list of people to know, we begin with a kind mother, a negligent father, and a very amateur, but in over his head fairy, named Ray.

In a bedroom deep in the land of Frell, the newborn Gerard was unaware of the wary hearts around him, two of whom were dreading the arrival of what would become his first defining trait. Now, it should never be said that Brendon meant ill, but he was also very inexperienced in the world in which he lived, and did not think ahead to his actions. He never once gave a second thought on what spells would leave people with misgivings, he acted before thinking, and would never reevaluate. He’s a stubborn fairy, of higher caliber than Ray, but one with a very similarly low level of skill. 

Brendon’s visit was incredibly fretted over, but there was no postponing when he would give his ‘gift’ to the newborn child. Gerard’s mother had no choice in the matter. She and Ray were merely forced to hope that this would not become one of the newest in a string of bad gifts that Brendon had left his mark on. If only they could’ve known just how badly he’d mess up. 

Brendon arrived early in the afternoon, much to the dismay of the residents of the house in which he entered. Gerard was asleep at first, awoken by the sound of a clattering outside which would mark Brendon’s arrival. 

“Oh no,” Ray said, “He’s here.”

“Is there anything we can do?” Gerard’s mother asked.

“Nothing free of consequence,” Ray replies. His father was out, business as usual. Gerard was merely a few days old and already more important things took precedence in his father’s life. This would become something he would grow used to. 

Brendon came in through the window. Literally. He came in through the window, only open a crack, letting the sounds of nature surround the newborn child, who had previously been lying serenely in his crib. He flew into the window, which was not open far enough for a regular person to squeeze through, but Brendon was no ordinary person. He was a fairy. When he entered the room, he crashed into a dresser near the door, and made quite the commotion. By the time Brendon gathered himself and stood up straight in the small room, Gerard’s wailing had overtaken the house.

“Brendon!” Ray said, not fond of his fellow fairy. Though not a bad person, he was not overly gifted in skill or in brains. Ray lacked much in skill, but he would make up for that in heart and wisdom.

“I would ask where the child is, but I _hear_ him now,” Brendon said, as introduction.

“He was asleep, you must have startled him,” Gerard’s mother said, trying to excuse the sound of crying coming from the crib. He was not so far an overly obnoxious boy, but he was a baby, babies cry. Brendon did not seem to understand that though.

“What’s his name?” Brendon asked.

“It’s Gerard,” Ray said.

Brendon nodded, walking over to the crib and looking down. Without asking, he reached down and picked the baby up, looking at him with discontent. If it were anyone else, he’d have been thrown out immediately after entering the room, but Gerard’s mother could not make that decision for fear that a blatant curse would be Gerard’s fate.

Brendon looked down at the child, small face torn up, and tiny body or not, the boy could make a substantial amount of noise. 

“Oh my god, shut up,” Brendon had said. 

“He’s only a baby, you must realize,” Ray replied.

“He’s a loud baby, I can’t even think of what to give him with his noise,” Brendon remarked, looking up and trying to find inspiration while also trying to block out the cries of the baby in his arms. 

“You don’t have to-”

“Silence,” Brendon demanded, “I know just what he needs.”

Brendon made a flourishing move with his free hand, and all eyes in the room snapped to Gerard who’s crying let up for a moment as he blinked, a spell hitting and sinking into him, and then it started up again a moment later.

“What did you do?” Gerard’s mother asked, heart beating fast in her chest.

“Sleep now,” Brendon said to the crying baby, and is if through magic, his eyes fluttered immediately closed. Ray realized a second before Gerard’s mother that there was no illusion of magic at all. There was very present magic.

“What...?” he started, before Brendon threw him a glare.

“I’ve given him the greatest gift imaginable.”

“And what would that be?”

“Obedience,” Brendon said, smiling greatly as he then told Gerard to wake up. Gerard’s eyes opened groggily only seconds after Brendon had uttered his words. It was much more obvious that this was a direct response to Brendon’s words.

“Oh my,” Ray shuttered, thinking already of the danger that this gift could entail. 

“That’s not a good gift at all!” Gerard’s mother cried. “You can’t do that to him, you must take it back!”

“Take it back?”

“Yes!”

“Why would I do such a thing? It’s a remarkable gift! Many parents envy this quite a bit you know, you should feel lucky. He’s a perfect child.”

“He can’t be forced to do as he’s told all the time! What life is that to live if you live at the orders of others?” Ray chipped in.

“I do not take back gifts,” Brendon said. He was, after all, infamous for being a bit pigheaded. 

“You have to! This isn’t a gift he can bear.”

“I refuse to take it back,” Brendon said sharply, and he laid the baby back down in his crib before turning on the two on the other side of the room. “You don’t like my gift? Get rid of it yourselves!”

“We can’t though! Only the fairy who gave the gift can take it back.” 

“Well then it looks like you’re stuck,” Brendon said, pride damaged but no dent made in his stubbornness. 

“What if-”

“I don’t like people questioning my work. If you don’t like it, you’re alternative is for me to transform him to the animal of your choice.”

Eyes widening in fear, his mother quickly shook her head, and apologized for speaking against the gift.

“It’s not that bad,” Ray insisted, “No, really, it’s a great gift.” He choked on his words, his mouth barely willing to say them for his brain vehemently disagreeing with them.

Brendon smiled, an honest genuine looking smile, which made it hard to imagine how he could be so brainless as to his actions. 

What was done was done. Gerard had received his gift, and it was a gift he could not return. It was a gift that would decide his entire life over and over, leaving him little room for complaint.

It was eleven years after he was given his first order that he would discover why it was that he always obeyed. Sitting in his bed on his eleventh birthday exactly, he was told what had happened.

“But why would he think it was a good idea?” Gerard had asked, feeling heartbroken and lost.

It was the first time in his life that anything had made any real clear sense, and yet it made him feel all the more confused. He couldn’t comprehend why this had been done to him when he had not deserved such a curse. He couldn’t understand how this was supposedly a gift at all. How could this fairy have thought he would enjoy this? How could this be something that would make his life better? Why him, and not someone else?

Gerard wished it had been given to some other baby. Some other baby who deserved it. Someone evil and vile who would do well to be told what to do. Gerard didn’t believe himself to be evil, and he didn’t see how this was something he should have to manage. Obedience wasn’t a gift at all, and Gerard wanted to find this Brendon and show him what harm his gift had done. 

“He didn’t know,” Ray said, “He never considered what it meant to you. We do our best, trying to let you live your life of your own volition, but it’s harder to keep that true out there.”

“He has to take it back,” Gerard said shaking his head, “he has to! I can’t be forced into everything I do!”

“We know,” his mother responded, “We know that, but Brendon... he doesn’t understand the world the same way we do.”

“We have to get him to take it back!” Gerard said.

“We tried. We begged him, and begged him over and over, but he refused. He doesn’t let anyone boss him around. He’s got too much pride, he just won’t listen, no matter how hard we tried to get him to take it back, he just wouldn’t.”

“It’s just... that’s not fair. No one else has to do everything they’re told, why do I have to? It’s so unfair!”

“You’re right,” Ray nodded, “it is unfair, but if there’s anyone who can handle this gift and move past it, it’s you.”

Gerard didn’t know then just what Ray meant by “move past it,” and it would be several more years until he would, but we’re getting ahead of ourselves. That’s a matter for another time.

What we move onto now is the next important event that would shape Gerard’s history. First it was a mysterious disappearance, and then it was a death.

Gerard had been blessed with one good thing his entire life and that was in the arrival of a little brother. But like a lot of Gerard’s life, this spoiled soon after he was able to appreciate it. His brother Michael was three years younger, and it was when Gerard was barely over the age of ten that he disappeared.

Gerard simply woke up one morning and he was gone. The story was that he was sent away to a special school abroad, but Gerard never believed it. He didn’t believe that Michael was dead, but he certainly didn’t believe that he was sent off to some school overnight without getting to say goodbye either.

Even his mother and Ray span that story. Gerard expected it from his father, and excuse, or an obvious lie, but from the two people he trusted the most, he didn’t understand. Gerard hadn’t seen Michael since. Ray would leave for a few days every so often after the disappearance and they told him that it was to visit Michael. Gerard asked if he could come along, but he never could. He was never allowed to see him again. 

The death of his mother was not long after Michael disappeared. Gerard really did live the poster life of a miserable person. He was met with so many thousands of obstacles, but tripped over very few, and always got back up stronger than when he fell. Gerard had lived a very tough life, but he was very good at living it by then. He was very strong, and he had yet to allow his gift sully his kindness, or his caring heart.

He was bitter, this cannot be denied, but he still refused to snap at the people around him for the ease of the lives they lived. Gerard had begun calling the gift a curse by then, but he would not allow it to define him, and forced himself to remain strong and to endure.

He would not use that term ‘curse’ lightly, but he was very sure of the truth in the word. Gerard’s obedience was not a gift. It was a curse. There was no better name for it. He could not choose, he could only abide, and he was resentful of much because of this. His resent was not aimed at anyone, because they did not deserve it, and as he grew, he even learned not to resent Brendon whose hands carried the fault of many of the challenges in Gerard’s life, but he was raised by two people as kind as they could be, and this was the real gift that Gerard was given. His family was his gift, not the spell Brendon had cast on him. 

Testing the waters of Gerard’s resilience was when his mother got sick. When he entered his teens, his mother caught a small cough. Thinking little of it, they let the cough be. The cough grew to become more. It soon overtook her, and it became clear that this was no passing illness.

Soon bedridden, Gerard’s mother was living off every last meal, choking her way through the long dank nights alone without her husband there. The only two people she had beside her were ones with no experience in healing whatever it was that she had come down with.

In the place of an absent father, all Gerard had was Ray, and a dying mother. There was no business in denying her death, but Gerard still insisted it would pass. 

“You are not going to die,” he told his mother every night for weeks.

“Gerard,” she would reply with a small smile. Unlike him though, she could not obey every order, there was no prolonging the inevitable. It was only a matter of time.

On a night that was like every other, Gerard told her again, before bed, that she would not die. 

“Gerard,” she said as usual, but this time it was different. There was a different tone in her voice as she took Gerard’s hand and looked intently into his eyes.

“Mom,” Gerard shook his head, telling himself that nothing was wrong. He would not let himself believe that she was finally letting her sickness get to her. She had been so strong thus far to persevere and make it through, but Gerard saw in her eyes a defeat that he wished he could eradicate. He wished he could give all his strength or take his mother’s place, anything not to see her pass. 

As much as Gerard wished for her to live, and wished for her to get well, he could not make these things come true. He could only look on and let his hope overwhelm and sting him.

“Ray is the only other person who knows about the gift,” his mother told him.

“Curse,” Gerard had corrected.

She sighed lightly, and continued, “You cannot ever tell anyone about it. You can’t allow anyone to take advantage of you in that way. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” Gerard nodded sadly, feeling inside him that he had just been given an order. He couldn’t shrug it off if he wanted to. Both Ray and his mother have done their best, gone out of their way, to allow him freedom not to be told. He can’t escape it though. School is a matter of which he can’t avoid being told what to do. The world is one full of orders, and Gerard is helpless to every single one.

Gerard understood why he was being told this on that day, but he doesn’t like the fact that he has no choice but to obey. Not even in desperate measures will he be allowed to. Words have a very powerful hold over him, which he can’t even begin to understand.

“You are so strong, Gerard. You need to realize that now, because one day you will need to know that you are greater than any spell set upon you.”

Gerard shakily repeated, “You are not going to die.” He looked into his mother’s eyes, trying to memorize the richness there. They had the same eyes, so had Michael. The same deep light brown eyes that garnered much intelligence despite the lack of years to justify it. 

Gerard knew that that day was different. It would not be like the others where he woke up the next day to find her still there, frail and weak, but still there.

Ray rushed into his mother’s room not long after their discussion and hurried him away. Gerard knew that something was gravely wrong by the look on his face, and he tried to disobey, but he couldn’t. Gerard was sent to his room, and put to bed.

Gerard’s mother did not heed his orders.

Finally, time requires several more years to pass for us to begin where we find ourselves today. 

It has been a bad year for the family, financially. Gerard’s father has been sending them very little money, and will soon be returning with his latest gamble on how to keep the house. Gerard has not been in favor of it. He has optioned himself off to get a job as an alternative, but no one will hire him. He is the odd boy that no one understands. Everyone knows that there is something off about him, but no one knows precisely what.

Gerard, still the ever obedient boy he was before, only older, with a softer face and kinder disposition, stands in front of his house.

He stands beside the only paternal figure he can rely on still. His father is gone too often to have built any sort of hold on Gerard’s allegiance. Only Ray has been there the whole time. Ray is both a mother and a father, while being neither officially.

Today, in the scheme of things, is like every other day. The sun shines brightly over the fields of crops around them, the smell of summer air gracing them as they watch the town wake up. There’s a few people up and about already, farmers mainly, tending to their daily business, their lives eternally decided by the placement of the sun. 

It’s not purely for amusement that they stand outside the empty house, waiting for the biggest change in their lives since the death of Gerard’s mother several years ago.

Life has been much the same from day-to-day since her death. Gerard attends school in the small one classroom building nearby. He has one friend, one friend who doesn’t look down on him for being peculiar. Gerard avoids people for the most part if he’s able to. He avoids them so that he doesn’t have to worry about people telling him what to do. His father is still rarely around them, supporting them financially, but providing Gerard with very little emotional support, if any at all. Ray is who he has to look up to the most. In a way, he is also a friend to Gerard, but more so a guardian. He’s the person who sticks up for Gerard if he can’t stick up for himself. 

At last, a horse drawn carriage can be seen from over the hill. Gerard takes a deep breath and holds it for as long as he can, dreading what will happen when that carriage stops in front of this house, waiting for it to upheaval his entire life. 

He doesn’t know it yet, but the contents of that carriage are about to shape and transform his life forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always encourage comments on the first chapter so that I'll know who's interested, so please, if you are interested, leave me a comment and in return you will receive my eternal adoration.


	2. Moving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gerard is kind of bratty to his new also fairly bratty stepsisters.

“This is going to be really awful, isn’t it?” Gerard asks Ray from the corner of his mouth.

“Oh most definitely,” Ray responds.

“Should I jump off a bridge now, or wait until they’re here?”

Ray rolls his eyes, and huffs, though he’s not that excited either. He’s not expecting much, and he doesn’t like replacing things that can’t be fixed. Gerard’s mother is not someone who can be replaced.

“Oh god, they’re almost here, this is my final chance to jump in front of the damn carriage,” Gerard says.

“You will do no such thing,” Ray replies. 

“I wasn’t actually going to do that you know. You worry too much.”

“You’d be making quite the first impression if your first action was to literally display how much this all displeases you.”

“But it does displease me,” Gerard scowls, “I’m not fond of the idea of a stepmother, but god forbid, I’m about to have step sisters.”

“They might be lovely,” Ray says, not believing himself.

“Rumor has spread of them. They’re not well liked in their old town. Arrogant, obsessive, rude.”

“Don’t believe everything you hear.”

“Don’t choke on your own clichés.”

Ray doesn’t respond because the carriage stops. Only a few meters away are the people who are about to overtake and habit their lives for possibly the rest of Gerard’s life. Probably not Ray’s, what with the eternal youth and all, but Gerard is still not looking forward to the fact that he’s probably never going to be able to escape this place ever. 

Gerard can’t find himself a job because no one wants to hire him, he has no money, no room to ever leave this town, and probably no room to ever leave this house. He’s probably going to die in this place working a job in town selling chicken feed or something equally as dull. And on top of that he’d be the most irresponsible employee ever because he wouldn’t really be able to stop someone from stealing things as long as they told him not to interfere. Gerard’s life is really setup for ever looming disaster. Really, it’s a wonder that nothing _really_ bad has happened yet.

“Stand up straight,” Ray says before the door opens.

“You’re not my mother,” Gerard says, but he has no choice in the matter. He feels his back straighten as if on instinct. 

“No, that would be,” Ray starts, and the door opens as if on cue. The first to step out is Gerard’s tired looking father. Gerard’s not sure if he necessarily dislikes the man as much as he is indifferent to him. He’s never been there. He’s never been an overly horrible person, but he’s just never been there to prove himself as anything other than the guy who Gerard has to thank for his own existence. 

“Ah, good, you’re here,” he says, which his hello apparently after not seeing either of them in over six months.

“We didn’t want to miss this,” Gerard says, and his father is too unfamiliar with him to detect the sarcasm there. 

“I’m sure you’ll love them,” he replies, and Gerard scowls to himself, trying to prolong this whole thing from happening at all, but his brains hopes don’t make it any more possible.

Without even acknowledging Ray’s existence, he smiles back into the carriage, and beckons for someone to come out, making Gerard’s frown even more obvious. He turns to Ray quickly who sends him a warning glare to play nice. He’s not a huge fan of people though, especially not rich people, which these people won’t exactly be, but they’re certainly richer than them. 

“Gerard, I’d like you to meet Dame Olga,” he says, and Gerard thanks him for not including the fact that the ugly old bat who steps out of the carriage is his new stepmother. It’s all very typical of Gerard’s father to go off and do something without consulting either of them before he does it. He’s always trying to change everything, and doesn’t seem to understand that both him and Ray would rather be living poor and happy lives rather than with spare pocket change and completely miserable.

“Say hi,” Ray hisses at him, before introducing himself first. Gerard doesn’t want to. He doesn’t want to acknowledge the existence of this woman let alone play around with niceties.

“This is my son, Gerard,” his father says for him. Gerard makes a hand gesture that could be described as either a wave or a swat at the fly that’s buzzing around him. 

“Hello,” Gerard says, because he can’t stop the words from coming.

“Well,” Dame Olga, who Gerard is fondly in his head referring to as Buggy, says, “this isn’t exactly what I was imagining.”

“I’m sorry, but our summer home is currently being overrun by man eating chipmunks,” Gerard says, and apparently this is not seen as funny to anyone but him.

“These are my daughters,” Buggy says, with a stern face and a thin mouth which really only does more to make Gerard think she looks like an overlarge bug. Or a frog. She could also be mistaken for a frog. 

Her hair looks stiff from teasing and perfecting, her eyes look like they can see 360 degrees in all directions because they’re too wide and not in a very good way. Her mouth is huge as well, taking up at least half of her face, and her small nose, tinier than any nose Gerard’s ever seen, feels so desperately out of place on her. It’s so out of proportion from the rest of her face.

Overall, Gerard doesn’t hold out a lot of hope for the appearance of her daughters if they share her genes.

His guesses are kind of proven right when two girls step out, one a few years older than the other, the elder about his age.

The thing is, they’re not even that unattractive, it’s just that their faces are both so morphed from making the same exact pretentious scowl that you can read their entire character just from their expressions. The older is going to have wrinkles indicating that permanent scowl she has someday, and it’s probably going to make her face look worse than the way she’s already presenting it. She wears a dress far too gaudy for everyday attire, and Gerard thinks that she’s probably dressed up for this event. As she looks upon Gerard, he can tell she’s regretting it.

The other girl looks similar, and maybe it’s the way her eyebrows are tweezed, but she looks less villainous and more stupid. Her dress looks far more secondhand, like Buggy has a very definitive favorite child, but that doesn’t make the least loved any less horrible or mean looking. 

Buggy, with her lips pursed, and very obviously looking down at Gerard, introduces her two daughters, looking to her favorite first as Gerard is given the name he already knows to belong to her. Her name is Hattie, and from the rumors that Gerard’s heard about her, she is appallingly narcissistic, boy-crazy, and uncaring. The second is Olive, whose intelligence is about as low as Gerard’s savings and that’s saying quite a bit. The rumor is also that Hattie, whose face probably deters most boys and her personality deters the rest, is in love with the Prince which is kind of strange because the Prince is probably as corrupt and prejudice as his uncle.

Gerard is not fond of the monarchy, nor of the family which rests wealthily under it. Ray says he’s too young to be thinking so politically, but Ray is like a hundred years old and has seen a couple governments reign over him, but Gerard’s seen only two and the adverse difference between them are offensive. After the death of the King and Queen before him, Sir Edgar as his first act made the kingdom hell for anyone not human. Segregation was multiplied tenfold and no one bat an eyelash at his unfair methods of control.

Gerard’s views on the matter are a minority though, as everyone else seems blissfully unaware of how the enslavement of elves, and giants is as everyday as the sun rising in the east. Seemingly, no one cares.

For this, Gerard’s outlook of royalty is not flattering, and he expects very little from that puny man who thinks himself a prince. Frank, as he calls himself looks about as meager minded as any of the kids in the back of Gerard’s classes. He holds little hope for the future of the kingdom and he holds as low an opinion of Sir Edgar and his nephew.

For these reasons, Gerard dislikes Hattie immediately. She only likes the Prince because he’s dreamy. In all fairness, Gerard doesn’t disagree, but it’s a pathetic reason for supporting someone by all accounts. The fact that one would support corrupt royalty based solely on looks is what makes Gerard already feel the growing hatred he’s going to have with his stepsisters. 

“Honor to meet you,” Gerard finally says, and you’d have to be a real idiot not to sense how flat and stale his words are. So, of course, Olive completely misses his tone. She’s really not doing a whole lot to disprove her reputation.

Hattie makes no indication that she intends to respond, and Gerard simply rolls his eyes again and waits for his chance to ditch this situation. He doesn’t care if he never acquaints himself with either of these girls, they’re here to ruin his life even if they don’t know it yet. All three of them are the shittiest possible replacements for the family that Gerard’s lost. For all intense and purposes, the only family Gerard has is Ray. 

“Gerard, I’ll ask you to show your sisters around, give them a tour,” his father says and Gerard looks back at him aghast. Why does he have to do it? Is there something that his father already has to do after being back in town for less than five minutes?

“Just do it, don’t complain,” Buggy says, and the order bites at Gerard like a fist, and he grits his teeth before shaking his head and waving a hand for the two to follow him. He’s know the woman for less than a minute and already he’s being ordered around by her. He’s not going to give these girls a very good tour, but if he must, he’ll do what he’s told. 

“This here is called a front door,” Gerard says, turning to look at the two reluctantly following girls.

“I am aware of what a front door is,” Hattie says, which she probably says to try to make herself look better, but it just makes her look more idiotic.

“Congratulations,” Gerard says, entering the sad excuse for a foyer. It’s an unassuming small room, with a thin wooden and overly creaky staircase nestled into the corner. It leads through to a sitting area with a couple, mostly empty bookshelves, lining the walls. Every time his dad visits, a few more books go missing and Gerard’s supposed to not question it, but it’s very obvious that they’re being sold off little by little to pay for the excessive travelling fees that being a traveling businessman entails.

“Just show me my bedroom and be on your way,” Hattie demands of him as soon as the door closes behind him. 

“Ah well see, it’s a small house, you’ll be sharing a bedroom between the two of you,” Gerard says, smiling, because he knows that’s bound to piss them off. 

“Excuse me?” Hattie says with the most pretentious accent Gerard has ever had the displeasure of hearing. 

“It’s a small house,” Gerard shrugs, leading the two of them up the stairs. Olive doesn’t seem very talkative, and Gerard is fine with that.

“Can’t the help sleep somewhere else?”

“If you’re referring to Ray, he’s not the help,” Gerard says.

“But he’s-”

“A household fairy, yes, but he’s lived here my whole life and deserves a room to himself. Now unless one of you two wants to bunk with me, you share a room or you sleep in the pig house.”

“There were no pigs out there,” Olive says, and Gerard turns to see her looking thoroughly confused, and that’s what makes him grin to himself.

“Well, not yet,” he replies.

“What do you mean by that?” Hattie asks, his joke apparently not going as far over her head as it had Olive’s.

“Just that we have enough land to make this into a farm one day,” Gerard says, “We just don’t have the funds.” It’s a smooth enough recovery, he thinks to himself.

He gets to the landing, takes a left and shows them to the vacant room, which in all honesty, is the biggest reason for why he was so angry with the arrival of his new step family. This had been his brother’s room. Up until a few days ago, not a single item of his had been touched or moved since his disappearance. Not a thing. But now it’s all been gathered up and stowed in the storage room off the sitting area downstairs. Gerard’s hatred of these girls was instituted as soon as he had to start moving Michael’s belongings away from where they should always be. 

Gerard has rarely visited this room since Michael had disappeared, because it makes him sad to be in there, but that doesn’t mean he’s any less angry about having to give this away to these two undeserving infiltrators. 

He backs up to let the two of them look at it, two small mattresses and a dresser barely shoved into the room, leaving only a small amount of space for one to walk around.

“Are you sure this isn’t a broom closet?” Hattie asks, her lip curling as if in disgust. It’s the same face that her mother had been making a few moments ago.

“What kind of huge ass brooms do they have where you lived?” 

“We lived next to the castle,” Olive says proudly, “on the south side which is the side with the Prince’s bedroom on it.”

“How very creepy of you to know that,” Gerard replies, wondering how obsessive you have to be to know which window belongs to the Prince in a castle with hundreds of windows. He doesn’t even think he wants to know how Olive could know that. 

“Show us your room,” Hattie orders. Gerard’s insides fill with venom that he wants to spit at her, but he can’t refuse, so he just sighs and leads her back across the landing to his own room. Gerard’s room is very bare, because they don’t have enough money for him to decorate it, so it’s not much more exciting than theirs but it’s still bigger, and instead of a dresser there’s a closet which makes it seem even larger.

“Oh this is quite a bit better,” Hattie says. “We want this one.”

“That’s fantastic. I want to live in a palace but you don’t see me making impossible wishes all over the place, do you?”

“Oh come on,” Hattie says, “we’re in a strange land, our lives uprooted. The least you could do is give us your bedroom.”

“Oh how hard for you,” Gerard says in a honeyed voice that does little to guise how little he means it. “That must be so very hard for you.” He resists the urge to tell them about how much harder he has it, but that would only make him the same brat that he’s making fun of in his head right now.

“It can be your gift to us,” Hattie says, “You don’t need all this space after all.”

“This has been my room from the day I was born, I may not need the space, but this is _my_ space nevertheless.”

“Just give us the room!” Hattie says, her voice getting shrill as she says it and Gerard seriously is a second away from punching her in the face at those words. 

He wants more than nothing in the world to say no, but he can’t. He has no choice but to say, “Fine.”

“What, really?” Hattie asks, looking completely taken aback.

“Fine, just have it, but you’re moving your stuff from the other room, if you want it so bad, I’m not going to help,” Gerard says, feeling as if his heart is about to explode from how bottled in all of his true thoughts on the matter are. He doesn’t know if he can bear sleeping in the other room. All he’ll think about day in and day out is of the brother whose room he’s stealing. But the fact is that he has no choice. It’s not up to him what other people command of him, but he doesn’t want to be here to wait for more orders from the two of them. He wants to be far away so that he’s safe from their words.

Just like that, he’s running down the stairs feeling a huge portion of his life being ripped away from him without his consent. It’s stupid, he knows it is, but he’s lived in that room for eighteen years. For his entire life that room has been his room. Now two bratty girls come into his life and without any other words they just take it away from him. He doesn’t get to say no, or debate about it, he’s just forced to give in. 

And Michael’s not here to help him out. He’d never known about the curse, but Gerard would have told him in a second. If he were here, maybe those two would still demand Gerard’s room, but at least Gerard would be living in a room that’s occupied by his brother rather than the memory of him. 

He’d be sixteen right now.

Gerard shakes his head and corrects himself, because he _is_ sixteen. He’s still alive. He has to be. He can’t be dead, because Gerard won’t allow himself to think like that. He’s out there somewhere, living a large portion of his life without Gerard, probably wondering if Gerard misses him at all. He does, more than anything.

He misses his brother more than his mother, but that’s because Gerard still has the hope that Michael might still be alive. He knows his mom is gone and she’s not coming back, but he doesn’t have the relief of knowing if that’s true of his brother or not.

Gerard hurries out of the front door, he’s not really storming out, he’s just escaping for a while. Ray is still standing outside, pretending to help to move all of the new stepfamily’s stuff, but Gerard can tell he’s not really doing much of anything besides watching Gerard’s father do all the work. 

“How are they?” Ray whispers as Gerard walks over to him.

“Vile,” he responds, “as to be expected.”

“Tell me what’s wrong.”

“They... ugh, they’re taking my bedroom,” Gerard says, grumpily.

“Sorry to hear that,” Ray says. “Maybe that will put you on better terms with them though.”

“I don’t care if they dislike me or not, I will be civil, but I will not let them step all over me if I can help it.”

“Do your best,” Ray says, “but for now, leave so you won’t be told to do anything more.”

“You’re probably right,” Gerard agrees nodding, I’ll find Patrick in town. Is there anything I need to get while I’m out?”

“Not that I can think of, just hurry along okay? Don’t let them get more out of you.”

“Alright,” Gerard says, and he starts to head off in the direction of town, going the way that the carriage had come. He knows that before the day is done, he’ll probably be ordered around more, but the least he can do is find refuge in the company of someone who’s hardly ever ordered anything of him in his life. 

It’s not much of an alternative from his usual chores, and the nagging he’s anticipating from the people stealing his house, but it’s something at least to put off the inevitability of his already crumbling routine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are still appreciated, and also I love you.


	3. Patrick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Exposition time!

The basics of Frell are as simple and mindless as the basics of any other small, mostly human inhabited, town. Occasionally wonderers travel through, but in all reality, town doesn’t change much from day to day, or even from year to year. Everyone knows everyone else, gossip is rampant among the town, and everyone has a schedule that changes very little over their life. 

Gerard’s life is fairly similar to the rest of the town’s, but it’s gossiped over more than many others. Obviously, the talk of the town is usually whose kids are romantically involved with who else’s kids, but when gossip finds a lull, it always finds a way to come back to the strange boy who no one knows much about.

Presently however, the town is buzzing with word of the new residents. A mother and her two girls, living in _that_ house.

It’s not even noon yet and as Gerard walks through the edge of town he can already feel the eyes being drawn towards him. What’s more is when he looks up at the windows of the houses, he sees curtains being hurriedly drawn so that people aren’t caught in the act of staring.

Gerard doesn’t enjoy it necessarily, he’s just extremely amused. He would feel worse about it if he wasn’t used to being the center of attention like this already. He’s just grown used to, and quite fond of being different than anyone else. He wishes it were under different circumstances that he were different, but sometimes it’s a blessing not to be the same model of the same person that everyone else is.

Gerard’s destination is to the candle shop, but not to the actual candle shop, because he couldn’t care less about candles, but to the person who lives above the candle shop and whose house always smells of melted wax. For this reason, he is very rarely ever opposed to getting the hell away from his house. Not that it smells bad, but there’s only so much candle wax that someone can stand on a daily basis and it’s just too much.

Patrick meets Gerard outside of the store before Gerard even makes it all the way to the door. He’s only halfway down the street. Patrick was waiting for him most likely, eager to get the hell away from Mrs. Dupree asking him for the umpteenth time how his mother is and if his family is doing well. You’d think for a woman whose workplace is directly beneath Patrick’s entire family, she’d have gotten the message that everyone is alright for the time being, and no, he does not want to smell your newest candle, thank you very much.

“I heard you have new company,” Patrick says.

“Well yeah, you would’ve. I told you they were coming like three weeks ago.”

“How are they?”

“Awful,” Gerard replies. “Picture snottier versions of the girls in class.”

“That bad, huh?” 

“Worse,” Gerard groans. “I’m escaping them.”

“I feel special that you hate them more than you like me,” Patrick replies.

“You know I wouldn’t function without you.”

“I do,” Patrick nods. “So have you heard about the Prince?” 

“I have heard about him, yes, I mean, he’s kind of important. He’s kind of our future king, that’s how those things work, typically. So...”

“No that’s not what I meant,” Patrick shakes his head, stopping slightly as they walk down the road. He’s not positive in which direction they’re going, he’s just following where Gerard’s taking them, and Gerard doesn’t have an ultimate destination in mind either. Away is his only goal.

“Well please enlighten me,” Gerard says.

“He’s coming here,” Patrick says, “in a few weeks. Some political forum or whatever.”

“Why?” Gerard asks, “he’s already got the job, why does he need to campaign for it? I mean, that’s how this works. He takes the throne because his family owns the throne. I take the fine china that my father doesn’t steal and sell for half it’s worth.”

“Early coronation I think,” Patrick replies, “since Edgar is only the steward of the throne, the Prince has more a right to it than him, so he may be able to take early possession of it.”

“Okay, see I wasn’t paying that much attention in class. Did you eat the schoolbook?” Gerard says. “But I still don’t like that family. Or at least, I don’t hold much hope for them.”

“It’s Edgar that’s the problem, I don’t know enough of the Prince to form an opinion of him yet, I just know that every girl in this town swoons over him, which isn’t really my place to comment on,” Patrick says. “What do you think though? Should we go? It might be interesting.”

“It might be awful,” Gerard counteracts.

“We don’t know anything of him though, it’s unfair to judge him from what little we know of his uncle,” Patrick says, “but you don’t see me defending that man. He’s a villain, a menace to the kingdom, but his brother, King Jerrold, he was a good man. I think it would be unwise to discredit that, and after all, the Prince is not Edgar’s son.”

“You are too hopeful, too kind, and too eager to believe the good in people.”

Patrick shakes his head, smiling at Gerard’s words, “Maybe you have it backwards. Maybe you are too quick to judge.”

“It’s possible,” Gerard nods, “I believe in good, but I don’t believe in miracles. Frank, whatever kind of a man he is, he is still, and he will always be, the nephew of the man who ruined this kingdom.”

“Don’t make your mind up about him before you know what he’s made of. You’re made if the same stuff as your father, but you are unlike me, why can’t the Prince be the same?” Patrick says, “But in any case, we’re going to that gathering, I’ve decided it.”

“Patrick, I’d rather not.”

“You’re going,” Patrick says, “End of story.”

Gerard purses his lips, but there’s no arguing to be done. “I’m not happy about it.”

“You just have to keep an open mind,” Patrick tells him. 

“It’s not as easy as you make it out to be.”

“Well, the end of the matter is this, I don’t know whether Frank will make a good King. I don’t know whether he is a good person, or if he shares the prejudice beliefs of his uncle, but I do know that I haven’t been given all of the information. Without the information that I require, I cannot begin to decide whether I should pack my bags now and run away, or if I wait and hope for the improvement of my home.”

“You wouldn’t leave without me,” Gerard says.

“No,” Patrick shakes his head, “I’d invite you along to run across the border. And we could bring Ray. He’s not much of a fairy, but he’s a good man all the same. I only hope the same would be true of you, were it you doing the running.”

“Patrick, you’re the only friend I’ve ever had in my entire life. You think if I were to go on a life altering adventure, I would leave you behind?” 

Gerard notices that the direction they’re going is taking them too close to the woods, and he steers them away. Gerard has dreams of going far away from here, but he still fears the grounds outside his home. He doesn’t know half of what’s out there, nor does he want to trifle with what may meet him. Gerard has left his hometown only once in his lifetime, and that was a long time ago.

Ironic that Gerard longs to be anywhere but here, but he’s too afraid to leave. Ironic again that he despises the rulers of the kingdom and yet he longs to see the castle in which they live. There is a certain romanticism in the idea of a castle, and he knows that. It’s not hard to imagine that power going to one’s head, but he still looks down on those who have it. Gerard has double standards for a lot of things, and he knows that. He does his best to be the best he can be, but he’s still human.

Gerard reads too much. That’s one of his biggest problems. He reads too much about the purity and the infallibility of the past, and he looks at his own surroundings and sees the opposite of what he’s been told is truth. The Kings of the past, even the ones with flaws as big as the eye can see, seem better, not because they are, but because the nature of what Gerard expects is not achievable by the standards to which he holds everything. 

“Go on then,” Patrick says, “I know you’re dying to tell me all about your new step sisters.”

“I’m that transparent?” Gerard laughs. 

“I just know you really well,” Patrick says, “and also you’re transparent.”

“Well for starters, they’re pieces of shit,” Gerard says.

“Don’t hold back.”

“Okay. Their mom looks like a gigantic bug. Her eyes are huge. And her mouth, oh my god, I’m expecting her to grow antennae any second and start flying around stinging people. And the girls, they are so _dim_. They used to live outside the castle, and knew which window was the Prince’s! How creepy is that? Like, I don’t even know which window is yours, and I have been in your room a million times. Oh my god, they are just completely creepy, and rude, and they decided they were going to take my room without asking me.”

“What, you mean they took your room?” Patrick asks, “You just let them?” 

“What was I going to do, punch them? I had no choice, so I just ran away before they could tell me to do worse.”

“You don’t have to listen,” Patrick says, “why did you just let them take it? You could’ve said no.”

“I couldn’t,” Gerard replies.

“Yes you could have,” Patrick says.

“No, I really couldn’t.”

“Gerard-”

“Patrick, you don’t understand,” Gerard says, stunting whatever Patrick had intended to say. 

Patrick doesn’t respond. Gerard fears he was too harsh. He really does wish he had the option to tell Patrick. He doesn’t know if he would if he had the ability, but he would like the choice. It’s a terrible thing not to be allowed to make your own decisions. The few times he does get to make a choice of his own, it’s always overruled by the orders of someone else. Most of the time it’s accidental. No one ever means to tell him what it is he’s supposed to do, but it happens so regularly that no one even notices.

Gerard is the only person who notices how many orders there are in the world. He’s the only person who never misses a single one. He always hears, and he never in his life has let it brush off of him. Every weight starts to get a little heavier than it was before whenever he’s told what to do.

“You think I’m too polite,” Patrick says, “I know you do, everyone does. But there’s a difference between being polite and standing up for yourself, Gerard.” 

“I know there is, I see it, but I don’t have as much will to do as I wish as other people,” Gerard responds, and he knows that’s probably the most words on the subject that his body will allow him to say without stopping him. 

“You know,” Patrick says, “I don’t pay much heed to the town gossip, but people aren’t wrong when they say there’s something off about you.”

“Come on, Patrick, you’ve known me long enough to know that that’s true without needing to listen to the rumor mill.”

“Yeah,” Patrick shrugs, “but I have a certain image to uphold.”

“Since when do you care about image?” 

“Since I became the second biggest weirdo in town.”

“Sorry about that,” Gerard sighs, knowing it’s because Patrick associates with him that caused him to be branded a weirdo. 

“No, please. It’s not like either of us are undeserving,” Patrick says, and really, Gerard can’t disagree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story will pick up, I promise, I've just got to set up the story first, so I am sorry it's not exciting quite yet.


	4. Trapped

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some idiot got their foot caught in trap.

“I have come to the conclusion,” Gerard says, sitting against the tree where Patrick already is, “that my new sisters are actually sent from hell to make my life absolutely miserable.”

“I thought this fact was already established,” Patrick asks.

“Well, I was aware of it being likely, but now I’m sure of it. They’re literally here to make me wish I were dead, or being tortured, or slowly being eaten alive by vultures.”

“That’s a colorful way to describe someone.”

“They’re so fucking awful. They literally couldn’t be worse human beings if they tried.”

“You literally said that about Sir Edgar like two hours ago,” Patrick replies.

“Yeah, but I’ve never met him. I’ve been living with those assholes for like forever now.”

“Ah yes, forever,” Patrick nods, “Also known as three weeks.”

“Okay, but how long have _you_ known them and how many times would you like to stab them in the chest?” Gerard asks.

“I don’t believe in violence,” Patrick says, “maybe, just greatly inconvenience them by, like, dampening all their clothes.”

“Oh yeah, you can really stick it to them that way,” Gerard says.

“Hey,” Patrick says, “You have fun enjoying prison, I’m going to walk out here a free man knowing I totally ruined their day once.”

“Not polite,” Gerard frowns.

“Hey, I’m not the murderer here.”

“Okay, but in all honesty, I wouldn’t waste a blade on either of them. They are awful, truly awful, and I wish them many ills, but I wouldn’t let their putridness turn me into anything so vile as them,” Gerard says, making a face just thinking about his stepsisters.

Just last week, they chewed Ray out for ‘improperly tending to the house’ which was their sugared up way of saying that they hate his presence in the house. Gerard knows that if they could, they’d fire the guy on the spot, but that’s one thing in which they have no say, thank god. Really though, they’re such pampered brats that he doesn’t know how they’d deal with life if they didn’t have someone to cook and clean up after them. Surely they’d just hire someone else, but there’s no way the three of them could survive a day and a half without someone to tend for them. No one as compassionate as Ray would be up for the job anyway, and the day he leaves the house is the day Gerard runs away. 

Also, neither Hattie nor Olive have any sense of time management at all. Either they’re up far beyond the sunset, or they’re late to everything. He doesn’t know what it is the two of them talk about in Gerard’s old room in the meager hours of the morning, but there’s nothing interesting enough to mouth off about for that many hours in a row.

The last few weeks of Gerard’s life have been some of the worst. He’s barely gotten any sleep, too haunted by the memories of his brother, ten times amplified by the surroundings he now has to live with. 

Buggy thinks she has the right to boss Gerard around like she’s his kid, when they both know he isn’t. That doesn’t give him any wiggle room to say no to her orders, but it does mean that he’s spiteful of everything she’s forced him to do. He’s scrubbed the floors on her command at least five times by now, and when he did the floor in her room, he used a combination of floor wax and also some tree sap he picked up in town. Her shoes have gotten glued to the floor twice now. 

Gerard is sick of being the good little servant boy for them, so he doesn’t give them the chance if he can help it. He’s never home anymore, and he really does pity Ray who can’t escape as easily, but Ray assures him that he wouldn’t have it any other way. After all, Ray doesn’t have to obey every order he’s given so it’s much less dangerous for him to have to listen to those pests at all hours of the day.

“I don’t know if that could really be called taking the high road or not,” Patrick says. “You’re essentially admitting to hating them so much that it would be a waste of your energy to harm them. I don’t know that it’s really the bigger thing to do or not.”

“I’m not snotty to them for the sake of it, I treat them only in the fashion that they treat me,” Gerard says, “it’s not rude of me, it’s what they’ve asked of me given their own behavior.”

“That’s a cheap cop out.” 

“You’re a cheap cop out,” Gerard says with a shrug.

“Ugh, whatever, so when do you want to meet tomorrow?” 

“Meet for what?”

“Uh, the Prince,” Patrick replies, looking at him like he has totally lost it, and in all honesty, that’s not completely impossible. With the new changes in his life, Patrick almost thinks Gerard deserves a round of applause for not having dissolved into dust yet.

“Oh,” Gerard sighs, “is that tomorrow?”

“Seriously? Were you paying attention at all in class today? It’s not like Mrs. Mcvae reminded us like seventeen times or anything,” Patrick tells him. 

“I just drifted off, I suppose. I mean, what’s it really matter? What’s it going to mean in two days anyway? He’s just the Prince.”

“He’s just the guy who’s going to shape the future of this kingdom, and has the power to ruin our lives. No biggie.”

“Yeesh, I’ve already said I’ll go with you, but I was never told that I had to be happy about it, so I won’t be.”

“Fine,” Patrick says, shaking his head, “But we should go, because we can get extra credit if we attend, and you might actually need it.”

“Bitch,” Gerard says, shaking his head, “Well I suppose Hattie and Olive will be there. We can make fun of them, and watch them swoon over how oh so gorgeous the Prince is.” Gerard starts laughing to himself at the mere thought of the two of them being in the presence of the Prince. It’s almost too much for his brain to bear, thinking about their ugly faces so twisted up in their obsessive glee.

Gerard almost pities the Prince because of it. He almost pities the fact that anyone could be so adored by such awful people, and probably many more as vapid as them. He almost pities the Prince, that is, if not for the fact that he lives a cushy, perfect life full of no worries or annoying stepsisters. Gerard refuses to envy the Prince though.

“I actually have to be heading home or Ma will kill me,” Patrick says, standing up and dusting off his pants of grass and dirt.

“Yeah I should be going to,” Gerard says, pulling himself up after Patrick, “tell her I say hi.”

“Will do, and same for Ray,” Patrick tells him, and they start heading off in different directions.

“Sure thing,” Gerard says, already knowing that Patrick was going to say that.

“Oh, and how does ten sound? I’ll meet you at the fountain?” Patrick calls, and Gerard gives an offhanded gesture and agrees. 

He doesn’t really want to be headed home, but he might as well go now if Patrick isn’t going to hang out any longer. Maybe he can help make dinner to avoid everyone. His father’s already off on another trip to who knows where, so Gerard is alone with the three hags, with only Ray there to help him retain his sanity. 

There’s never much foot traffic outside the center of town, so Gerard makes his way down his usual path unimpeded with nothing but the sound of birds and nature to accompany him, which is how he likes it. He does thoroughly adore Patrick, he’s his best friend, but Gerard only has one friend, and has only ever had one friend. Sometimes, you just need to be alone. He wishes there were new company, but seeing as that’s unlikely, he has to settle with being alone as an escape from everyone he knows too well. 

Gerard doesn’t see or hear anyone on his walk back to the house until someone decides to ruin the peace by swearing up a storm. Gerard stops in his tracks, looking for the source of the sound, until he figures out it’s someone somewhere in front of him. He keeps walking until he sees the outline of a human in the trees off to the side of the dirt road.

“Ah fuck,” the someone says, “ah fuck. _Fuck_!” 

This someone is a man, but Gerard can’t make anything out of his face from where he is, too hidden by tree branches.

“Yeah see, they don’t put the no trespassing signs up for kicks, they actually put them there because they don’t want you to trespass,” Gerard says, smirking as the guy who just stepped into an animal trap hops around on his foot trying to get it off. 

“What the fuck is this thing?”

“You don’t get out much, do you?” Gerard asks.

“I... is it that obvious?” the guy asks, and he turns his back on Gerard, leaning against a tree to try to pry the trap off his foot.

“Well, I mean, either you are an overgrown fox or you really have no idea what a fox trap is.”

“Why are they trying to trap a fucking fox?” he asks, “what the hell did it ever do to you, you fucking bastards?”

“You really don’t get out much,” Gerard says. He tries to figure out how anyone could be clueless as to why someone who owns a farm would want to get rid of foxes. Maybe he doesn’t know he’s on the grounds of a farm, but really, it’s not that hard to figure out. 

“Would you... maybe?” the guy asks, and Gerard groans.

“You got yourself into this mess.”

“Just fucking help me out,” the guy says, and Gerard frowns with his entire face. He gives into it as his body makes its way over the thin wire fence and walks the few feet to where the guy now is, still hopping and making these weird whining sounds.

“I mean I hate to say you deserved it, but come on man,” Gerard says, bending down, “If you climb over someone’s fence where it explicitly says no trespassing but still choose to ignore it, then you really do deserve it.”

“You don’t need to be condescending,” the guy replies.

“Oh but I do,” Gerard replies, “So what were you trying to achieve anyway?”

“I thought... I mean I didn’t know it was private property. I thought it would just be a more secluded way to get where I was going.”

“And where were you going?” Gerard asks. 

“That’s really not something you need worry yourself with,” he replies.

“Do you really want to sass the guy who’s trying to help you out?” Gerard asks him, looking up, but the sun is setting and the shadow of the trees is making it impossible for him to see the guys face. 

“Sorry, sorry,” the guy responds, “I mean, I didn’t really have an ultimate destination, I just don’t like to be around, uh, well, people.”

“New in town and already trying to avoid the townsfolk. You are not going to hit it off well here,” Gerard says.

“I’m just passing through,” he replies, “I won’t be here long.”

Gerard tries to pull the mouth of the trap open, but it’s really tough, and he’s honestly not sure if he’s got strength enough to actually get it to come loose. The poor guy’s foot, it must hurt like a bitch. Gerard would probably be screaming and crying in his place, but then again, he’s not stupid enough to go walking around through other people’s property, especially if he can’t see where his feet are going. 

“Lucky,” Gerard says.

“Why, what’s wrong with Frell?”

“It’s just so mundane,” Gerard says, making a face as he tries, with no avail, to pull the trap open. 

“Well, I’ve got news for you, and that’s that everywhere is mundane. It’s the people that make it worthwhile, but unfortunately, most people aren’t worthwhile.”

“Tell me about it,” Gerard says, smirking, and even if this guy is a complete idiot, at least he doesn’t seem that bad.

“How’s it coming?” he asks.

“Man, this thing is made out of diamonds or something, I literally can’t get it to even open,” Gerard says, shaking his head, “Hold on, let me try from the other side.”

“Uh...?”

“Like, I’m going to see if I can’t dismantle it one way or another,” Gerard tells him.

“Is that going to imply more pain or should I just cut the foot off now?”

“I’ll try to save it, but don’t count on it,” Gerard jokes, though there’s no real danger that his foot is going to come off, maybe if he were a fox, but he’s got thicker bones, hopefully. 

“Ow!” he shouts, “motherfucker.”

“Sorry!” Gerard says, wincing even though he can’t feel it, but whatever he just did to the trap made it clamp even tighter.

“Some help you are,” the guy groans.

“Okay, I am trying, it would help if you gave me a little faith.”

“I’m sorry, I forgot about pleasantries because my foot literally feels like it’s going to fall off.”

“Stop exaggerating,” Gerard says, and he pulls a screw out of the contraption, though he doesn’t know where it came from, but at least he’s making some progress. “I’m starting to get somewhere.”

“Oh please, take your time.”

“Stop with the sarcasm or I will leave you hear to be eaten alive by the wildlife.”

“Oh I’m so scared, what ever will I do to fend off an impending squirrel attack?”

“There are Ogre’s around here you know,” Gerard says, “I mean the likelihood of them hurting you are almost nonexistent but-” 

“Uh, I beg to differ.”

“Oh you’re one of _those_ ,” Gerard groans, pulling another screw out of the trap.

“One of what?”

“The gullible people who believe a race who have been peaceful for the last several hundred thousand years all of a sudden just decided to be carnivorous tyrants, stomping up and down the kingdom eating everything on more than one leg.”

“I lost someone really important to an Ogre attack, I’ll have you know,” the guy says.

“Yeah well, I lost someone really important to a lake once, but you don’t see me boycotting all sources of water, do you?” 

“Let’s agree to disagree,” the guy says.

“You’re ignorant,” Gerard replies, “that’s not my fault, but whatever you wish. I don’t know you, it’s not like I can change your mind with a few fact based words. Emotions are always more reckless than fact anyway.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Just that the truth is often overshadowed by a need for someone’s opinion to be reality,” Gerard tells him. 

“Wow, that was like, really deep,” the man says.

“Well thanks I guess,” Gerard says, and at last, he can feel the trap loosening and he grins to himself over his great handiwork.

“Oh my fucking god,” the guy says, managing to shake the trap loose from his foot. “Thank you so much!”

“Yeah, you’re welcome,” Gerard says, pulling himself up, and making his way back over to the path, because there’s really no telling how many more traps might be set up around here, and he doesn’t want to have to deal with another one. 

“Oh yeah, good idea,” the guy says, and Gerard hears leaves crunching behind him as they both make their way out of immediate danger. 

“Now that you’ve saved me, do you think I get to know your name?” the guy asks, and Gerard steps back over the wire fence.

“It’s Gerard,” Gerard says when he returns to the dirt path, and he waits for the guy to catch up so he can finally get a look at his face. 

Gerard turns around, ready to ask him for his name when all the moisture drains from his mouth.

“Holy shit, you’re-”

“I’m Frank,” the guy says offering him a hand and this huge, heart-stopping smile that makes Gerard feel a little bit like his stepsisters. 

“Yeah well I know that now,” Gerard says, “Why didn’t you... why are you... you’re like... and I didn’t know... fuck.”

“So you know who I am then?” he asks, and Gerard is literally seconds away from having his eyes popping out of his skull.

“Yeah,” Gerard says emphatically, “you’re the fucking Prince.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment maybe?


	5. Zeal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gerard and Frank are from two different worlds.

“Most people call me Frank,” Frank, who is the fucking Prince, says.

“Okay, but you’re the fucking Prince.”

“Yeah, I know that, I’m the Prince, but really it’s just Frank.”

“The fucking Prince just got his foot caught in a fox trap,” Gerard says.

“I’m aware of that.”

“The fucking Prince is an idiot,” Gerard says.

“I wouldn’t go _that_ far,” he says.

“Dude, you got your foot stuck in a fox trap. Most foxes don’t get their feet stuck in traps.”

“I was... I’m new!”

“And you grew up in a castle, so you’re basically clueless of the world around you.”

“That’s not very nice,” Frank says.

“What are you gonna do, behead me?” Gerard asks, turning and walking back down the road to go straight home where he had intended to go in the first place, before this weird conundrum. 

“I mean, I could do,” he says, and for some reason unknown to Gerard, he follows him. “I’m the Prince, like I have that power.”

“Oh dearie me, I quake in my boots,” Gerard replies.

“You’re awfully sarcastic,” Frank says.

“Well, I figure I’m probably safe from being beheaded because then you’ll have to admit that you got your foot stuck in a fox trap.”

“Fair point,” he says.

“Why are you following me?” Gerard asks him.

“I don’t know. Should I not?”

“Don’t you have lives to ruin and species to enslave or something?”

“Excuse me?” Frank asks.

“Am I not supposed to acknowledge the genocide? I’m sorry, next time, I’ll keep it between me and everyone else in the kingdom.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Please,” Gerard groans, “it’s your policies that have made this place hell on earth and you think people didn’t notice?”

“My policies... you do realize I’m not the King right? Like I have virtually no power over this place. I have about as much pull as you,” Frank says, “basically the only difference between me and you is that I sleep in a nicer bed. And have more manners, but that’s beside the point.”

“Are you calling me rude?” 

“Yes,” Frank says.

Gerard grins, happy with himself for being rude to the Prince, which is not something he would have thought he’d get the opportunity to do. 

“Why are you smiling?” Frank asks, unsure of why he’s also smiling at the look on this, admittedly, complete strangers face. 

“I’m proud to have been called rude by the Prince,” Gerard says, “I mean it’s kind of ironic considering that one of us is a total piece of shit who’s murdered thousands of innocent lives and enslaved a bunch of others, but it’s funny that you think I’m the rude one because I state the obvious.”

Frank stops in his tracks, and Gerard really wishes he could bring himself to keep walking but he doesn’t. He stops too, turns around and looks at the Prince.

Frank doesn’t say anything for what feels like a couple of decades, maybe a millennia or two. Gerard can feel the leaves around them changing colors. His hair is practically turning grey just standing here looking scathingly at the fucking Prince who’s got this look on his face like Gerard just tried to explain a really complicated math expression to him. All in all, it’s probably about twenty seconds before Frank speaks up.

“You’re full of shit,” he says finally. 

“Am I?” Gerard asks.

“Yes.”

“You mean to tell me that you have no idea what’s going on in this kingdom? _Your_ kingdom?”

“It’s my Uncle’s kingdom if you want to get technical,” Frank replies.

“Then you’re completely unaware of the tactics your uncle has taken to eradicate the Ogre population I suppose?”

“You know an Ogre killed my father, right?” he asks.

“Likely story,” Gerard says, “the alleged attack that killed your father doesn’t warrant the hunting down of, until recently, completely tame creatures. If Ogre’s are acting out against humans for the first time in all of history, it’s your Uncle’s actions that triggered it. A peaceful species don’t just decide willy nilly that they’re going to start attacking people that have cohabited the same space as them for thousands of years.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Frank says, crossing his arms.

“But alas, I’m actually the one who does know what he’s talking about here. Maybe you should pick up a history book once and a while, your highness,” Gerard says, in the most patronizing way he can muster.

“None of what you’re saying makes sense,” Frank replies, “How do you suppose my father could’ve died that would appear to be an Ogre attack if no such attack ever took place?”

“Oh I don’t know, couldn’t have anything to do with the long and bloody history of being fucking royalty,” Gerard replies, “I mean, I’m no expert, but I am pretty sure that the two people in this kingdom who have the biggest targets on their heads, maybe not for any good reason other than for their high status, are you and your Uncle. Before them, it was your father and yourself. When you die, it’ll be your kids, and so on. There isn’t always a good reason to murder someone, but if you’re going to kill a guy, go big or go home.”

“You know if my guards were with me right now they’d probably arrest you just for saying that.”

“Is that really you’re defense?” Gerard asks, “’My Uncle’s rule is so hostile that they’ll arrest a teenager for speaking the truth about the kingdom?’”

“Your skewed truth,” Frank says like he’s making a correction. Gerard rolls his eyes and turns back around, walking away again. He’s not even half way to his house, Frank having distracted him from really getting anywhere. He hears him following, and Gerard groans outwardly.

“It’s not my perspective that’s been skewed, your highness.”

“Don’t call me that, my name is Frank.”

“If you’re not going to use the title, can I have it?” Gerard asks.

Frank actually laughs at that, “You want me to call you your highness?”

“I wouldn’t mind. Never had the honor.”

“Well alright then, your highness. You may be completely uneducated on your facts, but I like your wit.”

“Oh my wit makes up for your complete ignorance of the state of your own kingdom?”

“No, your wit makes up for _your_ complete ignorance of the state of the kingdom,” Frank says, and he has to practically jog to keep up. Gerard has heard many things about the Prince, various things, down to the way he likes his tea, but never did anyone mention that he was that _short_. The dude could be an elf. He’s actually probably shorter than many elves.

“You know what, actually,” Gerard says, coming to a stop again, and he pulls his bag off from around his shoulder, pulling out one of the books inside it. “You can have this.”

“What is it?”

“It’s a book.”

“Well I figured that much out for myself, thanks.”

“You probably didn’t expect me to be able to read, did you?” Gerard asks, eyebrow cocked.

“It never crossed my mind that you might not,” Frank replies.

“You really are unfit to be King,” Gerard murmurs to himself, “you know nothing of the lack of proper education. Are you aware of the funding that your Uncle cut off when he took power which made most people growing in rural parts of the kingdom illiterate? That’s your Uncle’s fault. No question. Maybe he does believe an Ogre killed his brother, or maybe he doesn’t, but one thing that you cannot deny is that he does not care about the education of the people in this kingdom. He thinks if he keeps us dumbed down enough that we won’t figure out how corrupt he is.”

“I don’t like the way you talk about him, he’s my family you know,” Frank says.

“That’s too bad. We can’t choose family, huh? My point is that if you read that book,” Gerard points to the leather bound book in Frank’s hand, “you’re not going to be overly fond of your uncle either.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Your dear precious Uncle had the author of that book executed for spreading false information, or that’s what they tell you at least. It’s out of print, that’s one of the only surviving copies. Took me a few years to hunt down, but it’ll tell you the truth about this hellhole. The hellhole that your Uncle ruined. I don’t need it anymore, I understand the world in which I live, but you somehow don’t. This was a great place to live once, you know. Giants lived freely, as did elves, and Ogres. But then your uncle took the throne and trampled all over the peace. He is an evil man by all accounts, and if you open your eyes you’ll see that.” 

“You’re just a radical, brainwashed by other radicals to believe lies fed to you in order to unsettle the common folk.”

“That’s all I am to you, isn’t it?” Gerard asks, “I’m a common folk. I’m a grass eating cow who you have made of game of entertaining, but you think yourself better than me.”

“I don’t.”

“You can deny it all you wish, but the way you hold yourself, the way you look at me, you look down on me. You look down on my town, and on my people, and you think us crude.”

“If that _is_ how I think, it’s my opinion to hold,” Frank says.

“It’s not an opinion, it’s pure arrogance through and through. If you believe me inferior to you, that is your big mistake. Because I may be poor, and I may be a common folk, tending the earth and groveling to get by, but I have dignity where it counts, and when I wake up I know it is as a good person. Can you say the same?”

“You call my Uncle evil and now you say the same to me,” Frank states.

“I’m proud of you for picking that much up,” Gerard says. “My friend thinks I’m supposed to keep an open mind about you. He thinks that even though you’re royalty, you can be pure of heart, and kind. I’d like to believe it, but I don’t think you’re capable of it. I think your family is toxic to its descendants and to its people. I know you look down on me in pity, thinking me less for the amount of money I have to my name, but in the end, I’m not the one who should be looked down upon.”

“I really could have you hanged for these treasonous words,” Frank says.

“Go on then,” Gerard says, “I dare you.”

“I don’t want to give you the idea that you’re right about me.”

“Am I not?”

“No, you’re way off. You haven’t got a clue what I’m made of. You don’t know me as well as you think you do,” Frank says. 

“I don’t?” Gerard asks, “And I suppose you think you can convince me you’re someone entirely different?”

“I think you would see that of me if you did not look at me with a mind already made,” Frank says. “You may think these things of my family, of my Uncle, and dare I say it, there may be a glimmer of truth in what you say, but that doesn’t change that you are one stubborn little shit.”

“Did the Prince seriously just call me that?” Gerard asks.

“I’ll say it again,” Frank says.

“Don’t bother,” Gerard says, shaking his head and smiling. He’s not sure how long he’s been stood here. He doesn’t have the will to move his feet. Frank hasn’t told him to stay put, but it’s almost like his own mind is the one who ordered him.

“I don’t know why I don’t punch you in the face,” Frank says, “I mean, you’ve earned it.”

“Even I can’t deny that I probably have,” Gerard shrugs.

“But I don’t want to do that. I don’t know, I don’t dislike you as much as I should. I like your confidence.”

“Well thank god it came across as confidence and not sheer disgust.”

“Disgust at me?” 

“Disgust at the state of this world. Maybe you are not to blame, but your family is,” Gerard says.

“And what do you think of me then?” 

“What?” Gerard asks.

“Go on. If you had to say what you really thought of me. Beyond your blind hatred of me, what do you think I am? Do you think I’m genuinely apathetic of you or of everything, or do you think maybe you were a little harsh in your judgement?”

“I don’t know you,” Gerard says, “I’m merely looking in on a mind that’s already been twisted in whatever way it has.”

“But you don’t know if it’s good or bad.”

“I don’t, you’re right, but I don’t have much hope.”

“Tell me then, is there anything remotely good about me?” 

Gerard thinks, knowing he has to say something. The only thing that comes to him is that Frank’s eyes look amazing in this light, and he doesn’t know why on earth he would even notice a thing like that.

“You have... okay hair.”

Frank actually snorts, actually makes a snorting sound and then starts laughing at Gerard, and Gerard is both unimpressed and kind of embarrassed.

“So my personality is shit, but my hair isn’t too bad. It’s just okay though? If you’re going to say everything about me is complete crap, could I at least get a more thoughtful assessment of my hair?”

“Fine,” Gerard says, “your hair is slightly better than most people’s hair.”

Frank grins again, “that’s probably the best compliment I’ve ever been given.”

“You don’t get compliments that often then do you?” 

“I said it was the _best_ compliment, I never said it was a _good_ one,” Frank replies. 

“Alright,” Gerard says, finally finding the will to start walking again. 

“Stop! Wait up,” Frank says, and Gerard sighs as his body stops immediately at the words. “You’ve got to let me walk you home.”

“I’ve got to?”

“Well... I mean it’s not an order, but it would be nice of you,” Frank says. Gerard thinks for a second that maybe he isn’t that bad when he says that. Gerard really appreciates not being told what to do, but that doesn’t entirely change that he’s pretty sure Frank is probably a huge dick.

“Why do you need to walk me home?”

“It’s the gentlemanly thing to do,” Frank replies, “your highness.”

Gerard grins to himself. Being called ‘your highness’ does have a slight appeal to it. He’s starting to like the sound of it. 

Gerard’s mind flickers to how unbelievable all of this is. He cannot believe he is actually meeting the Prince, and telling him off like this. How is this possible? Why is he not dead already for it? Patrick is literally not going to believe any of this when Gerard tells him tomorrow. 

“You know what, there is actually something I’d like you to do when I get home.”

“And what is that?” Frank asks.

“I have this stepsister problem,” Gerard says, “and uh, well, long story short, my stepsisters are in love with you.”

“They’re what?” Frank asks. 

“Irrevocably in love with you. They think you’re quite the looker,” Gerard says, almost laughing at his own words and how dumb they sound to him.

“Oh,” Frank says, “Well that’s... that’s, I don’t know. That seems wildly undesirable.”

“Ah, but they’re the co-presidents of your fan club,” Gerard snickers, “I’m fairly sure Hattie has a poster of you on her door, or my door, or never mind.”

“That seems even more unpleasant,” Frank says, “I don’t like the whole swooning girls and fanaticism thing. 

“Oh my, save it,” Gerard says, rolling his eyes, “hundreds of adoring girls who would still marry you if you ran over them with a horse? No way does one protest to that.”

“Trust me, I’m not really one for the screaming, crying, ogling _girls_ ,” he replies.

“Why not?”

“There’s no appeal to it. I don’t like the... well, it’s complicated. How do you feel?”

“Concerning what?” 

“I would think it’s obvious. About your sister’s wild _zeal_ for me.”

“I think it’s disgusting,” Gerard replies.

“That was not my question.”

“Do you mean do I think you’re dreamy?” Gerard asks, incredulous.

Frank shrugs, and says merely, “Well?”

“I don’t know if you noticed this, but I am not a maiden.”

“Is that compulsory?”

“Compulsory of me being in love with you as my stepsisters are? I would think so,” Gerard replies.

“Maybe your thoughts aren’t as radical as I’d given you credit for. Maybe you think very politically, but do you consider the day to day as much as you do the grand scheme?”

“I don’t understand your meaning,” Gerard replies.

“Then it’s unimportant,” Frank replies.

“I disagree,” Gerard says.

“Well it’s too bad, because you have to understand by yourself, it’s not fair if I shove my own thoughts down your throat. I have a feeling that’s something you frown upon most sternly.”

“But I’m asking you,” Gerard asks, “I’m not some weak thing you can choke with words. What do you mean I think too broadly?”

“Just that maybe you consider others more than you do yourself,” Frank says, “and on the outside that sounds grand. To put others before oneself sounds all humble and good, but then you come to the dilemma that you are always putting yourself second.”

“I do not need a lesson in self-appreciation from one who appreciates himself too much,” Gerard says.

“Alright, maybe not, but consider making thinking yourself through more thoroughly.”

“And what is it that you want me to be searching for in this self-evaluation you propose?”

“You’ll know it when you find it,” Frank replies.

“Alright, Mr. Cryptic,” Gerard says shaking his head. He doesn’t understand Frank for one second. It’s not an exaggeration to say that they are truly from two different worlds. Most extremely, Gerard doesn’t understand what on earth Frank is talking about. That makes two of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [](http://i1291.photobucket.com/albums/b545/Sexy_Bread_Tin/Tmoc_zpsfrle0gky.png)  
>  Check out this gorgeous fanart by the equally gorgeous [kittycatriona.](http://kittycatriona.tumblr.com)


	6. Soup

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The tale of Mittens.

Gerard simply doesn’t understand what it is about this dumbass that is making him think that he’s not a shitty person, but whatever it is, it needs to stop. The fact that Frank is bouncy and giggly makes him feel like someone is playing a practical joke on him. No one should be this personable and real when they’re royalty. No one can even _be_ possibly this nice when they’re royalty. It’s infuriating. Gerard hates him. He hates Frank because of the fact that Frank is too nice.

Ten minutes ago Gerard had been chewing him out for having awful political practices but now they’re discussing bread making and Gerard doesn’t even know why the Prince knows how to make a loaf of bread? He’s the Prince, he lives in a castle, surely they have people for that. 

“I just don’t think that I should be ignorant of how to do things just because I may not have to do them,” Frank shrugs, “I mean, yes, it is one thing to have people make it for you, but it’s more interesting to know what’s behind it. Also it’s pretty nifty.”

“Bread? Nifty?”

“Well, the way it rises,” Frank says.

“Why does it matter?” Gerard asks.

“Well it’s just not something that you can fully understand if you’ve never actually made bread.”

“I don’t understand you.”

“See! Maybe I am more multifaceted than you gave me credit for,” Frank replies smiling.

“Well, I’ll never know.”

“But it’s still kind of unfair that you know so much about me, and I know so little about you,” Frank says, and Gerard stares at the ground, because somehow it’s easier on his stomach not to look directly at Frank. He’s seriously not sure what on earth is going on with him, he might be getting sick or something, but all of a sudden, his stomach keeps jumping around and making him feel completely alien to his own body. The weird thing is that it’s not exactly unpleasant. 

“And how would you like to correct that then?” 

“Just tell me something about you, or about someone you know or anything. Balance the inequality,” Frank replies.

“You wanna balance the inequality than maybe you should start with giving me some of your unending wealth.”

“Uh,” Frank says, digging through his pocket, “all I have on me is a funny shaped rock, and a bit of old fabric.”

“I’ll take the rock,” Gerard says, holding his hand out. “Oh my god, like it looks like a horseshoe.”

“I know right,” Frank says, “it was really special to me, but you can have it. That’s all the wealth I have to offer.”

“What an awful thing to say,” Gerard shakes his head.

“How was that awful? What?”

“You said something really sweet and it pisses me off.”

“That completely makes sense,” Frank nods, “I mean, if ‘sense’ means that I don’t understand what you just said at all, and now I’m questioning all of existence, than it makes complete sense.”

“Well there’s your first class on me then, because I never make any sense.”

“Okay, do I get anything else?”

“You can have two questions for the cool shaped rock,” Gerard says, “Money will earn you more questions.”

“You’ve prostituted yourself out just so I get to know more about you?” 

“Precisely,” Gerard says. “I need to pay the taxes that you keep raising.”

“I have never raised a single tax,” Frank says, “I barely know what a tax is. That would all be my Uncle’s doing.”

“That’s reassuring. But anyway, give me your first question.” To be fair, Gerard doesn’t know that much about taxes either, but he doesn’t have to prove himself to Frank, it’s not like he’s going to be given a test. 

“Oh my god, I only have two, what do I start with?” Frank starts looking around at the trees and at the sky above him like they’re going to give him some idea as to what to ask. Gerard doesn’t care enough to offer a suggestion. That’s not true. For some reason he cares too much. That is precisely why he says nothing and can’t help but make an extremely transparent face that he hides by looking anywhere but at Frank. 

“That’s your problem,” Gerard shrugs.

“Okay, let’s start with, tell me about your family.”

“Too broad a question, you need a hell of a lot more than just a rock for that,” Gerard says.

“Okay, tell me about your favorite person.”

“Uh, Ray, probably.”

“Tell me about Ray?”

“Ray is a fairy, he lives with us, and he’s basically like my only real parent, and he’s a friend. I mean he’s just this weird guy who has always been there and he, well, he doesn’t really need to be there, but I would never have him go, and yeah...”

“For your favorite person, you don’t seem to have a lot to say about him,” Frank says.

“I don’t know, I literally just met you,” Gerard says. “That’s the most I can say about the guy to someone I don’t know.”

“Makes sense. My second question then is, who is this important someone you lost to a lake?”

“What? Oh, I had a teddy bear when I was really young,” Gerard says, sighing, “And we went to a lake once, and oh man, Mittens just floated away. Well he didn’t float, he kind of sank.”

“So you compared my father’s death earlier to a teddy bear.”

“Yeah well you’re family consists of serial murderers under the guise of keeping the peace so I think we kind of even out.”

“You have a knack for guilt tripping,” Frank states.

“You gave me a rock and told me it was special. You said that about a fucking rock, I mean I think the both of us are guilty of guilt tripping.”

“Touché.”

“Well anyway, it’s good you’re out of questions,” Gerard says, pointing to a house only a little ways down the road, “that’s me.”

“Oh,” Frank says.

“I know, it’s like a broom cupboard in comparison,” Gerard says.

“No, it’s not that. I just kind of enjoyed talking to you. I don’t expect you to feel the same, you hate me after all.”

“Yeah,” Gerard nods, “but at least you’re not as big of a dick as I’d been giving you credit for. And I got cool ass rock out of this exchange.”

“Lucky me,” Frank says. “So about your sisters...”

“Nah, leave it,” Gerard shakes his head, “if they see you they’ll chase you up and down the town for the rest of the night. Best not let them get a glimpse of you.”

“So this is goodbye?” Frank asks him.

“Well, yeah,” Gerard replies.

“Will you be at the thing tomorrow?”

“What thing?” Gerard asks, hoping that if he pretends not to know he can somehow worm his way out of going. He doesn’t have any reasoning to back that logic, but he’s not think well right now.

“I’m like, well, the reason I’m in town is because, I’m uh, going around the kingdom, to basically just get the peoples approval,” Frank says, “So I’m going to be here until tomorrow, and then we’re leaving, and you should come see me.”

“I’m busy,” Gerard says.

“Oh,” Frank replies, “That’s a shame. I really could’ve tried to make you hate me less.”

“No can do,” Gerard replies, “but you made a valiant effort. I’ll give you that much at least.”

“But you still hate me?” 

“Maybe not as a person, but I don’t know if I agree with you.”

“That’s better than nothing I guess,” Frank says. 

Gerard, deciding there’s really nothing putting off leaving any longer, decides that he’d better walk away now before Frank gets him wrapped up in something else that’s going to make Gerard hate him less and less. 

“I still hope to see you again sometime, Gerard,” Frank says, “or, I mean, your highness.”

Gerard grins to himself, biting his lip and resisting the temptation to turn around and glance back at him. Frank really is a good looking guy, and Gerard doesn’t know why his brain wants to acknowledge that. He’s a guy. Why on earth should Gerard be allowed or even capable of thinking him to be good looking? This is precisely why Gerard doesn’t turn around or even say anything else as a goodbye. Enough is enough. He has to get the hell away from Frank before he says something stupid.

Gerard walks slowly up the path to his house. Finally feeling the emptiness of his stomach. He hadn’t realized how long he was out while he was talking with Frank, but now he starts to realize that it’s almost dark. The sun only has a few minutes left before it completely sets. He’s not sure what he’s going to do once he gets inside. Tell Ray? Brag about it to Hattie and Olive? Go up to his room and let it sink in what just happened for another ten hours? 

When Gerard does eventually open the door and walk into the house he can smell that someone’s cooking. He would be willing to bet everything he doesn’t own that Buggy, nor her daughters know how to cook. So when he enters the kitchen, he’s not surprised to see Ray standing there making a face. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“They said the soup was too wet,” Ray replies. 

“They said what?”

“Too wet,” Ray replies, “too wet, Gerard. The soup is too wet. The Soup. Too wet. _Soup_.”

“Do they mean too brothy?” Gerard asks.

“No, I asked them, they said it had the right amount of broth, but it was still too wet. The soup, Gerard, the soup.”

“Yeah, I heard you.”

“I don’t know what to do,” Ray says.

“Did you save any?” Gerard asks, “Sorry I’m so late, I got... caught up with other things.”

“Uh, well it depends,” Ray says.

“Depends on what?”

“I’ve only got enough for you if you agree to tell me what’s got you smiling like that,” he replies, and Gerard forgot how bad he was at covering up the way he feels. Gerard is a very bad liar, and he’s very bad at making his face empty, so usually, everyone in the room knows what he’s thinking at all hours of the day.

“It’s... you’re not going to believe me,” Gerard says, watching Ray grab a bowl and start to get him some food.

“Spill, or you don’t get any food,” Ray responds. 

“I know you better than that,” Gerard replies, squinting his eyes. Ray wouldn’t withhold food from Gerard if he’d just stabbed the guy in the shoulder. He’s too nice, sometimes too nice for his own good. 

“Alright fine,” He says, pushing the bowl in front of him and setting the spoon beside it. Gerard doesn’t find the soup to be too wet, but that’s just his opinion.

“You’re still gonna tell me why you look like that though, right?”

“Yeah,” Gerard nods, grappling with how to tell him.

“Spill.”

Gerard sighs, “Ray, I met the fucking Prince.”

“You met the who now?”

“The fucking Prince!” Gerard says, louder.

“Shhhh!” Ray says, then gestures to the doorway, “not with them in the next room, okay?”

Gerard nods, “I’m going to eat upstairs then.”

“I’ll come with you!” Ray says, and they walk as quickly away from the sitting room as they can while Gerard is carrying a bowl of soup.

“Tell me every single last detail that you have to tell,” Ray says to him, and Gerard knows that the order was inadvertent, but he frowns at it anyway. He settles himself down onto his bed, and Ray grabs the chair in the corner of the room, which would be at a desk if the girls hadn’t decided to repossess it as their own. What they intend to do with a desk, Gerard doesn’t know, but he’s sure it involves something creepy and some impossibly attained hairs from the Prince’s head.

“So, well, I mean I was just walking home when I saw this guy had gotten his foot stuck in a trap,” Gerard starts.

“What a dumbass. Please don’t tell me that was our Prince,” Ray asks, looking scared.

“It was.”

“We’re fucked,” Ray replies.

“No that’s what surprised me,” Gerard says. “I mean, he was still Edgar’s nephew, but like, as a person, he wasn’t actually that bad.”

“Hattie and Olive are getting to you,” Ray shakes his head.

“No! That’s not it, it wasn’t about his looks, I mean, he doesn’t look bad in person I can tell you that, but he was, like, nice? I still hate him, don’t get me wrong, but I wouldn’t mind him nearly as much as Edgar.”

“Are you trying to tell me he was hunky?”

“Oh my god!” Gerard groans, “He asked the same thing.”

“He asked you what now?”

“He asked me if I thought he was good looking!” Gerard says, “What was that about?”

“You’re too young for that, Gerard,” Ray shakes his head.

“I’m older than the Prince.”

“Maybe _I’m_ just too _old_ for that,” Ray shakes his head.

“Too old for what?” Gerard asks, “He’s a guy.”

“Oh you’re so naïve,” Ray shakes his head. “I’m going to bed.”

“It’s like six o’clock.”

“I’m going to bed!” Ray replies. 

“At six o’clock?” 

“Gotta wake up early!” He calls back as he leaves the room.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” 

“So tired!” Ray shouts.

“Fuck you!”

“Fuck you too,” Ray shouts back, and Gerard, resignedly sets his bowl on the ground before falling back into bed and wondering how on earth he is going to get out of going to the event tomorrow. And also how on earth he is going to get those piercing brown eyes Frank had out of his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a good chance that this is going to be the last chapter if I can't drum up enough attention to make it worth continuing.


	7. Clueless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gerard doesn't know anything about anything.

Gerard is woken up by the sound of two very loud, very shrill, screaming girls. His first instinct is that the house is on fire which is really unfortunate because they have no money and would therefore be homeless, but then he realizes that Olive just borrowed Hattie’s makeup, so it’s morning as usual.

Gerard’s body says it’s too early to wake up, but he knows it’s probably later than he wants it to be, and that sucks. He wants to go back to bed and sleep for another several hours but he’s got shit to try to get out of. Also, he’s tried sleeping through his responsibilities before and he ended up sleepwalking while practicing the flute that he was neglecting to practice, which is as odd a thing for one to be woken up by as anything else. 

He often finds his body doing things his brain tells him he doesn’t want to do. When someone orders him, it’s kind of like he’s a puppet. He has full control of his mind and voice, but he doesn’t always have control of his body. If he resists something, it makes him feel like he’s about to puke his guts out. He gets sweaty, his stomach wrings, and his vision gets blurry. Gerard has no choice in being told what to do, and if he tries to disobey, he gets sick. His life is awfully shitty. He doesn’t know how anyone could look upon it and see it as a gift. 

Gerard nevertheless pulls himself out of bed, and looks around his room that’s not his room somberly. He doesn’t want to be in here any longer than he has to, so he dresses quickly. He unconsciously makes the decision to dress nicely. He doesn’t know if he’s going to escape Patrick this afternoon, but on the off chance that he does see Frank and Frank sees him back, he would very much like not to be dressed like a farm boy. It’s not that he cares what Frank thinks, or at least he tries telling himself that, he just wants to appear better than a poor little boy in rags.

Gerard stumbles out of his room, he makes his way downstairs where he sees that the girls are now arguing with Buggy, and she is, as always, taking Hattie’s side. Honestly, if she weren’t such a pretentious asshole, Gerard would feel bad for Olive sometimes. The way her mom and her sister treat her is gross, but the fact that she reflects that disgusting behavior back on everyone else means that she lost the right to have Gerard’s pity before he even considered giving it away. 

Ray hands Gerard an apple as he stands in the door frame chewing on a piece of bread, watching the two of them like they’re the most interesting play he’s ever seen. He’s mesmerized by the red blotchy colors of their faces as they all scream at each other. Gerard shrugs, and decides not to question it as he takes a bite of the apple, startled by how entranced in their own argument they are to not see Ray and him watching the scene unfold. The crisp sound as he bites into the apple is almost inaudible over their shrieking. Gerard wants to get away from them. 

He catches quite a few words on the topic of how Hattie needs to look gorgeous for her future husband. Gerard rolls his eyes. She has no idea. The Prince is too good for her. Gerard can’t believe he’s saying that about the guy, because he hates him, or at least he wants to, but it’s true. The Prince is far too good for Hattie. He’s too good for a lot of the girls Gerard knows. 

Gerard doesn’t know what the girls in other towns are like, but prospects are not bright on his own future, or the Princes. He’s probably going to end up with some whiney girl like his sister, because in his eyes, no girl, or really any person at all, could ever live up to the image his mother set for him. She was as perfect as perfect can get. Maybe Michael would’ve been just like her.

Gerard depresses himself with this, and decides he’d better head off. It’s not a short walk and he needs to think through what it is he plans to say to Patrick to try to get him to say they don’t have to go. Anything he can do to get Patrick to retract his order, that’s all he needs. 

“See you later,” Gerard says, and Ray barely acknowledges him before turning his attention back to the drama unfolding.

Gerard makes his way out of the house, glad to be out of it. The day is starting to look kind of dreary, no sun to be seen with grey clouds coming in, on an almost white sky. Maybe the event will be rained out. Then Gerard won’t have to make excuses. Gerard looks at the road as he starts walking, remembering being here with the Prince yesterday. It seems so surreal now that he’s not there. It’s just a shadow, not even real to Gerard’s mind.

He walks quicker than he had yesterday, he has more determination to get to where he wants to go. The sky isn’t getting any brighter as he walks the few miles to town. The ground isn’t soft so it can’t have rained last night while Gerard was asleep, but it looks like it might rain soon and that’s really going to mess with his shoes. He tries not to think about that. 

The walk is mindless to him, because everything seems different knowing that the Prince, the person who has more power over almost anyone in this entire kingdom, has walked along this same path. The Prince knows where Gerard lives. The Prince could easily have Gerard executed for the shit he said yesterday. Had it been Edgar, Gerard wouldn’t have gotten to see the sunset. Right now he’s getting a sunrise that he probably wouldn’t be given under some other royalty. That says something about Frank, Gerard’s just not sure what. 

Gerard also can’t believe that his internal voice has started calling the actual fucking Prince, who actually is royalty, Frank. The name seems weird to him. It’s the Prince. He’s not _Frank_. That’s far too familiar a thing to say to someone who literally will rule the kingdom someday. What’s more is that Gerard got the actual fucking Prince to call him Your Highness. Multiple times. 

It was a crazy day. He hopes it doesn’t get any crazier. 

He’s delusional. 

Gerard enters town after it’s awoken, so most people are already out and about. He has to dodge more people than usual, because he usually comes here in the morning and leaves in the evening. Being here during the throng of rowdiness isn’t completely new, but he doesn’t like it, and avoids it for this specific reason.

The fountain in the middle of town where he’s meeting Patrick is boring at best. It’s too small, it’s too old, and it’s too fallen apart to be anything but an eyesore. Gerard thinks they should get rid of the whole thing. 

When he gets there, Patrick is already sitting, looking down at it and Gerard just knows he’s thinking about scooping up some of the coins in there. See, it’s not even a wishing fountain, but people throw their money away and wish for shit anyway. If Patrick weren’t so honest, he could probably move his family into a mansion. Anybody could really, but the lady who lives across from the fountain is a witch of a woman who would not think twice about disemboweling any would-be thieves. 

“Hey Gerard,” Patrick says, standing up quickly, looking relieved at his arrival. People are talking about him, they don’t make it hard to figure out. It’s about as conspicuous as can be. It’s Gerard’s fault, and he knows that, but Patrick’s all he has. Patrick is his only friend who isn’t Ray, and therefor obligated to be there for him. Patrick has a huge choice in it, and Gerard’s too selfish to push him away, even for his own good.

“You’re not going to believe the shit I have to tell you,” Gerard says.

“Is it good?” Patrick asks.

“It’s really good,” Gerard replies.

“Oh, well in that case, let’s go somewhere that isn’t surrounded by thirty people trying to hear everything we say,” Patrick says, and Gerard agrees. “How big is this stuff you have to tell me?”

“Picture the moon,” Gerard says, “and like, it’s a little smaller than that, because the moon is really fucking important and I don’t want to disrespect it.”

“I can’t wait much longer, lay it on me Gerard.”

“Okay so you know Frank?” Gerard asks.

“The Prince? Yes, I am aware of him.”

“I met him.”

“Met who?”

“Frank!”

“The Prince?” Patrick asks.

“Yes, that’s who I met.”

“You met the Prince?” Patrick asks, looking extremely suspicious. 

“I’m not lying!” Gerard says, sensing that Patrick doesn’t believe him. To be fair, Gerard wouldn’t believe himself either.

“Okay, sure, Gerard,” Patrick says.

“I’m not kidding. He’s like, I mean, I don’t know what to tell you. He’s nice... he’s still a jerk, but he’s a nice jerk.”

“Does he also ride a unicorn?” Patrick asks and Gerard, because he’s a good friend, hits him in the arm. 

“Patrick, I’m telling you the truth,” Gerard says. “He gave me this rock.”

“The Prince gave you a rock?” Patrick asks, eyebrows raised as Gerard hands him the rock. He doesn’t even remember putting it in his pocket. He doesn’t know why he would’ve done that. “So the Prince, master of all the riches in this entire kingdom, who probably sleeps on a bed of diamonds and gold, gave you a rock.”

“Yeah, he gave me a rock,” Gerard says.

“Okay, so like, I want to believe you, because you look all serious, but you know I can’t, right?” Patrick says.

“I’m not lying! This is true, I promise. I met him. He, well, okay so I was walking home, and I ran into him and he needed some help, so I helped him out. And then he walked me home. I gave him my book, and told him he should read it because it exposes all the shit that Edgar’s done, and he was super defensive about it, but he still didn’t seem to be that.... well he could’ve done much worse. He kept saying that he could have me executed and I mean, I said way too much, I shouldn’t have said the shit I said to him, but I did day it. But the point is, yeah, I met the Prince and I think he’s not actually that bad, but he could have been better too. All in all, I think he’ll be a much better King than Edgar.”

“Prove it,” Patrick says.

“Prove what?”

“Prove you met Frank,” he replies.

“How am I supposed to do that?”

“I don’t know, but I literally can’t believe you,” Patrick says. “I mean, it’s kind of hard to believe, isn’t it? The _Prince_?”

“Patrick, I promise. I wouldn’t lie to you!” Gerard says, “Honestly!”

Patrick stares at Gerard for a few seconds before sighing, “Alright, for the time being, let’s pretend that you did meet the Prince. What was he like?”

“I told you!” Gerard says, “He wasn’t that bad. He was, well he was royalty, but he didn’t seem as arrogant as you’d expect from someone like him. He seemed... I don’t know, I mean if I didn’t hate him so much I’d think he was nice. He was kind, almost.”

“Oh my god your sisters are starting to get to you,” Patrick sighs.

“Why does everyone keep saying that? Ray and now you. I’m not a fanatic girl like she is, I have a conscious and some sense!”

“Are you sure?” Patrick asks. “How good looking is he?”

“Oh there you go again. Did you and Ray share a playbook or something? Are you reading off the same script?” 

“Gerard, literally every girl we know is in love with him. It’s a valid question.”

“I’m not a girl!” Gerard says.

“You’re also not a flamingo. Do you need to state any more completely irrelevant facts?”

“How is this irrelevant?” Gerard asks, “It seems like a huge deal!”

“Gerard, how stuck in your own head are you? Thinking someone’s attractive doesn’t depend on what gender they are or aren’t.”

“Wait what?” Gerard asks, “No, I don’t wanna talk about this.”

“Gerard-”

“Patrick, I really do not want to talk about this!”

“You’re working your brain into a twist. You’re thinking about things too plainly, Gerard. Humans aren’t as boring as you have convinced yourself that they are.”

“Don’t wanna talk about it,” Gerard groans.

“Whatever,” Patrick shakes his head, “the point is, you think he’s cute.”

“I don’t!”

“We don’t have to talk about it, but that’s what it seems like. I barely believe you met him, but I sure as hell will believe that you did if you admit to thinking he was attractive,” Patrick says.

“I didn’t meet him then.”

Patrick rolls his eyes, not sure how on earth Gerard’s managed to stay this delusional.

“If that’s what you want to pretend is the case, then fine. You didn’t meet him. You don’t think he’s cute. He didn’t give you a weird shaped rock.”

“I like this rock, okay?” Gerard says.

“It’s a cool rock. I mean, it would be cooler if the Prince gave it to you, but since he didn’t it’s only kind of cool.”

“You’re a bitch,” Gerard replies, “Do we have to go to the event though? I don’t want to see him again.”

“Why?” 

“Because I’m afraid that’ll make me hate him less, and I have a certain angsty reputation to uphold, so getting all sympathetic for regality then I’m going to lose my whole dark loner thing, and then what do I have? Image is all I’ve got, dude.”

“I’ll bet you the Prince has to tell himself the same thing, and maybe giving him a chance, since you literally just said that you already think he’s not as bad as you gave him credit for, would be a good idea for the both of you.”

“It’s not like I’m ever going to talk to him again. I’m especially never going to see him again,” Gerard says.

“Yes you are,” Patrick says.

“Please don’t tell me what to do,” Gerard pleads.

“Alright,” Patrick says, “I won’t tell you what to do. But I’ll be really sad if you don’t come with me.”

“You’re going to guilt me with that damn puppy dog face, aren’t you?”

Patrick sticks his lip out, and Gerard isn’t really affected, but he hates being a bitch to Patrick. The guy is too nice for people to walk all over him, and Gerard is also too good a person to say no. 

“Damn it,” Gerard groans, and Patrick smiles back at him victoriously. “I’m slouching the whole time. If the Prince were to see me, he’d know I was lying when I told him I was busy.”

“Why did you tell him you were busy?”

“Because I was... I didn’t know what to say to him. I wasn’t going to tell him that we should hang out again, I mean, I don’t want to see him, I’m terrified of the guy, he can execute me.”

“Sure, but you said he was nice.”

“On the outside, but I don’t have a clue as to what he’s made of.”

“Which is your way of saying that you think he’s pretty but you’re not sure if his head and mind live up to that.”

“I don’t think he was cute! Why do you insist on making this about me thinking he’s... ugh, I just don’t want to think about that.”

“Yeah, get back to me on how you think he looks when you’ve shown the least bit of interest in a girl,” Patrick replies.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“I’m not here to help you figure yourself out, that’s your job,” Patrick says, “I’m just the voice of reason.”

“I don’t know why I keep you around.”

“You’d be bored without me,” Patrick says.

“Whatever. Should we start heading to the thing? Don’t wanna miss out on the chance to see Hattie and Olive weeping over their beloved Prince.”

“Don’t wanna miss out on _you_ weeping over your beloved Prince either,” Patrick says to himself, under his breath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Given the consensus on last chapter, I've decided that I'm going to continue to update this fic, just maybe not very frequently.


	8. Look

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gerard is stubborn.

Gerard likes to think of himself as a good friend. He doesn’t have any friends other than Patrick, but he’s loyal to him, and to him alone. Aside from any threat of actual death, Gerard’s pretty sure he’d move the world for Patrick. Given a situation where death is at hand he doesn’t know what he’d do and would really rather avoid finding out. He’s not really big on the whole near death experience thing. Thus, he avoids anything that might kill him at all costs.

That does not mean that he is not the most belligerent friend a guy could have. He may agree to go to the event that Patrick is dragging him to, but he will not pretend to be happy about it. No, instead, he will mope, keep his head down, and sulk like the loner he really is. 

Patrick wants to be near the front. Gerard wants to be near the back. When they get there, they don’t have the choice to be in the front, so Patrick gets them as close as he can, and that is where they stand as the whole town, and people from some towns over, start to file into the small paddock. Gerard isn’t big on large sums of people, and he’s not big on loud talking either. Basically, if not for Patrick he would be on the ground screaming and crying about too many people.

“How many people here do you think actually care about the Prince’s politics?”

“Seven. Maybe eight,” Patrick replies, “I’m pretty sure his fan club is here. They must have an agreement to rally here.”

“They’re going to try to steal his clothes I just know it,” Gerard replies.

“Let’s hope not,” Patrick says, “the first impression I get of the Prince, I don’t want to be of him undressed, partially or completely so.”

Gerard shrugs. He doesn’t have to comment, so he doesn’t. He doesn’t know what he’d say.

“What are you going to do if he recognizes you?” Patrick asks. “I mean, if you ever met him of course, which you haven’t.”

“I’d burst into flames,” Gerard says.

“Really? Then maybe I do want him to see you. I really do. Could be exciting.”

“You would let me die just to see a bonfire?”

“Depends on the nature of the fire, if it’s a spontaneous one, that sounds amazing, if not, then maybe we can miss out. I’ve lit enough fires myself, they’re not the most interesting things to start up, so trying to light you on fire would just be too arduous.”

“I’m glad you care more about the time it would take than you care about my life.”

“Anytime,” Patrick replies. 

“How long is this going to take? Like will I have enough time to sneak into my old room and steal Hattie’s diary or am I going to have to wait until tomorrow? I really need the juicy details as to how she adores the Prince so. She’s a real poet you know, she knows at least fifty whole words.”

“Your hate of your sister is all that gets me through the day you know. Well that and the prospect of leaving this place as soon as I can. Maybe you can use your in with the Prince to get me a job in the castle.”

“Yeah he and I are real tight. He gave me a rock and everything.”

Patrick rolls his eyes, “Nothing sounds more amazing than washing the Prince’s dirty dishes. What a life.”

“Please tell me that was sarcasm and you don’t have an obscene dish fetish,” Gerard says.

“You’re so smart.”

“You’re a bitch,” Gerard responds.

“Oh I’ve spotted them,” Patrick says, and he points to somewhere behind Gerard. He turns to see Hattie and Olive wearing two of the most stunningly awful dresses that he has ever seen. He knows that they’re meant to be fancy and look better than ordinary dresses, but they come across as gaudy. 

Gerard doesn’t know all that much about the Prince, but you would seriously have to be blind to find either of them attractive. Mostly the problem is that they’re both wearing more makeup than a clown. 

“Oh my,” Gerard says, “Is the travelling circus in town?”

“There’s more of them!” Patrick says pointing to even more girls, all dressed as pompously as the other two. They’re making his stomach sick just to look at. The poor Prince. 

“Well... at least the guy is a dick,” Gerard says, “because otherwise that would be sad.”

“You don’t even think that,” Patrick says, “you like him.”

“No I don’t.”

“Not like that,” Patrick says, “well, a little bit like that but, I just mean that I know you don’t hate him as much as you’re trying to convince yourself you do.”

“Don’t lecture me on how I feel, my feelings are for _my_ head.”

“Whatever,” Patrick says. The two of them bicker for another ten minutes or so, until the place starts to burst with too many people all talking way too loud, and scaring all the animals away. It’s not that Gerard really wants everyone around him to be attacked by birds or anything, but he really wishes there weren’t so many people around them. You know there’s too many people when all the birds get scared away by the noise.

“Well he certainly isn’t punctual,” Gerard says. He’s just annoyed that he has to be here at all, and the fact that the Prince isn’t here is what’s pissing him off. 

“You’re so harsh,” Patrick replies, “what is it about him that’s got you insisting he’s the devil?”

“His lineage.”

“Okay correct me if I’m wrong, but his father was one of the best Kings we ever had. He was an amazing man. It’s his Uncle you don’t like, Gerard. You can’t reflect your opinion of Frank on a man who didn’t even raise him. That makes no sense.”

“When have I ever made sense? Let me blindly hate him, alright!”

“You and your hatred,” Patrick says, “I don’t know how you manage to keep your head above water with how much you hate everything.”

“Well see, the difference between you and me is that I am not made out of maple syrup, nor do I melt away in the rain,” Gerard says.

“Are you trying to insult me by saying I’m too nice?” Patrick asks.

“Did it work?”

“It depends on what the intended outcome was.”

“Well-” Gerard starts before Patrick silences him quickly with a hiss, because there’s the fucking Prince standing up on the stage where normally you can find an ongoing puppet show. Gerard finds it amusing that the guy is now standing on a stage where most people who stand there are ones with hands up their ass. 

“Oh wow,” Patrick whispers, “I understand now why everyone fawns all over him.”

“Give it up,” Gerard groans, ducking his head down. He doesn’t want to look at the Prince. He doesn’t want the Prince to see him. He just wants to not hear the guy at all, or acknowledge his existence. What Gerard wouldn’t give to be anywhere else but here.

“No, seriously,” Patrick says. “I understand your sisters now.”

“I don’t.”

“Okay, maybe not fundamentally, but I do understand this.”

“You’re-” Gerard doesn’t get a chance to tell him what he is because Patrick interrupts him before he gets to. The Prince is speaking apparently, and it’s too important to miss.

“Uh, hi?” is the Prince’s long-awaited epic opening. 

“Not the most gifted wordsmith,” Gerard notes, and Patrick elbows him. 

“So I’m Frank,” he says, and what follows is what can only be described like a banshee like noise as several girls in the audience react the way Gerard would normally associate with oncoming death. There’s screaming, crying, and one girl surely must be slowly dying, there’s no other reason to make that awful noise.

“Kill me now.”

“I, uh, don’t know how to do this,” Frank says. 

“Idiot,” Gerard whispers to himself.

“Why are you screaming?” Frank asks, and he is answered with more screaming.

“Please don’t,” Frank says in response, “I’m too young to be deaf.”

Gerard grins, because that is exactly how he feels about the manner too. He can actually pinpoint the screams of his sisters. He’s known them for about a month and yet he’s already familiarized himself with what it sounds like enough to be able to place their individual screams in a crowd of several. His life has been pretty miserable since they moved in, and he is substantially harder of hearing than he had been a year ago. 

“Alright, so it’s come to my attention very recently that I’m not well liked by some people,” Frank says, and Gerard actually blushes as he stares down at his shoes. Frank’s talking about him. Or at least, he probably is.

Frank’s devoted audience of girls boos at his words. Frank has to strain his voice just to be heard over the sound of them.

“Honestly, don’t, it’s fine. I mean, I kind of get it. And so, I’ll be honest, I don’t know anything about politics. There’s a dozen people who could do a better job at this ruling thing than me, but there’s this blood thing, and I don’t know. I guess I’m starting to open my eyes a little bit to the fact that I can’t just hide from this stuff. I’ve got to step up, and I don’t know how to do that, but I know that there are some problems that have been cropping up as of late that I’ve been hiding from, and that’s not what makes a good leader.”

“Boy, you really got to him,” Patrick whispers, and Gerard blushes even more, competing with his neck to keep his head down instead of looking up. 

“A good leader knows what’s going on and doesn’t run away from that responsibility like I have been doing, and I don’t know. I’ll be honest, I’m not sure if I’m mature enough to be a real leader yet, and I’m not sure that I know enough about my own kingdom. I’m still pretty much a kid in most ways.”

The girls in Frank’s fan club all simultaneously say ‘aww’ and it makes Gerard gag to himself. 

“Yeah, whatever,” Frank says, and Gerard can almost hear him rolling his eyes, “So, okay, so I met this guy recently who was... well he was a character, I’ll give him that.”

“Oh my,” Patrick says, because apparently he’s part psychic and already knows what the Prince is about to say. 

“And so he kind of just called me a jerk to my face in as many variations that language allows.”

“Oh my,” Patrick repeats, glancing over at Gerard who’s about the color of a tomato right now. Gerard can actually hear his own stepsisters booing. Him. They’re booing him. They’re booing Frank’s words, which can only be about him. 

“That’s not my point, I don’t think he was a bad guy, that’s not at all what I’m trying to say. I think he was, uh, well I can’t say he didn’t speak his mind.”

“Fuck,” Gerard murmurs.

“You really did meet the Prince,” Patrick whispers, astounded. 

“I know.”

“Why I’m saying this is that I’m starting to figure out that I’ve ignored everything I’m supposed to be in charge of for my entire life, and that has left me clueless in the face of actually having to deal with it. I don’t think I could ever be good at any of this if I don’t know what’s going on. Mostly, I’ve been under the illusion until recently that everything was alright and that there was nothing to complain of, and I’m starting to see that’s not the case. I know that I cannot begin to consider myself a good leader until I hear out the people whose lives I’m going to be shaping for good or for ill, and I direly hope it’s not for ill. I don’t know what kind of people my family before me have been, and I’m disappointed to say that, but I don’t. I’m so flagrantly uninformed and I’m going to rectify that. So, the reason this ties into this guy I met is that... well I think I’ve known for a while that I don’t know what I’m doing, but I’ve never felt more ashamed of myself as I had been before I met him. I actually think that’s a good thing.”

“You make quite the impression,” Patrick remarks, and Gerard might actually burst into flames like he said he would.

“I sound like such an awful stuck up guy when I say all of this, I know. I get the inequality. I’m not an idiot to everything, I know that my life is better than other peoples, because to put it simply, I have more money, a better upbringing, assurance that I’m never going to have any real struggles, and that’s not fair. I know it’s not fair, I understand that and I wish I could get rid of this huge divide between me and you, which is why I’m here now, doing this touring thing. I don’t want people to feel like they don’t have a voice. I don’t want that guy calling me an idiot to be something I ignore.” 

“He loves you,” Patrick jokes, and Gerard steps on his foot. 

“Shut up.”

“You can’t silence me, the Prince wouldn’t like that,” Patrick teases, and Gerard steps on his foot again, harder this time.

Frank takes a deep breath before continuing, “I just want people not to think I’m a jerk, and if I achieve that much than maybe I won’t be who some of you think I am. A specific person in particular.”

“Oh my god,” Gerard says, shrinking even further, more terrified than ever of what will happen if he were to look up. 

“You still think he’s a major jerk?”

“No one can change me,” Gerard responds, and he’s doing his best not to acknowledge that he’s the one being a jerk right now. Gerard is rather stubborn, however, and will in general do anything to admit to being wrong. If blindly hating the Prince is what needs to be done for the sake of his pride, well then he will do his best.

“Alright, what I want is to not turn away at what you think. I want to be... well, a good King. I want to be the best. I don’t know how to do that quite yet, but I am willing to learn. I need to know what policies and issues I should be looking at though, which is why I’m here to ask you to please tell me what it is that you want me to do. I have to hear you so that I can start to move in the right direction. I plea with you just to allow me enough of an open mind to give me the opportunity to be what the kingdom we all live in needs. If I live up to be the person I was told I am, I really do deserve to be called a jerk.”

“He always will be,” Gerard says to himself. 

“I don’t say any of this because I think it will help your image of me, I want people to like me, of course I do, but if I don’t earn that from you than I won’t demand it. Well-liked or not, what matters to me is that I know I’ve done the best for my people that I am capable of providing, and if that’s not enough than it’s my fault I couldn’t do better,” Frank sighs, and Gerard can’t help himself anymore. He hates being the only person here who hasn’t even glanced once at the Prince.

Gerard, against his better judgment, looks up. He sees the Prince, and he definitely understands why so many girls are in love with him, though he wouldn’t ever admit it. There’s something about him. It might be partially because the sun is starting to come up from behind the clouds and it quite conveniently shines over Frank like he’s some sort of angel, or it might just be that he’s got these eyes that, even from a distance, could make a person melt. Whatever it is, Gerard hates it inordinately. Except not really.

It’s not a huge crowd who are gathered here to see the Prince, it’s really not, but it’s large enough that the fact that Frank meets Gerard’s eyes only seconds after he looks up throws him off to an extreme. There’s at least a few hundred people around here now and the guy just so happens to look _straight at him_?

The Prince’s face, which a moment before had been sterile and serious, now breaks into a huge grin that causes Patrick to audibly snort out laughter right next to Gerard. From the sheer embarrassment, mixed with the swift beating of Gerard’s heart, and some other emotion that Gerard’s not quite familiar with, all come together to give Gerard the impression that he is never going to be able to fall asleep again. Also, he is going to murder Patrick the second he gets the chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sexy end screen authors note.


	9. Fate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He’s got a serious case of the “no homo”s.

“I cannot believe you said all that!” Patrick says, as Gerard hurries him away from the crowd. The last thing he needs is to be anywhere near the Prince. After hearing his own words out of the guys mouth for an hour, he really can’t bear himself, and wants to be alone. Also, he wants to make sure that he is nowhere near the Prince. He doesn’t want the guy to see him after he kept _staring_ at him the whole goddamn time. Gerard was sure that those eyes were going to burn a whole straight through him.

“I know,” Gerard says. “I have a big mouth.”

“You said that to the _Prince_!”

“Don’t remind me,” Gerard says, sure he will forever be a startling shade of bright pink.

“He was totally into it though. You just happened to mouth off the one person in the kingdom who likes people yelling at him.”

“I did not yell,” Gerard says, walking almost too fast for Patrick to keep up. He’s got shorter legs than Gerard, and especially when Gerard is in a hurry, Patrick is starting to feel the height difference. 

“Slow down,” Patrick says, and Gerard, groaning, complies. He doesn’t have a choice though. “What is up with you?”

“I don’t want him to have a chance to try to find me,” Gerard says, “he kept staring at me. Did you see that! That was weird. I don’t like it, I don’t like people paying attention to me like that. I mean I can accept infamy, infamy is fine, but when someone keeps looking at me like that, I don’t like that.”

“You like it, I know you do, you just don’t know how to accept that so you’re trying to convince yourself that you don’t like the attention.”

“I don’t like anything about him,” Gerard says, “I don’t like anything to do with him.”

“Except his face.”

“Right. Wait what? No!”

“You just admitted to it,” Patrick laughs. 

“Only because you tricked me.”

“I may have, but you still meant it.”

“What kind of person do you think I am? You’ve known me for ten years, Patrick, why on earth do you think I’m like... that.”

“That?” Patrick asks.

“That.”

“What does ‘that’ mean?” 

“I don’t know,” Gerard says, “I just know that I’m not it. I’m not like it. And I also know that you need to get your mind away from this idea that I don’t dislike the Prince. I do, okay? That’s just how it is. I don’t understand why you don’t get that.”

“Sometimes, Gerard, other people know what’s going on better than the actual person, because when it’s your situation, you don’t have as good a vantage point.”

“How do you mean?”

“Well, Gerard, you’re clueless to your own thoughts. You don’t know all that much about yourself,” Patrick responds.

“You don’t know me as well as you think you do.”

Patrick rolls his eyes, and looks around at the quiet of the world around them now that they’re away from the crowd of people. Gerard at least managed to achieve getting away from Frank. He’ll be gone to some other part of the kingdom soon, so Gerard doesn’t really have to worry about him. He’s not sure if that’s a good thing or not. He knows that he should feel glad, but he kind of feels guilty. 

“Did you listen to half of the stuff he said though?” Patrick asks finally. “He seemed so genuine. He really took to heart what you said to him.”

“He was guilt tripping me,” Gerard says.

“Then why did he look so happy to see you?”

“Because he was a jerk.”

“That makes sense.”

“It was to rub it into my face that he’s much better than me or whatever.”

“You don’t actually believe that yourself, do you?” Patrick asks him.

Gerard shrugs, and sighs, looking around. Wherever in the kingdom Frank is going next, surely it’ll be more impressive than this place. Everything here is overgrown. The trees take up most of the land, and all houses are on their last legs, slumping down into their foundations to make this place look as poor as it is. 

“Do you hear that?” Patrick asks, stopping in his tracks.

“Hear what?”

“Screaming?” Patrick says, almost like he’s asking someone other than Gerard. 

“Uh no- actually wait hold on,” Gerard pauses and then realizes that what he’d thought was a bird is the steadily growing sound of screaming.

“So I’m not imagining it,” Patrick says.

“Nope,” Gerard says, “Fuck. Hattie probably found him.”

“That poor boy,” Patrick sighs. 

“Well, serves him right for being a jackass.”

“There’s literally no reason for you to think that about him,” Patrick reminds him.

“You still can’t change me,” Gerard responds, and his heart rate speeds up when he realizes that screaming is getting louder which means...

Gerard doesn’t have enough time to digest what that means because he’s literally being slammed into and toppling over to the ground in a matter of seconds. 

“Oh hi Gerard,” says the person, who Gerard realizes a moment too late is the fucking Prince. 

“What the-”

“Shhhh,” Frank says, “they’re coming.” He says it rather menacingly, but a second later a swarm of girls runs past, and Patrick, who’s just standing there nonchalantly like this is an everyday thing for him, points in the wrong direction. The girls all run the way he’s pointing, and Frank is one lucky bastard because he managed to run into Gerard in the perfect place to crouch and hide from them running past. In total, there’s about ten or fifteen girls, but when they’re all screaming it sounds more like fifty. Also, when they’re chasing you, it doesn’t matter how many there are, they still outnumber you. 

It would be rather comical if Frank hadn’t just kneed Gerard in the thigh and is still practically on top of him. 

“Sorry about this,” Frank says when he decides it’s safe. Gerard is shocked to realize that his face is only inches away from Frank’s. 

“Could you maybe get the fuck off of me?”

“Right, sorry,” Frank says. He awkwardly pulls himself off of Gerard, very nearly kneeing him in a place that would be incredibly painful. When Frank does manage to climb off of him, it leaves Gerard feeling aching pain in a few places. Both his arm and his back hurt from being slammed to the ground as well as his leg where he’s sure he’s going to be bruising.

“So Frank is it,” Patrick says, watching the two of them sort themselves out with sheer amusement. Frank ignores him for a second as he offers Gerard a hand to help him up, which he rejects stubbornly and pulls himself up for himself. 

“Hi, yeah, I’m Frank,” Frank says, turning to look at Patrick for the first time.

“I’m Patrick,” he says, as Gerard starts brushing the dirt off of himself. 

“Nice to meet you. Your Gerard’s friend?”

“That would be me,” Patrick nods.

“Let’s not get too friendly,” Gerard says, looking grumpy. “The guy just ran into me.”

“Yeah, I mean it was an accident,” Frank responds, “I didn’t know you were there, I was just running. But what a coincidence, huh? Met you yesterday, and ran into you today. Literally. Must be fate.”

“I don’t believe in fate,” Gerard says, as he looks disdainfully at Frank.

“Neither do I, but that’s just a thing that people say.”

Gerard rolls his eyes and starts walking away. Not looking at Frank is what he needs right now. 

“No Gerard,” Patrick stops him, grabbing his arm. “That’s the way the girls went. You don’t want to go that way.”

“But going the other way will bring us back to town!” Gerard says, groaning.

“Well, you choose Gerard, the road that leads to town or the road that leads to Hattie,” Patrick prompts.

“Back to town it is then,” Gerard says after deliberating for a moment. 

“Well that’s the best sentiment I’ve heard yet about this infamous Hattie,” Frank says.

“Even Patrick hates her.”

“Hate is a strong word,” Patrick says.

“You still hate her.”

“I’m not fond of her, but I wouldn’t say I _hate_ her.”

Gerard just shakes his head. There is such a thing as too nice, and then there’s one step higher than too nice, and that’s Patrick. Patrick would buy Satan a house if he asked politely enough. 

“So you’re the Prince,” Patrick says, as Gerard walks ahead. Frank grins, walking behind as Gerard does his best to walk ahead of them. He doesn’t know why, but he cannot look at the guy. There’s something about him, it’s very enchanting, and it’s going to confuse Gerard far more than he already is. 

What the hell is it about this guy that’s making Gerard feel so weird around him? It’s not that he’s uncomfortable or scared, but the feeling that he feels is so unfamiliar and strange that it makes him feel that way. There’s just nothing he can do to make himself not feel oddly about Frank, and it’s getting infuriating to deal with. 

“I am.”

“That’s nice isn’t it?” 

“There are worse things.”

“Like this conversation,” Gerard says.

“He’s somewhat of a cynic,” Patrick explains.

“I gathered that much.”

“Yeah, well I kind of assumed you picked up on it. I mean, you spent fifty minutes talking about him.”

“Fifty minutes sounds like a bit of an exaggeration.”

“Were you even there?” Patrick asks him, “Apparently not if you seriously can’t realize you didn’t shut up once about Gerard. I thought the whole point of this thing was for you to let the people in the kingdom know who you were, not to anonymously call Gerard out.”

“I wasn’t calling him out.”

“Alright, fine, let me rephrase. I didn’t know the purpose of that whole speech was for you to express deep _fondness_ for Gerard.”

“Stop talking about me like I’m not here,” Gerard blushes, especially when Frank denies nothing. 

“When you walk ahead like that it’s easy to pretend you’re not there,” Patrick tells him, “that’s just how it is.”

“Why are you even here Frank?” Gerard asks.

“That’s a deep question.”

“No not _cosmically_.”

“I was being chased by girls. You were there!” Frank responds.

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Okay so which question do you want me to answer? I’m here immediately because I was being chased by girls, I’m in town because of campaign reasons, and I’m on this planet because the universe fucked up a little bit and made me. What else do you want?”

“Mostly I just want you to go away.”

“Aw, you two, already bickering like an-” Patrick starts.

“You finish that sentence I push you in a puddle, Patrick,” Gerard says.

“He’s got a serious case of the-”

“Patrick!” Gerard warns again.

“Alright fine,” Patrick sighs, and speeds up to walk in pace with Gerard, which forces Frank to do the same, and makes Gerard feel even more uncomfortable than he already was. At least when Frank was walking behind him it would have been harder for him to look over and see the guy standing right there. Now it’s too easy. He doesn’t want to look at Frank, but it’s so much easier than it had been a moment before. 

“So what did you think of the event though?” Frank asks. “I get that you still hate me, but maybe a little less? No?”

“I still don’t like you,” Gerard says.

“That’s fine, but maybe you hate me just a little less? Like a tiny bit? Just a teeny bit?”

“I still hate you infinitely,” Gerard replies.

“Okay, and infinitely cannot be subtracted upon?”

“Yes.”

“Yes it can, or yes it can’t?”

“I already hate you so much that there’s no room left in me to not hate you,” Gerard says.

“Okay, fair enough. Well, not really, I don’t even get the chance to change your mind, but it’s not my place to tell you how to feel. But maybe there’s something I can offer you? Like a badass twig. That’d be suiting, right, because I already gave you a rock. Next I can give you a leaf.”

“Do you get off on giving insignificant gifts?”

“I sound bad however I answer that question,” Frank says. 

“Should I leave you two alone to sort out your emotions? I’m sensing a lot of bottled up feelings right here. It’s starting to feel like gossip hour in Gerard’s house,” Patrick says.

“I’m seriously going to punch you in the face,” Gerard responds.

“See, bottled up emotions.” 

“How do you two maintain any friendship? Your whole conversation dynamic is based on mutual hate and insults?”

“Your point is?”

“You’ve never had a best friend have you?” Patrick asks. 

“This is something I’m _missing out on_?” Frank asks.

“You poor sheltered child,” Patrick shakes his head.

“I’m starting to feel like this whole town thrives on a superiority complex,” Frank states.

“You put into words what I’ve been saying my whole damn life. I swear these people would drop dead if not for the practice of badmouthing,” Gerard says.

“But the bad news is that you’re talking to the town fools,” Patrick tells Frank. “You’ve lost all credibility just for speaking to us.”

“Maybe the credibility I would earn from these people isn’t worth it.”

Gerard curses to himself when Frank says that, because every goddamn time this guy opens his huge fucking royal mouth, Gerard hates him less and less and it’s getting ridiculous. This asshole, thinking he has the right to be a good person with a great mind when Gerard is trying so hard to hold things against him that he doesn’t deserve. What a dick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What the fuck is a Gerard Way? Please consider commenting, thanks!


	10. Denial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frank is a flirt.

So maybe Patrick is chumming it up with the fucking Prince, and maybe Gerard is obscenely jealous at their ease of conversation. Maybe that’s true. Maybe Gerard is mapping out scenarios in his head where he and Frank have to be really close together like they were when Frank toppled into him. Maybe Gerard is thinking about what it would be like to stare into Frank’s eyes for minutes on end, getting lost in there. Maybe Gerard is wondering what Frank’s hand would feel like in his. Maybe some of those things are true. 

One thing that is definitely true is that Gerard is fuming about it. Gerard is angry with Frank’s face, and how Patrick can talk to him easily, and how Hattie is in love with the guy when Gerard finds him sweet and sincere, and... charming.

Gerard almost snorts out loud at his own thought, because that’s so cliché. Gerard was told the story of Prince Charming so many times as a kid, he can’t actually be thinking this about the actual Prince right now. The Prince is just this nitwitted child who’s been dealt and unfair hand. Gerard is pretty hypocritical thinking of him as a child when there’s less than a three year age difference between them, but he’s angry, and brooding so specificity doesn’t seem important to him right now.

He just knows that he wants to get away from town because everyone is staring at him. Gerard’s life is on display on a good day, but that’s nothing to what it’s like right now. Frank’s fan club are nowhere to be seen, which means that, as they walk through town, no one is flocking up to them and screaming, but that doesn’t mean they’re not staring. Patrick and he will be the talk of the town for months after this, Gerard’s sure of it. Frank is also going to diminish in popularity amongst the minds of several of these people, because he can’t _seriously_ be talking to the town fools. That is so unheard of. No one aside from immediately required people talk to Gerard or Patrick. Their own teacher barely looks their way for fear of catching the loner bug.

It’s kind of ridiculous living in a town where everyone knows your name, and yet all of them think ill of it. 

“You two are quick friends,” Gerard mumbles as he speeds away from the owner of the apothecary, probably plotting what herbs he’d best slip into the Prince’s tea to head him on the straight and narrow. 

“Well, unlike some people I know, I don’t hold grudges against people I’ve never met,” Patrick replies.

“I had met him though,” Gerard says.

“Yeah, _yesterday_ ,” Patrick argues.

“It was a very deep discussion,” Frank says.

“But he went into it already having formed an opinion of you,” Patrick reminds him.

“Not exactly,” Frank says, “he didn’t know who I was when we met.”

“And I hated you when we first met and I didn’t know who you were, so that proves it.”

“You didn’t actually hate me. Surely you thought me a fool, but to say that your loathing runs that deep I think is farfetched to say the least.”

“I was always destined to hate you I suppose.”

“You admitted, you do not believe in destiny,” Frank points out.

“Maybe I do when it comes to this.”

“It seems like your cheap way out of admitting that you were wrong,” Patrick notes.

“You seemed quite taken with me at first,” Frank smiles.

“That must mean something different where you are from,” Gerard says, hurrying his feet when he can see fields ahead which means they’re on the outer brim of town. He doesn’t know when Frank is going to have to leave, but he hopes it will be soon.

“I’ve got to head home,” Patrick says.

“What?” Gerard asks in a panic, “Surely you don’t need to be home so soon.”

“I’ve spent a lot of my day on my feet,” Patrick says, “I think if I were to go with you and have to come all the way back, I might just find my feet to have fallen off.”

“It’s really not that far,” Gerard tries to insist, but the battle is already lost. Patrick has made his mind up. Patrick wants the two of them alone together.

“It’s been nice meeting you, uh, your highness?”

“That’s not my name, that would be Gerard,” Frank says.

Patrick raises an eyebrow at Gerard, who just shakes his head to tell him to forget about it.

“Okay, well, whoever you are then, I hope you get Gerard to admit that he likes you.”

“Nice sentiment,” Frank says as Patrick starts to walk off, and Gerard just curses him quietly. He’s going to be giving Patrick so much shit for that later. 

“Don’t you need to be leaving too?” Gerard asks, “Hopefully.”

“Not quite. I have some time,” Frank smiles at him, “that is, if you don’t mind.”

“I do mind,” Gerard says. 

“Do you want me to leave you here?” Frank asks, “I mean, I could, but I’d... well, it’s just, I’m probably never going to be seeing you again. What’s the harm in talking just until you get home? What kind of Prince would I be if I let you walk all that way alone?”

“The kind I’d like better?” Gerard says, doubting his own words before he makes an exasperated scoffing sound and growls, “fine.”

“Excellent,” Frank grins. 

“I wouldn’t get too happy just yet. I still have to complain about your shitty kingdom to you, you’re simply offering me more time to do so.”

“Go ahead. I’m all ears.”

“What, really?” 

“Absolutely! You’re a marvelous insight to me and my future. I could learn a lot from you,” Frank replies.

“Well, for starters then,” Gerard starts, and goes on to explain how flawed the trading system is between neighboring kingdoms, and he goes at it for at least ten minutes of the near thirty minute walk. 

“I know I have nothing abnormally shaped to offer you, but do you think I could maybe earn myself some more information about you?” Frank asks eventually.

“I enjoy sunsets,” Gerard says.

“That’s true of everyone,” Frank groans.

“You did not specify any further than just ‘information’,” Gerard responds.

“Well, it was implied that I wanted something more in depth than that.”

“Ugh, fine,” Gerard groans, “What is it you wish to hear instead?”

“Well, I was wondering what it was you wanted. From life, I mean. Like, what do you see yourself doing?”

“I...” Gerard pauses, considering, because he’s not sure that he himself knows the answer to that question. “I don’t know.”

“Well, maybe don’t get specific, but what do you want if you had the means?”

“I, well I guess I want to leave Frell. I don’t want to be near people who think of me so infamously. I don’t want to move away from people I love, but I don’t want to stay in a town that suffocates me either.”

“And what would you do elsewhere? What career do you aspire to have?” Frank asks, “I know if it weren’t predetermined for me, I would have a whole set of goals for myself. How about you?”

“I don’t know. How about you tell me. What would you want if you didn’t have to be King?”

“I would wish simply to be, well, in a sense, average. Normal. Little responsibility on my back, aside from the narrow. A kingdom, it’s far too broad, far too huge a responsibility. I would want something smaller, simpler maybe not, but smaller nevertheless.”

“Like what?”

Frank shakes his head and looks at his feet, “you’d think me stupid.”

“No! What is it?” 

Frank shrugs, and avoids looking at Gerard, “simply father. Husband.”

“And what keeps you from that? It’s not out of reach. There’s thousands of girls in this kingdom alone who would say yes in an instant. My sisters for one.”

“There is a world of things preventing me,” Frank frowns, “you wouldn’t understand.”

“Is it a royalty thing?” Gerard asks, mocking.

“Not exactly,” Frank says, “it’s more a perspective issue.”

“Whose perspective?”

“Many people’s perspectives,” Frank responds. 

“That does not clear things up any.”

Frank merely shrugs again.

“Well, is there someone you like?” Gerard asks, not sure why he wants to know. Well, it’s the Prince. The dirty details of his life seem more interesting than anyone else’s in town. Or at least he thinks that’s why he wants to know.

“There’s... someone, I suppose,” Frank says.

Gerard does not feel jealous. He does not. That is not at all what this feeling is inside him like he wants to punch this someone in the face, and tear out their hair. That’s not jealousy. That’s just a strange coincidence.

“Does she know?”

“Definitely not,” Frank says, “I think it would be far clearer to me if they knew.”

“Is there chemistry at least?”

“There is no shortage. If only a closed mind didn’t fester itself so.”

“So what’s stopping you then?” Gerard asks, not sure why he’s giving this dude relationship advice. He wouldn’t even call it advice, it’s more just a discussion in which Gerard’s fists are clenched so tightly that they’re white as snow.

“Pure stupidity, and I promise you it’s not on my end. I don’t doubt that there’s some amount of reciprocation if only they weren’t so fucking blind as not to see it.”

“You’re the Prince though. Whoever this girl is, she’s probably completely incapable of believing someone so powerful could ever like her in anyway. Does she work in the castle then?”

“No,” Frank says.

“Where did you meet her?” Gerard asks. He’s seriously starting to get a little nosy, but this is the Prince. This is some juicy information that he can hang over Hattie and Olive’s heads for all of eternity. Yeah, that must be why he wants this information. It will infuriate his sisters. That’s why he wants to know. There’s no ulterior reason for it.

“We actually met very recently,” Frank says.

“Was it love at first sight?”

“For me at least,” Frank shrugs. “I made an idiot of myself upon first impression, I do not think there was any glimmer of love in that moment aside from in _my_ head.”

“So you make an idiot of yourself when meeting people a lot,” Gerard notes, “When I met you, you had your foot stuck in a trap.”

“Yeah,” Frank says, “freaky coincidence I guess. What about you then?”

“What _about_ me?”

“Well, you got to know far too many details about my love life, do I not get to hear a little about yours. Is there anyone?”

“Not a soul. Not a damn soul.”

“Really?” Frank asks, and Gerard is way too dumb to notice Frank grinning wildly at that.

“I’m not really too popular around here in case you hadn’t noticed.”

“So you and Patrick are just friends?” Frank asks.

“What? I mean, we’re not related or anything?” Gerard responds, seriously misunderstanding the question.

“Okay good,” Frank says. 

“Why is that good?”

“What? No, it’s not. Sorry, I don’t know why I said that.”

“You royals make no sense to me,” Gerard shakes his head, and Frank rolls his eyes. Whoever looks after him has quite a bit of explaining to do with him that has been desperately overlooked. Either that or Gerard is just super oblivious, because Frank would need an extremely large banner to get across that hey, yeah, he’s flirting. Very conspicuously. It’s not even a secret. Gerard is just so thick that he can’t comprehend that anyone would do that, especially royalty, and even more especially, not a girl. Literally everyone else can see it, Patrick can and so can Ray who’s never even seen the Prince. Gerard is an enormous dumbass.

“So you have the whole kingdom to command someday,” Gerard states, “what do you want to do with it?”

“Ideally I’d just leave it off better than when I started reigning. That’ll be enough for me, and someone can go on someday to make it better than me before and so on.”

“Someone?”

“There may be some lineage troubles along the line, but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. For now, just assume that whoever next has the kingdom will be fit enough to better it.”

“Can you...” Gerard pauses, wondering if he’ll sound stupid, but sighing and just continuing on with it anyway, “just entertain me for a moment. Can you tell me what it’s like living in a castle?”

Frank thinks about that for a moment before saying, “It’s simple, I suppose. For me I mean, I don’t question that for others it may be quite difficult, but it’s a considerable amount of pampering. It’s unneeded. It’s exhausting after a while, there is very little to actually _do_. You would think it a busy life, always doing this or that, but it’s not. Being waited on is presumably something many wish for, but it’s very uninteresting after so many years to be treated in such a way. It’s like I’m a different species to the staff. They treat me like, well, like royalty, and I know it’s to be expected, but it just makes me feel different. I don’t enjoy being the guy who walks through a hall or a town that was abuzz a moment earlier and knowing that it quiets down only because of my presence. It sounds cynical to say it’s stifling, but in a sense, it is. You would think being a Prince offers freedom, but what it really gives is alienation.”

“I understand this feeling quite well,” Gerard replies, “in this town, I am the one who makes people quiet down. It feels like needles on your neck, knowing that everyone is talking about you as you pass through. It’s not quite hostility, and yet it’s still antagonistic in a way. It makes you feel dirty, like you need a wash.”

“You do understand,” Frank says, smiling, and blushing when he looks at Gerard. 

“Who’s your best friend in the castle?” Gerard asks.

“I don’t have any.”

“None?” Gerard asks. “No one?”

“No,” Frank shakes his head, “the servants, they’re all wary of my power over them, the cooks all seem indifferent, the knights are few and loyal like no others, but personable they are not. The castle is a cold place that is kept well maintained, but it is only stone and mortar if there’s no one within its halls who I have any ties to.”

“What about your Uncle?” Gerard questions.

“I know how poorly you think of him, but it would be untrue to say that I know much more about him than you. I know of him, I know him on the outside, but to say that I _know_ him is inaccurate. He’s nothing more of a shadow of a man whom I have coexisted with for many years.”

“Your father died many years ago though, who is, or I mean to say, who took the position of father to you?” Gerard asks, thinking someone must have. Gerard, who actually _has_ a father, still wouldn’t consider him a paternal figure. It’s no doubt that Ray is the only one who could ever be considered to be in that place.

“I don’t know, really,” Frank shrugs, “I was ten when he passed. I’ve been distant from most people in general since then. 

“You don’t seem particularly distant with me. In fact, I’d say you’re very clingy.”

Frank laughs softly, and looks above him at the sky like he’s thinking, “you’re different to anyone I’ve ever met. I know many people, though not deeply so, and I know several my own age, aristocratic brats if you ask me, but you are unlike anyone I know, least of all anyone as young as we are.”

Gerard doesn’t blush. He’s just getting kind of cold as they day grows older and his cheeks warm up because of that. It’s not blush.

“I think it’s because you seem very wise. On all points I may not agree with you, but you are still very wise. Smarts are a different story to wisdom, they’re come to in different ways. One can be learned, one is observed, and I do not know how much intelligence you possess, but wisdom you have a surplus of. Maybe it’s because I seldom speak with people of your financial status. I live in the castle, a town surrounded by the wealthy. Poor is a very different word where I am from. In this town, poor has new meanings of which I am still trying to grasp. It gives you more of a story, more interaction with life itself than people I am used to. You have a gleam to you, Gerard, that I do not know how to describe, and it’s very refreshing.”

“You have romanticized my way of life, I believe.”

“It’s not a romantic gleam about you that makes me so fascinated, it’s not even fascination quite, it’s _admiration_ if that makes any sense.”

“It’s ill placed whatever it is.”

“I think differently,” Frank replies.

“I can’t change your mind,” Gerard says.

“Our time is dwindling,” Frank says, recognizing the hill that will soon show Gerard’s house not far off, and he feels desperate for more time. All he wants is just to know more, understand everything there is about Gerard. It’s agonizing to know that he doesn’t have forever. He doesn’t even have another hour. He’s got about five minutes and he’s crazy for wanting the world from Gerard when he barely knows the guy, but he’s so stunning in Frank’s eyes. Like no one else he’s ever met; pure, genuine, fair, and kind, even when he’s trying to be spiteful, he’s still so kind of heart.

“All the better for me,” Gerard says, not sure if he really means it. Actually, he’s quite sure that he doesn’t mean it. 

“Well this will just be a weird little story to tell your grandchildren then,” Frank shrugs. “That time you met the Prince and he was a total idiot with great hair.”

“I think ‘great’ would be overselling the quality of your hair.”

Frank frowns, “I doubt you know anyone with cooler hair though.”

“Ah that’s right, you haven’t met Ray. You wouldn’t be saying that if you’d seen that guy’s hair. I mean, I was raised by a lion, but it’s still a beautiful mane.”

Frank doesn’t know what to say because he’s only got a hundred feet left to go and then it’s goodbye. There’s very little chance that they’ll ever see each other again, and that stabs Frank sharply. He doesn’t know why he’s so bothered by it, but he is. It’s a good thing he barely knows Gerard because if he feels this depressed about leaving a guy he’s talked to for less than two hours in total, then he doesn’t want to imagine how hard it would be if he _really_ knew him. 

“This is goodbye I guess,” Frank says finally. 

“Yeah,” Gerard says.

“It’s been... eye opening getting to know you.”

“I’m taking that as a compliment.”

“That’s how I intended it,” Frank responds, “I hope you’re able to get your sisters off your back.”

“And I hope you don’t run into them and have your hair pulled out by your freakily obsessive fan club.”

“That’s unfortunately a very kind sentiment. I hope to see you again someday, your highness,” Frank says.

“And I hope you don’t fuck up the kingdom,” Gerard says as Frank stops and watches Gerard walk the short way up the path to his front door. Gerard doesn’t look back, because he totally doesn’t have an emotional attachment to that pretty idiot out there at all. No strings are being cut between them, Gerard doesn’t have any attachment at all. That is what his brain tries to convince him at least.

Frank wonders at what point in the next few days it is going to dawn on Gerard that Frank liked him, and how he’s going to react to the realization when it does finally happen. Frank will not be there to see it however, and that only further saddens him. 

Frank is no oracle, nor does he have any blood in him from anyone who was, but still he has this deep feeling inside him he can’t deter that he will someday see Gerard again. 

Little does he know of how soon that someday will be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I asked my fiancée what to write in the authors note today and all she had to say was "fuck wasps." So there you go then, fuck wasps.


	11. Dig

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gerard is devolving.

“You can’t even name one?”

“We live in a town of intolerable people, Patrick, I can’t name a person aside from you or Ray who I would rescue if they were dangling off a cliff.”

Patrick sighs, “Okay, but nobody? There’s not a single girl who you think is even kind of okay?” 

“No,” Gerard says firmly. Really, everyone in this town is pretty scummy in his eyes and they’re all a million times more disgusting as they get older. The only bearable people are the ones who haven’t learned to resent Gerard’s very existence yet. Unfortunately, all girls do dislike Gerard, or at least they’re cautioned for their entire lives to stay away from him.

Gerard isn’t sure how visible his curse is to these people. He doesn’t think he’s been ordered around by half of them, but maybe it’s such a bad aura around him that he repels anyone who comes into contact with him. He’s a social outcast simply by nature, not by any real action on his part. It’s unfair, and it has left him incredibly cynical of the people around him, but he can’t help it. 

Still, Gerard refuses to even kind of reduce himself to their level. He’s not fond of most people in this town but he doesn’t necessarily look down on them inherently because he _can_. Only when you’ve proven yourself unworthy of his respect does Gerard ever decide not to care for what you have to say or think about him. That is, this is his life motto unless royalty is involved, than his stance on the matter is fuck the lot of them. 

“And you wonder why Ray and I tease you about the Prince?” Patrick continues, confusing Gerard, because he’s certain they weren’t talking about the Prince a moment ago. They were talking about girls, not the Prince, and those are two very dissimilar topics if you ask Gerard. 

“Why is the Prince important?” Gerard asks. “It’s been almost a week since he left, when will we be able to get past him, and onto interesting things? Like grass growing, or the consistency of goat milk.”

“Because he’s going to rule the kingdom someday.”

“No, I didn’t mean like that, I meant in this particular conversation.”

“Because you totally liked the guy.”

“I didn’t,” Gerard replies, shaking his head. He’s not sure what’s true, but he doesn’t need to deal with that anymore since he’s never going to see the guy again. It makes things easier. Probably. If he never has the chance to know the guy more than he already does, then Gerard doesn’t have to grapple with how he felt because it’s simply not in the cards anymore. It works for him. Or it has so far. He hasn’t reached a crippling point of existential crisis yet over the guy so he’s really hoping he’ll be able to push that back for as long as he can. That is, if he’s even aware of his oncoming identity crisis at all. 

He hasn’t told Hattie or Olive about the Prince yet. He’s not sure he’s going to. They don’t talk to each other often. Mostly Gerard ignores them and when they speak to him he pretends he can’t hear and walks away. He doesn’t want to acknowledge them any further than that. Just because they live in his house doesn’t mean he has to have any real sort of connection with them. They don’t need him, he doesn’t need them, and meeting the Prince doesn’t intersect those boundaries. 

“You did.”

“Okay, I didn’t. I mean, I don’t like having friends. Well, other than you, but I’m still undecided on how I feel about that. I just don’t think you know how I felt about the guy because if you did, you certainly wouldn’t think I actually _liked_ him.”

“You think I think you liked him like a friend though.”

“I have no idea what you just said,” Gerard says, confused. 

“I never said that I thought you liked him the way you like me, or so to say, completely platonically.”

“You’re heading down a path I don’t want to listen to,” Gerard says, terrified of wherever he’s going with this. He’s also terrified of what it means to him. 

“You can’t avoid this conversation forever,” Patrick groans. Technically though, yes Gerard can. 

“I don’t know what conversation it is you think I’m ignoring, but you’re wrong about whatever it is you’re thinking.”

“Oh my god, Gerard,” Patrick says.

“What?”

“You’re so stupid,” Patrick says.

“Why? What did I do?”

“It’s everything about you, really. And how oblivious you are.”

“Okay, tell me what it is that you think I’m oblivious about?” Gerard requests of him.

Patrick just shrugs and says, “I think you’ll just tell me to stop if I were to tell you what it is that I _know_ about you.”

“When have I ever stopped you from saying something to me?” Gerard asks, and Patrick gives him this look of utter disbelief.

“Well you did that just now,” Patrick says, “Like less than a minute ago.”

“Okay, but other than that.”

“Basically every time I bring up Frank. So at least thirty or forty times in the last week.”

“I don’t think that’s true,” Gerard says, and obviously, he would be wrong.

“Alright fine, but do you want me to actually tell you what it was that I know or do you just want to cut me off once again to live on in ignorance?”

“Ugh,” Gerard sighs exasperatedly and overdramatically, “out with it. You’ve got me waiting on pins and needles over here.”

Patrick says, “Well okay. I don’t think you like the Prince in a platonic way.”

“And you would be right about that,” Gerard interrupts, yet again, so Patrick is expecting it and is already prepared to hit him in the shoulder. “Ow, sorry. Go on.”

“I don’t think you liked the guy in a platonic way at all. And that’s because I think you like him in a different way.”

“What kind of way?” Gerard asks, and Patrick looks at him with the exact same expression of utter disbelief that he had had a moment ago. 

“In a romantic kind of way, Gerard.”

“In a _what_ kind of way?”

“Romantic, Gerard. Sexual even.”

“He’s a guy,” Gerard says.

“I’m aware of that.”

“I am also a guy.”

“I’m aware of that as well,” Patrick confirms. 

“In this equation you have made up in your head, I like him?” Gerard asks.

“Yes,” Patrick says, nodding, and internally rolling his eyes just as much as he can, but he doesn’t actually because then Gerard won’t listen to a word he says. 

“But how does that work?” Gerard asks.

“You’re kidding me, right?” Patrick asks, eyes rolling so far he almost hurts his own head. He actually does hurt it a little bit. But then he recovers and rolls his eyes again just to reiterate how stupid Gerard is. 

“What? No, like how does... is that allowed?”

“Allowed by who?” 

“By anyone. By people?” Gerard asks.

“Is what allowed?” Patrick asks, like he’s talking to a child. But he kind of is in a way. 

“That?” Gerard asks, which is really not helpful. He could specify at the very least.

“What century do you live in?” Patrick asks.

“It’s a valid question!”

“It’s a dumb question,” Patrick corrects. 

“Can you please just answer me?” Gerard pleas. The identity crisis that he was pushing to the back of his brain and pretending he wasn’t going to have now feels like it’s about to rear its head and shit all over his life. In all likelihood, this will happen very shortly, and it will result in many a panic attack. 

“Okay, yes, Gerard, you are allowed to like the Prince. You’re even allowed to like him the way that your stepsisters like him, except maybe not in such a vapid way. You’re not snotty Gerard, but you very much are attracted to the guy on an emotional level, and you must be blind not to be in a physical way too.”

“I don’t though,” Gerard says, “Like I thoroughly dislike him, I think he’s a dick, and he’s gross.”

“So then why were you so interested a moment ago?” Patrick asks.

“I just was. I didn’t know... or well, okay, so I mean I’d thought about that, but it never really occurred to me that... you know what forget about it.”

“Forget about what? I don’t even know what it was you were trying to say just now.”

“Well it was unimportant.”

“Gerard, you’re confusing me,” Patrick says. “You like boys, okay, that’s all I’m trying to say here. Maybe you don’t like Frank, which we both know isn’t true, but I’ll humor you for now if that’s what you want, okay? So what if you don’t like Frank in particular, you like boys in general.”

“I don’t!” Gerard says, a little too loudly. He eyes the door cautiously at that, fearing what would happen if Hattie or Olive were to hear this conversation. He hates their presence more now than he had a month ago, because at first it was funny to make fun of them, now he’s just scared of what might happen if they tell him what to do.

“You do, Gerard,” Patrick says. He’s pushing this too much. Patrick knows he is, and so does Gerard, but Patrick is on a roll here. He might as well do his best because he knows he’s right. He doesn’t think Gerard will be able to accept that for a while, but he still knows himself to be correct. Gerard’s got to figure this out eventually, and Patrick just doesn’t have the time or patience to wait for him to do it by himself.

“I’m not like that!” Gerard insists. 

“It’s not a bad thing.”

“But it’s not a good thing,” Gerard rebuttals. He’s not sure what brings up that idea, but it’s just something that he feels should be true. He doesn’t know if it is or not, but he feels like it probably should be if it isn’t already a written rule somewhere. Boys just shouldn’t like other boys. Gerard is no exception. 

“Why do you think that?”

“What do you mean?” Gerard asks.

Patrick groans, “Why do you think that’s a bad thing?”

“Because it just is.”

“But why?” 

“Is it something that needs explaining?” Gerard questions. He really hopes Patrick lets it go, because Gerard can’t back his statement up. He has no explanation. He just doesn’t know how to say that he’s afraid of every word coming from Patrick’s mouth. It scares him to think that Patrick is so sure of this fact about him that Gerard’s never even considered before.

He still refuses to consider it though. It’s just not acceptable. Gerard can’t want those things, because he simply won’t allow himself to. That’s all he needs to know. He doesn’t want to be, therefor he isn’t. Gerard is fighting a losing battle with himself on that front. 

“Evidently it is, because I don’t understand what you’re talking about. Gerard, I don’t care if you like boys, or if you don’t, or, if you want to run away and elope with an elf, it’s not my place to judge you for that. I’m not judging you when I say what I see, but what I’ve observed is the very presently clear, and quite conspicuous if I do say so, fact that you either like boys in general or Frank in particular.”

“I don’t, Patrick!” Gerard shouts, and he’s definitely pushing it, that was really too loud. Someone must have heard him, he just hopes it isn’t someone who’s going to come meddling.

“Gerard, if you don’t want to admit to it that’s fine, but just know that you’re not fooling me.”

“I’m not trying to fool you,” Gerard says, feeling as though his insides have turned to chalk and are now being churned up to make him feel both numb and nauseous at the same time.

“Good, because you’re not doing a very good job at it if you are,” Patrick says.

“Can we just please stop talking about this,” Gerard asks. Begs, almost.

“You’re seriously that afraid of this?”

“I’m panicking, you really just need to stop or else I’m going to freak the fuck out, okay?” 

Patrick nods, not happy about it, but not wanting to push Gerard over whatever edge he’s teetering off of. Patrick needs to push him a little though otherwise Gerard won’t ever be able to figure any of his emotions out, because as it is, he seems completely clueless to his own feelings. 

At this point, Patrick thinks it’s possible that Gerard genuinely doesn’t know that he feels the way he does about Frank. He might be so completely clueless to it that the thought hasn’t even attempted to cross the realm of possibility in his head. Patrick’s still not given up on the idea that Gerard is pretending not to feel anything, and swallowing down his very real feelings, but this other option is starting to hold some water as well. 

One thing that’s for sure, and it’s something that Patrick’s had a suspicion or two about for years, is that Gerard doesn’t like girls. It was never not obvious. It’s more obvious now, but it was never much of a reach for him. Patrick and Ray, who don’t talk often, usually just small talk or a nod of the head, both have this silent understanding not to bring this up around Gerard, for fear of exactly this reaction. Patrick admits that maybe meddling isn’t a good idea, but _someone_ needs to tell Gerard what’s going on with him. Gerard could remain ignorant forever, and that would just make him miserable. It may hurt now but it will be fairer to Gerard in the end. 

“Can I just ask you why you’re so freaked out by this prospect, Gerard?” Patrick asks, nervous that he’s really pushing the limits here. 

“I’m not like that,” Gerard responds.

“You’re not, or you’re afraid that you are?” Patrick asks.

“We’ve had this conversation before. You were never so blunt.”

“It never looked to me like it was hurting you as much as it is now,” Patrick says, because he _has_ floated this theory by Gerard in more subtle ways before. Gerard was short and choppy with his answers, but he’s never looked more troubled with himself, which is part of the reason why Patrick had to bring it up. Gerard has looked for days like he’s fighting two forces within himself but Patrick knows he can’t have known what those forces were. Instead of letting him continue to spiral downward, Patrick wants to offer him this rope to pull himself from the hole he’s digging around him.

Gerard’s unwavering fear of his own sexuality is killing him from the inside out, and Patrick can’t bear to see him ruin himself anymore. He’s digging a hole with ever steepening walls. As cruel as it seems, pushing Gerard to the limit is the best thing Patrick can do for him.

“I’m just done talking about this okay,” Gerard says.

“You can’t deny forever that you liked the Prince.”

“I didn’t though!”

“If you need to tell yourself that, then fine, but we both know that you liked him. You told yourself not to, but the second you met the Prince, you were already falling for him,” Patrick says. 

Gerard is given the ultimate proof that they’re having this conversation too loudly when the door to his bedroom suddenly bangs open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I intended to update this quicker than I did and I suck for that, but as an explanation, I did attend NerdCon and I did get like ten books signed so at least it was for a good reason.


	12. Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit hits fans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a fun. reference in this chapter. I mean fun. the band I'm not just over-hyping the merit of the reference.

Gerard, frozen in fear, turns to the door to see the two people he hates most in the world standing there looking like Christmas has both come early and been canceled. Their facial expressions are so mixed he doesn’t know which term is more accurate. Both of their mouths are stretched so tight that Gerard’s not even sure if their lips are still there.

“Um, you,” Hattie says to Gerard, pointing at him, and looking like she hasn’t determined yet what she intends to say to him. 

“Gerard,” he says.

“What?” She asks in her pretentious, obviously fake accent that she picked up to make herself look more noble. It doesn’t really work when her threadbare dresses look as shabby and worn as the dish rag in the kitchen. 

“My name is Gerard,” he says, “in case you’ve forgotten.”

“Oh,” Hattie says, while Olive’s steadily tightening brow turns it into one long bushy one instead of two already very bushy ones. She’s standing behind Hattie like some sort of bodyguard, which Hattie most certainly doesn’t need, because no human or animal within one hundred square miles wants anything to do with her. Except maybe to push her off a cliff, but in that case a bodyguard isn’t entirely needed because it would be a mercy to everyone.

“Can I speak with you privately, Gerard?” She asks, looking uncertainly at Patrick. Gerard too eyes Patrick who looks like he just dropped a baby on its head. He looks so guilty and nervous that Gerard doesn’t even know how he hasn’t internally combusted. Patrick probably thinks he’s done something really wrong. Admittedly, he probably has, but Gerard’s not going to hold the guy accountable for it. Gerard can be a stubborn guy sometimes and it’s not Patrick’s fault for getting annoyed with that fact. 

That doesn’t mean that Gerard isn’t still kind of angry with Patrick for saying what it was he was saying a minute ago, but he’s going to set that aside for now seeing as Hattie and Olive may or may not have just overheard Patrick telling Gerard he’s in love with the Prince. 

This is ten shades of not okay, because Hattie and Olive are both in love with the Prince. They both hate or at least dislike Gerard. They both have nothing holding them back from expressing their disapproval of whatever Gerard may do. As far as they know, Gerard likes the guy they both are in love with. Gerard is the same gender as the guy they think he’s in love with. Lastly, Gerard has to do whatever they say. This is a recipe for disaster, and Hattie’s just been given a giant fucking mixing bowl to cook up whatever shit she’s got stewing in that evil little brain of hers. 

“Whatever you have to say can be said in front of Patrick,” Gerard says, hoping he’s not going to regret that later. Really, right now what he needs is moral support. He doesn’t want to be forced into anything, and he feels like, at least with Patrick here, he might have some act of defense. 

“Don’t argue with me, Gerard,” Hattie bites and Gerard feels the order hit him like a brick. That’s going to be inconvenient.

“Fine,” Gerard says.

“Hallway,” Hattie orders, “now.”

Gerard, who literally can’t refuse, does as asked of him. He mumbles something to Patrick, who stays where he is on the floor of Gerard’s room, even by himself there’s still little room on the floor for Gerard to even get to the door, because the room is just that small. 

Patrick stares at him questioningly as Gerard closes the door, and there’s a million unanswered questions that Gerard is leaving behind that door when it faintly clicks shut. The hallway is dark with the sun not making it through the window at the end of the hall where Hattie drags Gerard for some illusion of privacy but obviously Patrick’s going to have his ear pressed to the door. Hattie, apparently smart enough as to realize this actually makes to drag Gerard down the stairs. When he tries to refuse, she tells him not to, so he follows. What else is there for him to do? He can’t disobey an order.

Hattie gets to the bottom of the steps and her face shows a thousand emotions all going through a cycle to determine which one is best suited for this situation. Gerard really wishes Ray were here right now. Gerard doesn’t hear him busying himself around the house so he doesn’t know where he could’ve gotten off to. He’s probably in town. Probably on some useless errand demanded of him from Buggy. Buggy herself is having a lie in which is her way of saying that she won’t be awake until sundown. 

“I don’t even know where to begin,” Hattie says.

“How about with goodbye?” Gerard asks, and she looks at him angrily, turning a steady shade of scarlet. It’s a tragic state of nature that when you’re already ugly to begin with, getting angry makes you look like a very disgruntled radish. Unless your Hattie. Then you look like a disgruntled radish stuck on the other side of somebody’s shoe. 

“Is that meant to be funny.”

“I mean it’s funny if you have the mental capacity to understand that it was meant to be derogative.”

“What?” Olive asks, speaking up which makes Gerard remember that she’s even there. Honestly she’s more of a shadow of Hattie than she is an actual human being, and between the two of them they have the intelligence of Gerard’s finger nail. 

“It was an insult, Olive,” Hattie says, in a turn, snarling at Olive rather than at Gerard which is honestly not new. The poor girl probably gets more verbal abuse thrown her way than Gerard but she’s too dim to see it coming at her.

“Oh,” she says, and it takes her a second to process that ‘insult’ means bad, and then she gets a face like she’s got a bit of rotten egg stuck under her nose.

“Tell us about the Prince,” Hattie says.

“Well he’s the son of the King. That’s typically how that works. He’s not yet the King which is why he’s called the Prince. Someday, if lightning finds itself so unfriendly as not to strike him down, the Prince will be the King. He’ll have kids, they’ll be Prince’s and so on until somebody gets stabbed in the dick, thus ending one reign and beginning a new one.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Forgive me, if you don’t clarify, how am I to know to what you’re referring?” Gerard asks. He may not be allowed to argue, but no one ever said he couldn’t be snarky. 

“That guy,” Hattie says, pointing at the stairs, obviously referring to Patrick, but Gerard plays dumb.

“That’s Olive you dingbat,” Gerard says.

“No, not her,” Hattie groans, and she rubs her temple like she’s stressed from even speaking to Gerard. “The guy in your room.”

“Which one?”

“The guy!” Hattie repeats.

“Still not sure who you’re talking about,” Gerard says, shaking his head.

“Whatever. That guy, he said you were, ugh, I don’t even want to say it,” Hattie says.

“Falling for the Prince,” Olive finishes for her. At least she comes in as some sort of use other than just an animate footstool. 

“Yes well I do tend to fall over when thinking about him. My sheer disdain for that man does that to me. Just a hiccup of my biology, I must assure you now. May I go?”

“That’s not what it meant!” Hattie says, shouting angrily at Gerard’s lack of compliance. “He implied that you _liked_ the Prince.”

“He’s mistaken.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“That’s a shame.”

“You like the Prince,” Hattie spits at him.

“I don’t even know him.”

“You met him, we heard. Everything, we heard it all,” Hattie says, and Gerard’s blood runs cold. How long were they actually behind that door?

“Well you need to pick the wax out of your ears then,” Gerard says, “Because you misheard every word we said.”

“We didn’t,” Olive says defensively and Gerard has this insatiable urge to flick her on the nose and he doesn’t know why. 

“You must’ve.”

“You’re sick,” Hattie says, jabbing her finger at Gerard’s chest, forcing him backward.

“My temperature is solid; I promise you that there’s nothing to worry about.”

“Your mental state is sick, I mean,” Hattie clarifies.

“You’ve no proof of that accusation,” Gerard replies, starting to get defensive. He feels like he’s being backed into a corner. Both figuratively and literally, because Hattie keeps stepping closer and the only place for Gerard to go is the wall. 

“You know you are.”

“I’m not.”

“You met the Prince, and now you’ve gone and fallen for him, haven’t you?”

“No,” Gerard says.

“You have!” She says as if she’s just received a different answer to the one Gerard spoke.

“You think you know me but you don’t,” Gerard says.

“I know you very well right now,” Hattie says confidently, “you’re a pervert.”

“I’m not!”

“It’s in your eyes!”

“Those are called pupils, you fuckwit.” 

“Just tell us the truth!” Hattie says.

“About what?” Gerard asks, but he’s not going to be able repress his own tongue if these two push any further.

“You like the Prince, don’t you?” Hattie asks.

“Yes goddammit,” Gerard says, “so what?”

“That’s gross,” Hattie says.

“So are you,” Gerard replies.

“It’s his fault,” Hattie says, pointing at the stares again. Gerard doesn’t know what grounds she has to blame Patrick but he’s terrified of the road she’s going down. And he has every right to be scared.

“Patrick’s?” Gerard asks.

“I don’t know what he did but he did this to you!” Hattie insists.

“Did what?” Gerard asks, “make me like the Prince? That’s no one’s fault but the fucking Prince’s. That bitch.”

“It’s his fault!”

“It’s not,” Gerard says honestly. Just because Patrick sees right through him doesn’t make it his fault that Gerard is like this. Whatever ‘this’ is.

“I don’t want you talking to him,” Hattie says.

“It’s not his fault, he didn’t do anything.”

“He must have, I know he did.”

“He’s innocent of whatever you’re pinning on him. I’m the one who’s fucked up, not him.”

“I don’t want him in my house!” Hattie yells.

“It was my house first, bitch,” Gerard replies, and this, he decides, was not the right thing to say just now. 

“I want your friend out of this house.”

“I don’t,” Gerard says.

“Tell him to go,” Hattie says, like a slap in the face.

Gerard is panicked to say the least. His heart beats like a bird flapping its wings, and he feels like he’s sinking. He feels like the floor is inching away from him and the ceiling is pulling away too. He feels like he’s being stranded in oblivion and he doesn’t know where to run to get away from it.

“I don’t want to.”

“Do it!” Hattie screams back.

“Why?”

“Because he’s a bad influence.”

“No he’s not,” Gerard says, resisting the urge in his body that’s dragging him to the stairs. He can’t stop it. There’s nothing he can do. Nothing. He can’t stop it. 

It’s the most painful thing in the world to know that you have no say. Having no voice makes life’s purpose seem so far off. It’s a terrible feeling to have to do what your told. It’s a terrible thing to be forced into things. It’s a weight not many can bear, and Gerard sometimes thinks that having to hold it makes him stronger, but he sees now that it makes him so much weaker. 

Strength is not measured by what pain you have suffered. It is not measured by who has the most persistence. It is not measured by biceps, or by anything remotely physical. Strength is measured by those who have the power to speak up. Gerard does not have that power. He has the will, but he doesn’t have the ability. 

“Just tell him to get out of this house,” Hattie demands, “and tell him he’s not allowed back.”

Gerard wants to speak up for himself. He wants to say no, and he wants to be resilient. Gerard doesn’t have that choice though.

“You’re jumping to conclusions!” Gerard pleads, “please be rational. It’s not his fault, blame me.”

“And tell him you don’t want to be his friend,” Olive chips in, and honestly Gerard so wants to punch her in the face. The one time she says something and it’s _that_. This girl just went to the top of Gerard’s list. 

“Tell him that you never want to see him again,” Hattie says, like one final kick to the gut. 

But Gerard doesn’t refuse. He doesn’t even argue. He can’t. He feels his body dragging him up the stairs like his body has a different idea than his mind. 

It’s almost like Gerard’s brain goes blank, and he’s watching a scene from someone else’s life. This isn’t his body. This isn’t his house. These aren’t the steps he walks up and down every day. This isn’t his room that he’s walking into right now, and this isn’t his friend. These aren’t his words. This is all someone else’s life. This just can’t be his. 

Because he wouldn’t be doing these things if this were his life. He wouldn’t say these things that are coming out of his mouth right now if this was his life. He wouldn’t be able to look a person in the eye who he cares for so much and tell them that he never wants to see them again.

Gerard wouldn’t do this to a person. He just wouldn’t. So why is he? Why is it that he can’t stop the words from falling out? Why is it that he’s not in control of his actions? Why is it that what he’s saying is making Patrick’s face fall? Why would _anyone_ say such cruel things?

But Gerard is saying this. He’s telling Patrick he doesn’t want to be his friend. He’s telling him that he never wants to see him again. He’s telling him to get out of the house. And he doesn’t want to say these words. But he can’t stop it. 

“You’re joking,” Patrick says, and Gerard honestly doesn’t know if he’s trying to convince Gerard of that or himself.

“No,” Gerard says. “Get out.”

“Is this all because of what I said about the Prince?” Patrick asks, still not willing to believe him.

“No,” Gerard says, “can you just… make this easier for both of us?”

It’s a tossup as to who’s eyes are pleading more with the other. Gerard doesn’t want Patrick to go and the only thing he has to say that is his mind, because his mouth won’t listen. And at this point, he’s not sure if Patrick would listen either.

“Are you going to tell me why?” 

“I can’t,” Gerard says breathily. 

“Alright fine,” Patrick says, standing up and looking years older than he had a moment ago. “I give up.”

Gerard doesn’t know what Patrick’s giving up on. He doesn’t know if he’s giving up with this conversation, or if he’s giving up on Gerard, but whatever it is he’s giving up on is like a stab in the chest to Gerard. He can feel the knife in his heart, but when he looks at it, it’s not there. He can actually feel the pain and he’s certain of the blade but it doesn’t exist.

And Patrick, he can feel the knife in his back, but it’s as illusive to the eye as Gerard’s. Because the pain that he swears he feels in all in his brain and that fact is what makes it feel a million times worse.

“I’m-” Gerard starts but he doesn’t know. He just doesn’t know what to do. He knows that he needs to be rid of this life or this curse or _something_ and he doesn’t know what. He just needs everything to stop.

Gerard’s got about two good things in his life. He’s got Ray, and he’s got Patrick. That’s it. He doesn’t have wealth, or popularity, or aspiration. He doesn’t have a real family, and he doesn’t have overflowing intelligence. What he’s got is hopelessness. All he’s got is the people who care to be around him. That’s it. 

As Patrick walks by him, Gerard doesn’t even notice because his brain is breaking down bit by bit. It feels like a shattered piece of glass and the pieces are flying everywhere.

All that Gerard is boils down to what he knows, and especially _who_ he knows. He knows so few people in this gigantic world and almost none of them are worth keeping around. He’s bread from a family that’s been separated all his life for one reason or another. He doesn’t know where his heart is or where on a map he falls. He knows so little of anything. All he knows is what he can touch and feel and see.

He knows that life isn’t fair, and he knows that it’s supposed to be but that’s a far off dream in the back of the mind of those too pessimistic to see better. He knows that his life is harder than most. Gerard knows these things, and he understands that life is cruel and hard and all it will ever bring are obstacles.

What Gerard wasn’t aware of is that the world spins only for pain. It spins only to cause hardship and to cause broken hearts, and it spins to ruin lives. It’s not here to create benevolence, nor is it here to create perfection. All earth is made for is tragedy, because they make the best stories.

But Gerard doesn’t want his life to be just another tragedy. He doesn’t need that. He’s lived the tragic bits, he’s had enough of them. His whole life so far has been the mess that people are supposed to have spread out throughout their life, but for Gerard it’s all been clumped together and it’s starting to seem like there’s no relief from that. There’s no escape from drowning in life. 

Life is terminal and he has no choice in it. He doesn’t get to choose what he wants in his, because he’s forced to hear only what others have to say. He’s been born into a world so cruel and spiteful, and it’s been made all the harder with this curse he’s been given. He doesn’t get to choose. He doesn’t get to start over. He has only this one life, and this one mind, and this one voice, and this one heart, and it’s all chipping away steadily.

Life is supposed to have ups and downs. That’s what people tell you. But Gerard’s life is a steadily declining, long, overgrown down. 

Gerard’s got two things in his life that he actually cares for. The second the door slams shut behind him, all he has is one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wrote this whole chapter and then I lost it which is why it took so long, but hopefully it's still okay. Please leave a comment!


	13. Emotion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I did make an "I'm Not Okay" joke in this chapter.

When Ray gets back from his errands, he’s not entirely expecting to find Gerard huddled on the ground of his room crying but then again, it’s not entirely unexpected either. This had to happen sooner or later. With Hattie and Olive being the new menaces of the household, one can expect at least a little bit of existential sorrow heading their way. Ray hadn’t expected it to be soon, but it was inevitable all the same. 

Nevertheless, when he walks up the stairs and hears Gerard weeping to himself behind the door, the door that Ray knows he’s still not comfortable living behind, he knows that shit has happened.

Ray knocks first, and Gerard stops suddenly, like he’s expecting a hurricane to sweep in and carry everything else away. As soon as Ray speaks up to Gerard to inform him that it’s him, and not one of the other three, Gerard seems to have an audible sigh of relief even though a huge hunk of wood stands between the two of them.

“I’m coming in,” Ray says, and Gerard moves out of the way so as not to get squished by the door as it creaks open. So maybe he wouldn’t be smashed but it might ding his elbow and Gerard is in a very fragile state right now so he really doesn’t want to be injured again in any way.

“I’m guessing that something really bad happened?” Ray asks, which deserves a few eye rolls but Gerard seems too lost in his own thoughts to even muster up the energy to do that.

“They made me…” Gerard starts and then he drifts off looking at the wall in front of him like he’s lost in it. Ray closes the door quickly but there’s really not enough room for two people in this tiny little closet of a bedroom, and he doesn’t know how on earth Gerard has managed not to stub his toes enough times for them to just give up and fall off. It seems like a very serious danger in this place. 

“Made you what?” Ray asks, and he lowers himself to his knees but there’s even less room when he does that then there was before. He doesn’t know where else to go so he just resigns to stand against the door in as sympathetic a fashion as he possibly can when Gerard is lying on the floor like he’s just been stabbed. Ray, after quickly assesses to the situation to see that Gerard is not bleeding so thankfully, this is not the case. Though he wouldn’t be surprised given the state of him. 

“Patrick,” Gerard mumbles.

“Yeah?” Ray asks. Gerard doesn’t continue, he just blows his nose into his sleeve which doesn’t seem entirely sanitary but he’s a mess right now so Ray decides to let it go for the time being, but he most definitely will be washing that shirt extra thoroughly. 

“They said something really shitty to Patrick didn’t they?” Ray asks.

“Made me,” Gerard says, and Ray starts to understand why Gerard’s on the floor like this. Who wouldn’t be?

“They made you say something mean to him?” Ray guesses.

Gerard just nods and Ray curses a million times to that damn fairy who’s ruined Gerard’s life so many times over, but this is a new low. This is an entirely different attack on him. Before, it’s been petty, sure this isn’t the first time Gerard’s cried over what he’s been told to do but it’s surely the worst of it yet.

Gerard’s been told to do some awful things, he once had to mouth off to a teacher which ended disastrously, and he broke his foot jumping from a window, and he once even had to stay quiet for almost a week when someone told him to stop talking, but this is a new level.

“Ray,” Gerard says, sniffling and sounding like a wreck which is what he is at the moment so it’s a fitting term to describe him.

“What?”

“My life hasn’t been all that easy. I’ve been made to do some awful things. But this… this is the worst thing that the curse has ever made me do.”

“I get it,” Ray says, and he doesn’t disagree. He’s not a parent, he doesn’t know he’s supposed to be. It’s not really Ray’s job to be a parent, because it shouldn’t be expected of him but he’s known Gerard since he was a baby. Hell, he knew Gerard before he was born. Ray doesn’t have to be a parental figure, but it’s a position he wouldn’t dare neglect, because he cares too much about Gerard not to be. Ray’s been pushed into the position of being a parent and the sad truth is that he thinks he’s doing a bad job, but he’s probably the best thing that could have ever happened to Gerard. 

But the thing that kills Ray more than anything is the fact that he can’t do anything to stop Gerard’s misery. He can’t take the curse away, even though Ray would die trying. He has tried, he’s done everything. He’s begged for Gerard, and he’s begged some more and it hasn’t paid off. But this time, things have gone too far. 

Ray thinks quickly on his feet as he evaluates the situation, and he comes to an idiotic and surely unconventional plan, but it’s the only plan he’s got. 

“Okay, I think it’s time,” Ray says, looking torn up with himself.

“Time?” Gerard asks, “for what?”

“Oh, something long overdue. Shit, he’s going to kill me. Or well, I mean he can’t, and even if he had the capability to kill me this would not be the first on his list for why he would do so.”

“You’re talking crazy, Ray,” Gerard warns him, momentarily disarmed by his own confusion. He forgets for a moment to be depressed as all hell as he looks at Ray who is balancing something or other out in his head.

“Okay, I gotta do it,” Ray says. “I mean, it’s about time, this has gone on for far too long.”

“What has?”

“Just…” Ray pauses, “okay, hold on, there’s something I need to go get.”

“What?” Gerard asks, even more confused as Gerard is left alone in his room when Ray leaves and turns to go down the hall, presumably into his room to get whatever the hell it is that’s making him seem like he’s lost his mind. To be fair, it’s quite impressive that neither he nor Gerard have actually lost their minds yet considering these conditions. What with Hattie, Olive, and Buggy around here, it’s a real wonder there hasn’t been a triple homicide at this residence. 

Ray comes back a minute later with a very bulky book. It’s one that looks like it could be relatively old, or fairly new, and Gerard is completely lost as to why a book is what this situation really needs.

“I’m confused,” Gerard says.

“Okay, so well, alright, so you might be kind of angry with me after I explain all of this, but trust me, I’m not the one pulling the strings here. Or well, I mean I kind of am. I’m the person to blame for this happening, so I guess I do deserve some of the blame, but like, it was an accident I promise. You know I’m not very good at magic, and I try, I really do, but I’m only a household fairy, I’m not as great as others, and I’m actually pretty bad at it for a _household_ fairy, honestly, I’m just really bad at magic, and it’s astonishing to me that I haven’t accidentally blown up the town, but to be fair, you have to at least have some amount of power to be able to blow up a town but-”

“Ray!” Gerard snaps, “you’re rambling. Get to the point.”

“Sorry, okay. Right, well, I uh, it was some time ago, that I… I made a big mistake, and it just didn’t… I don’t know how to do this,” Ray says, shaking his head, “Mikey, how about you tell him?”

Gerard, looking very concerned, asks, “Ray, who are you talking to?”

“He’s being a dick,” Ray says, groaning and looking at the book. “I get it, dude, I’m embarrassed too, but he’s having a bad day.”

Gerard is very worried now that Ray has officially lost it because the dude is talking to a book and it’s getting kind of unnerving. Gerard doesn’t know what to do if his best friend and guardian has literally gone insane. That would be quite a demise for the both of them considering how the rest of Gerard’s day has gone. 

“Ray?” Gerard asks.

“Okay he thinks I’m crazy, would you just stop fucking around and say hi to your brother?”

So Gerard is officially about to jump out the window when someone responds to Ray, and it’s not a voice Gerard has heard in quite some time. 

“I told you I didn’t want him to see me like this!” the voice hisses back at Ray and Gerard is confused and terrified out of his wits. 

“I know, you’ve been saying that for like five years, how many times do I have to apologize to you?”

“Endlessly,” the voice responds, and Gerard realizes that the voice is coming from the book.

“What’s going on?” Gerard asks.

Ray looks up, as if he’s only just remembered Gerard’s presence and he seems to realize how confusing he’s being. So, he turns the book around and Gerard sees a literal floating head inside the book, and Gerard really isn’t sure at what point he consumed a very large amount of drugs but it must’ve happened because this is unreal. 

There’s an actual head in the book. And it’s a familiar head too. It looks eerily like Gerard’s brother? But it’s not. But it looks like what Michael would look like nowadays, because obviously he will have aged since Gerard last saw him. But why is his face on a book?

Then Gerard notices that the face on the book is not a drawing or anything of the sort. It moves. It’s looking at Gerard. That face, and those eyes are looking at him, and there’s no way for a face to look that realistic when Gerard knows it can’t actually be there. 

“So this is your brother,” Ray says, awkwardly, holding the book and biting his lip while he does his best to avoid eye contact with Gerard.

“Michael?” Gerard asks, with very wide eyes glossed in sheer disbelief.

“Ew, what am I? An old man?” the book responds, “It’s Mikey.”

“Mikey?” Gerard asks, still very confused and weirded out.

“Yeah, he prefers Mikey,” Ray says. “It’s a puberty thing or something. Hell if I know, I’m not good at this sort of thing. Obviously.”

“What the fuck is going on?” Gerard asks.

“Valid question,” Ray nods.

“So Ray turned me into a book,” Mikey says, and Gerard is still perplexed by this actually talking book. He’s looking at this floating head inside this huge book with a moving mouth, and a face that looks so familiar and so similar to his presumed dead brother, and he doesn’t know how to handle this situation. He’s being told that this floating headed book thing is his brother and he’s just supposed to _accept_ that? 

“Accidentally!”

“That clears literally nothing up!” Gerard exasperates. 

“Okay, so I get this is a little hard to grasp,” Ray starts.

“A little? My little brother is in a fucking book,” Gerard says. He doesn’t know if he believes that right now, but what he does believe is that this person inside of this book does look a heck of a lot like his brother. He’s got the same voice that Gerard remembers.

Maybe the reason Gerard can’t accept this is because he’s so stunned that he’s looking at Michael that his brain has just decided that it’s too good to be true. Gerard has been so sure that Michael’s not dead, fighting against a larger part of him that was sure he was, but here he is. Maybe. It looks like Michael, but Gerard’s still not sure he’s ready to believe that it really is. 

Also, he does not know how to adjust to the name Mikey. It makes him feel like he’s meeting a completely different person to the one he lost years ago. He doesn’t know what might have changed about the personality of the Michael he remembers, because it feels like it’s been so many lifetimes. The fact that he looks older, is inside a fucking book, and has given himself a new nickname is just all too much for Gerard’s already weakened mind. He’s too numb and hurt to have to take more pain, and he’s not sure if this is pain, but it’s causing him some sort of knot in his stomach in any case. 

“Excuse you, I _am_ a fucking book.”

“Watch your language!” Gerard says.

“My only company for the last few years has been Ray, do you really expect my words to be clean?” 

“Okay fair enough, but still,” Gerard says, still not sure that this is all even in happening. It’s really hard to come to grips with the fact that your brother had been turned into a book. Not that anyone can really empathize with what Gerard is feeling. This is sort of a unique situation. 

“Why have you been absent for that long though?” Gerard asks, suddenly feeling offended and hurt that Mikey has been here this whole time. Now granted he is a fucking book and all you can see of him is his face floating in this little oval on the cover, but it would have been nice to at least known he wasn’t dead.

“Gerard,” Mikey says, “would you want me to see you as a book? It’s embarrassing.”

“You avoided me for this many years because you were embarrassed?” Gerard asks, “I thought you were dead!”

“Yeah I get that,” Mikey says, “but I’d preferred you thinking like that than to be some poor little sympathy case stuck inside a book. I mean no one wants this, this is hell.”

“Sorry,” Ray says.

“I’m not angry. I’m bitter, but anger is another thing altogether,” Mikey says, and Gerard is still completely lost. He’s got so many different emotions. Grief, and loss, and anger, and incredulousness, and fear, and a little bit of joy that his brothers not dead, but mostly just anger at the fact that he’s been in this house the whole time and Gerard never knew.

“I feel like this is about the time where I should mention that Mikey’s a magical book?” Ray says.

“Magical book?” Gerard asks, so full of skepticism and white hot anger that he’s not sure what’s preventing him from punching someone in the face. Given that Ray is the only non-book in the room other than himself, Ray should find it a very real concern that Gerard might accidentally forget to restrain himself. A broken nose is, in Ray’s opinion, the least he deserves. 

“Will you just hear me out for one minute?” Ray asks, “then you can be as angry with me about this whole thing as you need to be. I’ll understand completely.”

Gerard sighs, not happy about it, but he’ll hear him out because curiosity has gotten the best of him.

“Well,” Ray starts, “Mikey can show you people.”

“Show me people?” Gerard asks.

“Yeah just ask for a name and I can find them,” Mikey says.

“In what way?” 

“Mikey,” Ray asks, “can you show us Brendon?” 

“Sure thing,” Mikey nods, or bobs or whatever the heck you call it when a books disembodied head starts moving. Ray pulls the book open to a random page and what appears in front of Gerard is an image of a man he’s never seen before. It never occurred to him that he actually has no idea what the fairy who cursed him looks like until now. He’d been picturing some ugly old man with a wispy beard and bags sunk into his eyes, but this guy doesn’t look much older than Gerard himself. Of course that’ll be the eternal youth, but even Ray looks like he’s out of his teens, this guy could be Mikey’s age for god’s sake.

“ _That’s_ him?” Gerard asks.

“What? Were you expecting red eyes and pointed ears?” Mikey sasses as Ray closes the book again.

“Well, I just expected more from the man who’s ruined my life you know,” Gerard says, shrugging, and then realizes that Mikey, or the Michael that Gerard used to know, shouldn’t have any idea about the curse at all.

“Wait how do you know who that is?” Gerard asks.

“Please,” Mikey says, “I have a wealth of unlimited knowledge.”

“What he means by that is that I told him about the curse,” Ray says, “You may not be able to, but I can. I thought it might convince him to let you see him. It didn’t. And by the way, his wealth of unlimited knowledge is very much finite. He can’t tell you exactly where someone is. He can just show you where they are.”

“Yeah but I can give you a good guess as to where that dickhead is,” Mikey says, and Gerard would like to say something about him watching his language, but he thoroughly agrees in calling Brendon a dickhead. 

“Okay, so say you actually could tell me where Brendon is, what am I supposed to do with that information?” Gerard asks.

“Well, Gerard, I’m proposing you an idea,” Ray says.

“And what idea is that?”

“To find Brendon and break your curse.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So life's been pretty shitty around the world the last couple of days and I can't really encapsulate what that means for a lot of people, but I just want to say that I hope everyone is well, and I hope the world gets better than it currently is soon.


	14. Adventure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dumb propositions and cynicism.

“Is this a good idea?” Mikey asks.

“Will you shut up?”

“Why? Who is going to hear me? It’s nearly midnight, who are you expecting? A flock of angry bats?”

“We’re near ogre country, you nimrod,” Gerard says. It’s like they’re catching up on several years’ worth of insulting each other, or at least, over the past few hours, that’s what it has felt like. He supposes that they’re brothers though, this is sort of implied. 

“Dude, we live in the area designated as ‘near ogre country.’ We literally always have. Why is it different now?” 

“Because we’re about to go through it, and that is something we’ve never done before. It’s kind of the stupidest thing that we’ve ever even thought about doing.”

“Aren’t you the guy who’s supposed to be vocal about ogre rights and all that shit?” Mikey asks.

“Yes, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have the right to be afraid of the unknown,” Gerard says.

“Oh okay, so like how you’re afraid of totally crushing on the Prince because it’s unknown.”

“Oh my god, you know about that?”

“Ray is a really good source of information, believe it or not. He’s bad at keeping secrets. From what I hear, somebody is totally gaga over this guy. Mind you though, I’ve seen him, I understand. He doesn’t have a bad face.”

“I seriously do not want to talk about this,” Gerard groans.

“So I hear.”

“Please just let the subject go,” Gerard pleads.

“You’re going to have to embrace it at some point.”

“What for? I’m never going to see him again. He’s the _Prince_ , for god’s sake.”

“Well yeah, but you have to deal with the fact that he was a boy at some point or another, or you are going to be miserable,” Mikey replies. “The fact that he’s ab oy is the only thing throwing you off, and we both know it. If this had been a _Princess_ , you wouldn’t have blinked twice at the idea of liking her, but it’s the fact that he’s a boy. You’d have the same reaction to him now if he weren’t royalty. It’s not about him being the Prince, it’s about him being a him.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Is that your catchphrase? Do you have any other response besides that?”

“What do you want me to say Mikey?” 

“Well I don’t know. How about, ‘hey Mikey I’m really scared of what I’ve been feeling lately for this guy who I might really like and I need your advice on the matter.’ To which I would respond, ‘no problem bro, I get why that is scary for you, but you’re still a good person and it’s okay to be who you are.’”

“It’s not that simple.”

“Well why the fuck not?” Mikey asks. 

“Because he’s a boy!” Gerard groans, self-consciously looking around him even though he wouldn’t be able to see if anyone was near anyway. It really is dark at this time of night, and with only a candle for light, Gerard’s range of vision is only a couple of feet. He’s trying to keep an ear out for noises around him, but there’s animals roaming around that pose no threat and they keep throwing Gerard’s senses off. How is he going to know if someone is sneaking up on him to attack him? Especially when Mikey won’t shut up. Sure he’s glad the guy is back but he hadn’t realized how much vacant space there should be between words until he’d met someone who hasn’t talked to anyone in like six years.

“Lots of people are boys,” Mikey says, “Literally half of the population are boys. Isn’t it rather limiting to restrict yourself only to half the population. Actually, it’s even less than that, because you’re limiting yourself further by age range, as well as people who are already taken, and then you’ve gotta exclude the ax murderers so that’s only like, I’m no mathematician, but like maybe ten percent of the population. If you were then to add boys who aren’t taken, aren’t really old, or really young, or vicious killers, then you’ve got like a whole ten percent more.”

“You were not lying when you said you weren’t a mathematician.”

“Well, whatever. My point is, it’s rather limiting, and you’ve already got the hots for someone who you would have been excluding if you were using those parameters, so I’m just saying that you should keep your options open.”

“I’m going to ignore you, because I don’t want to hear about it,” Gerard says.

“Do what you have to do, but we both know I’m right.”

“We don’t both know that, as it is,” Gerard says.

“Well-”

“Okay, shut up we’re almost here.”

“Want me to check on him for you?” Mikey asks.

“Sure, why not,” Gerard says.

“Well, you don’t need me to tell you that he’s sleeping, I mean it’s after midnight, what kind of idiot would be awake at this hour?”

“Us,” Gerard groans. He’s not even sure if he’s longing for his bed or if his own adrenaline is keeping him awake, or maybe it’s the immediate threat of death, but he knows that for some reason he is both painfully tired and acutely awake. 

“Valid point,” Mikey says. “So how do you plan on playing this?”

“I was going to throw a rock at his window and hope for the best,” Gerard replies.

“Well I know who got the smarts in the family, don’t I?” Mikey says sardonically, and Gerard would hit him, but he doesn’t actually know how to injure a book, so he just rolls his eyes. Mikey as a book is quite a bit lighter than Mikey as a human would be, but he’s still a damn heavy book and Gerard is not in any way looking forward to lugging this book halfway across the kingdom. He needs Mikey however, so he will do what he has to do. 

Gerard sets his candle and Mikey down, much to the protest of Mikey, and looks up at the window above him, trying to figure out the best way to do this. He doesn’t want to shatter the window so he’s going to have to aim for the space next to the window. Gerard doesn’t have fantastic aim, so he just hopes he doesn’t accidentally vandalize this house. That would not make this situation better by any means. Especially given how precarious this situation already is, breaking a window would really decrease his charismatic rating substantially. 

Gerard picks a rock up off the ground, and carefully, with his heart beating faster than he knows it should, tosses it to the right of the window above him. He waits a moment and when he doesn’t see a hint of movement, he tosses another and this one almost smashes through the glass, making Gerard’s heart rate pick up again. 

It’s going to take a couple of rocks, he knows. The first one was to make Gerard’s presence known and the rest of them are just him demanding to have attention.

Gerard waits for a moment, but he doesn’t hear anything other than the sound of an owl somewhere off in the distance. Still, nothing. Gerard grabs a third rock and it’s a little off this time, nowhere near the right window so he takes another and this one is perfectly on point.

“There’s movement,” Mikey says, apparently spying on him, because what else is there to do when you’re a magical book? Gerard doesn’t want to think about the many uncomfortable situations Gerard has been in that he would not like Mikey spying in on, and it’s really awkward knowing that Mikey’s bound to have seen at least some of them. He’s really hoping that Mikey is ignorant of the time that Gerard thought he saw some money next to a riverbank and accidentally fell in. Gerard’s actually got quite a few falling into large bodies of water stories that he would rather be kept on the down low. 

Gerard picks up a final rock and aims it one last time, and that’s when he sees the window being played with before it’s opening up and Gerard smiles at the face looking down at him.

“What the heck do you think you’re doing?” he asks, and Gerard can’t see the details of his face so much as he can see the outline of a head, but he’s picturing anger and confusion. To be fair, that anger is perfectly warranted.

“Well, Patrick,” Gerard starts, “I promised you that I would never go on a life altering adventure without inviting you along.”

“A life changing adventure?” Patrick asks, confused. “Gerard, are you aware that it is midnight?”

“Well it’s closer to eleven,” Mikey whispers, but Patrick can’t hear him, and probably wouldn’t believe it if he were there, so Gerard disregards him.

“When is the official hour for starting life changing adventures? Do you know?”

“Alright, fine, but are you aware that earlier today you told me you never wanted to see me again? And that I was never allowed back into your house. And that you don’t want to be my friend. And I could go on.”

“Yes, I’m aware of that, but I didn’t mean any of it.”

“Then why did you say it?” Patrick asks.

“Hattie and Olive told me to,” Gerard says.

“You didn’t have to listen,” Patrick replies.

Gerard’s immediate response is to say ‘yes I did’ but his tongue won’t allow it. It’s been nearly ten years since his mom died, and he still isn’t able to bypass her command not to tell anyone about the curse. Even though he knows Patrick would never use it against him, he can’t do it. He really wishes he were allowed to make his own decisions sometimes instead of just allowing himself to be a carpet for everyone around him to walk all over. Then again, this is one of the driving factors behind him going on this life altering adventure in the first place. That, and it would be really fucking fantastic to not have to comply with every goddamn thing he’s ever told.

“It’s a long story,” Gerard says, “and unfortunately, I can’t tell you most of it. The fact is, I’m leaving, and I don’t know if I’m coming back. I don’t want to leave without at least asking you to come along with me.”

“Well what is this life altering adventure you’d have me uproot my life for, anyway?”

“Well, I’ve got to find this fairy,” Gerard says. 

“Why?” Patrick asks.

“I, uh, can’t tell you?” 

“Can’t or won’t?” Patrick asks.

“Can’t,” Gerard says, “I promise. I would tell you literally everything if I could, but I can’t, and unfortunately, I can’t tell you why I can’t, because it’s part of the whole ‘I can’t tell you thing.’ Listen, my life is convoluted, messed up, and shitty at the moment, and there’s nothing I can do to change that except maybe find this specific fairy who could change everything for me.”

“Who is this fairy?” Patrick asks. “And why do you need this specific one? Ray is a fairy.”

“I know he is, but it has to do with how strict fairy guidelines are, I’ll explain more, or whatever I can, later. It’s just, well it could be life or death for me to find him, and finding him is also probably going to be life or death.”

“Where is this fairy?” Patrick asks.

“That much, I can tell you. He’s in Giantville.”

“Giantville?” Patrick asks.

“Yes.”

“And how do you suppose we’re going to get to Giantville? That’s at least a week’s walk. Not to mention that this walk would require us to go through ogre country. I get that you have righteous ideas of ogres, but you do realize that we don’t actually know what they’re like. Especially after they’ve been blamed for the King’s death, they’ve been getting more violent. There’s quite a fear of the unknown there.”

“I know,” Gerard says, also feeling like he should say ‘I told you so’ to Mikey, because this was exactly his worry as well. Gerard doesn’t have any skills that will help him outside of this town really. His extent of survival knowledge is contained to how to boil water and how to mend a roof when you’ve got a leak. Most everything he knows about not dying is under the assumption that he has a roof over his head, which he will likely not be having at all for a while. 

“And neither of us have ever even really been out of this town,” Patrick says. “How do you suppose we’ll get there?”

“I’ve got a map,” Gerard says, looking at Mikey and then back up at Patrick. 

“Great, a map!” Patrick says sarcastically. “Do you also have something that will protect us from inevitable death on this little adventure of yours?”

“No not really,” Gerard says, because it’s better to be honest than to lead Patrick astray. 

“So what you’re saying is that you want me to come on a surely peril adventure with you, the guy who just today told me he hated me and never wanted to see me again, to a far off and also probably dangerous place on a mission to find a fairy who _might_ be there for a reason that you can’t tell me about?” 

“Yes,” Gerard confirms. 

Patrick sighs, long and hard, and it’s audible from two stories below him where Gerard now stands. There is literally no way Patrick is going to say yes. It sounds completely idiotic when you say it like that, but Patrick literally just stated a bunch of facts, so why on earth would anyone in their right mind agree to go on a quest this stupid?

Patrick, sighing once again with even more exasperation says, “give me five minutes to gather my stuff.”

“Wait… you’re serious?” Gerard asks.

“I’m not missing out on my only opportunity to leave this place just because the proposition is the stupidest one of all time,” Patrick says.

Gerard, in disbelief, looks down at Mikey whose face is an equal one of disbelief because this is the dumbest thing that anyone in the history _of_ history has ever agreed to. 

“This is the most amazingly unexpected thing ever,” Gerard says.

“Wow, so Patrick sure has become an idiot since I last knew him,” Mikey says, “but I’m still glad that you’re not going to die alone.”

“All this time that I’ve been missing you and it turns out you’re just a ruder version of me,” Gerard says, shaking his head. 

“I wouldn’t say ruder. I would say more cynical.”

“A synonym of ruder,” Gerard says, peering up at the window above and hoping that Patrick isn’t just bullshitting him and going back to bed. 

Five minutes later however, Patrick comes walking out his front door with a small bag and he looks tired, disheveled and very confused about this entire ordeal. Gerard is almost dumbstruck by the fact that he’s here at all. Under these conditions, with the fact that it’s a deadly adventure, Gerard hasn’t told him anything helpful about the purpose of this quest, and the fact that only a few hours ago, Gerard had told him he never wanted to see him again, it’s pretty astounding that Patrick would even hear him out on this matter. Then again, it’s not new information to Gerard that Patrick is one of the kindest souls to have ever walked this earth. He’s only further proving that now. 

“I sure do hope you know what you’re doing,” Patrick says.

“Not a clue,” Gerard replies grinning back at him with complete awe.

“Dandy,” Patrick says resignedly as Gerard gathers his stuff and starts leading them in the direction of their very probable oncoming deaths.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's been a lot of lead up for the actual story but we're finally on our way! Please leave a comment and you will receive my undying love (and if you don't leave a comment you'll still receive my undying love anyway, it would just be lovely if you left a comment).


	15. Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Patrick is the best friend ever.

“So what I’ve determined is that when it is dark, and you don’t know where you are going,” Patrick says, “You should probably just stay home.”

“We have been walking for three and a half minutes,” Gerard replies.

“Yeah, but someone needs to doubt this whole adventure of yours or we’re going to die.”

“I don’t need more than one person being a cynic here, okay?” Gerard replies, and Patrick just assumes that Gerard is talking about himself, but the truth is that Mikey, Patrick, and Gerard are all completely full of doubt. Only Gerard has the striving courage in himself to know that this will all be worth it. Patrick doesn’t have that. So Patrick has the right to have as much doubt as he needs. 

“So do you have any plans on how to deal with ogres?” Patrick asks,

“Well, my immediate goal is to not run into any ogres at all.”

“That’s really reassuring. But what do we do if we do run into ogres,” Patrick asks.

“Well presumably there’s going to be a serious language barrier, given that neither of us speak ogre,” Gerard says, “So my assumption there is that instead of trying to reason with an ogre, we just run the fuck away.”

“How fast are ogre’s though?”

“You know, I could never find a textbook that detailed the average rate at which an ogre can run per minute, but I’m assuming that however fast it may be, our will to not die will let us run faster.”

“Your strategy is to just run?” Patrick asks.

“Well, sort of.”

“This will be fun,” Patrick says. “When do we sleep?” 

“Soon,” Gerard says.

“This couldn’t have waited until the morning?” 

“I don’t know how long this fairy will be in Giantville. It looked like some sort of gathering. It might go on for a few days or a few hours. He could be gone already and I won’t know. I may not be able to guess so well the next time he moves.”

“How did you guess this time?” Patrick asks.

“It wasn’t too hard. Big furniture tells the way.”

“Big furniture?” Patrick asks.

“Yeah well, when I saw him, he was surrounded by huge furniture. Either he’s a tiny ass fairy, or he’s in Giantville.”

“How did you see him?” Patrick asks. “Magic mirror?” 

“Do I look like I’m made of money? Where the hell am I going to buy a magic mirror?”

“Well how else could you know where this fairy is?”

“Magic book,” Gerard shrugs.

“Book?” Patrick asks, “Okay, so correct me if I’m wrong, but there’s no such thing as a magic book.”

“Oh so there’s no fairy smart enough to create a magic book? If they can market magic mirrors, then what’s so outlandish about a magic book?”

“Well seeing is believing man,” Patrick replies. “Show me your magic book. And that is not an innuendo by the way.”

Gerard nods, and reaches into his bag, pulling out Mikey, but he’s hiding because when Gerard shows Patrick the book, Mikey’s face is nowhere to be found. 

“How does it work?” Patrick asks.

“Well,” Gerard says, “speak to it.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Patrick groans.

“Here. Show me Brendon,” Gerard says, and he pulls the book open to a random page, angling it towards Patrick so that his candle can illuminate what’s there.

“No way,” Patrick says, looking awestruck at the page where a very dimly lit room shows a man sleeping in a bed that isn’t a bad size for him, but compared to the huge chair in the background, it’s not hard to guess that he’s still in the same place. 

“Cool, right?” Gerard asks.

“You could say that,” Patrick replies, grinning, and totally adding kindling to Mikey’s ego while he’s at it. “So this is where we’re going? How do you suppose we find him when we get there?”

“I figured we’d just ask for Brendon and hope for the best,” Gerard says. “I’ve never heard anything bad from the giants. I mean there have been a fair share of accidental killings, mostly by squishing, but they seem pretty chill if you ask me.”

“Oh man,” Patrick groans, “It’s times like these I really wish I were taller. Nothing worse than the prospect of being crushed by something thirty feet tall, especially when I’m already short as it is.”

“A couple of inches doesn’t matter to someone who mistakes humans for toothpicks,” Gerard replies.

“Well that is quite reassuring.”

“I’m laying everything out to you here with as much honesty as I can.”

“So what’s the story on this mysterious fairy then?” Patrick asks, “does it have something to do with your magic book?”

“No, Ray is behind the magic book,” Gerard says.

“Really?” Patrick asks, “I was under the impression that Ray was not-so-fantastic at the whole magic thing.”

“Well he’s not. This book was an accident. A major accident of which I have not and probably never will forgive him for.”

“Why would you be angry, it’s a cool book,” Patrick says.

Gerard hears a quiet noise of approval from the magic book and hisses at it to shut up which thankfully, Patrick does not hear. The last thing Gerard needs is to have Patrick think he’s going insane on top of everything else. Gerard does intend to tell him about Mikey. He really does. Patrick deserves to know. He’s just got to convince Mikey of that first. There’s nothing Gerard can do if Mikey refuses to show up in Patrick’s company, so until then, Gerard will play it cool, and only argue with his book when Patrick is none the wiser. 

“It’s a long story. And I can’t tell you any of it until someone grows the hell up,” Gerard says, indirectly talking to Mikey.

“Okay?” Patrick asks. 

“Just please know that I would never have invited you if I didn’t think you could be helpful. If only to keep me from losing my own mind. That, and we need someone of sense on this little outing or I’d be dead before even crossing the edge of town.”

“I’ve never been so far away from home as Giantville,” Patrick says. “Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever been away from town more than a couple of times. It’s very nerve-wracking, being away from home.”

“I agree,” Gerard says. “I’m not used to not having a bed. Or a roof. Or clean water. Or any of that shit. We’ve got about thirty miles to the nearest town. If we walk about five hours tonight and take a break to rest, it should take us less than half a day until we hit it. But we’ll have to wake early. I want to be up a little after sunrise.”

“Great so we can have four or maybe even five whole hours of sleep,” Patrick says, unenthusiastically.

“It’s an elf town,” Gerard says, ignoring Patrick’s sarcasm. “Right on the edge of ogre country. We could go through on the safer route, but to be fair, that would eat up a huge chunk of our time, since it’s not as direct and could set us back several days. And by then, Brendon could be gone, off somewhere far further than this trek.”

“So what you’re saying is that we have to go through the death trap in order to even find this guy. Great. At least being among elves will make me feel better about my own height.”

“It’s a myth you know,” Gerard says, “about them being merely a few feet tall. I believe they’re, on average, only a few inches shorter than most humans.”

“Great. So I don’t even get to have the satisfaction of looking down on someone for the first and last time in my life,” Patrick groans, “but hey, at least it’ll be a laugh.”

“Are you inferring that all elves are entertainers, because I’ll have you know that that is a flagrantly disrespectful stereotype and-”

“You need to calm down your politics,” Patrick groans, “I was implying that it’ll be laughable that I’ll be mistaken for an elf.”

“Oh,” Gerard says, “I knew that.” Elves have a certain negative connotation in the Kingdom as being nothing but silly and disposable to human’s whims. The same can be said about most non-human species, but elves are one of the only enslaved races. As far as Gerard is aware at least. He’s not sure how kindly elves will take to them, but Patrick really _can_ pass as an elf, so they should be safe from anything short of a few dismayed stares. 

“You are so empathetic,” Patrick says, “emphasis on the pathetic.”

“What is it about caring for other races that makes me so pitiful.”

“It’s not that you care, it’s that you’re fighting a giant boulder,” Patrick says, “You can punch all you like, but you are not going to get yourself anywhere. Shout all you want to the heavens; no one is listening. Except maybe the Prince, but you didn’t like him anyway.”

“Drop it,” Gerard says.

“I’m not here to push you, though I feel I have the right to be a little spiteful if I so feel like it. I have earned as much.” 

“Yes,” Gerard says. “You have earned that, but that does not mean I have the obligation to allow it to demean me.”

“My goal is not to demean you. It’s merely to make you realize that neither of us have any say as to what this Kingdom is. The sooner you accept that; the sooner you’ll realize that complaining about it is futile.”

“Complaints are all I have when I have no opportunity to take action,” Gerard says.

“For now,” Patrick replies, sounding all hopeful and making Gerard fall deeper into his own naiveté.

Gerard, thankful for their light loads, is already feeling his legs cramping and his back aching. It’s probably caused mainly by fatigue, but he does so wish that Mikey weren’t such a heavy ass book. Couldn’t he have been a little book? Or one that wasn’t made out of the heaviest parchment ever? Gerard is only one person. Even with what little provisions he’s got, he knows he’s going to have a tough time at this, and it’s mostly because of this damn book.

“How much time do you think we’re going to make?” Patrick asks.

“At this rate? Steady, I suppose. It should take us, by my estimate, five days to get to Giantville. If only we had horses, we could cut that in half, or more. Alas, I haven’t even a fraction of what it would take to buy a _saddle_ for a horse, let alone the actual horse.”

“We might have luck in this elven town,” Patrick says, “they might have a better market.”

“I think what we need to focus on in the way of spending is not on horses, but rather food and water.”

“I have a little more money with me than I think you would expect,” Patrick says.

“And where did you acquire it, might I ask?” Gerard asks. 

“I’ve been saving up for my own adventure, though I assumed it would be much less treacherous and have a more absolute destination. I haven’t enough for a horse, or anything so luxurious, but should we find need of it, we have somewhat of a contingency. Emergencies only of course. I still plan on leaving town someday, and setting up shop somewhere else, but I don’t want to be unprepared.”

“I don’t want you spending your money on this,” Gerard says, stopping and looking at Patrick seriously, though only the bottom half of his face is visible because their torch is held in Patrick’s hand at waist’s height. 

“I don’t want you to believe that you have any right to tell me what I can and can’t do.”

“I’m not saying you can’t, I’m asking you not to waste it on me,” Gerard says.

“I am, at the end of the day, your friend, Gerard. I would see you through in anything that you need if it is required of me, or not. Do not tell me that this is not what I should spend my money on. I will support you through whatever idiotic scheme this is, even if it means immediate ill on either of our parts. I trust you, Gerard. Just allow yourself to trust that I know what I am doing.”

Gerard shakes his head, and looks around at the grasslands around them. They seem to be in a large field but with a return to forest not far ahead of them. It’s a large clearing nevertheless, and it allows visibility to some extent.

“You are too good,” Gerard sighs, “I swear it, your kindness is going to get us into trouble at some point. You are just too good.”

“And you are far too selfless for me to believe that this adventure isn’t important beyond words,” Patrick replies.

“That’s why you’ve come?” Gerard asks.

“Gerard, I believe that whatever it is you need from this fairy, it’s going to make a huge difference in you which will allow you to make a huge difference in others. I believe that of you. You are far too concerned in the well-being of others for this big grand quest to be anything but of vital importance.”

“It’s selfish of me, what I’m doing, Patrick,” Gerard says, because it is. This whole thing is to ask for Brendon to give him back his will, which only _he_ can be aided by. No one else gets anything from Gerard not having to do what he’s told. It’s incredibly selfish, and Gerard wouldn’t make it out to be anything but.

“That doesn’t mean it’s not worth the struggle,” Patrick says. “Now come on, we’ve got a lot of ground to cover.”

Patrick starts walking again, and Gerard stands there astounded for a moment. He doesn’t know how Patrick manages to be so kind. It’s beyond Gerard. Gerard doesn’t see himself as selfless, and he doesn’t know why Patrick sees him that way, but maybe it’s not the point that Gerard sees exactly what Patrick does. Maybe it’s just good enough that Patrick sees anything at all in him that makes all this worth it.

Gerard smiles thinking about this as he continues to walk off behind Patrick. That is, until he hears the sound of someone screaming not too far ahead of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey I so love all of ya'll for still reading this story even when I update so infrequently.


	16. Bargaining

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Gerard and Patrick meet an elf.

When Gerard and Patrick follow the source of the screaming, they come upon a rather strange sight. There’s a man, who Gerard can’t make out in the dark, dangling from a tree branch by his feet. He’s squirming and trying to pull himself free but he can’t seem to lift his body up enough to reach the ropes binding him. He looks much like your classic damsel in distress, only slightly less damsel, and slightly more numbskull given the way that when he squirms, he looks like a very energetic slug.

“Well I guess this is what you get when you leave your hometown,” Patrick says. 

“We should help him shouldn’t we?” Gerard asks.

“What kind of a person are you?” Patrick says, looking offended and stomping right over to the dangling man with determination.

“Sir, are you aware that you are currently dangling upside down from a rope?” Patrick asks.

“Are you aware that you two just fell into a fucking trap?” the man replies, and Gerard really wishes he knew what this guy looked like, but it’s hard to tell when he’s both upside down and it’s pitch black. He also wishes that Patrick hadn’t been so impulsive, because even though it makes him sound like a bad guy, Gerard doesn’t know this man. Why does he have the obligation to help him? And then he remembers his decency and he sighs as he walks over also. 

“See now, that would make the fact that you are dangling from a tree make more sense,” Patrick replies, before turning around to see two very burly looking men coming out from behind two very large trees. 

“At least they’re not ogre’s,” Gerard shrugs.

“But they are every bit as ugly,” the man, who’s currently spinning to face the other way replies.

“Is that helping this situation in anyway?”

“Not really.”

Gerard, who seems to be the only one concerned with the fact that two large men, larger than Gerard at the very least, are looming over them with looks of devilish intent on their equally as uninteresting faces. Gerard says this as they are two of the most unassuming faces he’s ever seen. All it takes is a blink for Gerard to completely forget every feature on either ones faces. 

“May I ask why it is you two have this man tied to a tree?” Gerard asks.

“Funny man wouldn’t sing us a song,” one of the men says, the one on the left. 

“Funny man?” Gerard asks, before turning to the man tied to the tree, “Wait, are you an elf?”

“Well duh,” he replies as he turns steadily back to look at Gerard.

“Elves don’t have preservation rights,” Patrick murmurs, “this is technically not illegal.”

“Well that is not a decent thing for you to be doing to your fellow creature,” Gerard says, and Patrick is in disbelief that Gerard is about to reprimand this very large, very stupid, very unwelcoming looking bully. 

“He’s an elf.”

“And you’re a jerk,” Gerard says, “what other facts do you want to state?”

“I’m Pete by the way,” the elf says as he circles around again to face Patrick. He holds out a hand, as if to shake, but he rotates again the other way before Patrick can take it.

“I’m Patrick. The idiot with the big mouth is Gerard.”

“Nice to meet you,” Pete says as he spins toward Patrick again. “And nice knowing you.”

“Yeah you too,” Patrick says as Pete spins away.

“I’m not being killed today,” Gerard says, “this is the first time I’ve ever left town without my mom. Oh my god it’s been like ten years since I left my home, and the last time I did leave my stuffed animal drowned. Poor Mittens. He was so young. I’m so young. I’m not old enough to die. I’ve never even seen the world, I can’t die. I’m having a crisis here.”

“There are better times to emotionally breakdown, Gerard. Right now we’ve got to stop the big men from killing us and our new friend here.”

“I think it’s a little premature to start slapping labels on this relationship quite yet, don’t you think?” Pete says.

“Well given the circumstances I figured you could use a friend,” Patrick replies, and this conversation seems far too casual given that the two men looking at them now are cracking their knuckles like they’re about to fuck some shit up. 

“Fair enough,” Pete says.

“I just feel like there’s a good reason I buried that memory,” Gerard says, “because if you repress a memory, there’s usually a good reason for that.”

“Oh my gosh, you’d think the existential crisis could wait for when I’m not suspended from a tree. This is such an emotional rollercoaster to go through with two people you’ve never met. Sorry about your shit, but can you focus on it another time?” Pete asks, and Gerard decides that he likes him, even though he’s having an inner panic attack about the fact that he is actually _doing_ this. He’s actually here.

It’s not really about any stuffed animals, though to be fair, Mittens was a damn good bear, it’s mostly about the fact that he’s probably going to die, and there’s no guarantee that Brendon is going to take the curse back, and there’s no guarantee that they’re ever even going to find the guy. Gerard is just really in a deep vat of turmoil that he didn’t think twice about before jumping into. 

“So,” Patrick starts, looking at the big men, “can I just, like, bribe you to leave us alone? Because obviously, we pose no threat, between the three of us, I’m imagining that we total to about a third of either of your heights, and I’ve never fought anything. Well I won a thumb war once, but it was on a good day. I mean, I trouble to kill flies sometimes because they’re not doing anything wrong, you know? They’re just annoying. So please just don’t swat us like the flies that I never managed to actually kill.”

“How much money you got?” the bigger of the two says, by maybe a few inches. Gerard’s not sure because it’s too dark out, but he’s pretty sure that with the height difference between himself and these men, he can actually see the nose hair in their noses.

“Not much, but like, probably enough for drinks, or maybe a night out to the theater, so that instead of tying a guy to a tree, next time maybe you can just go see a play.”

“Yeah,” Pete says, “I promise you they’re better singers. And dancers. The only thing I’ve got actors beat on is sense of fashion.”

“I highly doubt that,” Patrick says, and he would look at Pete from head to toe, but he’s upside down at the moment so he actually looks at him toe to head, and it’s not impressive whichever way you scan him. 

“Right, I’ll take it,” the bulkier of the two says, because calling him shorter isn’t the proper term, because he’s not short by any means, he’s just shorter than his half-giant friend of his.

“Really?” Patrick asks, “that bargaining worked?” 

“I’m not an animal,” he replies.

“I wasn’t implying you were. It’s just, I’ve never bartered before, I didn’t know it’d be that easy,” Patrick says, looking triumphant. 

“I knew I brought you along for a reason,” Gerard says.

“Can we save the flirting for later, please just someone buy me my freedom,” Pete says, turning away from them once again, though he’s starting to spin a little slower which is something. 

“No, I’m not the guy he wants to be flirting with,” Patrick says and Gerard hits him, as Patrick busies himself in the pocket of his bag. Patrick pulls out a wad of bills and he makes out to toss them at the big guys. One of the men steps closer which makes Gerard takes an enormous step back, because he doesn’t trust this situation at all. It’s best to be somewhat skeptical when you make a shady deal with two very large, probably armed, definitely stronger men in the middle of the night.

The guy sorts through the money that Patrick has just given him, and Gerard is astounded by the fact that it looks like he’s counting it. With the expression on both of their faces, he’s very surprised to learn that they can count. 

“Alright,” the bigger one says, “seems fair. Have fun with him, but he ain’t too much fun.”

“Well I’m not an item to be purchased,” Pete says. 

“Don’t talk too much, things are going our way,” Gerard whispers at him. Gerard has to fight not to speak his mind, because in his eyes, this doesn’t seem fair in the slightest. There’s no logical reason for why they should have to be paying these two big ugly brutes for them not to tie this elf to a tree. Pete’s a person like everyone else, there shouldn’t need to be a transaction exchange between anyone for him to have the right not to be tied to a tree, but the world is imperfect and ugly sometimes. 

“So uh, are we good then?” Patrick asks. “No hard feelings for anything?”

“Yeah, I think we’re good,” the bulkier one says, looking to the big one to see if he agrees, and when he does it seems like a well enough situation for the time being. 

“Well, uh, nice meeting you,” Patrick says.

“Not really,” Pete says, rotating away, and Gerard hits him, which makes him start spinning in the other direction completely.

“He’s joking,” Gerard says. “He’s an elf, he does things like that. They’re all about their jokes.”

“Right,” the big guy says, and then they just start walking away. Gerard’s not really sure how deals are made in the world outside of his hometown, but he thinks that if this is how most of them will go, it might not be too hard. He may not die after all. Gerard is firmly aware that this will be an anomaly in his life, things being this easy, but he doesn’t want to be so negative about the fact that this is working itself out neatly.

“Well that was less bloody than I was expecting,” Pete says. “Nice to meet you. Wish it could’ve been under other circumstances but thank you for the help.”

“That wasn’t all your money, right?” Gerard asks.

“Nah, it wasn’t even half of it,” Patrick says.

“I’m not even worth all of your money,” Pete says, sighing.

“I only just met you,” Patrick replies. “Maybe next time I’ll offer more, but just be thankful that a stranger bothered saving your life.”

“Time to get you down,” Gerard says, reaching into his backpack, and hoping he does have something that will help get this poor guy down. 

“Please do it carefully,” Pete says as he keeps spinning, and it would be funny if he didn’t look like he was about to pass out from the blood rushing to his head. 

“The sharpest thing I have is my wit,” Gerard says, after scouring the pockets of his bag for a knife that doesn’t exist. 

“See this is why you need me,” Patrick says, reaching into his own bag which he’d set on the ground. 

“Again, I ask for you to be careful.”

“Well I’ll grab him and you cut the rope,” Gerard says, knowing that is not a good plan, but it’s the only plan that he’s got. 

“This is going to end badly,” Pete says somberly, and the two of them roll their eyes as Gerard takes his position by stopping the guy from spinning. Gerard holds onto him with the best grip he can, but it’s not easy because Gerard’s only tall enough to grab the guy by his shoulders, and coupled with the fact that Pete’s still upside down, it’s not much of a mystery of how this will end. They’re both going down.

“Ready?” Patrick asks, looking at the rope, which is tied around the bottom of the tree, and strung over a branch a little way up. 

“Nope, but do it anyway,” Gerard says, and Patrick only has to cut a small part of it before he weakens it enough to a place where the rope snaps. Gerard and the man who he literally just met topple down to the ground with a thump and an “oh fuck.”

“That hurt,” Pete says.

“Patrick, next time _you’re_ catching the guy tied to a tree,” Gerard says, pushing the guy off of him and brushing himself off, knowing that he’s going to be soar and bruised everywhere from this later. It doesn’t help that Gerard bruises like a peach. 

“Well given the unlikeliness of this ever happening again, fair is fair,” Patrick says.

“Oh man I’m dizzy,” Pete says, pulling himself into a sitting position and then rubbing at his temples. “Thanks for not letting me die or anything.”

“No problem,” Patrick says.

“Speak for yourself,” Gerard groans, standing up.

“He complains a lot, don’t mind him,” Patrick says, offering their new acquaintance a hand. Pete looks up and takes it and they get their first real look at him when he’s not upside down.

Gerard immediately snorts out laughter when the guy stands up because, this is just far too tragic for Patrick.

“What?” Pete asks.

“The first elf we’ve ever met, and you’re still taller than Patrick,” Gerard says, still grinning.

“I resent that,” Patrick sighs, but even he can’t deny that it’s true and kind of amusing. But that doesn’t mean he’s happy about it. 

“It’s a first for me too,” Pete says. “You’re human?” 

“Yeah,” Patrick sighs.

“That’s really unfortunate,” Pete nods, looking down at him, literally, and looking quite happy with himself for not being the shortest person for the first time probably ever.

“Well uh,” Gerard says, “it’s been nice saving you and all but we really should be going.”

“What? Wait you’re just going to leave?” Pete asks.

“Yeah. We’re in somewhat of a hurry,” Gerard says as he and Patrick start walking back through the woods in the direction that they hope is correct, but they got a little turned around with this interruption. 

“Where do you have to be in the middle of the night that’s so urgent?” Pete asks.

“That’s a really good question,” Patrick replies, “even I’m not too sure on the answer.”

“We’re trying to get to Giantville,” Gerard says.

“Why the hell are you trying to do that?” Pete asks. “You know how big Giants are?”

“Well presumably quite large,” Gerard says, “I mean, they’re called Giants, after all. It’s in the name.”

“Well maybe I can help,” Pete says, “I kind of owe you one for saving my life back there.”

“I’m not going to ask you to do that,” Gerard says.

“Well I’m not asking; I’m offering my help. I might be able to help you out with some stuff, you know. Like I’m quite the people person.”

“Why do I doubt that?”

“Okay maybe I’m not that great with people, but I know this part of the woods really well. The least I can do is offer you a shortcut back to my town. It’s on the way to Giantville, so I can offer you a bed or something for the night,” Pete says.

“We know where we’re going,” Gerard insists.

“Really?” Pete asks, “then I’m sure you’re aware of the fact that you’re walking in the wrong direction.”

Gerard pauses, and looks around. Come to think of it, he does remember being here a few minutes ago. Patrick huffs and rolls his eyes as Gerard turns around to look back at Pete.

“We would love your help,” Patrick says, “or at least, I would. Gerard is too proud to admit that he doesn’t know the right way to go.”

“I’d have figured it out,” Gerard groans. 

“Yeah, soon as we got back to Frell, you’d have figured it out,” Patrick says.

“Like you could do any better,” Gerard shrugs. “But if Patrick thinks it’s a good idea, I won’t protest.”

Pete grins and starts leading them in the other direction while Gerard regrets every decision he’s made in his entire life, especially the ones that he’s made today. Then again, in his defense, Gerard is walking a line between life and death, and he should be thankful that he can’t see it, but imagining it doesn’t help ease his mind any more than knowing the exact date of his death would.

Gerard shakes his head dejectedly to himself, thinking about all the things he won’t be able to do if he dies. But then again, when he thinks about it, there’s a longer list of things he can’t do if he continues to live this way. It doesn’t quite even out the inevitability of death, but at least Gerard’s not sitting around doing nothing to help himself. At least this way if he dies, he’ll have lived a little.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are few things more amusing to me than Pete as an elf. What a mental image.


	17. Stolen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The plight of the elves.

“So what was an elf doing all the way on the other side of the forest at this time of night anyway?” Gerard asks, after probably about ten minutes of walking, and only small talk guiding their way.

“I was sort of trying to make myself disappear for a little while,” Pete says.

“Why is that?” Gerard questions. 

“Well, the Royal Guard were doing their rounds,” Pete says, as if this is an answer to the question. 

Gerard’s not sure why, but he doesn’t trust Pete. It’s not that he seems untrustworthy, it’s just that this whole adventure is too important for Gerard to let anyone gain his trust so easily. He needs to be absolutely sure, and he’s known Pete for ten minutes, while he’s known Patrick for over ten years. It’s easier for him to trust Patrick.

Patrick however, he trusts Pete, quite an opposition to Gerard’s thinking. Patrick doesn’t know why, but it’s hard to look at this man and see anything but ease and trustworthiness. Patrick thinks the best of people though, he always has, so his judgment may not be as correct.

“I don’t follow,” Gerard says to Pete.

“Well,” Pete says, “this isn’t something you could understand. My people are like cattle to the race of men. We serve only as slaves in the eyes of those higher up. I’m afraid that if I had stayed in town the last few nights, I might have been rounded up and shipped off to the castle as a fool.”

“Oh,” Gerard says. He’s all for equal rights but it hadn’t occurred to him that this elf, who looks so like an ordinary man, aside from his pointed ears, could be considered so inferior in the eyes of his fellow man. He’s cast as the villain in this scenario, and even though it’s not Gerard’s hand that makes this so, it’s the sins of his kind that perpetuate it. Pete is an elf. In this kingdom, elves are slaves. Pete is, and will always be, considered a potential slave.

“I’m sorry,” Patrick says when Gerard doesn’t say anything.

“It is not the fault of any one man. Save maybe the royal family.”

“It’s Edgar,” Gerard corrects. “I doubt the Prince has the capacity in him to understand what exactly slavery entails.”

“Here you go again,” Patrick says, rolling his eyes.

“I’m missing something?” Pete asks.

“Gerard has a thing for the Prince,” Patrick says.

“Would you stop telling people that!” Gerard groans. “I don’t. Not anymore. I knew him once, for a day.”

“Two days,” Patrick corrects.

“You met him?” Pete asks, looking excited at the very idea of it.

“Yes,” Gerard says, “he’s perfectly ordinary, and ignorant. I don’t think highly of him.”

“You think highly of his face,” Patrick jokes, and Gerard punches him in the arm, harder than usual.

“Oh my, I have heard a word or two on his good looks,” Pete says, “but I never expected them to be _that_ hypnotic.”

“Let it go you two!” Gerard groans. “I barely even know you and already you’re starting to get on my bad side.”

“I apologize,” Pete says, “but we have an hour or two to fill with conversation. Town is not so close that we can walk in silence. Tell me why it is that you find yourselves here in the first place? Why is it that you seek Giantville of all places?”

“I’m trying to find someone,” Gerard says.

“Why?”

“I’d like to know the same thing,” Patrick says.

“It’s not something that I can say. I would tell you if I could, but I wouldn’t be able to. I’ll tell you that he’s a fairy, and that I need to speak with him. It’s most urgent,” Gerard says. “It’s life changing, if this information pleases you.”

“Is that all you can divulge?” 

“I wish I knew how to tell you that it genuinely is. That’s the most I am able to say,” Gerard replies.

“Alright,” Pete says, “and why are you going along then?” Pete directs his question towards Patrick who seems more than happy to be directly acknowledged by the man. 

“I am the unlucky holder of the position of best friend,” Patrick replies. “I shouldn’t really be here. Not even yesterday I was told that Gerard wanted nothing to do with me.”

“My stepsisters forced me,” Gerard says, feeling an uncomfortable warmth of guilt in his stomach when Patrick brings it up. The mere fact that he had to say those things to his best friend in the world breaks his heart.

“I am not going to hold it against you,” Patrick says, “I trust that you didn’t mean it. I just thought I would provide more background information.”

“So you come along on a mysterious quest that you don’t know the purpose of?” Pete asks. “After he says that?”

“That’s what best friends do,” Patrick shrugs, “besides, I was not going to let Gerard have all the fun while I stayed at home and moped.”

“Someday I may be able to tell you,” Gerard says, thinking about what his life will be like without the curse. He’s done his best to avoid thinking about it, because he doesn’t want to get his own hopes up. He doesn’t want to dwell on what might be when he doesn’t know if he’ll ever have that.

It hurts him to think about the fact that someday he might be able to say no to an order when he never has before. Thinking on it, his heart aches knowing that he’s lost so many things to this curse. He’s lost opportunities, so many opportunities that he can’t even comprehend the momentum of it all.

What would his life be like if he could make his own decisions? Gerard’s not even sure if he’d be the same person. This curse seems so much like it’s part of him, but there’s nothing he wants more than to be free of it. This curse may be the reason that he is the person that he is today. Gerard may not have been as kind. Gerard may have been snobbish, maybe he would have been like his sisters. Maybe Gerard would have sympathized with King Edgar. 

Without Gerard’s knowledge of what it’s like to be oppressed, Gerard may not have been capable of empathizing with creatures who have been marginalized in the kingdom without this curse. That’s not to say that he’s thankful of the curse, but maybe having lived through this for the first part of his life will set him up for greater things in the second part of his life.

But Gerard doesn’t want to get his hopes up. He doesn’t know if he’ll ever be able to find Brendon, let alone know if Brendon will be either capable or willing to take the curse away from him. He might be stuck like this forever. A prisoner to his own thoughts, and a slave to people’s orders. 

Gerard is afraid of what the life he lives might make him do. There’s nothing stopping Gerard from unspeakable acts. If someone tells him to do something vile and evil, Gerard will not be able to sop himself. 

“’Someday’ is a lot of trust to bear on just one person,” Pete says, already bristling with curiosity himself, and he barely knows these guys. 

“It’s the only promise I can make.”

“You two are so mysterious and grand,” Pete says, rolling his eyes, “then here I am a little old elf whose never even seen a fairy. Or, like the top of a book shelf but that’s more a height thing than it is anything else.”

“You’re still taller than me,” Patrick groans.

Over the course of the next few hours, Patrick convinces Pete to give him his entire life story. He has two siblings, he’s quite fond of soup, his childhood best friend was called Sam, and a whole assortment of other things that no one could ever care about. Patrick has either gained a new very in depth interest in learning peoples backstories or he is more compelled by Pete than Gerard had originally guessed. Gerard’s not sure to what extent ‘compelled’ applies.

Eventually though, Pete guides them onto the edge of what looks like a town, but it’s very different from the town that Gerard knows. Gerard’s used to drab, rundown, dark colors and barely standing structures. He’s never seen a town this, well _vibrant_. 

The sun is just now starting to come up, leaving a sinking feeling in Gerard at the thought of how many hours he and Patrick have been awake. The sun rays are hitting the town just so that the light shows off some of the houses directly in front of them, and they look way more welcoming than anything in Frell.

The town is bright, and these buildings look brand new, though Gerard guesses them to be older than they appear. None of them seem to be just beige, or just brown, or just some rusted color of paint that no one knows the original pigment of. 

The house in front of Gerard is a purple color. Gerard’s never even seen purple paint let alone a house covered in it. Beyond that is a startling yellow. Then a rich orange color, like the sun setting in summer. No two houses are the same. Structurally, or in color. There’s two story houses, one story houses, wide houses, and long ones. It all looks like it should be mismatched but somehow, everything makes sense. Like pieces of a puzzle coming together intricately. 

Each house has perfectly trimmed grass in front of it, and there’s something in the air, like a jingling, but there’s no sound, it’s just in Gerard’s mind, but he _feels_ it. It’s almost as if the town were sparkling and the sound is audible but only in the mind. 

Even the ground below their feet is nicer than in Frell. Frell has only dirt roads. Anything else would be inordinately expensive. Here, the roads are a rich mahogany brick that looks like it’s been laid recently. Gerard almost feels bad about stepping on it, it’s so grand.

Honestly, the town just looks perfect. It looks like nothing Gerard could ever have imagined. He can’t even picture the palace being this pristine. How can any town be so beautiful? He never knew that this existed so near to his own home.

“We’re not allowed to hold jobs other than entertainment,” Pete says, seeing Gerard’s expression, “those of us who haven’t been stolen away yet busy ourselves on making this place look the best it can. It’s a façade. We give the impression that everything is okay when it’s not.”

Gerard thinks to himself that that is sufficiently depressing. He can’t imagine being so afraid of anything. Gerard is afraid of his curse, certainly, but never has he imagined that anything that could make him so scared.

“I live there,” Pete says, pointing to a house on the left, a smaller one, painted green, but kept as nicely as any of the others. “well, technically, I live in the basement.”

“This place is amazing,” Patrick says, “I mean, I don’t know if that’s what you want to hear, but, gosh. My family home has had peeling paint and broken windows since before I was born.”

“My house was falling apart,” Gerard says, voice soft as he looks around in awe, “you could hear the roof creak when it got too windy.”

“We keep up appearances,” Pete says, walking up the driveway. The sun is almost at a place in the sky that makes the world look like it’s starting to wake up, but it’s not there yet. 

There’s two doors on the house that Pete leads them to. There’s a main door, and then a door on the side that goes down a few steps. It’s only a one story home so Pete’s probably got about the same square footage as whoever lives upstairs. 

Pete leads them down the few steps, and unlocks the door, stepping back to allow Gerard and Patrick inside.

“There’s only one bed, one of you can have it, I can sleep anywhere,” Pete says, “but I figure having a roof at all is better than sleeping on a pile of leaves or something.”

Pete’s place is messy, and small. It’s mostly one big room, a bed shoved into the corner, and a kitchen shoved into the other. There’s a bookshelf and it’s overflown with books, all looking well-read. It’s nice, Gerard thinks. He’s never known anyone who lives by themselves, it’s kind of charming in that respect.

“My family and I, we used to share the place, but, well…” Pete drifts off. Pete hadn’t gone into too much detail earlier, but it’s not hard to guess where his family is. There’s a good reason elves are so afraid of being stolen away.

“You’re a lifesaver,” Patrick says, “honestly, thank you so much for this.”

“You saved my life,” Pete shrugs.

“Well, we cut you down from a tree,” Patrick replies.

“I could’ve died.”

“Let’s cut it out with the casualties,” Gerard says. “Not that I’m not thankful. We just need to get some sleep so that we can start out as soon as we can tomorrow, or well, tonight.”

“Yeah, it’s okay,” Pete says, “I understand.”

“You can have the bed,” Gerard says, “I dragged you on this thing.”

“Not gonna argue,” Patrick says, flopping over to it, his bones tired and weak from all this walking and a lack of sleep.

Pete walks over to one of the chairs set up in his small make-shift dining room, and he looks at the other chairs sadly. Gerard wishes he knew what to say, he’s so out of his element and far past his realm of wit. He doesn’t know what he’s doing here. He’s miles from his home in a surreal town filled with tiny people all filled with as much fear and melancholy as Pete, and Gerard’s so selfish as to believe that he deserves not to be told what to do. 

“Pete, we really are so thankful for this. So much more than you could know,” Gerard says, looking at him.

Pete, looking somberly at the table, looks back up and gets a shit eating grin on his face, that doesn’t quite meet his eyes. “It’s alright, I’m happy to help.”

“I just want you to know that it’s appreciated.”

“Do you think,” Pete starts, then he stops, doubting himself, before continuing, “Well, do you think, maybe I can come to Giantville with you?”

“What business have you there?” 

“None, I just…” Pete starts, “well, it’s an adventure, isn’t it? An opportunity to see the world.”

“Is that the truth?” Gerard asks.

“Well if it isn’t I would match you in declaration.”

“Pete, I don’t know if having you along is a good idea,” Gerard says, “there’s a very real chance that we may not live through the end of this. We’re going straight through Ogre country.”

“I accept the danger,” Pete replies. Gerard looks over at Patrick, already asleep, and Gerard thinks that as soon as he closes his eyes he too will pass out from as much exhaustion. 

“I just don’t know,” Gerard shakes his head, but he does know. Gerard has every intention of leaving without Pete. He just can’t afford to put anyone else in danger. But Pete doesn’t need to know that. Not yet. Hopefully, Pete will wake up to Gerard and Patrick having already gone. It’s the only way he can keep this guy safe. He doesn’t want to drag anyone else into this, as much as he or Patrick may like this guy, and Gerard thinks he could. 

Pete seems nice, like the kind of guy you stay friends with for your entire life. Maybe if all works out, Gerard and Patrick will make an effort to see him again, but until then, Gerard will do what he has to in order to keep him safe. 

Pete is still looking at him, deep rich eyes that remind Gerard of Frank’s. Frank’s had been a darker color, but they’re both a warm brown. Pete’s not like Frank though. Pete’s nice, but Gerard isn’t _drawn_ to him. Not that Gerard would ever admit to that much. He’ll own up to liking Frank, but that’s as far as he’ll go. As long as no one orders him to admit it. 

Pete’s face is still inquiring from him, and Gerard hasn’t the words to say what he wants to get across.

“I’ll think about it, Pete. But you need to consider what it is you’re asking. You could die,” Gerard says, lacing his words with a white lie. He won’t allow Pete to come along with them, but it’s true that if he did, he could die. Gerard just doesn’t want to blatantly tell Pete no, not after Pete offered them a roof for the night.

“I die every day I stay in this house,” Pete says, “I live with ghosts of a past and future I will never be able to have. I need to be free of this place, if only for a little while.”

Gerard surely has noticed the similarities between himself and Pete, but he’s trying not to think of that. That will make what he has to do even harder.

“Whatever happens Pete, just know that I think highly of you, even if it may not seem so,” Gerard says, these words being best goodbye he can muster.

At that, Gerard sighs to himself and concedes to get a little rest for the night. He’s got another long day ahead of him, one that might weigh more on him than even today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this chapter took so long, but I should be able to get back to this story more frequently now. Happy new year to everyone, please leave a comment!


	18. Trio

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Insert pop-punk band lyric about hating your home town*

“Come on, Patrick. Time to wake up,” Gerard whispers hurriedly, shaking him awake against every muscle in his body telling him to stay asleep. Patrick woefully blinks his eyes, sleep clouding them, and groans when he remembers where he is. He’s in some virtual strangers upsettingly lonely little house, far from home, and on an adventure that he may very well die from. He just wants to be home where the only thing he has to worry about is the constant smell of candle wax. This fear was mostly to do with living above a candle store, and the thing about candles is that they tend to burn. And his house had almost burned down one before. He misses the days when his only real threat was that he might burn alive in his sleep.

“Now?” Patrick groans.

“Yes, now,” Gerard says, hushing him. “Before Pete wakes up.”

“What? I thought he was… is he not coming with?” 

“I don’t want to get him killed,” Gerard says.

“But you’re alright with getting me killed?” Patrick says, grumpy in the morning and wishing he were waking up in his own room rather than this place. And several hours later.

“I don’t want to get a stranger who doesn’t know that he’s agreeing to die. You agreed, that’s on you,” Gerard says.

“Ugh, fine,” Patrick sighs, pulling himself up and stretching before Gerard’s already trying to hurry him up.

“Will you quit it?” Patrick says, “I’ll be ready in a moment.”

Gerard makes a disappointed sound, ignoring the sound of his stomach groaning. He may have accepted Pete’s kindness as far as a roof, but there’s no way he wants to be the bitch who steals food. He’d never allow himself to be that kind of person, no matter how low on supplies they are. 

Gerard looks over at Pete, he’s fallen asleep in a chair on the other side of the room, looking perfectly ignorant of the fact that Gerard’s somewhat betraying his trust. To be fair, Gerard never promised Pete that he could come with, but he certainly never agreed to allow him to come either. If he sneaks away now, he won’t have to face the awkward situation of having to tell Pete that he’s not invited. He doesn’t like confrontation, especially not with someone whose been so kind to him thus far. 

Gerard only brought so many provisions, but he concedes that they’ll have to skip any sort of breakfast. They’ll have to ration what little food he brought with him, and only if they run out will they think about buying more. 

“You ready?” Gerard asks after a minute, glancing over at Pete once again, careful not to wake him. 

“I suppose,” Patrick shrugs, not looking entirely happy about being awake, or being here, or really happy at all. He doesn’t look angry though, and that’s what matters. Gerard doesn’t like him being upset, but he’d feel awful if he’d pissed Patrick off. All he wants is to make amends for what he said to Patrick only yesterday.

In a way, this whole trip is for Patrick, or at least triggered by what Gerard was forced to say to him. Gerard’s lived his whole life settling with what he’s been forced to do and it took pushing Patrick away to make him realize that it has to end. Gerard would rather find himself killed than to have to say anything like that to the guy he cares the most about out of almost everyone. Hurting Patrick is the last thing he ever wants to do.

It’s ironic then of course that he’s bringing Patrick with him to take back the curse because he might very well get Patrick hurt which is exactly what he doesn’t want, but Gerard can’t deny that he’s a coward when it comes to being on his own. He claims he doesn’t need anyone and he hates all the people in his town, but that doesn’t change that he’s still so afraid of being out there on his own without anyone there to help if something were to happen. What if Gerard gets his foot stuck in a fox trap? What if he meets an ogre? Gerard would easily be dead in either of those situations if he didn’t have company, and Patrick’s the only company he could ever consider. 

That is, apart from Mikey, who is in a book so he’s not much of a use if the situation were to come to combat of any sort. Well, he could use Mikey as a shield he supposes but that would end soon after someone stabs him with a spear. Then he’d be a book on a stick and of no use to anyone. Gerard doesn’t know if that would kill him but he would very much like not to find out. 

Gerard leads Patrick to the door, checking one last time over his shoulder at Pete to make sure he’s still asleep. He’s completely still, sat in the same position he had been, not stirring in the least, so Gerard opens the door.

He’s blinded at first by the bright light of the sun, and from its position in the sky, he’d say it’s around one or two in the afternoon. That means that they got very little sleep at all, but they’re awake now so they have to leave.

The town is very much awake, with small people walking all along the roads, going this way and that, and they all seem to be pretending. It’s not that they’re pretending in a menacing way, it’s just that their smiles don’t quite meet their eyes. They’re guising distress with a grin and laughter, and it’s painful just to look upon. It’s people like Gerard that make them this scared, this depressed, this… hunted.

Their short stature is hardly noticeable when you look at only one elf, but when you see many all at once, it becomes more apparent that they are smaller than humans. Frell wasn’t exactly known for having tall people, but they were certainly taller than this. Apart from Patrick, but he is an outlier and should not have been counted. Other than their height, the only other difference is that elves have pointier ears. 

Gerard and Patrick don’t necessarily stand out, but they don’t blend in well either. Gerard is either a very tall elf, or a moderately small man. Without the pointed ears though, he’s just a sad, small man.

“Which was are we going?” Patrick asks. 

“Uh,” Gerard frowns, looking both ways and not actually remembering which direction they even came from last night. 

“Check the book,” Patrick says. 

Gerard doesn’t know why he didn’t think of that, and he pulls the book out from his bag, not surprised when he looks down and Mikey’s face isn’t in the little window. He’s still hiding from Patrick. Mikey _knows_ Patrick. Gerard thinks that if there’s anyone he could trust it’s him. Then again, Mikey was embarrassed for years to tell his own brother, so maybe it’s not surprising that he refuses to fess up to Patrick. 

“Which way to Giantville?” Gerard asks, opening the book to see a map. It doesn’t have exact directions though, it’s just a map.

“It looks like we should go… that way,” Gerard says, sounding unsure, and pointing in the general direction that he thinks they should go. 

“Okay,” Patrick says, sounding uncertain. 

It takes them all of twenty minutes for Gerard to realize that they’re on the wrong side of town to get to where they need to be going. He’s not entirely sure what direction Giantville is, but he knows that he’s heading away from it.

“I thought that it was this way,” Gerard says, “but that sign says north. We want to be heading east.”

“We came from the east?” Patrick says. “Won’t we head back the way we came?”

“This town was a little bit out of the way from the direction we wanted to be heading in. Just a little bit off, but it was convenient at the time. Now we have to go back a little the way we came to get back on track,” Gerard says. He steers them back in the direction that they came, a street from the one they came through so that they don’t have to walk past Pete’s house. Gerard doesn’t think he can take the guilt of that.

He sees the main street that they walked down earlier, only remembering it because of the sign on the border of town.

“This doesn’t look right,” Patrick says.

“No, I’m pretty sure it’s this way,” Gerard says.

“Actually,” someone else besides Patrick says, “it would be the opposite way.”

“Pete!” Patrick says excitedly, turning to look at the man, standing with a hell of a lot of snarl and sass in his gaze. Gerard just stands there looking at him, wondering how the hell he managed to catch up with them. He knows they’ve been lost for a while but, as he’s just proven, it’s not a small town. They could’ve been anywhere by now. 

“How did you find us?” Gerard asks. He looks to see that Pete has a bag over his shoulder, which means that he’s probably expecting to come along, and Gerard does not see that happening. 

“You couldn’t read a map for your life,” Pete says.

“I told you!” Patrick says, looking at Gerard with a cocked smile.

“I…” Gerard starts, “whatever. I suppose you think that you’re coming with us?”

“I have to!” Pete says, his expression changing to a plea. 

“But you can’t,” Gerard says.

“You said I could,” Pete replies.

“I said I’d consider letting you come, I never said I would let you,” Gerard replies.

“And you didn’t have the decency to tell me that you never considered anything?”

“I don’t want other people getting hurt because of me,” Gerard says.

“It’s not your responsibility to be concerned with whether I get hurt or not. It depends on whether I say I want to go or not, and when I said that I did, that was my consent. That takes the worrying out of your hands.”

“You can say that, but I’ll still be concerned, won’t I? I don’t have the room to set my humanity aside!” Gerard says.

Pete groans, “I just want to come, I don’t know why you need to make it like it’s a life or death situation. You probably won’t get hurt. Ogre’s aren’t as beastly as you’ve been made to believe.”

“Pete, I-”

“Is it because I’m an elf?”

“What?”

Pete rolls his eyes, “are you afraid I’ll get hurt because I’m an elf? Because you think I’m less of a person than you?”

“That’s not it at all! I just don’t want you getting hurt.”

“Gerard,” Patrick interjects, “it’s not really up to you whether he comes or not. If you say no, Pete can just follow us.”

“Exactly!” Pete says, smiling at Patrick. He’s starting to like Patrick better than this Gerard character, but he sees Gerard’s point. He just doesn’t want to be stuck here, alone. He doesn’t want to wait here with all this fear leading his day and night. He’s always on edge, like prey when a larger animal is about. He just wants to be free of this town where all he ever sees are faces of those who he’ll never see again. It hurts too much being here.

“You’ve got to learn to let other people help you,” Patrick says.

“It’s not that I don’t want people’s help, it’s that I don’t want to get them hurt,” Gerard says.

“Please!” Pete begs.

“No, Pete.”

“Oh come on. You have to let me come with!” Pete says, and though it sounds more like a plea than an order, the wording stings Gerard anyway. It’s still an order. It’s still something that he has to obey.

“Fine,” Gerard says looking completely broken about his own words. He won’t be able to live with himself, or die peacefully, knowing that he got both of these people hurt. 

Pete looks taken aback by the way Gerard says it. He sensed the tone, how completely helpless it sounded. Pete’s starting to think that there’s something very off about Gerard that he isn’t telling him. Not just him, Pete thinks that this something, whatever it may happen to be, even Patrick isn’t aware of.

“I’m sorry if that was rude,” Pete says, “you don’t have to take me with you, I just really want to go.”

Gerard sighs relief, feeling the order being retracted takes a weight off his shoulder. 

“I think you’ll need me though,” Pete says. “You couldn’t even read a map! You were going the wrong way; you’ll need me to help you.”

“We’ll manage,” Gerard says, “I’m sure of it.”

“I can’t read a map at all,” Patrick says. It’s a lie. He can read a map, but Gerard won’t let him have the book so he hasn’t gotten the chance to show him that. But this is a small glimmer of hope that Gerard will allow Pete to accompany them, so he’ll follow this thread wherever.

“We’re not hopeless,” Gerard says, though he knows that he is bad at reading a map, he can never understand which direction is which.

“So maybe you don’t need me to read the map, but I still want more than anything to come,” Pete pleads. 

“And I still don’t want you to get hurt.”

Pete pauses for a moment, trying to think of something that might get across to Gerard what it is his mind is trying to verbalize. He’s not sure there are words for why he needs to leave. He just does. He needs to leave and there’s nothing he can do that can translate just how much.

“Gerard, this town, it’s like a curse,” Pete says, and Gerard’s ears spark at the word. _Curse_. It’s such a small word that has such an utter hold on his life.

“A curse?” Gerard questions.

“Everywhere I go, god, all I see are scared people. All I see are the faces of my family, and my friends, before they were… you know. Everyone fears it. It’s such a defining characteristic of this town, we’re all afraid. We’re all afraid of being taken, and being slaves, and it could happen at any time. Sometimes we know beforehand when they’re coming, sometimes we don’t. My family, they were taken by surprise. I’m afraid that the same will happen to me,” Pete says.

“Pete, I just-”

“I was with a friend when it happened,” Pete goes on, trying to get Gerard to sympathize with him. “We were just out, and there was no warning that they were coming. They usually come at night. This time they came at midday. I got home for lunch and they were just gone. All of them. All of my family had been taken. The tea kettle was whistling. They never even got to take it away from the fire.”

“Well if you were trying to depress him into letting you come, I think that would’ve done the trick,” Patrick says, frowning.

“Pete, I don’t know how to say this any other way, but you don’t get it. You will get hurt and your blood will be on my hands.”

“Can you not understand how awful it is to have a curse define your whole life?” Pete asks. Gerard doesn’t know how to respond to that, because of course he does. Of course he knows what it’s like for a curse to warp his entire life. His whole life revolves around this curse. It’s not just a quirk about him, it’s his entire life. 

Gerard sighs, but he knows that Pete’s already won. He can’t say no to someone when he knows precisely what they feel like. He knows that it’s a gut fear. It comes from your gut and it makes your entire body feel stale and broken. It’s the worst feeling in the world. Gerard’s sure that being stabbed with a sword would hurt less then when you can feel your fear conquer even your heart. Even your fingertips and toes feel it. It’s such a painful thing to feel, and Gerard can’t be the guy who allows it to happen to someone else when he’s on this whole quest just so he can escape that same thing.

“As long as you don’t slow us down,” Gerard concedes, and he doesn’t even need to finish his sentence before Pete is practically hopping in place with excitement. “And you have to carry your weight, share the load, or whatever.”

“Absolutely!” Pete assures, “anything. Hell, I’ll carry you if it means I can come with.”

“You’re starting to grow as a person,” Patrick says quietly. 

“Then fine,” Gerard says.

“I should also probably be the one with the map,” Pete says, holding a hand out for the book that he thinks is just a book. Gerard is wary of handing Mikey over to anyone, and it doesn’t help any that he barely knows Pete. He lost Mikey once, and it took him years to see him again. He is not so anxious to just let other people hold this book.

“I’ll carry it, you can look at it, but I’ll hold it,” Gerard says, opening up the book to show Pete the map. He looks at it for a couple of moments before he points in the direction they should start going. Gerard notices immediately that the direction Pete points to is the one that he had been heading towards when Pete had stopped them.

“You told me we were going the wrong way!” Gerard says, looking confused.

“I lied,” Pete grins, walking ahead of them with a mischievous twinge in his eye.

“Cheeky fucker,” Gerard says, shaking his head.

“Hurry up!” Pete says, and Gerard’s feet instantly spark into action at the order. Patrick doesn’t notice the prompt reaction following Pete’s order, but Pete is not so unaware. It’s just a theory for now, but it’s enough to tell him to keep an eye on Gerard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd ask you to leave a comment but that would be reacting™. But leave a comment anyway if you liked it.


	19. Danger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sure death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who finally changed her icon?

“Are we there yet?” Patrick asks, for the fifth time in the last ten minutes.

“We’re literally ten feet away from where we were last time you asked.”

“How about now, are we there yet?” Patrick asks.

“I’m starting to regret wanting to come with you guys,” Pete says.

“It’s not too late to go back,” Gerard says hopefully.

“Not that much,” Pete says. Pete evaluates Gerard as he walks along beside him, Patrick a couple feet back because he’s miraculously shorter than Pete and thus has shorter legs. 

“What?” Gerard asks, not liking the feeling of having someone’s eyes on him.

“I know we just met but I feel like something’s up with you,” Pete says.

“Yeah, a lot of things. I’m the furthest I’ve ever been from home and I’m terrified about what I’m going to find when I get to where I’m going.”

“It makes no sense, this quest of yours. Why is it that you cannot tell the purpose of it?” 

“I literally can’t,” Gerard says. “I’m trying to find a fairy, because he… we had a run in a long long time ago and I need his help.”

“His help specifically?” Pete asks, “is there no other fairy who can assist you?” 

“No, it has to be him,” Gerard says.

“So it’s something that this fairy in particular is responsible for,” Pete concludes. Gerard doesn’t give him a response, just continues walking and looks back at Patrick, who, Gerard’s not sure he’s seeing things right, looks jealous. Gerard can’t think of a good reason for why Patrick might be jealous of him right now.

“So Pete,” Patrick says, catching up and creating enough space for him to stand between Gerard and Pete, like he’s trying to get Gerard further away from Pete. 

“Yes?”

“What do you hope to find in Giantville that you can’t find at home?” Patrick asks.

“Nothing really, as I’ve said. It’s more about wanting to get away from it all. I would just like to have an adventure once in my life.”

“What do you wish to do after?”

“Well, I wish more than anything to be reunited with my family of course. And to be free. That’s all anybody really wants, isn’t it? Freedom.”

“Freedom is the only thing people hope for at night when they think someone might be listening,” Gerard says. “If only it was something that was within reason to achieve.”

“You sound as though you’ve experienced the heavy hand of subjugation yourself?” Pete asks, wondering what it is that Gerard is hiding, because he’s sure there is something. There’s probably many somethings.

“I’m the unwanted leftovers of selfish people,” Gerard says. “My father cares very little for me, and my stepmother sees me as a servant and nothing else. To my ungrateful step sisters, I’m a rag, and these labels are ones I cannot escape. Among others.”

“Maybe running away is the only solution,” Pete offers.

“You can’t run away from troubles that will follow you across the globe,” Gerard sighs. He wishes he could say what his real handicap is. He wishes he could tell Patrick, and maybe even Pete, all about his curse. He wishes for so many things. He wishes his brother weren’t trapped inside a book, wishes his mother wasn’t dead, wishes not to be attracted to Frank or at least wishes Frank weren’t the product of a man as vile as Edgar. He wishes to be free, to make his own choices. Sometimes the chokehold this curse has on him feels tighter than usual, and it’s been getting tighter recently. As he ages, it becomes more and more unfortunate. One of these days it’s going to strangle him completely. 

“If you do find what you’re looking for, what do you hope to get out of it?” Pete asks Gerard, and he’s not entirely sure. He hasn’t thought much about what it must be like without this curse. It’s not something that he thinks about too often because he knows if he does, he’ll get his hopes up. He supposes that he’ll have free reign of his own life for the first time. He can do whatever he wants, whenever he wants, and not worry about other people telling him not to. He won’t have to worry about people telling him to do this, or to do that. It’s almost too good to be real. All that freedom, he feels like he could drown in it, and yet it’s all he wants. He _wants_ the anxiety of not knowing what his future has in store for him. He _wants_ the pressure. Because at least, whatever mistakes he makes, whatever roads he travels, they’ll be _his_ decisions. 

“Someone ask me what I want out of life,” Patrick says, and Gerard’s brain receives it as an order so he asks Patrick exactly that. “I don’t really know, I just wanted to be included.”

“I don’t really have plans for my future either,” Pete says, “it’s hard to make plans when you know that whatever you wish for isn’t possible.”

“I feel like there’s got to be-” Patrick starts but Pete stops him before he can say more.

“What’s wrong Pete?” Gerard asks.

“Be quiet for a fucking minute,” Pete hisses at him. Gerard’s mouth feels like it glues shut at the order, and his anger with Pete starts to grow a little bit.

Pete looks into the woods in front of them, looking terrified of something that neither Patrick or Gerard are aware of. As an elf, Pete’s ears are slightly more sensitive, and he’s sure he just heard the snapping of a twig not too far away. There’s someone else here. 

“What are we-” Patrick starts and Pete steps on his foot. “Ow!”

Pete looks at Patrick with absolute terror in his eyes, and Gerard rolls his eyes, because he knows that he’s paranoid, everyone is, but Pete’s taking it to a new level. It’s a forest, there are other things here. Deer, squirrels, chipmunks, birds, bunnies, and other animals are all sharing the space with them. 

Or at least Gerard thinks that it’s simply a chipmunk, at worst, a man eating chipmunk, until a very large figure steps out from a tree in front of them, and Gerard’s heart stops completely for all of several seconds, as his eyes widen and almost bulge out of his head.

Before him stands a creature Gerard has never seen with his own two eyes, but he’s no fool, because the second he lays his eyes on the figure casting the shadow twelve times the size of Gerard’s, he knows exactly what it is.

They have come face to face with an ogre.

“Fuck,” Gerard says, feeling his voice come back to him, only now it sounds empty and meager. He’s pretty much about to faint, but he’s trying to resist the urge because he’ll only die faster that way.

The ogre is humanoid given its two arms and two legs, but aside from that, similarities stop there. It’s a bulky creature, made of only fat and sinew, with deep blue skin like a splotch of black ink on parchment. His head is large, as is his stature, and everything about him screams terror. Gerard’s not sure if his mass can be credited more to his muscles or his fat, but to be honest, when you eat entire humans, deer, and cattle, it probably accumulates quite easily. 

This is why Gerard had put off doing something like this for all his life. All this time, he never even ventured too far into the woods because of the rampant legends of ogres in these parts.

Gerard practically grew up on urban legends about how a mean old ogre ate some little old ladies kid. Stories like that, they spread through the youth of every town in the entire kingdom, so there’s no shortness in prejudice towards ogre’s, but there’s never been laws forbidding them from entering human colonized towns before Edgar. There’s never been any restriction of ogre’s rights compared with humans before Edgar at all.

There are stories of ogre’s killing humans from before Edgar’s reign, there always have been, but no more so then there are stories of men killing other men. Ogre’s have until recently been peaceful creatures, and yet here Gerard stands cowering in fear at the sight of one.

Sure, Gerard will tell you that he’s not really afraid of ogre’s, that he stands for their rights so he must not be afraid of them, he’ll never stop saying it, but that doesn’t make it true. Because, Gerard does believe that there is good in them, he honestly does believe that they have the same amount of humanity in them as any human, elf, or giant, but that doesn’t mean he’s not afraid. The adversity that ogre’s have seen, especially as of late, has seen the rise in violence among the ogre’s and honestly, Gerard can’t say that he blames them. He would hate man too if they’d pushed him out of his home, and criminalized them, but empathizing with that doesn’t mean that they’re not going to try to kill him. Gerard is after all, a human. He is the species that has made their lives difficult in the first place. 

“Three little humans,” the Ogre says slowly, in a deep, booming sort of voice that would strike fear in the most courageous of hearts. Patrick, who is easily the most fearful of the three, is practically shitting himself in fear. 

Gerard’s got a million things running through his mind, most of them along the lines of the fact that he is a murderer. If Pete and Patrick die here, he is the one who killed them. It will be his fault. Their deaths will be on him, and even if he’s dead, he will never be at peace with that fact. It will be his fault and his memory wouldn’t be able to take it. If Gerard kills either of these two men by association, he would have his entire existence wiped from history, because he doesn’t want anyone to remember his name, doesn’t want anyone to remember he ever lived if he causes any harm to two people who don’t deserve it. 

“Are you lost?” The Ogre asks, “you are trespassing on my forest.”

Gerard wants to sound strong and grounded when he speaks, but it comes out as a whimper, and he can’t stop his own stutter, “w-we’re ever so sorry. We’ll be g-going then.”

“So soon?” the Ogre says, “why don’t you stay for a while?’

“We should really be going,” Patrick says in a voice so high, Gerard barely recognizes it. 

“Not often do I find humans wondering through my forest,” the Ogre says, and Gerard does not like his tone, because these words could really be harmless, but when he says them like that, well Gerard expects that he’s going to ask to have them for dinner soon. _For_ dinner. 

“We didn’t mean to bother you,” Gerard says hurriedly, “r-really, we should get out of your way.”

The ogre sneers, evilly, and Gerard notices his pointed teeth. He’d hate to find out why his teeth are so pointed.

“We don’t mean you any harm!” Gerard says, “I-I, personally, s-stand up for ogre rights, I don’t think poorly of you. I j-just want to pass through, that’s all. We don’t want to inconvenience you, or… or anything.”

“Inconvenience?” the Ogre says, “I don’t find it an inconvenience at all. I like it when my dinner is so eager to please.”

Patrick makes a weak squeaking sound and grabs Pete’s hand, starts to cower, almost as if he’s trying to hide behind him. Gerard doesn’t blame him in any way, because a minute ago this guy might have just had a deceptively malicious tone, but now he’s eyeing them as dinner, which is probably the most terrifying thing anyone can tell you aside from the blatant confession that they are about to kill you. 

“Is that entirely necessary?” Gerard says, “I mean we never meant you any harm, and we still don’t.”

“Humans always lie,” the Ogre says, which is not an entirely inaccurate statement. 

“Okay, sure, by all means, you can kill me, that’s fine, I mean it’s not ideal, but I’ll accept it. But really, you don’t need to hurt them,” Gerard says gesturing to Patrick and Pete, “they are completely innocent, and in fact, wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for me, this is all my fault, you should take it out on me, not them.”

Pete starts nodding, because he doesn’t want to die, and he’s not ashamed to admit it. He’ll let Gerard sacrifice himself for his life, because Pete has known him for about a day, and so far he’s been rude, dishonest, and tried to run away from him. Pete’s not entirely okay with it, because despite all of that he likes Gerard, but he doesn’t value Gerard more than his own life. 

“I don’t think you’re in the place to be bartering with me,” the Ogre says, and he makes a hand gesture that Gerard doesn’t understand, but then again, Gerard doesn’t speak ogre, or know anything about their culture.

He considers running away, but he doesn’t think that would be a good idea, given that he’s not very fast, he doesn’t know this land at all so would therefore have no idea where he’s running, and Ogre’s tend to travel in packs. 

Nevertheless, Gerard’s instinct is to back up, not necessarily in an attempt to run, but because he doesn’t want to be so near the Ogre who is going to kill him. That’s when Gerard bumps into something behind him, but it’s warmth and squishiness alert him a second too late that the something is actually a someone. 

Gerard screams, a very feminine and very cowardly scream that disrupts the perch of birds in the trees above them. He can’t help it. He’s about to die. His blood is curdling and his heart is made of chalk. He can’t describe the unimaginable, unfathomable, profound fear that he’s about to die.

The Ogre laughs at that, and Gerard’s fear levels go up exponentially when one of the Ogre’s who just appeared out of nowhere grabs ahold of him, and when he looks to the side he sees another has grabbed both Pete and Patrick. 

“Please,” Gerard says with so much desperation he practically cries, “we never intended to in anyway bother you. We just wanted to get to Giantville, we don’t mean any harm.”

“Stop talking,” the original ogre says, and Gerard’s mouth is completely devoid of words at the order. He opens his mouth, and he articulates the words, he does everything he needs to in order to talk, but the words don’t come out. His voice is just gone. 

Great, so Gerard is about to die, he’s being incapacitated by a creature that’s at least seven feet tall, and he cannot speak a single word.

The whole not dying thing here is going to be extremely difficult. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look who finally updated! I appreciate comments more than you know, so please consider commenting.


	20. Pinkish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone needs a knight in shining armor.

So maybe it’s like, a retribution thing because Gerard did sort of laugh at Pete when he was hanging upside down from that tree. Not in a mean way, more in a, that guy’s hanging upside down in a tree, that’s a pretty amusing sight, sort of way.

Maybe that is why Gerard finds himself hanging from a tree, though luckily, not upside down. The ogre’s, of which there are four, had fought for some time about who they were going to eat first, and Gerard drew the short straw. Actually, he drew the tall straw. They’re killing him first because the other two are smaller than he is. It makes sense, Gerard’s not going to say the ogre’s are dumb or anything, especially not when his life is held in the palms of their hands, but that doesn’t mean Gerard wants to be an entrée. He doesn’t want to be an appetizer or dessert either, but thank god he’s not a palate cleanser.

They tied Patrick and Pete to a tree, leaving Mikey’s book lying precariously on the dirt at the base of the roots of the tree. Gerard doesn’t know what exactly is going to happen to Mikey. If all three of them are gone, what happens to Mikey? Does Mikey just lie on the ground for the rest of eternity, with no company, nothing to do, just sitting there? Maybe someone will find him someday, but if so, how long from now? He could be there for years, and Gerard doesn’t have any idea how miserable and lonely that would be. 

Or maybe the ogre’s will take Mikey with them. Then what? Will Mikey pop up? Will he just hide and pretend to be an ordinary book with no words printed on his pages? Will he talk to them and spook them? What if the ogres decide he’s of no use and decide to burn him as kindling? What happens to Mikey if his book is burned? Does he die with it? 

There’s so many questions that Gerard has for the fate of himself, and the people he cares most about, and unfortunately, apart from Ray who’s dozens of miles away, all the people who he cares about are right here. There’s only four people he actually gives a damn about, and three of them have their lives on the line right now, and it’s all Gerard’s fault.

He knew he should never have done this. He put this off for so long because he knew this exact thing might happen. He knew this was a danger. He was aware that this could happen even while he was safe in his own home, why did he willingly walk out in the open, practically baiting ogres with a sign that says ‘come eat me’? How could Gerard be so stupid? 

Gerard’s going to die here. He’s going to be bones and nothing else, just lying in the dirt, waiting to decay as the sunlight turns him to dust. He’s just going to be a memory in the minds of too many people who will remember him as a failure, and in some cases, a murderer. What will Patrick’s family think? What will Ray think of him? Will Ray just shake his head and move on with his life without Gerard? What will he tell Gerard’s father? Will he even care?

Gerard can’t fathom all of the questions running through his mind right now, he doesn’t know what he wants right now. He doesn’t know if he’d rather escape right now or die and be put out of his misery. He can’t believe that this is actually happening though. He’s actually going to die, and he’s going to die being responsible for the deaths of at least two other people, not accounting for the unknown fate of Mikey. They’re all just going to be ogre food and that’ll be it. That will be the only impact they’ve left on this planet. 

Gerard looks down at the fire being started below him, and it makes his heart seize up. He doesn’t want to die like this. Honestly, he would have preferred it if his death came about forty years after this, maybe more. He doesn’t want to die young, and he surely doesn’t want to die as a main course, there’s nothing more demeaning and ugly as that. 

Gerard thinks that he might puke. He might just throw up his internal organs and die like that. He wretches a little at the thought, but it’s not helping. He’ll only die in a more demeaning way if he were to puke. He can’t figure out what he wants ideally right now.

Probably, he’d just like to die quickly and painlessly, but that’s not going to happen. He’s going to get burned the fuck alive and it’s going to hurt a fuck ton, but there’s nothing he can do. He’s just dangling from a tree, mute, and really depressed. 

This isn’t how he had envisioned his day going. Ideally, they’d be a little over half way to Giantville by the end of today. Maybe he and Pete would have found some common ground. Maybe Gerard would randomly walk into Brendon in the middle of nowhere. He doesn’t know, anything should have happened today. Anything at all in the entire world. Anything but this.

“I don’t know about you, but like, I could really go for a knight in shining armor right around now,” Pete says to Patrick.

“Shut Up,” one of the orcs says. The one who had originally confronted them, they have discovered, is called Nish, and he’s sort of the ring leader of the group. He’s the most brutish, the fattest, ugliest, and the largest. That doesn’t take away from the fact that they’re all huge though.

“But really,” Pete says, “I thought they were more common than this, my childhood had led me to believe that knights in shining armor grew on trees. Like, what if I get kidnapped by a dragon? Is the world trying to tell me that they just won’t come? They’re rare? What’s a guy gotta do to apply for one of them in his life?”

“First of all, dragons aren’t real, and second, you need to be a damsel in distress to get a knight to come rescue you,” Patrick replies.

“Oh,” Pete says, “Well maybe my knight is open to negotiation.”

“Pete, I’d be your knight if I weren’t tied to a tree,” Patrick says. 

“Aw, you’d do that for me?” Pete says.

“I can say I would, doesn’t mean I really would cause I’ll never have to prove it,” Patrick shrugs.

“That’s so sweet,” Pete says, before frowning again when he remembers that he’s going to die. He can flirt with Patrick all he wants; he’s still going to die soon.

Gerard, still feeling sick, looks at the ogres who are arguing with each other about something. It’s something that Gerard’s sure would piss him off right now if he could hear it. Probably something about what seasoning to use while eating him. It’s very rude, whatever it is. So is killing him, though, to be fair. 

Gerard’s heart has given up pretty much all hope he had had a few hours ago. A few days ago, he was miserable, never left the comfort of what he knew, always struck petrified at the mere thought of his curse. He could barely muster up the energy to face other people, knowing that any one of them could demand this or that from him. 

Yesterday, Gerard maybe started to feel hopeful. He’s not entirely sure. He’s not really sure what hope feels like. He thinks that was the only thing that gave him the courage to do so much as step out his front door. He was so afraid, he is still so afraid, now for a better reason. But he had hope. He had a semblance of something that might be considered an actual life for all of a day. 

Now he’s going to die though. He’s going to die having really lived only a day in his life. 

Except maybe some of the other moments were his life too.

Meeting Patrick for the first time, that was life. Laughing with Ray over something stupid, feeling careless because Ray would never do anything to hurt him, that was life. Gossiping with Patrick about all their annoying classmates, that was life. Meeting Frank, not actually hating him, that was life. 

Maybe Gerard has done a little more living than he gives himself credit for. Except now, he’s done living. Now he’s going to die. That’s just how life is sometimes, he supposes. Sometimes it just ends and you don’t get a say in it.

Gerard is actually close to making peace with his death, almost on the verge of being close to sort of, kind of making a little tiny bit of peace. He’s almost there when his thoughts are interrupted by an enormous clattering noise from below him.

Gerard’s not entirely sure what happens in the five seconds that time seems to have stopped in, but he does know that in those five seconds he went from being suspended from a tree above a fire, to being strewn across the ground with an aching in his back like he just, well, like he just fell from a large height onto his back. And even more surprising, he’s not on fire, which means that he didn’t fall into the fire pit, which is ideal when falling from a tree.

“Now that’s what I call a knight in shining armor,” Pete says loudly from somewhere in a direction that Gerard cannot pinpoint since his head is trying to find any amount of stability to stop his vision from blurring. It takes a several moments for his eyes to focus, and he knows he’s going to have a headache later. Though, a headache is better than death.

Gerard is aware of the fact that there is someone who’s practically on top of him, trying to find their own balance while Gerard tries to push them off. He doesn’t want anyone climbing around on top of him, no one at all. Well, maybe one person.

He’s not positive what just happened but he hears fighting and yelling and ogres speaking in a language Gerard’s never heard. Then he hears something he hadn’t been expecting.

“You okay?” a familiar voice asks, and when Gerard looks up he cannot actually believe what he’s seeing. He cannot believe this is happening again, honestly. Once, alright, twice, a little odd, but three times? Three? _Three goddamn times_? No one just runs into royalty three times on accident.

This man may or may not be the one person that Gerard wouldn’t mind having climb on top of him.

Frank’s arrival is met with a chorus of bells in Gerard’s head, because Frank’s presence means that he just might survive this. He might actually come out of this without any blood on his hands, and if that ends up being the case, then he is going to have a lot of trouble trying to hate Frank.

Gerard wants to say something, but he actually can’t. He still can’t talk. He just looks at Frank with huge doe eyes that are making Frank melt. It’s really anyone’s guess who’s more surprised to see the other. Frank’s very much surprised but he’s not complaining. Gerard’s agog with shock, and the fact that he’s not upset or angry about it, but rather a little excited, that’s what makes him nervous. He’d much rather be brimming with hate for this man right now than in his current state of something verging on glee.

“Tell me if you’re okay,” he says, and Gerard is usually angry at an order but for that he just might kiss this man. He won’t, but he’s grateful nevertheless.

“What the fuck!” Gerard says loudly, not fully aware of what’s going on around him. When he looks up, he sees that Frank has some actual, real knights with him. Gerard’s kind of digging the idea of meeting knights if he’s being honest. He has no dexterity whatsoever, and could never actually be a knight, but who’s he kidding, knights are fucking cool. 

“Save the formalities for when you’re not in mortal peril,” Frank says, grinning as he stands up and pulls out a knife from his pocket which he then uses to free Gerard from the ropes around his arms. “Find your friends, and try to stay safe.”

Gerard, again, doesn’t find the order too hard to deal with because those were his thoughts exactly. He runs to the tree where Pete and Patrick had been tied to, which they have presumably been set loose from, because they are now hiding behind it. When he sees them hiding, looking terrified, amazed, and grateful, he sprints to join them, eager to get away from the action. He grabs the book that the ogres had thrown at the roots of the tree, and holds it in a death grip, not allowing anything to hurt it. Mikey will not get hurt while Gerard has something to say about it.

“Thank god,” Patrick says when he sees Gerard, embracing him quickly before pulling Gerard behind their tree, which he supposes is their shield. Gerard evaluates him and Pete for a moment to make sure they’re alright and he notices that Patrick is a bright pink. That could be from adrenaline but he’s not so sure. He’s sure he missed something and he has to try to remember to figure out what it is. Upon further inspection, he notices Pete’s looking a little pink too.

Gerard counts four knights, not including Frank, and they’re pretty much terrorizing the camp that the ogres had set up. They’ve got their swords which they don’t seem to be using as weapons so much as they’re using them to try to intimidate the ogres, who, by all means, are intimidated. There’s six horses as well, though their riders are all on the ground. One horse seems only to be holding luggage, and one is a majestic, kingly white horse that Gerard would bet big money is the one Frank rides. He bets Frank probably looks like the royalty he is when riding that horse, it’s almost _too_ glamorous.

The action of the clearing is nearly too quick to take in. Less than a minute ago, Gerard was hanging from a tree facing sure death, now he’s watching Frank, the fucking prince, driving off the ogres who were trying to kill him. Frank is saving his life. This fucking ass that Gerard has insulted so much that he can’t even comprehend it, is saving his life. If their roles were reversed, Gerard’s not sure he’d save Frank with all the shit that he’s said to the man. It’s a real testament to Frank’s character.

Gerard can’t believe he’s run into Frank again, it may not be a huge kingdom, but it’s bigger than this. No one just _runs_ into the prince. No one runs into the prince _twice_. Three times is starting to get eerie. Gerard’s trying to rationalize with himself that it has to be a coincidence, because he does not want to allow himself to believe that its fate.

Gerard’s not an idiot though, it’s got to be fate. No one runs into the prince this much, you barely run into commoners this much without intent to do so, but all three times have been accidents and that just doesn’t happen. Some other hand has a role in this and as much as Gerard would like to deny it, that doesn’t change the facts.

The question then becomes why it’s fate. Why is Gerard fated to run into Frank? What is it that destiny wants them to do, and why does destiny require them to be together for whatever it is that needs to be done?

As Gerard watches, he notices anything and everything about Frank. He can’t seem to take his eyes off of him, barely even registering the knights. Frank looks much the same, wearing fancy clothes that cost about the same amount as Gerard’s house, and he’s obnoxiously attractive like usual. Not that Gerard is thinking about him in that way, even though he most definitely is, but he’ll deny it anyway. Frank looks like a real hero, a man worthy to be a prince with his stance right now, sword high, look of determination on his face, and hair askew, sticking to his forehead from perspiration. You wouldn’t think it would look all that mighty, but there’s something about Frank that just mesmerizes others. 

Nish, the head ogre, watches as his friends or whatever the hell they are to him, Gerard’s not sure, flee. He watches them run, not looking back to see if he’s alright. They bumble with wobbles and a lack of balance, but they’re fast. Nish is the only one who remains, looking at the five men who have driven away his company like it was nothing. 

One of Frank’s men, Gerard can’t tell what he looks like because his back is to him, raises his sword above Nish, preparing to strike, and that’s when Gerard knows he can’t stand back to allow something that he knows is wrong.

“Stop!” Gerard hollers, at the top of his voice, running out from behind the tree. The man raising his sword, pauses and turns to look at Gerard.

“You haven’t a reason to hurt him, he’s defenseless,” Gerard says. The knight doesn’t put down his sword quite yet, but Gerard’s death glare could intimidate even the ogre he’s defending. 

“Gerard,” Frank interjects, “he did just try to kill you.”

“Forgive me for not being so petty,” Gerard says, and he glares at the man with the sword long enough for him to put it away, back into the sheath. He’s a somewhat tall man, not unattractive, but not the most dazzling of the group if Frank happens to be standing right next to him. Though in all fairness, Gerard is biased even though he’s trying as hard as he can to hate the damn man.

Gerard turns to the ogre, part of him wanting to see him dead, but most of him remembering just how much he empathizes with him. Gerard’s a black sheep, he’s an outcast. He doesn’t fit in with the society that he’s trapped in, and he’s a slave to it, just like Nish is. 

“Go,” Gerard says to him, the ogre looks mad and angry, but he stands without protest. “Just run. I don’t ask for anything from you, just that you consider the fact that I could have let you die. Do with that knowledge what you will.”

Nish looks skeptical but he starts skulking away hesitantly until he decides that he’s safe to start running and catch up with the other ogres. After a few moments of his eyes following the ogre, Frank looks back at Gerard and has a heart clenching feeling of adoration just by looking at him.

Gerard looks at some of the faces of the knights now that he can see them, and notices now that one is actually a girl, which surprises him. According to the law, women can’t actually be knights, which makes Gerard question some of the things he’d thought about Frank, because he suspects that Frank had something to do with it. She’s actually quite pretty if you’re into all that, which Gerard, though he hasn’t come to terms with it yet, is not. Nor is Frank.

Then Gerard’s eyes fall upon Frank, who is staring straight back at him, right into his eyes like he’s trying to see through to Gerard’s soul, and it makes his stomach feel kind of weird, the way Frank’s looking at him. Not bad weird, just weird. 

“Nice to see you again, your highness,” Frank says with a shit-eating grin and now Gerard’s the one who turns pink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's a day early, but I just want to say, happy Dan Howell's birthday. Also, since I last updated, I have actually met Dan and Phil so my life goal is complete. Please leave a comment!


	21. Knights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is a matchmaker.

“How is it that you have found yourself in the middle of nowhere dangling your life on a string?” Frank asks, not even bothering to tell the four very curious looking knights around him how on earth he could possibly know this man.

“Technically it was a rope,” Gerard replies.

“Pardon my folly,” Frank says. 

“We… got lost?” Gerard offers.

“Sure you did,” Frank nods, turning to look at Patrick who he feels is more trustworthy, and he probably is.

“That sounds about right, yeah,” Patrick says, “We just, uh, were chasing a bunny.”

“Yeah,” Gerard continues, “chased a bunny.”

“For twenty miles?” Frank asks.

“It was a damn cute bunny.”

“Who’s your friend?” Frank asks, looking at Pete, who feels very weird having the prince look at him. Pete had no idea what the prince looked like, he’s never heard anything about his appearance other than that the prince is good looking. He would not have guessed from any distance that this man could be a prince though. He would have thought that the prince would at least be a couple of inches taller than him. Pete is fairly sure that the prince is the same height as himself. The prince could literally pass as an elf. 

“I’m the bunny,” Pete says, and Patrick hits him in the side.

“Pardon him, he’s a bit of an idiot,” Patrick says.

“I’m Pete,” Pete says. Frank nods to him in acknowledgement before turning back to Gerard.

“So what brings you here on this fine day to the middle of nowhere?” Gerard asks, trying to sound casual, and failing abysmally. 

“Yeah,” Frank nods, not even bothering to answer him. “So where exactly are you trying to go?”

“Giantville,” Pete says, answering for Gerard, which pisses him off, because Gerard would have left that part out. His goal was to try to avoid Frank at all costs. It’s not working very well.

“For what purpose?” Frank asks.

“That much I can’t say,” Gerard replies, “Now, if you’ll excuse us, we’ll be on our way.”

Gerard starts to walk around Frank, which entails walking through the complete strangers who just saved his life, but he avoids their eye contact firmly, only looking straight ahead. Gerard may not be good at avoiding the prince, but if there is one thing he is good at, it is making an idiot of himself.

“Not so fast,” Frank says, and when Gerard doesn’t stop walking he says, “Gerard, stop.”

Gerard groans, looks up at the sky as if to curse off a deity, and then turns back to look at Frank, waiting for his feet to unstick themselves from the spot where they are now glued.

“What is it?” Gerard asks.

“You can’t expect me to let you just walk away after you almost got yourself killed, can you?”

“I guess I got my hopes up.”

“Why are you going to Giantville?” Frank asks him.

“It’s not of your concern.”

“It is now that I know you’re willing to die for whatever task it is you’re trying to accomplish.”

“I’m looking for someone,” Gerard says. 

“Who?” 

“Just someone.”

“Why do you seek them?”

“I can’t tell you that.”

“Why not?”

Gerard shrugs, “I simply cannot.”

“He won’t tell us either,” Patrick says.

“I can’t,” Gerard says, wishing they would understand. He would tell them if he could, it’s not that he won’t tell them, he literally can’t.

“Well, you’re the same cryptic and yet oddly assertive man I met originally then, aren’t you?” Frank says, looking at least done with questioning Gerard for the time being. Gerard’s still stuck to the ground though.

“So can we be on our way?” Gerard asks.

“You’re not seriously suggesting that I leave you to go back into this forest by yourself are you?” Frank asks. “You did almost just die. Like five minutes ago. You were almost dead.”

“Fuck,” Gerard says decisively.

“Um, sir?” one of Frank’s knight asks, looking skeptical.

“Oh, shit, sorry,” Frank says, “introductions, sorry.”

“It’s fine, I don’t really care-” Gerard starts.

“Manners,” Patrick hisses at him.

“I care so much, please enthrall me,” Gerard corrects himself, dripping sarcasm.

Frank first introduces the girl, whom he calls Hayley, and honestly she looks the most intimidating of the lot of them, Gerard doesn’t want to piss her off in the slightest. Her hair is a bright red, almost an unnatural color which Gerard is fascinated by, and she’s definitely beautiful, but Gerard’s not sure why he doesn’t find himself very attracted to her. 

Next is arguably the most attractive man Gerard has ever seen in his entire fucking life, and he almost forgets what Frank looks like because this guy is literally that pretty. Now, Gerard’s got somewhat of an emotional connection with Frank at this point, and destiny is being a prick and forcing them together, so Gerard wouldn’t necessarily say he prefers this man to Frank, but he’s a looker nonetheless. Frank calls him Travie, and he smiles at Gerard, the only expression beyond neutral on any of their faces.

The next two aren’t exactly similar looking but they’ve got the same hair which means that Gerard’s not going to have an easy time remembering their names so he’s going to avoid using them. One is called Alex, the other is Ryan, but only seconds after Gerard is told this information, he promptly forgets who is who.

“Why are we getting all chummy if I’m going to run away from you the second that I get the chance?” Gerard asks.

“Because I know where you’re going. I might as well escort you there, it’s only a half days ride out of the way.”

“We’ve still got a nearly three days ride to the castle,” Hayley reminds him.

“They can wait,” Frank shrugs.

“That’s so nice of you,” Pete says, “gosh, I don’t know where you get off calling him a dick, Gerard, he’s quite nice.” Gerard blushes a bright pink, burning the tips of his ears because he can feel everyone, even the strangers, looking at him. These are Frank’s fucking knights whose livelihoods revolve around protecting Frank and the kingdom. And now they know Gerard thinks Frank is a dick. 

“We really can’t afford to waste any more time-” the knight who Gerard guesses is possibly Ryan starts.

“Nonsense, what’s going to happen in a day? The sky will fall?” Frank asks. “Gerard and I go way back, and he’s already almost gotten himself killed. It would be irresponsible of me, as a prince, to allow him to continue on without aid.”

“Oh, that’s how you’re going to spin it,” Gerard groans.

“Gerard, on foot, you will not be to Giantville until tomorrow evening at the earliest, even then you’d have to run most of the way. On horseback, I can have you there before morning.”

Gerard considers this, and he can’t deny that it’s tempting. The soles of his feet are already aching, and his bones are heavy with weariness. Even the mere thought of sitting down for a couple of minutes is tempting, but to think that Frank is offering him the chance to not have to walk any more at all?

“Would you offer passage to my friends as well?” Gerard asks, because if Pete and Patrick are left out, then he’s surely not going to do that.

“Of course,” Frank says. 

“Ugh,” Gerard groans, “I wish you didn’t have to make this scenario sound so ideal so I could have the capacity to turn it down.”

“So is that a yes?” 

“It’s a very reluctant fine, but I’m complaining the whole way.”

Frank grins, “I would expect nothing less.”

Frank then tells the one that Gerard decided was Ryan to help him move the stuff from the horse holding only baggage to make room. 

“I’ve got it, sir,” he says.

“Nah, it’s fine,” Frank says, continuing to move it as the others stand awkwardly just sort of looking at their new company. Pete and Patrick are drifting closer together, like they want to make sure that if anyone tries to talk to them, the other will be there in case they make an idiot of themselves. 

Sometime in the last few minutes, Gerard’s feet have unstuck from the ground, but that doesn’t mean he really had anywhere he was trying to go. Now he’s just standing there feeling awkward but at least he can move his feet.

The girl, Hayley, turns to the leftover that Gerard supposes is Alex and tries to make things less uncomfortable by talking to him while Gerard, standing lonely and awkward, just watches everyone else doing their things.

Gerard turns to look around him, at the devastated camp around him and the tree where he’d, barely a few minutes ago, thought he would surely die. It seems like everything has happened so fast. He doesn’t even know how Frank found them. He doesn’t think he could thank Frank enough, and he hasn’t even thanked him once yet. 

When Gerard turns back, there’s a man standing right there, looking at him. It’s the pretty one, Gerard feels kind of intimidated being so close to him. He’s really hoping he doesn’t look as awful as he feels he does while standing next to this man.

“Hi, Gerard, right?” He says, “I’m Travie.”

“H-hi,” Gerard says, stuttering because he’s honestly at a loss for words, he’s never seen someone so gorgeous and it’s kind of unsettling.

“So how do you know the Prince?” he asks.

“We uh, I, he, uh… he got his f-foot stuck in an animal trap, I h-helped him out,” Gerard says.

“Oh, right, I heard about that. Well, I’ve heard nothing _but_ that actually,” Travie nods, and then looks over and shouts, “hey Hayley, this the guy!”

Hayley turns, looking curious, walking over to them. Gerard feels unending nerve at the prospect of Hayley, mostly because Gerard’s really never met anyone as pretty as she is who’s his age. He should be attracted to her, and he knows he should. He should be tripping over his feet for her, gagging on his own adoration, completely smitten. He doesn’t know a thing about her, but that’s what he knows he should feel. He’s supposed to be attracted to a girl as pretty as she is. But for some unknown reason, Frank’s face keeps popping up, getting in the way of those thoughts.

“You’re the guy?” she asks, strolling over to them with such swagger, Gerard could drool.

“I am?”

“The prince has talked of nothing but you for… well, days,” Travie says.

“Nearly two weeks,” Hayley adds, sounding tired merely thinking of it. 

“He has?” Gerard asks.

“It’s gotten quite annoying, in truth. I was starting to think you didn’t exist with the way he talks of you. He never told us your name so I figured you might just be a figment of his imagination.”

Gerard blushes furiously, he doesn’t know if what Frank has said is good or bad. “I do hope his words of me have not been negative.”

“Far from it,” Travie says, and he eyes Gerard like he knows something that Gerard doesn’t, and he probably does. Travie and Hayley share a look, like they’re having their own conversation with their eyes. Gerard doesn’t like it. He just wants to know what it is that everyone seems to know but him.

“I fear I cannot say the same. I have spoken nothing but ill of him, and I’m starting to question whether those words had any merit,” Gerard says, because honestly, Frank seems like a fucking peach. He seems to genuinely have a heart, care about others, and dedicated to correcting himself when he makes mistakes. It’s nauseatingly sweet.

“He’s a good man,” Travie says, “despite whatever it is he may be lacking in, whatever you see fit to hold against him, though I’m sure you have good reasons. There’s kindness in him, if not naiveté.” 

“He sees something in you, I’m not sure you could ever understand, or reciprocate it, but he certainly sees something,” Hayley says. Gerard’s not sure why the two of them seem hell-bent on talking up the prince to Gerard, like they want Gerard to feel something for the guy.

In truth, they just want Gerard to feel a semblance of the way that Frank feels for him. Frank’s falling hard, it’s been getting stronger every day, even with the absence of Gerard, and now that Gerard’s here, Frank might be completely lost. Gerard might be headed for a cliff.

“I do not understand what warrants it,” Gerard responds honestly, “I don’t want it to be said that I believe myself inferior to him, because it would be untrue, I just don’t know that I understand why it is that he thinks of me as an equal. He is royalty, is he not? I thought this would entail a superiority complex.”

“He’s got one, don’t worry,” Hayley says with a small laugh, “he’s just kind despite it. He does try to treat people as equals, but often forgets that he is privileged. It’s not intentional.”

“For a prince, I would say he is down to earth. For a regular person-”

“He can be a snob,” Hayley finishes.

Gerard watches Frank as he loads some of the stuff from one horse and moves it to other horses, clearing enough space for someone to ride the horse. Gerard doesn’t understand how it is that eight people are going to ride six horses, because he may not be that good at math, but he does see the flaw in that.

“That’s not to say he is all bad. Everyone is made up of vices and strengths. Frank is nothing if not genuine. He really wants to make himself a better person, and he wants to leave a good mark on the kingdom.”

“He doesn’t know what he’s doing though,” Gerard sighs.

“Does anyone?” Travie says.

“You should give him an open mind,” Hayley says, “at least for a while. Try to get to know him, but without decisions already made about what it is you expect to see. You might find yourself pleasantly surprised.”

“Maybe you’ll find it in yourself to amount half of the same feelings he has of you,” Travie says. “Though, it seems you might already by halfway there.”

“I don’t know why people keep assuming there’s more to how I feel for him than what is on the outside.”

“You just said it yourself,” Travie says.

“I said that I might not hate him. I never said that I in anyway liked him.”

“I assumed that it was implied,” Travie says.

“I don’t like him,” Gerard assures.

“If you want to keep telling yourself that,” Hayley shrugs.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It’s just that it’s really hard to hate Frank. He’s very kind, and very sincere. He genuinely wants to do what’s best, for the kingdom and for the people he meets. I think he deserves a second chance. I understand how you may feel of him, or his uncle. I’ve heard all about it. But you really opened his eyes when you met him,” Travie says, “I don’t think you can comprehend just how much, because none of us can.”

“I just don’t want to allow myself to get close to a man whose bred from hate.”

“But you see, that’s not Frank,” Travie says.

“Up until recently,” Hayley says, “it was illegal for women to hold positions as knights. Do you know who petitioned for that law to be repealed?”

Gerard supposes it was Frank. Frank is just fucking perfect apparently, and it pisses Gerard the fuck off.

“Frank’s father was a very kind man, a very good ruler. I knew him before his death, my own father was a knight, the king treated everyone with such respect. He gave the kingdom hope, a glimmer of brightness. That same light shines in Frank. His uncle may not be the best ruler, but Frank did not inherit that, he is not even close to him,” Travie says.

“Who is he close to?” Gerard asks, “he made it seem like he’s not close to anyone.”

“In a sense, he isn’t,” Travie sighs. “He can be detached, I don’t think he even knows it. There’s a very large part of him that wants nothing more than to have someone, someone close to him.”

“That may be what he sees in you,” Hayley says.

“He’s looking in the wrong place.”

“Is he?”

“I think we’re pretty much ready to go, if you’re ready,” Frank interrupts, turning to look at everybody. Gerard looks at Frank, then away when Frank’s looking directly back at him.

Travie and Hayley both give him a onceover, evaluating him, sizing him up. Gerard feels like they’re deciding whether he’s worthy of associating with Frank. He hopes he passed their test, because he likes the two of them.

“Good luck,” Travie says, walking away from him, and mounting a horse so flawlessly that Gerard is almost jealous. Hayley gives him a similar sentiment, before she too is making her way to a horse, and making it look easy. Gerard doesn’t know how the fuck he’s going to get up onto one of those horses but he knows that his attempt is going to render him embarrassed. 

“Here, Gerard,” Frank says, when Gerard looks around, confused as to where to go.

“Uh, there’s eight of us, and only six horses,” Gerard says. “So, what should the three of us do?”

“Your friends are going to take Bill,” Frank says, pointing to a brown horse behind him that looks smaller than the others. Though really Pete and Patrick are so small that when you put them together they probably amount to one person.

“And where am I to go?”

“You can ride with me,” Frank says, matter-of-factly. Gerard gets a mild panic in his heart and doesn’t know what to say. He can’t have just heard what he thinks he just heard. There’s no way he’s actually going to ride the same horse as the fucking prince. Someone’s made a mistake. 

“What?”

“Willow is strong, she can hold us both,” Frank replies.

“You’re serious?” Gerard asks.

“Well where else would you go?” Frank asks. Gerard turns to look at Pete and Patrick who are deliberating on who’s going to sit in the front. They don’t seem too bothered, but that doesn’t mean Gerard isn’t. He’s not necessarily upset that he has to ride with someone else, he just wishes it weren’t Frank. Maybe Travie, Gerard likes him, he seems like a real person. Gerard’s still not entirely sure Frank exists.

“Okay so who’s in the front?” Gerard asks, when he thinks that he’s got enough control of himself not to waver his voice.

“Up to you,” Frank shrugs, “you ever ridden a horse?” 

“No,” Gerard says.

“Then you might want to sit behind me,” Frank says, and Gerard thinks about it for a second. If he sits behind Frank, he will no doubt have to hold onto Frank not to fall off. Then his arms will be around Frank, and he’ll be really close to him. 

“No, I think I’d rather sit in front,” Gerard says. 

“Okay,” Frank shrugs. “It’s not too hard. I’ll help you out.”

“Where do I put my book?” Gerard asks, still holding Mikey in a death grip.

“I’ll put it with my stuff,” Frank says, holding out a hand, and Gerard is hesitant to let him take the book from him. He is very protective over Mikey, and doesn’t want to see him come to harm.

“It’s very fragile, and important,” Gerard warns Frank, before very cautiously handing over the book.

“I’ll keep it safe,” Frank says, grinning. He opens the satchel that his gleaming white horse is holding, and stows the book away with care. Gerard double and triple checks, and only nods when he’s sure that the book is secure.

“How do I-” Gerard starts but there’s a loud noise and when he turns, Pete is lying on his back on the ground, moaning. He fell off of the horse. 

“Ow,” he says, as everyone tries not to laugh at him, except for Patrick, who is not trying at all not to laugh at him, he’s cackling. 

“Not like that,” Frank says.

“I’m totally fine,” Pete says, “that only hurt a lot.”

“Well, there’s everything you need to know about Pete’s personality,” Gerard says, and he allows Frank, rather impishly, to show him how to get onto the horse, whom Gerard is told repeatedly is called Willow and enjoys carrots.

When Gerard finally finds himself perched on the horse, feeling very tall and important, he notices the gaping flaw in his logic.

He only realizes after getting on the horse that he did not think things through in the slightest. His arms aren’t around Frank, that is true, but Frank’s arms are around _him_. They’re around his waist, and Gerard can sense his face almost against his shoulder or his neck, it’s too close, too intimate. It makes him feel weird, kind of tingly in a way that he’s trying to convince himself is bad. It makes his stomach feel kind of weird too. He tells himself that he must be getting sick. Of course he’s getting sick. That’s got to be it. There’s no other reason for his stomach to feel weird with Frank’s arms around him. No other reason. Not one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a rough week for the world, I hope that everyone is hanging in there. Please know that I care about every last one of you, even those who don't comment (which primarily just means that it's hard for me to know you're there), and I hope you're all doing well.


	22. Irresistible

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Almost kisses in the dark.

It’s nearly nightfall when Frank decides that they need to set up camp for the night. Gerard tries to tell him that they should keep going at least until they reach Giantville, but then Frank points out that none of them can see in the dark and running a horse into a tree is the opposite of what they need. Gerard tries to convince him that watching Pete run into a tree would be amusing, but Frank doesn’t go for it.

They find a clearing large enough for them to set up camp, and start to make it the coziest you can possibly make a small field of grass. 

Gerard’s got a lot of rivaling emotions after having to ride a horse with Frank for so long. Nearly three or four hours actually. There wasn’t that much talking though. A lot of it was just silence, but not in a bad way. 

Gerard’s never been on a horse before. He didn’t know how cool it was. He got to see everything passing by him without half the effort it would take for him to walk. He watched as several small streams go by, ultimately turning into one enormous river, and saw dozens of deer, bunnies, squirrels, and animals he doesn’t even know the name of. It was actually kind of amazing.

Then there was the fact that Frank’s arms were around his waist the whole time. On hills, or bumpier terrain, his arms grew steadily tighter around him which was not as objectionable as he will claim it was when anyone asks him about it. Then there was the fact that Frank’s head started to lazily rest on Gerard’s shoulder which gave him goosebumps and he’s going to deny that too.

As soon as they clamber off their horses, Gerard’s legs feeling very stiff and sore from the awkward position, they start to set up some cover. Travie and the one Gerard decided was Alex start to set up some tents, though it appears that there’s only two or three.

“You ever built a fire?” Frank asks Gerard. 

“Do I look like I don’t know how to build a fire?” Gerard asks.

“Do you want me to answer that question honestly, or…?” 

“Yes, I know how to build a fucking fire,” Gerard says snidely.

“Great, so let’s you and I go find some kindling,” Frank says. Gerard tries to find a way to get out of doing that which won’t make it sound like he doesn’t actually know how to build a fire, but he realizes there is none. He fell into a trap and now he’s just got to persevere through it.

“Right, you go that way, and I’ll go that way,” Gerard says, pointing to opposite sides of the clearing.

“Not bloody likely,” Frank says, “You do recall that you almost got eaten by Ogre’s like three hours ago, right?”

“You’re not going to leave me alone are you?”

“Nope,” Frank says, walking right over to him, and Gerard sighs. “Everyone else, try to start setting up, and I want to make it clear that I do not want any one going anywhere by themselves. Groups of two for everything, and yeah, I mean everything.”

“Patrick and I only just met, I’m not sure I’m comfortable allowing him to watch me pee,” Pete says.

“He just keeps on summarizing his personality to you in short sentences,” Gerard says. 

Frank makes an awkward nodding sort of gesture and says, “Pete, just ask him to turn his back.”

“I don’t know how I totally forgot I could say that,” Pete says, shaking his head. Frank continues to do the weird nodding thing like he’s trying to rationalize Pete’s existence to himself before he just sighs and turns away.

“You engage with very strange people,” Frank says to Gerard. He starts to guide them into the trees, turning back for a moment to make sure that everyone is helping out.

“Hey, I wanted to get rid of him, like, immediately after saving him, but Patrick was all like ‘no, let him come with, he’ll be helpful.’”

“Saving him?”

“Oh, right, yeah,” Gerard nods, “he was hanging upside down from a tree and we helped him out.”

“He just keeps getting more and more colorful,” Frank says. He looks down at the ground and Gerard only just remembers that they’re meant to be looking for kindling. Gerard trains his eyes on the ground and starts collecting twigs off the ground, Frank doing the same.

“He’s not bad,” Gerard shrugs, “the fact that he doesn’t hate you is something else though.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, any normal person, and by person, I mean any species, so any normal person, elf or not, would hate the man whose enslaved his people, and stole his family.”

“What?” Frank asks, looking concerned.

“Well, you take elves, and you, well you enslave them, as… as entertainers. You don’t even have enough respect for them to give them jobs, you just force them into demeaning troubadour and fool jobs.”

“I didn’t know…” Frank starts, “I didn’t know it was enslavement.”

“How so?”

“Do they not get paid?” Frank asks.

“Well they’re taken against their will, live under horrible conditions, including scarce food and shelter, and they don’t get any money for it. Enslavement is not so wrong a word.”

“Gosh. I just never knew.”

“You didn’t read that book I gave you did you?” Gerard asks.

“I um,” Frank starts, “Well, I didn’t _not_ read it.” Frank ducks his head down as he picks up twigs, not looking at Gerard, doing his best to keep that up.

“What do you mean by that?”

“Well, it’s just that, oh god I don’t want to… will you promise not to tell anyone if I tell you something kind of, well, embarrassing.”

“Depends on how juicy it is,” Gerard says, but when Frank’s eyes glare into his pleadingly, he says, “relax, I’m only joking.”

“You promise?”

“Yeah, I promise.”

Frank nods, and he stands up straight, edging closer to Gerard and lowering his voice so that even the others in the clearing a little ways behind them can’t hear. Gerard’s all curiousity, and focuses his attention on Frank’s words, forgetting about kindling altogether.

“Okay, well, the thing is. It’s not that I _can’t_ read, because I can. I just, well, I can’t read very well.”

“Hold up,” Gerard says, looking at him aghast, “You can’t read?”

“No I can!” Frank insists. “It never came very easy for me, okay. I have a little bit of trouble, that’s all. It’s not that I haven’t read the book you gave me, it’s just that I’m a slow reader, and it takes me a long time to just, well, read. It’s just hard for me.”

“I-I don’t know what to say,” Gerard says, because he honestly doesn’t. 

“Look, it’s not something that I want to go around. I’m not, it’s not that I’m stupid, I just, I have trouble. That’s all. Some people are bad at math.”

“I’m not judging you, I’m just… you’re the prince. Surely, there’s teachers, tutors?”

“There are,” Frank nods, “there just comes a certain age when you can’t admit to others that you can’t do something. With something as tiny yet huge as this, it’s not easy to own up to.”

“But you’re telling me?” Gerard asks. 

“Well, I like you.”

Gerard goes pink, and doesn’t know how he’s supposed to respond to that. He knows that Frank thinks he hates him, or at least dislikes him, and he’s got too much pride to admit that maybe he was wrong to Frank’s face. He doesn’t know what he’s supposed to say.

“I don’t need you to say the same of me,” Frank says, as if reading Gerard’s thoughts, “I just think it’s something you already know. You’re kind, Gerard, even if you try to pretend it isn’t true. I don’t know why, but there is something very good, and honest about you. You’re different to other people I know. You’re real.”

“I don’t actually hate you, you know,” Gerard says.

Frank smiles sheepishly and replies with a simple, “good.”

Gerard’s way of avoiding eye contact is to go back to looking for sticks on the ground. He can’t bear to let Frank look at him like that with his deep brown eyes. Gerard only really knows people with brown eyes, he can’t think of anyone he’s close to who hasn’t got brown eyes, but there’s something special about Frank’s. Like, they’re just _different_ somehow. They’re ethereal, like they’re from a different planet. 

Gerard doesn’t remember when Frank got this close. He doesn’t remember Frank ever being this close. He’s had Frank completely on top of him twice now and he doesn’t feel like they were as close as they are now. They’re so close Gerard’s sure they could hold a paper up between their chests. 

Frank’s stuck looking at Gerard’s eyes, but every few seconds his eyes dart down to his mouth, and Gerard doesn’t know why. He doesn’t know anything right now. Nothing he knows about life can help him with whatever is happening right now. Because, simply put, nothing in his entire life has ever prepared him for what’s happening right now.

Suddenly, all the words in Gerard’s vocabulary vanish. There’s nothing he knows besides Frank. 

Gerard’s not sure what this tension is. He’s not sure where it comes from, why it’s here, or what purpose it serves. He just knows that there is a tension, and it’s making his heart beat a thousand times per second.

Gerard’s eyes close in anticipation. All he knows now is that he can feel Frank, even without seeing him. Frank’s hand is on his forearm, he doesn’t know when it was put there but he knows it’s there. He can feel Frank’s breath, can feel Frank’s warmth radiating into him. He can feel everything but the world around him. He’s not even sure his feet are still firm on the ground beneath his feet.

It takes Gerard too long to realize what’s happening. Frank is about to kiss him. He’s actually going to actually kiss him with his mouth. And Gerard is… Gerard is somehow not bothered by it. He’s not pulling away, he’s not scared, he’s not trying to stop it. He’s just waiting. Waiting for the inevitable and thinking that maybe he actually wants this to happen. Maybe the rapid heartbeat and sweaty palms aren’t a bad thing. He thinks he might actually be craving it, he actually _wants_ to kiss Frank. 

There’s a moment when Frank’s lips brush Gerard’s, and Gerard feels a shock run through his veins. He doesn’t know what it is, but it feels like someone just hit him in the gut, because he can’t breathe. He doesn’t remember how to breathe. He can’t feel anything besides the fact that Frank is almost kissing him but not quite and he just wants it to happen already.

“Hey you got that kindling?” Travie shouts into the woods, with his voice like a clap of thunder, totally disrupting the moment. Not seeing them from the thickness of the trees, he continues, “We’re starting to get kind of cold over here.”

The moment is gone. Like a bitter snap of reality, there’s nothing left of what was there a moment ago. The air is cold, and bitter, and broken. Just like the moment that is now lost.

“We should, um, yeah,” Gerard says, backing up and straightening himself, feeling _different_. His body is numb, he doesn’t feel his own feet, but he knows that they’re moving away from Frank. His brain is dizzy, nothing seems like reality, it’s all a dream, the kind that he woke up from right before it started to get good. 

Gerard starts walking away, forcing his eyes straight ahead, because when they’re straight ahead, there’s no chance they’ll accidentally make eye contact with Frank. 

Incidentally however, Frank is stood frozen in place. He’s pretty sure that what he thinks almost just happened actually almost just happened. He’s fairly sure of it. Frank almost kissed Gerard. And Gerard didn’t pull away. He didn’t say anything. He just stood there and waited for it to happen. This implies that if Frank had gotten the chance to actually kiss him, Gerard might have liked it. Gerard might not have stopped it. It might have actually happened.

Frank is going to fucking skin Travie alive later for being the reason that Frank missed out on kissing this perfect boy. Not actually, but he’s going to give the dude a stern glare all the same.

Gerard makes it back to the clearing, he sees that the others have made the basic setup of the fire, with a triangular shape. Gerard adds the tinder he collected, and Frank returns very slowly after him, looking dazed.

“You okay?” Travie asks him seeing the glossed over look on Frank’s face.

“Fine,” Frank says, his voice breaking, before he whispers so Gerard can’t hear, “I’ll, uh, tell you about it later.”

Travie just nods, though he knows that it’s got something to do with Gerard, because they were alone together which can only mean a few things. Either Frank’s day just got infinitely better or colossally worse.

“Alright, I’ll do it,” Hayley says when at least a few minutes pass and no one actually makes an attempt to start a fire. The scary thing is that Gerard looks away for what he swears can only be a few seconds and when he turns back, Hayley’s literally already got a small flame spurting from the center of the pit, and he doesn’t know how she could possibly have done that so fast. He decides that she’s probably just so pretty that all she had to do was ask a twig to set fire and it gladly obliged. To be fair, Travie could also probably accomplish the same feat.

Gerard isn’t overly enthused to see that what Frank’s knights have supplied for dinner is stale bread. Apparently that’s about all they have. Ryan keeps trying to tell Frank that one of the reasons they need to get back to the castle is because they’re running out of provisions. Frank just says that they’ll stop at a market in Giantville, and they’ll get way more food for their money because giant food is bound to be huge. Gerard’s not sure that’s how the system works but he’s not going to argue when he knows that he _doesn’t_ know.

Frank takes a seat next to Gerard, and all Gerard can think is _of course_ he’d sit next to Gerard. Frank has nothing better to do than to torture Gerard. In so many different ways, Gerard can’t even name all the ways that Frank tortures him. He’s annoying, and fucking adorable to name a few.

“Gerard we should-” Frank starts, quietly.

“Not right now,” Gerard says, knowing exactly what Frank’s going to say. Frank thinks they should talk about it. Gerard doesn’t want to risk it now. 

“Okay,” Frank nods, “well, I hope that, maybe if you have extra time, you might want to, like, I don’t know, read some of that book with me?”

“Oh, uh, yeah,” Gerard says, nodding. 

“Yeah?” 

“Sure. Anything to get you to educate yourself,” Gerard jokes, “You’re going to rule the kingdom someday, it’d be nice if you knew what you were doing.”

Frank’s about to speak when he’s interrupted by Patrick walking over, looking serious. Pete’s on the other side of the circle around the fire, chatting with Travie. Sometime in the last couple of hours, and Gerard can’t believe it’s only been that long considering how long those hours have been, in those few hours Pete and Patrick have become somewhat of a duo. They’re like a package deal. They’ve known Pete since yesterday, but now all of a sudden, it’s like he and Patrick are attached at the hip. The fact that he’s not with Patrick now leads Gerard to believe that whatever Patrick has to say, it has something to do with Pete.

“Gerard,” Patrick whispers, looking nervous and fidgety. “Can I, um, talk to you for a second?”

“Sure,” Gerard says, looking concerned. 

Frank leans in, eager to eavesdrop before Patrick says, “in private.”

“Right, sorry,” Frank says, standing up and walking over to sit next to one of his knights. Gerard couldn’t say which one, it’s too dark to see more than a couple feet in front of him.

“What’s on your mind?” Gerard asks.

“It’s, uh, it’s about Pete,” Patrick replies. Gerard remembers the look that Patrick had had on his face not long ago when Gerard had found them behind the tree, and wonders if this has to do with that.

“Is it something bad?” Gerard asks.

“No!” Patrick says hurriedly, “not bad. Just… I don’t know. Unexpected.”

“…Okay?”

“Well, so,” Patrick sighs and looks up like he’s trying to find the courage in himself to say what he’s trying to say. “Well, the knights, they, like they came and they cut us loose, in like a second. So we just ran behind the tree to stay safe and… I don’t know.”

“Patrick?” Gerard asks, looking anxious.

“Well, it was barely anything. It’s not important, I shouldn’t have bothered you with-”

“Patrick,” Gerard warns him.

“Alright, well,” Patrick says, “I mean, it was nothing though. It was like a fraction of a second.”

“What was?” Gerard asks.

“Well, he just sort of, like, kissed me?” Patrick says, and the way he says it is like a question. It’s almost like he’s not sure himself if that’s what happened.

“He did what?” Gerard asks, not sure how he’s supposed to feel about that.

“It was like barely a second, I think it was just adrenaline, he was just happy we weren’t dead and it sort of happened and then it was over and then you came and we haven’t talked about it.”

“Wait, but,” Gerard starts, not sure. He’s not sure of anything anymore. Everything he thought was true has turned out to be wrong. Everything he thought of the people around him isn’t what he thought, and this is Patrick, his best friend in the world, for most of his life, and it’s like he doesn’t even know him at all. Everything he thought about himself is looking to be going in the same direction.

“It’s seriously nothing, it’s stupid,” Patrick shakes his head.

“No, it’s not, like not if you want to talk about it,” Gerard says.

“Yeah, but you’re dealing with your own stuff,” Patrick says, “and you don’t like the idea of two boys anyway so-”

“I mean, Patrick, if, like, if you were into it, or whatever, then I guess, that’s all that matters right?” Gerard asks, trying to convince himself of the same thing he’s trying to convince Patrick.

“But,” Patrick says, “I don’t know, I never considered it. Not before Pete. Not for myself. I guess I was so focused on the fact that I thought you… I just never thought to consider myself.”

“Tell me about it,” Gerard says, “up until recently, I didn’t know it was an option.”

“So the thing is, I want to, I guess, kiss him again? But I don’t know how to get that to happen. I’m already awkward as it is, it doesn’t help that Pete thinks I’m mad at him.”

“You gotta tell him,” Gerard says, “because the worst thing you can do is have him think you’re angry with him, because then he definitely won’t kiss you again and then everyone’s upset, and I’m overly empathetic, so even _I’ll_ be upset.”

Patrick sighs, “it’s not something that’s easy to bring up. Pete’s kind of an idiot.”

“Yeah, he most definitely is,” Gerard nods. He almost wishes Frank were as shy and passive as Pete because the fact that he’s more forward means that Gerard’s got to actually address how he feels instead of suppressing it to the point of self-destruction. 

“But he’s a sweet idiot.”

“Frank’s just an idiot,” Gerard says.

“Oh, I almost forgot to ask,” Patrick starts, and Gerard knows what’s coming, “how is that going?”

“I don’t know,” Gerard says, “I’m still not sure I’m okay with… with him being a boy.”

“But you’ve made your peace with the fact that you like him?”

“I can’t fucking deny it, can I?” Gerard groans, “I just _do_. I want to not, and I don’t like liking him, but I do. It feels wrong, and I’m surely going to hell for it, but I like him. I like him a lot. And he knows it. He can sense it, and he’s so, he’s just, well, he’s hard to resist.”

“Maybe you should just give in and accept that you can’t resist?” 

“That’s easier said than done,” Gerard says. He doesn’t know what he’s doing. He’s terrified of how he feels. He’s scared of what others will think, and he’s scared that it’s not normal, because it’s not. No one is like that. No one. Boys just don’t like other boys. It doesn’t happen. The only stories Gerard’s ever heard of it happening are ones with bad endings. It’s just not something that happens to you. It’s something that other people go through. It never affects you. It just doesn’t.

But it does affect Gerard. He’s never known anyone who liked another boy and now he’s confronted with his own thoughts about boys, and this instinct in his soul telling him that this was always meant to be and yet he’s trying to deny it. It’s impure, it’s wrong, it must make him impure and wrong.

But when Gerard looks at Frank, it makes him feel like the impurity isn’t such a bad thing. Maybe it’s okay to be wrong. Because the feeling Gerard gets in his stomach, this elated little feeling like a manifestation of a hug, it makes him feel like not only is it worth it, but that all the glaring problems with it aren’t actually there at all. It doesn’t feel wrong when Gerard looks at Frank. It’s only the part of his brain telling him how he _should_ feel that tells him it is.

“You have to confront this narrowly, Gerard. It’s up to you, but the decision has to be made. Either you and Frank get together or you don’t. It’s as simple as that. You have to face the consequences of either decision. But you got to make the decision sooner rather than later, because if you don’t, Frank will be forced to move on. Maybe the easiest way to decide is to consider how you’d feel if he _did_ move on.”

“Honestly, Patrick,” Gerard says, “if he moved on, I’d be fucking shattered.”

“Well what does that tell you then?” Patrick says, with a shrug. Gerard hates it sometimes that Patrick is the way he is, because he’s always, without a doubt, the smartest person in the room, but he’s not a bitch about it, so he’s basically perfect which is aggravating. He’s sweet, sincere, and if he weren’t Patrick, Gerard’s best friend in the world to a point that he’s practically his brother, Gerard would probably like him the way he likes Frank. Except he is Patrick, and he is basically Gerard’s brother, and also, he’s not Frank. Not being Frank is turning out to be a deal breaker of everyone.

“I wish I understood how he makes me feel,” Gerard says, and he means it. He doesn’t understand anything. He doesn’t know why he likes Frank, he doesn’t know why Frank likes him back, he doesn’t know why everyone is so sure they like each other when Gerard wasn’t even sure until recently, he’s not even sure when he started accepting it. He’s sure he doesn’t like how he feels, but he knows that sometime in the past few days he’s had to face the fact that he can’t deny it. He feels the way he feels. That’s a fact.

It feels like only in the past few hours that Gerard has been able to even grasp the concept of what he wants. It hasn’t seemed entirely real, even though he’s known it ever since Patrick forced him to say it out loud. It just didn’t seem real, not until just now.

“Fuck,” Gerard says, simply, and that’s all that needs to be said.

Patrick just nods, “I know _precisely_ what you mean.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love everyone who's still reading, please leave a comment for my undying love and adoration (those who don't comment will also receive my undying love and adoration but you won't get free shipping)!


	23. Want

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Probably your favorite chapter.

Gerard doesn’t know what time it is, but the sun set completely about half an hour ago, so he’d say it’s pushing nine or ten at night. Their camp is very minimal, but fine nonetheless. As it turns out, there’s only three tents. Hayley gets one to herself, making Gerard more jealous than he’d care to admit, and the other two are divided from there. 

It would be super crammed in them if Frank hadn’t specified that they should take shifts to keep an eye out for anything. Frank of course says shifts of two, and they’ll trade off every couple of hours. Gerard doesn’t even need to put any effort into guessing which two people Frank is going to choose to take the first shift.

“Gerard and I will have the first shift,” Frank says, “and Travie, and Hayley will go after us, followed by Alex and Ryan.”

“What about me and Patrick?” Pete asks.

“Um, don’t take it personally guys but I really don’t trust you two to not get us killed in case of emergency,” Frank says.

Pete nods and makes a sound of agreement, “fair enough, I probably wouldn’t trust me either.”

There’s a few minutes where everyone starts negotiating about who gets what tent and they settle on Pete and Patrick sharing with Travie because really, no one trusts the two of them alone together. Not in a sexual sort of way, but like, if an ogre or someone else were to attack them in the night, Pete and Patrick would die so fast you wouldn’t have enough time to say ‘run.’

Frank watches as everyone starts to settle in, the tents looking like they barely provide any cover, merely an illusion a privacy.

Gerard’s slept in a tent once in his entire life, when he went camping as a kid. Mikey was there, and his mom was alive. Ray had spent about three hours trying to start a fire with magic to no avail, and almost just to spite him, Gerard’s mom had found a spark rock and got it started in under a minute. Ray had moped for about an hour after that as Mikey and Gerard had laughed at him. Ray got back at them later that night by pulling the stick out of their tent and making it collapse on them. To be fair, they deserved it.

Finally, the night around them becomes peaceful as everyone’s settled in, and Gerard knows that he can’t do anything to escape being alone with Frank right now. He just has to deal with it. He’s panicking a little, but he tries to focus on his breathing so that he doesn’t completely pass out.

“Now, I think,” Frank says quietly, “would be a good time for us to have that talk.”

“Oh,” Gerard frowns, even though he knew that this was to happen, he knew that it would likely happen soon. He had hoped he could prolong it, at least overnight, so that he could find purchase on his own thoughts and feelings of the matter.

Gerard takes a seat next to Frank, on the ground which is somehow both hard and soft. He looks at the flames from the fire pit, not as strong and large as they had been a little while ago, but still bright and warm. Much like Frank. 

“I don’t have anything in particular to say,” Gerard says, when Frank just looks at him, not saying anything. 

“Well, I guess I should talk then,” Frank replies, and Gerard nods. “I’m not sure what really happened, if I’m being honest with you. I think, well, I know, that we were about to kiss. And you… didn’t pull away.”

“I didn’t know what to do,” Gerard says. “I just sort of froze.”

“So you didn’t want it to happen?” Frank asks.

“I didn’t say that.”

“You did want it to happen?” 

“I didn’t say that either,” Gerard says.

“Well, how _did_ you feel?”

“I haven’t decided that for myself quite yet,” Gerard responds.

“What does your gut say?” 

“Well,” Gerard starts, “my brain is telling me it was wrong. We shouldn’t have done whatever it was we almost did. We shouldn’t have. And we never should.”

“I didn’t ask what your brain says, I asked what your gut tells you.”

“I do not know this either,” Gerard says, “my gut simply says that I haven’t a clue.”

“Oh,” Frank sighs, dejectedly. 

“But my heart is saying that I very much wanted it.”

“Oh?” Frank asks with a very different tone than the last, he sounds almost hopeful.

“But I do not know what to listen to,” Gerard says. “I’ve never made it very far on my heart alone. My brain seems to really be the only thing that’s gotten me here, to this exact spot. I don’t know if my brain has led me well or not. I cannot say it’s been an easy journey, or a smart one. I simply haven’t a clue.”

“May I tell you how I feel?” Frank asks.

“Yes,” Gerard nods.

“I feel that, well I suppose that mainly I feel as if I’ve been falling for you since I met you that first day. Gosh, with my foot stuck in a trap, your cynicism all the way up to your ears, and your constant criticism aimed at me I don’t know how I could have even liked you minutely, but I like you far beyond that. You are the first person I have ever met who I feel like I can actually talk to. You don’t treat me like everyone else. You don’t walk on eggshells around me, you are honest, and real, and your words are very sharp, very cruel at times, but they’re not wrong. You point out my vices like I am not a future king. You talk to me casually, like I am just a person, treat me like I am not a prince, but like a person. And on top of that, you are wonderful. You’re outspoken, wise, kind even despite your attempt not to be, and you are vividly insightful.”

“Thank you?” Gerard asks.

“You are also brash, stubborn, somewhat of a pushover, and monstrously cynical.”

“That sounds like me,” Gerard nods, not getting mad because he kind of deserves it.

“But I am falling in love with every part of you,” Frank admits. Gerard turns away. He doesn’t want to look at Frank. He doesn’t want to see his eyes after such words. He doesn’t think he can handle it. 

Gerard just looks at the fire, watches as flames crackle chaotically, with smoke billowing upwards into the night sky which is dazzlingly clear from this spot. Somehow, the stars seem brighter, the moon seems larger, the sky seems broader.

Gerard used to wonder what was up there when he was a kid. Sometimes he still does. He’s fascinated by the sky, by the idea that there’s something more. Something more than him, and more than even his own planet. There could be other worlds out there too. Maybe life is as hard on those as it is here. 

“Say something,” Frank says, and Gerard’s struck with the order like a snap back to reality.

“I don’t know what it is you want me to say,” Gerard says. 

“I’m laying my heart and soul out to you here, anything in return would be great.”

“I can’t reason with my own feelings,” Gerard says. “I can’t rationalize them.”

“I don’t need them to be rational, I just want to hear them.”

Gerard groans, standing up and turning away from Frank, “I just don’t know.”

“I don’t mean to push you,” Frank says, standing up as well and standing beside Gerard. “I just can’t help but feel that there is something here. There is something between us.”

“I-” Gerard shakes his head, “From the moment we met, I thought you were an idiot. I thought you were snotty, overly defensive, arrogant, naïve, cowardly, and many other things I shouldn’t say to anyone, let alone the prince. But at the same time, I’ve been, I can’t really describe it, I feel different. Part of me feels a little broken, but also more alive than I’ve ever felt. I’ve never even had a crush on someone, Frank, not a single person. I’ve had feelings about the idea of a person, like a perfect, stunning, amazing person who could never possibly exist, and it never _never_ occurred to me that I had the capacity to feel any semblance of love or romance at all for a man. Not ever. It never crossed my mind that I had it within me to like another guy. I’ve had trouble with the idea of liking a girl, and I don’t know why that is, but it’s like, for the first time in my entire life, I actually feel like… I feel like I might actually have feelings for someone, and it’s all wrong, because it’s not for a girl. Frank, I can’t- I can’t like boys. I just can’t. It’s not right.”

“Who says so?” Frank asks.

“I do,” Gerard replies. “it’s just not right. I shouldn’t like you. I shouldn’t. Yet I unmistakably do. I can’t help it. I have feelings for you, and I don’t entirely understand them, but I know that I’ve never in my life thought of kissing anyone, thought of even wanting to kiss anyone, and then you came along and it’s almost like I’ve never wanted anything more.”

“Gerard,” Frank says exasperatedly, “I’ve been waiting my whole life to feel this way about anyone. I’ve yearned for it for years, and now you’re here and it- it _hurts_. I never knew it would hurt, but it does. Like, I miss you when I’m standing next to you. I crave you even when I’ve felt that you might not feel the same way back. I’ve been going out of my mind crazy for you these past few weeks, thinking I wouldn’t see you again. I’ve almost turned around completely just to visit you once more. I think, I very well might have done so given more time. I might have ridden two days straight just to see you again.”

Gerard turns to finally look at Frank and it’s a mistake, which he realizes only after looking at him. He’s beautiful. He’s so utterly amazing that Gerard’s mouth almost waters. He’s so perfect, stunning, and everything Gerard wants and he doesn’t know why he’s not pouncing on this man right now. He wants him. He wants him so much it hurts. Gerard knows now what Frank meant when he said it hurts. It’s not a bad hurt. It’s painful, and it makes his chest contract, but it makes him feel alive. It’s a hurt that he feels might be the greatest fuel in the world. Part of him feels as though he would do anything, absolutely anything in the world, without an order, just for Frank. He would move a mountain for Frank. 

“It’s just that I’m so terrified,” Gerard admits.

Frank nods, take a small step closer. “I think that’s how it’s meant to be.”

Gerard doesn’t step back; he thinks that there’s a very real possibility he might actually have leaned in just now. If he did, it wasn’t intentional. Maybe his heart is controlling his body now instead of his brain.

“I want everything from you,” Gerard says, “everything. I want all of it. But I don’t want to want that. I don’t want to feel this way.”

“You can always back away,” Frank says.

“But I can’t,” Gerard shakes his head. He can’t back away. He can’t physically back away and he can’t pull his emotions away either. 

Frank puts a hand on Gerard’s cheek, and it’s so warm. It’s so perfect. It’s like it’s meant to be there, perfectly molded to the side of his face. It feels right, and Gerard hates that it does. He feels desperation, he wants Frank, wants him in every way. Wants him to hold his hand, to hold him at night, to hold his waist on the horse, to just be _there_. Be there wherever Gerard is. It doesn’t matter where they are, he just wants Frank to be there with him. 

“Frank, I’m scared,” Gerard says, his voice raw and choked. His breathing is staggered and heavy, and he feels his face heat up and burn with the fear of it. He’s afraid of everything. He’s absolutely petrified, can barely move a muscle. It’s different than last time. He hadn’t really known what was coming until it was too late, now it’s like every single moment is prolonged and weighted in drawn out anticipation. 

“Gerard,” Frank shakes his head, and Gerard can honestly hear his breath like it’s louder than thunder. It’s all he can hear in the world. 

“I don’t know... I’m... Frank,” Gerard says, practically whimpers.

“Gerard, I’ll stop if you tell me you want me to,” he says, moving the hand on Gerard’s cheek to the side of his neck. 

“I-”

“Gerard, sometimes it’s okay not to think about it, and to just let what you want be what matters,” Frank says.

Gerard nods, but it doesn’t convince him of anything. All he knows is that Frank’s hand is on his neck and it’s so warm, and he’s terrified. He feels like he’s about to burst into flames, his skin feels like it’s completely on fire, but Frank’s hand is there and it’s all that’s keeping him from losing his mind.

Gerard doesn’t know what he feels. He feels terror, and guilt, and he’s so unbelievably scared of his own thoughts. He just wants to not want Frank, but he does want him, and he can’t make that go away and it’s absolutely killing him that all of this is real and it’s all so intense. He just doesn’t know how to feel anything but want and fear.

“Gerard,” Frank says, and all Gerard can do in the world is just look deep at those eyes and he feels everything come to a boiling point where it’s ten times harder to think.

“Fuck,” Gerard groans before he can stop himself. He can’t think, he can’t reason with himself out of wanting Frank. He knows there’s so many things that he probably shouldn’t be wanting that he does want, and just as many that he should want but doesn’t, and even though he knows he should be worried and terrified of those things, it’s all overwhelmed by the fact that all he wants from Frank in the entire world is just to love him the way that he knows he’s getting close to, and not caring. He just wants him. He wants Frank so much, and he wants to care that he shouldn’t like him, but he does like him, and he doesn’t care.

Gerard, thinking not really being his strong suit at the moment, grabs the side of Frank’s neck, the same spot where Frank’s hand is on him, and he just kisses him. He does what his entire mind and heart are telling him he wants, and he doesn’t care. He doesn’t care that he knows he shouldn’t want it, because all he cares about is that he does. 

It’s the best moment of Gerard’s life. 

It’s hasty, and nervous, and barely even a kiss, because Gerard doesn’t really know how to kiss. He’s never kissed anyone before, so he’s uncertain of what’s supposed to happen. It’s soft, and warm, and innocent, and sweet, and a million other cute little adjectives. 

Frank opens his mouth a little, sucks in on Gerard’s bottom lip, and Gerard doesn’t know what to do. He’s never done this. He’s never even really seen any other people do it either. He’s glimpsed a peck on the cheek or two, but he’s just never kissed anyone, or seen anyone else kiss someone, not like this. The whole concept is foreign. He doesn’t dislike it though. It feels weird in a good way. 

Gerard opens up to it a little more, allows Frank to take the lead, to show him what it is that they’re supposed to do. He just knows that if he’s going to kiss Frank he’s going to make it count. He very well might get so scared about this that it will never happen again, so this one needs to be important, memorable, perfect.

Gerard wonders if Frank’s kissed a lot of people. The very thought sickens him. He can’t handle, or even accept the idea of Frank kissing anyone. The thought that anyone has kissed Frank before him makes him feel weird. It takes a moment or two for him to realize that he doesn’t have the right to think like that. If Frank has kissed other people, that’s just something that Gerard has to deal with, and can’t change. Frank didn’t do anything wrong if he did kiss anyone else. That’s entirely his choice. Gerard doesn’t have any right to be mad or feel bad about that, because Frank has a life, has had a long life before meeting Gerard.

Gerard thinks about how he wants Frank’s life from now on to be his life too. He wants every moment of Frank’s. He wants to know his thoughts, wants to share his memories, he wants it all. Everything up until meeting Frank, he wants that too. He wants to know everything. Wants to know Frank’s first words, his favorite foods. He wants Frank’s life and his to be forever bound together. All the things that happened before Frank, he doesn’t want them to be forgotten, but he wants to make his future better than his past. He wants to show Frank what living is, and wants Frank to do the same thing in return. 

Gerard falling hard. Really hard. And it’s happening so quickly. Frank might not even care for Gerard as much as Gerard cares for him. It’s all happening so fast and somehow, the speed is making the momentum that much stronger. The quickness of it only feeds the strength of it, like kindling to the fire.

Gerard loves the way Frank’s hand is on the back of his neck. He loves the way that it keeps him there in a way that shows how much Frank wants this, but with enough ease to let Gerard pull away if he wants. Gerard doesn’t want to pull away though. He wants nothing less than he wants that. He wants this to last. He wants this moment to be forever carved into his memory. 

Frank’s mouth is so perfect. It’s like a perfect mold, absolutely perfect. Everything is right. He conforms perfectly to Gerard. It almost feels like he can feel everything Frank does. Like he has merged with him. They are two entirely separate people, but the kiss makes it feel as though they are only one. Like Gerard’s found the missing part of him that he didn’t know he was missing.

Gerard whimpers a little into the kiss, almost having forgotten where he was. It’s not a bad whimper, it’s just that all of his emotions are too much. There’s far too much going on in his head, everything and more all at once. It almost distracts from how amazing this moment is.

Frank pulls away when he hears the noise, and looks concerned.

“I’m fine,” Gerard says, shaking his head before laughing slightly. “I’m more than fine, actually. I’m great.”

“Yeah?” Frank asks.

“Yeah,” Gerard nods. “I’ve… I’ve never kissed anyone before. I didn’t know it would be that like. ‘Was good.”

“It was good for me too,” Frank nods, “I’ve never kissed anyone either.”

Gerard knows he shouldn’t, but he feels relieved at that. He doesn’t want to be compared to anyone, because he knows he’d be worse than anyone in comparison. Gerard smiles and laughs lightly again.

“Are you still scared?” Frank asks.

“Absolutely fucking terrified,” Gerard replies.

Frank nods, “same.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For this chapter only, if you leave a comment I will respond to you with a tweet by Mark Hoppus (while supplies last).


	24. Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gerard has a nightmare.

Gerard’s having a very odd series of dreams. When he finally falls asleep, it’s beside Frank. It’s too close. It’s far too close. It’s almost touching close. He’s only a few inches away. They have the tent to themselves but it still feels like not enough room. It’s too condensed, too small. Gerard doesn’t want to be this close to Frank. Except he does. He wants nothing more than to be this close to Frank. But it feels wrong all the same. 

Maybe it’s his proximity to Frank that sends his dreams into the weird spin they’re taking.

First, Gerard finds himself in his house. Ray is there. So is Mikey, but not in book form. Something is off though, and it’s more than just Mikey being there not inside his book. He looks around the room, and nothing looks any different. Something just feels wrong, dark. It feels like something bad is going to happen, and it’s not a feeling Gerard could describe, because nothing is wrong now. But it feels like it’s inevitable. 

The house looks the same as it always had. He sees the same old furniture and tacky artwork, older even then his own father. This was his house as well, it’s been in the family for many generations. Gerard dreads to think it will someday be his. He doesn’t want to be stuck in Frell for the rest of his life. 

Gerard then turns, and to his surprise, he sees Frank, standing in the doorway. He looks out of place in a dingy room like this. He’s so regal, and beautiful, and bright, yet the house is so dark, dank, and poor compared to him. Gerard can’t escape how he feels completely overwhelming joy at the sight of Frank. It’s like nothing he’s ever experiences. It’s like seeing Frank fills him up. He’s completely filled with such emotions; he couldn’t describe them. 

He’s aware that he’s in a dream, which is a new feeling for him. He knows that this isn’t real, but he still feels unnerved. He feels more fear than he thinks he ever has when awake, and he’s not sure what it is he’s afraid of in the first place, since there’s nothing here that might harm him.

“You make sense in a way,” Frank says to him, “seeing where you come from?”

“Is that to say that I am as depressing as my home?” 

“No,” Frank shakes his head, “Quite the opposite. You are a reflection of so many good things.”

“How so?”

“You have very good people in your life,” Frank says, nodding his head towards Ray and Mikey, and when Gerard looks back at them, he sees Ray with that little glimmer in his eye. It’s that one that always makes Gerard feel like everything is going to be okay. Ray is such a good person, always makes sure that he feels safe, makes sure that he lives the best life he can, even with his curse. Ray is the only person who keeps him sane. 

Then he looks over at Mikey, who looks so different from when Gerard saw him last. He’s got the same face as in the book, but seeing him with a body is surreal now. He’s lanky, and boney, with sharp edges all over the place, from his jaw to his elbows, but he looks astounding. He’s a real person, a good one at that, and he deserves so much. Gerard wants Mikey to live such a happy life, do everything he could ever dream of, and be really free. He never realized until now how much Mikey’s life parallels his own.

Mikey is as trapped as he is. Trapped inside his book, not even having the simple freedoms Gerard takes for granted. Mikey can’t even move, he can’t walk around, can’t be an active person, and it’s just as restrictive as anything Gerard’s had to go through.

Gerard keeps seeing himself in other people. First in Pete, now in Mikey, but he never really considered the fact that no one is entirely content with their lives, and no one is entirely free. No one has the simple luxury of being completely free, or of being happy at all times. Not even the Prince is completely happy. 

Gerard turns to Frank again and wonders why it is his brain feels the need to show him this. Why is this what he needs to see right now?

“What is this supposed to mean?” Gerard asks.

Frank sighs, “your curse is not ideal, Gerard. But your life is a good one. You may not see it for what it is, but you have so many people in your life that care about you. It may not seem like a lot, but just one person is a million stars. One person who cares makes everything worthwhile.” 

Gerard wonders how Frank knows about the curse, and begins to panic a little bit, but then it occurs to him that this is a dream. Frank can know anything in a dream. Mikey can have a physical form when he’s in a dream. Maybe Gerard doesn’t have to be ordered around when he’s in a dream?

“Are you trying to tell me I should just live with it?” Gerard asks.

“Not at all. I understand why you would have the desire to get rid of it. You just need to understand that you live a good life despite it. You have people who love and care for you. If you can’t escape this curse, can never get it to go away, just remember this much is true. You are loved. You have the entire world in your hands if you have even one person love you. And Gerard, you have many people who love you,” Frank stops and pauses a moment like he’s going to go on, but then he decides against it, and looks at Gerard with those wise brown eyes of his.

“I’m sure people love you too Frank,” Gerard says, only being able to guess at what it was Frank was about to say.

Frank gives him a soft, sad looking smile. He shakes his head, and for some reason, Gerard feels as though he’s being truthful. This is only a dream version of Frank, he doesn’t know if anything he thinks is true of the real Frank, because it’s Gerard’s imagination that conjured him, but somehow it feels like Frank is telling him something true here. No one actually does love him. 

He has people who care if he gets hurt, but it’s because he’s a prince. He has people who protect him, guard him with their lives, but it’s not out of their love for him, it’s out of their sense of duty to their kingdom. Who does Frank actually have to tell him that they love him?

Gerard contemplates a moment before saying, “ _I_ could love you.” He thinks that he could. He thinks that if he waits a little longer, all he’ll need is Frank’s personality and his presence, and it’ll be inevitable. He could love Frank. He might already be on his way. 

Frank starts to disappear, and Gerard turns to see that all around him, everything seems to be disappearing. The world is collapsing. Gerard sighs sadly, because he wants to know what Frank would have said about the idea that Gerard could love him, but by the time he’s about to start talking, he’s already gone. There’s a moment where everything is black. Or white. Somehow it’s both and neither at the same time. Everything is black, but nothing is black. Everything is white but nothing is white. 

Then Gerard is somewhere he’s never been before. He’s in a large field, a very large field. It’s quite barren, except for a few sporadic trees. When he turns to look around at the scene around him, he sees that not far off in the distance is a very huge, very important looking castle.

He’s never seen the castle before, but he knows somehow that this is it. This is where Frank lives. This is where all the important decisions are made that ruin the kingdom. Edgar must be in there somewhere, living a pampered life, not knowing how many lives he’s ruined, or if he does know, uncaring of them. 

Gerard turns around again and there’s a man there who wasn’t there before. Gerard doesn’t know him but he looks familiar. He’s sure he’s seen this man somewhere.

“You’re ungrateful,” the man says to him. Gerard doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

“I’m what?”

“Ungrateful. You are an arrogant, ungrateful, selfish little boy, who cares not for other people’s hard work.”

“I haven’t done anything to you.”

“You insult my work, demean my gift to you.”

“Your gift…?” Gerard questions and then he remembers where he’s seen this man before. “You’re Brendon!”

“I gave you a good gift, one that anyone would be envious of, and yet you spit on my effort, care not that I bestowed on you a great power.”

“It’s not a gift,” Gerard says to him. “It makes my life impossible to live.”

“You live still, impossible must not be the right word.”

“I am not my own. I have no authority over my own life. Do you not see what hell it is to always have to do what your told? People are not kind, I do not always see the bright side of them when ordered around. I am kicked around, I am beaten down, I am treated with little courtesy, and it’s because you haven’t any foresight or common sense.”

“You insult me further! What are you to me if not inconsequential? How dare you?”

“How dare I? How dare you!” Gerard says, angrily, “you ruin my life, never even let me start it out with a chance, and now you question my character for insulting you? I have every right, you have given me no chance to prosper and are still incapable of seeing it. It is because of you that I am pushed around. Someday, I fear, I may see far worse. I may die, I may see someone I love die because of this so called ‘gift’ and it will be on you. If I get hurt, or if someone else does because of this curse, that blood will be on your hands, and yet you haven’t the sense to see that.”

Brendon doesn’t respond, doesn’t even blink before he disappears, done with the conversation, completely refusing to admit that he might be wrong, that he might have made a mistake. 

Brendon’s image fades, and with it, so does the entire world around him. Everything is the black but not black, and white that it had been before.

Gerard doesn’t even have time to consider the interaction. He barely allows himself to consider that this is what could possibly happen to him in the future. This might be what happens when he confronts Brendon. He may face the same reaction, and what then?

Then, in the same spot that Brendon had only just been is a new figure. This is another person whom Gerard has never seen before however he doesn’t look familiar at all. His eyes are a bright, alarming, glaring white. Not grey, not a light shade of blue or green, not even a pallid looking blindness, they’re just a pure white. His pupils are still there, it’s just that they have no significance compared to the pearly, incandescent white. There’s no glint, no richness, no anything. They’re the brightest of white and yet completely dark and soulless despite that. 

The rest of this man’s form is blurred, like Gerard can’t really see his face, can’t actually look at this man, he’s far too distracted by those eyes that the rest of his figure basically isn’t there. 

When Gerard looks at the man, still incapable of really registering his face, he sees something glimmer in his hands. When he looks down, what he sees makes his blood run cold. 

There’s a long, sharp, dagger and the man is holding it as he walks toward Gerard, and of course his immediate reaction is that this guy is going to stab him in the fucking chest, or slit his throat, or do something worse. He’s going to kill him. Gerard is going to die. He’s going to be killed by this white-eyed man. 

Then he notices that the man is not pointing it at him, but rather holding it out to him. He wants Gerard to take the knife. What he wants Gerard to do with it he doesn’t want to know, but he knows that whatever it is won’t be good.

“Take it!” the man yells. Despite his previous hopes, even in his own dream, Gerard can’t escape the order. He’s haunted by the curse even now.

“I don’t want it,” he replies, his hand reaching out to take it anyway. 

The man just smirks back at him, and then he’s gone, but the scene around him doesn’t leave. He’s not sure where he is, it’s dark and there’s nothing around him, and then suddenly there’s four people standing in front of him. 

The man’s voice rings out around him, but it’s like he’s whispering into Gerard’s ear. He feels a prickling on his neck, his every nerve standing at attention at the sound of this man’s voice, the feeling of him so close to Gerard. His voice is like a snake, penetrative. It makes Gerard feel as though the man is made of jet-black water, completely void of color and hope, all consuming and terrible.

“Choose,” the man says, and Gerard doesn’t understand, but he doesn’t like it anyway. He no longer remembers that this is a dream. His brain won’t allow him to access that information. This is real, it’s actually happening, and the feeling of trepidation and horror in his stomach isn’t one that he can just wake up from. 

Gerard looks around him, looks for the man whose voice is everywhere but seems to be coming from nowhere, but he doesn’t see a source. The man isn’t here, but his eyes are engraved in Gerard’s mind. Those eyes are going to follow him everywhere; he can just feel it. There was something inhuman about them, but not just that, it was like there was sheer villainy. Many species have humanity without being human, but somehow that man, and Gerard’s sure it was a man, had nothing. He’d lost every sense of morality he ever might have had. 

“Choose what?” Gerard asks. He feels as though someone pushes him, because there’s a force that simultaneously pushes him forward and knocks the wind out of him. He falls to his knees, and the four figures in front of him gain more prominence. He recognizes these faces. They’re faces he knows better than any other faces in the world.

The first is Ray, his hair everywhere and a mess, but his face an emotionless one, as are the other three. The next is Mikey, looking as lanky as he had been before, completely free but awkward in his own limbs. Then there’s Patrick, who’s substantially shorter than the other three. Then there’s Frank on the end. Even now, he looks the most spectacular of the others. Not that the others aren’t as equally as important, Frank just always looks the cleanest, the noblest, the most prominent person in whatever space he occupies. 

“Choose,” the man’s voice repeats. 

Gerard definitely doesn’t like the sound of it, and he wants to ignore the voice, but some small little part of him overwhelms everything else, forcing him to ask why, because he can’t stop himself from doing whatever it is this man tells him to do. 

His voice is brittle, and broken when he says, “what do I have to choose?”

“Who is expendable?” the man clarifies, and Gerard feels a weight fall in his stomach. He has to _choose_. Choose a life. Choose a death. Choose a person. It doesn’t matter how you put it, he has to choose someone to lose, to kill.

He doesn’t know if he’s ever felt as terrified and disgusting as he does now. The mere thought of having to choose makes his skin crawl, repulses him because he’s forced to think about who he could live without. None of the people standing before him he feels like he could live without, and he knows it’s stupid. He’s known Frank for only days, and it’s not that he’s any more special than the other three, because he’s not, it’s just that, the idea of having to kill him sends him into a panic. He can’t kill any of them. He knows Frank is the obvious choice, he’s only known the man for a little while, but he can’t.

“I don’t want to,” Gerard says, practically pleas.

“You will choose one person to die,” the voice says, and it’s like Gerard’s gag reflex is a toy, because he wretches and falls even further to the ground, like being on his knees isn’t belittling enough.

“I can’t,” Gerard says, shaking his head, because he simply can’t. There’s no one he could kill. He can’t kill anyone, not even an enemy. How could he ever kill any of these people, probably the four people on the planet he cares the most about?

“Do it,” the man says, and the order pieces Gerard, hard and painful like a hammer right to his cranium. He thinks he might just keel over and die at the prospect of killing any of them.

With an aching heart, body sweating like he’s completely engulfed in flames, Gerard sees another alternative. He feels the dagger in his hand, feels the weight of it like it’s an entire human itself, and he tries to make peace with his options. All he has to do is choose one person to die, any person. It’s his choice. Looking at the four people in front of him, he knows what he has to do.

He takes the dagger in his hand, closes his eyes, and plunges it into his own chest.

Gerard wakes up in a very real sweat, much like the one in his dream, only this one is cold and uncomfortable. He feels like he’s on fire and hurriedly strips the blankets off of himself, looking terrified at his surroundings. 

It’s dark still, with almost no light around him, and he can barely see a thing. His eyes take several minutes to adjust but when they do he sees Frank still lying there, completely asleep, completely innocent beside him. He looks so defenseless and almost childlike when he’s asleep, everything about him looking soft, and safe.

The darkness in his dream, the feeling that something is going to go wrong, it’s still there in the air around him. He can practically smell it, and it sends him even further on edge.

Gerard looks around, tries to gather his thoughts. He can’t believe it had only been a dream, because it had definitely felt real at the end. He doesn’t know how to adjust to the new reality he occupies, doesn’t know what it is he’s to do with what he just saw in his own head. 

The hole at the front of the tent opens to reveal the dark outline of Ryan’s face peering in, outlined by a sliver of moon behind him.

“Is everything okay? I heard a noise,” he asks, and Gerard just nods.

“It’s fine, just a bad dream,” he responds, quietly, not wanting to disturb Frank from his sleep. 

“You sure?” he asks, and Gerard nods again. This seems to satisfy him as Ryan lets go of the tent and walks away, leaving Gerard to his own mind, which is not where he’d like to be right now. He’s terrified to have to go back to sleep with those thoughts right there in his head. He doesn’t want to face them again, wants to forget that he ever had to think them.

His own decision scares him. It was just a dream, he knows that, but he sacrificed himself. He took his own life, and saved the other four. He sacrificed himself for the man lying next to him now. He saved Frank.

He turns to look down at him, and almost feels clarity, but mostly terror. He doesn’t know how he’d react if a situation like that were to happen in real life. He doesn’t know which decision he’d ever be able to live with, maybe what he did in his dream was the best one.

Gerard doesn’t want to think about that right now. He doesn’t want to think about it ever, but he certainly wants to cast it aside now.

He lays himself back down, feeling uncomfortable and cold now that the dream has started to wear off. He grabs the blanket that he’d thrown off, and wraps himself with it, still not feeling entirely warm or comfortable at all. He feels like something is missing, something just isn’t there or isn’t right.

He looks over at Frank, his face angled towards Gerard’s from this spot, and he’s so pretty like this. He’s so soft and delicate and everything Gerard doesn’t want to want from another man but does anyway. 

Gerard almost hates himself for it, almost lets his pride get in the way before he can muster up the courage to, but he does it anyway. He adjusts himself closer to Frank, and carefully puts his head in the crook of Frank’s neck. Everything in him says not to but he wants it and can’t help himself.

Frank makes a sleep sound, doesn’t wake up, just sort of moves a little with the invasion of his privacy, his body forcing him to adjust. Gerard considers for a moment, and decides he should move, begins to pull away when Frank gets an arm around him, pulling him closer. Gerard is nervous for a second, and then he welcomes it, because it’s what he needs. He wasn’t sure a minute ago what it was that could make the fear dull enough for him to find comfort, but it turns out that it’s Frank. Frank is the one who calms him, relaxes his every bone.

It’s only with Frank wrapped around him that Gerard manages to fall back to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know none of you are asking for any recommendations from me but I saw Young Guns for the second time at Warped Tour and they're amazing so you should check out Young Guns, and if you want to you should leave a comment too.


	25. Someday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gerard is a fucking mess.

Gerard is woken only about an hour after he’d fallen asleep but an hour was long enough for him to feel groggy, weighted with either too much sleep or not enough. He can’t tell which, but either way, it makes his eyes feel soar and unwilling to open to face the sun.

The sun is only just rising, dawn coming slowly but surely, and Gerard’s eyes don’t like the light, even though there’s only a crevice of it where Alex had stuck his head in to wake them.

Frank is very surprised when he wakes up because he finds a Gerard in his arms, one that was not there when he’d fallen asleep. He’s not exactly protesting, he just hadn’t expected to find anyone there. He would say that Gerard’s the last person he’d expect to find in his arms upon waking up, but that’s not true. He’d be way more surprised if Pete were there.

“Hi there,” Frank says. Gerard, still not entirely there, is confused by the tone for a moment until he gets a sudden wave of chills remembering that he’s all curled up in Frank’s arms and then he instantly tries to put as much distance between the two of them as he possibly fucking can. He’s throwing blankets everywhere, kicking his feet, flailing his arms, and then he’s grabbing blankets again because he’s got a sort of _morning problem_ , and Frank can’t know about it, because he’s going to assume he had something to do with it, and Gerard cannot have that.

“Are you okay there?” Frank says, feeling dazed as Gerard thrashes around and then confused because literally a second ago Gerard was right there and now he’s sitting as far away as he can, looking like a scared chipmunk. 

“Why the fuck are you looking at me like that?” Gerard says, overly defensive, and seriously wigged out. 

“You just kicked me? And punched me? And scratched me a little bit?” Frank says, because it’s true, in his attempt to get away from Frank, Gerard managed to hit him with almost every single one of his appendages.

“Sorry,” Gerard says.

“So _are_ you okay?” Frank asks again.

“Yeah,” Gerard says.

“Am I going to get an explanation about what all that was about?” Frank asks.

“Which part?” Gerard asks.

“Well when I went to sleep I was definitely not holding you,” Frank says.

“Oh. Well, I, uh, I sort of had a bad dream, and I… you were _there_ so I, I just, well you know, and-”

“Okay,” Frank nods.

“You’re not angry or anything?” 

“It’s fine, Gerard,” Frank says, smiling a little bit, “it’s kinda sweet.”

Gerard feels a little tingly inside and he can’t help it. Frank makes him feel little butterfly sensations in his stomach that he’s never felt before, and it’s nice, if not a little guilty feeling. 

“So you’re not still completely freaked out about last night?” Frank asks, because Gerard had been totally petrified last night, and wouldn’t even really talk to Frank after they’d kissed. It took a little time for it to sink in that it happened, but he’s made a little peace with the fact that it happened after having slept on it.

“No, I’m still pretty terrified,” Gerard says, honestly.

“Would you totally object if I tried to kiss you again?” Frank asks.

“No,” Gerard says, before thinking about it. The word just slips out, and then he considers it and decides that he’d meant to say it anyway. 

“Okay,” Frank nods, grinning. Gerard watches Frank intently as he gets nearer, mesmerized with his mouth, but his eyes close instinctually the second that Frank’s lips meet his. Gerard’s never imagined kissing anyone before, honestly. He never really considered it. He’d figured that it would happen someday but he didn’t really dwell on it too much, figuring that he’d just understand the hype when it happened. 

He does understand now. There is something very raw and real about kissing someone. Or maybe it’s just that he’s kissing Frank. He thinks that must be the case because he doubts he’d feel half of the same things if he were kissing someone else. Frank just makes it seem worthwhile, whereas the prospect of kissing anyone else seems tedious. 

Frank gets to him. Frank sort of digs at him, roots through his every thought and feeling and grasps at them. Gerard’s never known anyone who could do that. It’s like Frank is looking straight through to Gerard’s brain whenever he lays an eye on him. It’s startling, but not off-putting. 

He shouldn’t feel like this. He’s never even liked anyone before, and all of a sudden he’s kissing a guy, emphasis on a _guy_ , that he barely knows. And to make things worse, it’s the fucking prince. This guy is the future ruler of the kingdom, the man that will decide the fate of thousands of people just with a snap of his fingers, and Gerard is kissing him. In fact, he’s the only person who’s ever kissed this guy. Gerard has first and as of now, only dibs on the _prince_. His step sisters would skin him alive just for this opportunity, and so would just about anyone in the entire kingdom, because this is the most important man on the fucking planet, and he just so happens to want to kiss Gerard of all people. 

The fact that he’s the prince however, it just seems inconsequential. It doesn’t even matter. If Frank were just some poor man on the street with the same personality, Gerard would still like him. He wouldn’t be entirely proud of himself for liking him, because he isn’t now, but he’d still be into it. He’d still like Frank. It’s not about Frank being the prince, and it honestly never has, it’s just about Frank. 

In any situation, no matter where, no matter what, Gerard would still want to kiss Frank.

Frank is the one to break away, which is a surprise to the both of them. He’s grinning like a maniac and Gerard cannot believe that he actually kissed this guy. And that this guy is the prince. The world is weird.

“I’m never going to get used to that,” Frank says. 

“Would you stop grinning at me like that?” Gerard asks, though he doesn’t actually dislike it. “You’re making me regret meeting you.”

“But like, in a good way, right?” Frank asks, and Gerard rolls his eyes before Frank leans in to kiss him again. 

It’s a nice, sweet, little kiss, and Gerard is thoroughly enjoying it when someone peers into the tent and then Gerard all but starts screaming bloody murder. He pushes Frank away, falls on his back, takes the tent down with him and swears up a storm. All this as Travie just sort of stands there looking bemused and entertained. 

“I was just going to say that you two need to hurry up and get ready to leave,” Travie says, “We want to get to Giantville this afternoon, and we need to start early in order to do so.”

Gerard, pulling the tent off of him, having lost Frank somewhere in the heaps of fabric, makes a plan to make sure Travie doesn’t say anything to the others, but when he gets his head out of it, everyone is looking at him. He doubts they know exactly what just happened but they sure as hell know Gerard made an idiot of himself. 

“Uh, yep, will do,” Gerard says, turning the color of a tomato.

“Would someone help me?” A Frank shaped lump in the tent asks as it struggles to find an opening to climb out of. 

Travie laughs, he doesn’t try to, he’s trying to spare Gerard’s feelings, but he really can’t stop it. He walks over to Frank and helps him find the opening so that he can pull himself out, all while giggling. His hair is a mess, static making it stick up everywhere, but he somehow looks more together than Gerard does. 

“I’ll leave you to it,” Travie says, winking at Gerard, which makes even Gerard’s bones blush. Travie is still smiling a little bit, as he walks over to pack up everything into bags, and then begins to saddle up the horses. The others take a little longer to stop staring at Gerard, but eventually their eyes drift off to somewhere else. 

Gerard’s pretty much mellowed down enough that he doesn’t need the blanket to hide anything anymore, because his complete terror pretty much destroyed the problem. 

“You okay, Gerard?” Patrick asks as he walks over to Gerard, who is still pretty frazzled.

“Yeah, sure, totally,” Gerard says, very unconvincingly.

“Right,” Patrick says, but he just shrugs and starts to help fold up the tent anyway. Patrick is a good friend, even if he is a little cynical. He’s also able to entirely read Gerard’s mind at times so he knows that Gerard is definitely not as okay as he seems.

Gerard has a whirlwind of emotions honestly. He’s hungry, tired, embarrassed, ashamed, guilty, frightened, and slightly blissful from kissing Frank, and these all come together to make it feel like he is going to puke.

After about fifteen minutes of stowing everything away and passing out some more stale bread for breakfast, the party prepares to continue on. 

Gerard finds Travie before he mounts his horse, though corners him with fiery intent is a more accurate way of putting things. Gerard is not intimidating through and Travie is quite the opposite, because he could probably squeeze your head into pieces with his bare hands, but he wouldn’t. He’s definitely got that power, but he’s way too nice to use it. 

“Travie, you know you need to, like, keep what happened a secret, right?”

“What, the part about you kissing Frank or the part about you being really, and I do mean _really_ into it?”

“What do you mean by that?” Gerard asks meagerly, even though he’s got a pretty good idea of what Travie means. Gerard can’t get any redder, he feels like he was just stuck in an oven, and you might believe it from the heat radiating off of him. It’s like he’s actually the sun itself. 

Travie makes a face then glances down Gerard only for a moment, and even without words, Gerard can tell what he’s saying. 

“Okay, you need to keep both a secret, obviously.”

“I figured as much,” Travie shrugs, before effortlessly climbing his horse, just like the last time. He’s so graceful, honestly, Gerard can’t even manage to walk without tripping over his own limbs, he doesn’t know how Travie can pull himself onto a horse who’s nearly five feet off the ground without looking stupid. It had taken Frank at least a couple of minutes to convince Gerard to even get on, and then another several minutes of actually getting him on.

“And by the way, it wasn’t Frank that caused that,” Gerard says, “it’s a morning thing. You know?”

“Whatever, Gerard,” Travie says, and if Travie weren’t so motherfucking slick and cool, Gerard would hate him. 

Gerard, feeling only completely mortified, walks away from Travie to where Frank is standing watching the two of them.

“He probably kind of knew already, Gerard,” Frank says when Gerard walks over to him. “We don’t talk a lot, I don’t talk a lot to anyone really, besides you, but Travie is not an idiot. Everyone knows I like you. Everyone. Literally everybody. I didn’t even tell them, but like, I wasn’t super vague about the fact that I liked someone, and then you come along matching the description of the guy I told them about perfectly, so yeah, they all know.”

“Oh my god,” Gerard says, “even Pete and Patrick know! Am I that transparent?”

“Yes,” Frank says instead of reassuring Gerard.

“Well fuck,” Gerard says, “I still want to keep this between us for now though.”

Frank looks a little disappointed at hearing that, but he doesn’t refuse. He helps Gerard onto the horse, quicker than last time but not entirely smoothly like Travie or Hayley, or really anyone except for Pete. Even Patrick has kind of gotten the hand of it. Patrick is much less clumsy than Gerard though, he always has been. Pete is just a mess.

“Gerard are you… never mind,” Frank says.

“What?” Gerard asks.

“It was nothing,” Frank says as he turns to the others and gets an okay from them to start on a slow trollop until they find a clearer trail. 

“Please?” Gerard asks, and Frank cannot say no to Gerard at all. Frank is driven dumbstruck at even the merest thought of Gerard.

“Well,” Frank says, “Gerard, are you ever going to be okay with this?”

Gerard doesn’t know what to say to that. He doesn’t have a clear answer for him. Gerard wants to say yes, but he doesn’t actually know. Right now the very idea of liking Frank makes him feel guilty and scared. He still likes Frank, he can’t deny or hide it, but he doesn’t like that he likes him. The fear of Frank doesn’t outweigh Gerard’s want for him though. He knows that he will never entirely be okay with liking another man, but at the same time, he thinks that he’s getting to be more okay with it than he was. It’s because Frank has awoken something in him, he doesn’t even know what yet, but whatever it is, it makes Gerard feel more alive. Not just that, it feels like he hasn’t even really been living until meeting Frank. 

A week ago, the very idea practically repulsed him, so wrought with fear and guilt that he couldn’t bear it, but now that he knows what Frank is like, knows what kissing him feels like, he can’t stand to see him go. He can’t fathom Frank just _moving on_. 

What if he’s never okay with it though? What if Gerard can never be entirely okay with the fact that Frank is a boy, and so Frank has no other choice but to let him go? He can’t have that. He’d never be able to live with himself if Frank gave up on him. 

“Someday,” Gerard says, hoping that that turns out to be true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next few chapters should pick up a little, sorry this wasn't super eventful, but please leave a comment if you liked it anyway!


	26. Giantville

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frank is super clingy.

Gerard spends the dominate part of the day in an uncomfortable silence, because Frank is kind of pissed off at him for the whole not being able to accept his feelings thing. It’s completely fair, and Gerard knows he deserves it, but he doesn’t like being completely ignored. 

Frank’s got a completely valid point though, and that’s the thing that throws him. Frank shouldn’t have to just keep this a secret. Frank is the Prince. He’s the most important guy on the goddamn planet, and yet Gerard can’t own up that he likes him? Gerard can’t own up to the fact that he wants to kiss this guy? He’s basically more powerful than every single person in the entire kingdom combined, and yet Gerard, stupid, self-loathing, embarrassed, hypocritical, _Gerard_ can’t let anyone know that he likes him?

Gerard is an idiot. Hattie would scream the news that she kissed the Prince into the forest, yell it from a window, slit Olive’s throat and write it on every single surface available in her own sister’s blood, and yet Gerard can’t kiss Frank when people might be watching.

But now Travie knows, and so do Patrick and Pete apparently, so that’s three more people that already know when he’d have that number be zero. Gerard doesn’t know what to do. 

They’re barely half an hour from Giantville, or so Ryan keeps assuring them, and when Gerard is there, he’s going to be around hundreds more people all of which he doesn’t want to know. Then again, they might be pretty fucking pissed at Frank so they might just kill him and that would save Gerard a whole lot of trouble. Now, he’s choosing to neglect the voice in his mind telling him that he would sooner die than watch Frank die in front of him, but until that event arises, he is choosing to ignore that voice. 

“Are you nervous of what the Giants will think of you, seeing as you’re the Prince?” Gerard asks finally. Well, not really, he’s asked Frank a bunch of questions over the last several hours, all of which Frank replied to very briefly before going back to giving him the silent treatment. At least he’s still got his warm arms around Gerard’s waist, he’ll take the wins wherever he can get them. 

“I wouldn’t have been a few weeks ago,” Frank says. 

“But now?”

“Now I understand the subjugation my family has put them through,” Frank says, “and it is unforgiveable.”

“Recognizing that much is very strong of you,” Gerard says, overjoyed with how much he’s gotten Frank to say. He’s also pretty proud of how much he seems to be effecting Frank, because it’s almost like he’s talking to a different person than the one he met not long ago. 

“I mean, it’s likely that they won’t even recognize me right?” Frank asks, but Gerard isn’t so sure. He didn’t know what Frank looked like, but that’s because he avoided ever going into his stepsisters’ room and never saw their enormous poster of Frank’s face. Given however that there exists a huge poster of Frank’s face, he would say that the odds are against Frank that the Giants won’t know who he is, or what he looks like.

Gerard doesn’t express this thought however, and simply says, “maybe.”

“Don’t-” Frank starts, but then he apparently thinks better of it and stops.

“What?”

“It’s not important. Forget I said anything.”

“No, what was it?” Gerard implores.

“I said, drop it.

“Please,” Gerard says, and he turns around as best as he can to peer at Frank. Frank looks at him, and Gerard can tell, he can see a physical reaction in Frank, that Frank can’t say no to him. He thinks it’s something about his eyes, because that’s what drives Gerard crazy about Frank. Frank’s heart might stutter every time Gerard looks at him, just the same that Gerard’s does.

“Just don’t leave my side,” Frank says, “when we get to Giantville. Don’t leave me.”

“Okay,” Gerard says, “but you have to promise to give me space if I find who I’m looking for.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Frank says, nodding, as Gerard turns back to face forward, because straining his neck to look at Frank is starting to hurt. “It’s just that… well, I find that I’m better with words when I’m around you.”

“This is you at your peak?” Gerard teases.

“Shut up,” Frank groans, but he laughs quietly anyway, “but yeah, I suppose it is.”

“Frank?” Gerard says, nervous about what he’s going to ask, but he can’t let that stop him, because then he’ll never speak again.

“Yes?”

“Are you… mad at me? For, well, for not being able to be as open about this as you are?”

“No!” Frank says hurriedly, “I’m a little miffed, but not mad, never mad. I understand why.”

“It’s just, only a few weeks ago this was never even an option. Not a boy, not the Prince, never in a million years. Now… now it seems like I’ve been blind to the possibility and I opened my eyes at just the right time not to miss you. But still, only a little time has passed.”

“Gerard, I get it. You need time. It’s alright. I had over fifteen years all by myself in a castle to be alone with my thoughts. You’ve had a mere days. I understand, and it’s not your fault that I’m impatient. It’s my problem, not yours.”

“Yeah?” Gerard asks, feeling a tiny bit better. It hadn’t occurred to him that Frank’s been thinking about this for a lot longer than he has. Frank has had a whole life where he lived with the knowledge that nothing was impossible for him. Everything, he could attain almost everything. This was something he was allowed to think about, permitted to daydream about. Gerard hasn’t lived with the same privilege. 

Gerard can scarcely imagine it. He’s still not sure how other people are going to react to two boys. He’s not sure if there are rules, and if there are, what they are? He’s never considered it, because, it never touched him. It was never something he thought about in his own life, it was on some other plane of existence.

Gerard thinks about it, and honestly, he doesn’t even know if the Prince is allowed to like other boys. He may be the Prince, but is that even allowed? Is anyone allowed to?

“You look nervous,” Frank says, even though he can’t see Gerard’s face. Gerard just tenses up like crazy though in only a matter of seconds, to a point where Frank thinks he might fall off the horse if he gets any stiffer.

“I just… I’m a boy,” Gerard says, “you’re a boy.”

“Those are both statements.”

“It’s okay right?” Gerard asks, “Are there rules about this? Is it allowed?”

“Who do you think would disallow it?”

“I don’t know,” Gerard says, completely confused. “But _you’re_ allowed to right? You’re the Prince, surely you must.”

“Well I’m not going to have you executed for kissing me when I’m the one who initiated it, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“But like-”

“Gerard, just leave it,” Frank says, “there’s no laws against boys falling in love with each other. No laws about girls either. Why would there be? And if there were, I’m the Prince, I can make them go away.”

“So, like, legally, it’s fine? We’re okay?”

“We’re okay,” Frank says. Gerard nods, feeling a little more at ease. He’s never thought about the legality of liking Frank before, but he doesn’t know anything about the real world at all.

“Right, so it’s all in my mind then?” Gerard asks.

“The moral question? Yes.”

“So Pete and Patrick are okay too?” Gerard asks. 

“What about Pete and Patrick?” Frank asks, and Gerard realizes with a very cold wash of grim tingling, that he had not talked to Frank about those two. As far as everyone is concerned, Gerard is the only one who knows. Well he _was_.

“Nothing,” Gerard says hurriedly, as Frank, very quickly it should be noted, puts the pieces together.

“No!” Frank says, a little too loudly. Frank looks over at the horse not too far behind them, carrying Pete and Patrick, and his mouth just sort of opens in awe, because it’s so obvious. How could he have not noticed? He’s an idiot.

“You heard nothing from me,” Gerard says. “I said nothing.”

“No!” Frank repeats, laughing now. 

“Oh shit.”

“Oh my god,” Frank says, still laughing. “That makes so much sense! That, honestly though… the stars, they must have, fuck… they aligned in all the right ways… because holy shit, to make that happen… that’s just, well that’s perfect.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Gerard says.

“My lips are sealed,” Frank says, still kind of giddy. 

“Hey guys,” a voice from the front of their gathering says, and Gerard looks up, interested, to see that Ryan and Hayley have stopped on the top of a small hill hidden behind a line of trees from where they are. 

Frank, Gerard couldn’t say how, gets the horse to speed up a little bit before they stop in the same spot as the others, and Gerard’s eyes open wide.

He’d inferred that Giants were large, given that they are, quite literally, called _Giants_ , but he had never imagined that they were _that_ big. They’ve got to be at least twelve times the size of humans, probably more. Gerard’s never been good at math. 

“Well fuck me,” Frank says, as his gaze goes upward, and then upward some more.

“Well, they’re friendly,” Gerard says, his voice higher than usual. “Supposedly.”

All of them stop there, and look down at the town below them for several minutes. None of them have ever seen a Giant, none of them know what to do with what they’re seeing. It seems unreal, they’re just too huge, too different to be a species that really exist. Except they’re there, and they’re as real as any of them. 

“So, uh,” Ryan says, “do we, just, go down there then?”

“I mean, there’s got to be a human safe route somewhere, huh?” Travie adds. “Otherwise, we’ll surely get stepped on, killing us, but only mildly inconveniencing one of these guys.”

“Yeah, over there,” Hayley says, pointing to a dirty brick road that hasn’t been well maintained. It leads into the single largest city that has ever stood, Gerard’s sure of it. He thinks that you could probably stack about nine of his house on top of each other, just to reach the height of one of these buildings, not even accounting for how big and wide they are. They’re actually pretty far away from even the nearest building, not nearly as close as the Giants walking around in front of them. The Giants don’t even notice them, given their comparative size. 

“Well, onward we go,” Hayley says, steering her horse in the direction of the path. Slowly, and very reluctantly, the rest of them begin to follow her.

“I sure hope they don’t hold a grudge,” Frank says softly, probably more to himself than to Gerard.

“Your father was a good man,” Gerard says, “if the Giants have any logic, they will see _him_ in you, not your Uncle.”

“Was he?” Frank asks. “Was a he a good King, I mean? I don’t really remember him as well as I would like.”

“I would say he was one of the best Kings ever,” Gerard replies, “but who knows. Maybe someday, you’ll be even better than him.”

“That isn’t my intent,” Frank says, “I don’t want to be better than anyone else. I just want to do right by my people.”

“I think that’s the best thing we can hope for from a future King,” Gerard replies. The horse seems unsteady when they find the neglected path, and Gerard finds himself feeling very wary. Willow, as Frank assured him, is a very strong horse, but Gerard can’t help but to think of how thin and wobbly their horse’s legs all are. When you factor in the deteriorating path and the slope of the hill, Gerard feels very precarious and scared. 

It’s taken him days to get to Giantville, granted the trip was cut short substantially because of Frank, but still, now that he’s here, he’s starting to regret more than ever coming here. He’s got so many different fears about what’s going to happen here, that he can’t even count them. He’s scared the Giants will hurt him, he’s scared Brendon will ignore his request, he’s scared Brendon’s left already, even though Gerard checked this morning to see that he was still there. 

He's terrified of everything. He’s even scared of what will happen if his curse is broken. This could be the day. It could happen today. He could be curse free in a manner of hours. That anticipating is both terrifying and exciting. What if this becomes the day that he is finally freed?

“You’re nervous,” Frank says, and it’s not a question. He’s stating something as though it’s the most obvious thing in the world. 

“I am,” Gerard says nodding.

“It’s okay. I am too,” Frank says, resting his head on Gerard’s shoulder, which Gerard would be self-conscious about if he didn’t enjoy it so much. Frank drives him crazy. 

“Where exactly are we supposed to be heading once we get to the city?” Travie asks as they pass over a bridge with a river that must look like a stream to the Giants. The city is only a few minutes away from here, but once they’re in it, it’ll take a while to get to any buildings due to how far apart they are. They’re not far from each other per se, if you’re Giant sized, but when you’re human sizes, they’re very far apart.

“Well, it looked like he was at a wedding when I checked,” Gerard says, “and he’s been here for a few nights, so my guess is that we need to find the nearest inn, and just ask for him. Or any place that might hold a wedding, or just anywhere that a fairy might be.”

“We were probably going to need to find an inn anyway,” Frank says.

It takes several minutes, and as they grow closer to the town, the buildings get bigger and more intimidating. There is however, somewhat of an undercity, because as they get closer to the first big building in front of them, they start to see a couple human sized buildings, most of them about the size of the store Patrick used to live above. It’s all above ground, but it feels like they’re in a basement considering how large the other buildings are above them. 

“I think we should actually try splitting up,” Frank says as they approach a human sized town square, that’s beside what appears to be the Giants’ town hall. 

“Split up?” Travie asks, “is that good idea?”

“We’re not going to find this guy any other way,” Frank says, shaking his head. “If we split up, odds are, one of us will find him.”

“Alright,” Travie sighs, nodding, and the others seem to agree with Frank’s reasoning. 

“We should all meet back here in an hour,” Frank asks, and their party all nod. “Pete, and Patrick, just… well, try to not get crushed by anything. Maybe you two should try to find that inn we talked about or something? And once you find it, just, like stay there until we all meet back here? That way you’ll stay safe.”

“Why does nobody trust me?” Pete asks.

“Pete, your shirt is on backwards,” Patrick replies. Pete looks down, realizes Patrick is right and then nods.

“Alright, fair enough,” Pete says.

“So you two do your best to find a place to stay, the rest of us will look for Gerard’s fairy, and just a reminder his name is Brendon. If you find him, bring him to our meet up spot right here. And just as a precaution, stay in groups of two,” Frank says. Frank, Travie, Hayley, Ryan, and Alex, who are all somehow telepathically linked, Gerard could swear it, divvy up which directions they’re going to go in before they separate, Travie and Hayley going one way as Frank pulls the horse in another. Ryan and Alex go in yet another direction as Gerard watches Pete and Patrick try to figure out where an inn would be. 

Gerard wanders fleetingly where they’re going to keep six horses, and how on earth they’re going to be able to prevent them from being stolen if they stay the night somewhere, but he doesn’t think too hard about that. Frank surely has a plan. Frank always has a plan.

Giantville, as far as Gerard can tell, is very inclusive of humans, but from a distance, you can’t see any of the human settlements, because compared to the Giant’s buildings, they’re like dollhouses. There are human stores everywhere, and as Gerard peers down a side road, he sees human houses too. Not many humans are actually out and about however, as Gerard only spots a few as they make their way down their chosen road, which is long and seems to go on forever, especially considering the rate at which Willow trots. 

Gerard, from what he’s seen of it so far, likes Giantville. It’s a beautiful place, it looks alarmingly like his own hometown, only multiple times larger. The buildings appear to be predominately made of stone, stones which are all as big as, if not bigger than Gerard. The human buildings, which are all beside their Giant counterparts from the looks of it, are just plain red brick. It’s quite easy to figure out where to go however, because Gerard sees a Giant barbershop, and right beside it is its human barbershop counterpart. 

He wonders if the buildings are actually connected to each other, and they just have separate entrances so that humans don’t get squashed. The segregation between humans and Giants might actually be nonexistent if that’s the case. Other than the fact of course that Frank’s Uncle uses Giants as slaves and ships them off to farms and other places around the kingdom.

“This is seriously overwhelming,” Frank says, and Gerard nods. They have to angle over to the side of the path, because there are dozens of Giants just walking by. To be fair, this is their city, but Gerard just can’t imagine moving around that much when you’re that big. They do seem to move a little slower than a human though, and Gerard decides it’s due to the sheer weight of their bodies compared to a human.

Up close, Gerard realizes that Giants look exactly like humans. They’re spitting images of humans, same everything. They’re just bigger. Gerard watches a Giant, an old man, walk down the street in the opposite direction, so Gerard gets a really good look at his face, and he’s amazed by how he looks so _human_. There aren’t even any tiny differences like with elves, who have pointed ears and sharper jaws. The Giant looks like the kind of guy that used to judge Gerard every day as he walked to and from school. Just a regular person. Only he’s massive. 

“I don’t know what I expected,” Gerard says, as the man passes them with huge strides that clear the distance their horse goes in a minute, but only takes the Giant a second.

“Yeah,” Frank says, as a pair of Giants come from the other direction, talking to each other. The road is wide to accommodate their size, but still, Gerard is a little wary at how big their feet are compared to how small he and Frank are.

“They won’t be so bad,” Gerard says, hopefully, and he looks on ahead to any buildings that look like they could either accommodate a wedding or might be able to provide the whereabouts of someone who just attended a wedding. If they could find an Inn that would also be great. 

It occurs to Gerard that Brendon may have been some other party that wasn’t a wedding. He was definitively in a Giant building when Gerard consulted Mikey’s book last, but he’s not sure if a Giant would be able to help them. Giants are very large after all, and one small fairy isn’t going to make much of an impression on someone so large. 

“There’s a bar that way,” Gerard says, pointing in the direction he’s looking, and Frank nods.

“Not a bad place to start,” he agrees, and he guides Willow in that direction. Gerard’s not going to lie, he’s excited to get off of the horse because his ass is really starting to hurt, and his legs are all but numb. 

Frank stops in front of the bar, and he dismounts, leaving Gerard feeling helpless until he offers him a hand to help him down. Gerard is sure without his help, he would fall on his face. Gerard’s feet land on the ground but his ankle gives way under him at the force of it, and he would fall down if Frank weren’t there to stop him. Gerard makes an unflattering sound as he almost falls flat on his face like he’d predicted, but Frank’s strong arms catch him, and pull him back up.

“You okay?” Frank asks him as Gerard straightens himself out and comes up only a few inches from his face. Gerard’s lost all sense of control over his body, he swears it. He’s not even thinking, because a second later, he just kisses Frank, and it’s not even his intention. He didn’t even decide to do it, he supposes his body decided for him what his brain hadn’t even considered.

Frank doesn’t seem to mind. Quite the contrary actually. He puts his hand on the side of Gerard’s face, and Gerard doesn’t even have the heart to stop the kiss. Not for a few seconds at least. Everything in him is telling him not to, he wants to just keep kissing Frank, but he reminds himself he’s in a public place. There are people walking by, granted they are far too big to be concerned with whatever two little humans are doing, but still. They’re still there and Gerard is still terrified of other people knowing. 

Gerard pulls away from Frank, and only a few seconds pass, where he looks at Frank for a few seconds, wide eyes blinking back at him, and a couple of different things happen all at once.

First, there’s a sound of gasping, followed by a girl screaming. The two of them look around, startled, and a little nervous too. A girl, probably about the same age as the both of them stands in the doorway to the bar, and she’s staring at Frank, and they can both tell in an instant that the girl recognizes him. It’s surprising how widespread Frank’s image seems to be, because everywhere you go, all the girls seem to know precisely what Frank looks like, and they all seem to be head over heels in love with him too. 

“It’s the Prince!” the girl starts screaming, as though she’s trying to notify the whole town, and it’s quite possible that she is trying to do just that.

But the thing that really strikes them off guard is the second thing that happens, which is a loud, booming voice of what must be a Giant, repeating her words.

Gerard can feel his own heart run cold, doesn’t even want to think about the feeling Frank must get as the Giant says, “the Prince?”

The two of them look up, and their heads just keep going up until they finally come to see the face of the man who just spoke, and he’s looking directly down back at them. Gerard can’t tell if he looks villainous or not, but in either case, he’s never interacted with a Giant before, and his books haven’t prepared him for the actuality of it happening right now. 

Gerard isn’t shocked at all when Frank grabs his hand, and clenches tightly on it, turning his knuckles a stark white. Gerard doesn’t mind, he understands Frank’s worry. Gerard doesn’t think about the fact that people might be looking, doesn’t think about the fact that a whole crowd of Giants are starting to gather, and are all now looking down on him and Frank. He doesn’t think about any of those things. He just squeezes tightly on Frank’s hand, a reminder that he’s here for Frank, and he’s not going anywhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My fiancées birthday is tomorrow so everybody say Happy Birthday Coral in the comments.


	27. Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So close I can almost taste it.

Gerard sits with Frank in a tavern, Gerard had been calling it a bar but apparently, it’s a ‘tavern’ because the Giants don’t want to give off the impression that they get drunk a lot. However, as Gerard has witnessed, this is false advertisement. Giants quite enjoy being drunk. Or rather, Giants don’t overly enjoy being sober.

The tavern is very large, to accommodate the Giants, and on what he supposes is the counter of the bar, is where the human bar actually is. There’s a long staircase leading up to it, and there’s several people all walking about out on what Gerard has a hard time grasping is actually the Giants bar counter. There’s no way to put into perspective how large the space is, it seems so big that it’s practically outside. The Giants are just too big, it’s incomprehensible. They’re all smiles and dancing in the bar, which eases Gerard’s mind a little bit, but he’s still worried.

Gerard faces a lot of inquiring stares from both humans and Giants alike. Everyone wants to eavesdrop and spy on the Prince, because he’s the Prince. No one knows why the heck the Prince is _here_. And even if that wasn’t on everyone’s minds, he’s still the Prince, and there’s been murmurs as the two of them have walked past which leads him to believe that the Prince being in town isn’t the only piece of gossip flying. People also want to talk about how the Prince was kissing someone. And how that someone was a guy. 

After being noticed, the original Giant who had looked down at them had taken them into the bar to have a discussion, and Frank’s hands have been sweating uncontrollably since. The Giant, who introduced himself as Koopooduk seems rather official, though who he is doesn’t necessarily seem important, because right now he’s the one who’s going to determine how the Giants treat them. Right now, what matters is that he likes Frank. He does at least seem to be a person of importance, so his opinion of them is very big, as it may very well determine if they’re allowed to live or not. 

“So you see,” Frank says nervously, because he hasn’t been able to get many words at all out so far. “It’s not that I… I’m not, I don’t, disrespect, or like, dislike Giants. That’s not it, because, well, I mean, I’m just not very informed. I’m kind of, unprepared. I don’t know anything about my own Kingdom, not much about the world at all, because… or, and I’ve been learning a lot about different people, and different cultures, just by, like, I don’t know like trekking across this place, which I really, I should have done sooner, because I’m going to be in charge of this Kingdom someday, like this is a land I’m going to rule, and I’ve been, I’ve been an idiot not to know anything about it. But I only found out recently, that my Uncle, he, well he believes in segregation. He likes to, I don’t know, he likes to, well, he thinks he’s keeping people at bay, and you know, up until recently, I just kind of accepted that, we don’t talk much, he’s not, like very, I don’t know empathetic? So, I just sort of went along with what he said, because I didn’t, I didn’t know any better.”

“You’re going to have to slow it down, or get to a point, because I’m not getting how any of this relates,” Koopooduk says. He speaks rather slowly, and Gerard, after hearing him speak more, realizes that this may not be on account of him being drunk, because he seems to be perfectly clear headed. It may rather be because of how large he actually is. His functions, and every day actions are inherently slower than Gerard’s, a human. It’s not that the Giants speak slowly, or that he as a human speaks quickly, it’s simply that the sheer size difference between them makes their interactions more difficult. 

“I’m sorry, I’m nervous, I rant, when I’m nervous…” Frank says.

Gerard rolls his eyes and decides to step in, “listen, so this is how it goes. I met Frank, or, uh, the Prince, a few weeks ago, and he was, honestly, let’s be honest here, I was on the same page as you, like I get it. His Uncle is a colossal piece of shit, I mean, enormous, like, you can’t get worse than that guy. What a dick. Just a waste of space. So, I met Frank, and I thought, well he must be like his Uncle, right? They are family, hell, his Uncle practically raised him! But then I actually talked with him and realized I kind of put my foot in my mouth, because Frank’s actually like, a decent person. Don’t get me wrong, he has his flaws, but I think his biggest strength is that he is willing to learn. He actually does care about his people, unlike his Uncle, who just cares about making people miserable, but Frank, is actually a good person. And I know that sounds hard to believe, because I have a generally negative view of royalty, but look at his father, I mean, he was a good King, he was the best King, we’ve never had a better one. And this is _his_ son. Frank is not a product of his Uncle, but rather of his father, and when you look at his father, it’s easier to see how it’s possible for him to have a heart, because, honestly, Frank, he’s got a heart. A really, really big one. He’s a little dim, and a little rude, but he is so concerned and honest and just willing to listen, to just take it, take constant criticism, and he’s good about it. He actually wants to better the lives of the people in this Kingdom, even if that means you just relentlessly insult him, and he wants to start with those who his family has wronged.”

“And who are you exactly, to say all these things?” Koopooduk asks Gerard.

“I’m nobody. I couldn’t have cared less about Frank until the past few days, really. I’m poor, I’m a peasant, I live in a tiny town that’s inconsequential, and no royalty in their right mind should ever view me as anything but a nobody with no thoughts, but Frank, the fucking Prince, he’s one of the only people to have ever given me the time of day. And that’s more than I had come to expect from people who grew up in the same town as myself, so there’s a lot of power in my saying that. Frank, like, he actually, cares about me. More than I think almost anyone does. And I’ve spent a lot of time with him recently, and I think that I can honestly say, knowing him as well as I do now, that I actually care about him as well. If you knew me, like really knew me, you would know how absurd that is, because I just hate royalty, I hate the higher class, and yet, one of the people I care the most about is the most important person in the entire Kingdom.”

“Alright,” Koopooduk nods, looking like he’s willing and ready to listen.

“I don’t mean to speak for him,” Gerard says, “it’s just that, he’s very nervous right now. He knows, understands your pain, and someone close to him has caused it, which has really weighed in on him. He feels guilty, because it’s his Uncle’s fault that the Giants are so mistreated. You just need to understand that he is willing to listen to you. He wants you to tell him what needs to be done, because this is going to be his Kingdom soon. Frank is honestly trying, and he genuinely wants to know what you have to say, so please, just, give him the benefit of the doubt.”

“What have you to say?” the Giant asks, looking at Frank.

“I- well, I mean, Gerard knows me better than anyone I guess,” Frank says, and Gerard looks at him for the first time to see that he’s so pink that it’s almost worrying. “But, in, like, in summary, my goal is to make this place a better place to live. It’s never been great, and I mean, I don’t think I can change it singlehandedly, because I have recently seen, firsthand, just how awful life can be in some parts of this Kingdom. Like, I’ve seen people living on the street, I’ve seen people being disregarded, I’ve seen people afraid of their own homes, and it’s, it’s my family’s fault, I’m partially to blame, I deserve the blame. It’s been a very sickening experience for me to have to see what the conditions are like, because I, I grew up in luxury, I was just, I’ve been so privileged but I’ve also been isolated so as not to see that privilege, and up until now, I did not know that there was a problem. But, my world has changed, and Gerard is predominately to thank for that, because, like I _see_ it. I see the problems, I see the concerns, I see the misery, and just the hatred in the eyes of my people, and it’s completely warranted. Some of them, they couldn’t care less about policies, it’s about a figurehead, but people like the Giants, like elves, and Ogres, you’re the ones who really deserve to have my attention. You deserve better. It’s my problem if you are having issues, and I want to know what it is that I can change, what I can help with. I owe you that.”

Koopooduk looks pleased with this, and Gerard whispers to Frank, “if you don’t mind, I would like to go find Brendon now.”

“What?” Frank asks, and then he looks nervous. “Oh, well, um alright.”

“What do you speak about?” the Giant asks, looking at them, because he is very large, and the two of them are very small, so he can barely hear them when they speak at full volume.

“I’m looking for… a friend,” Gerard says, “that’s why we’re here in Giantville, so that I can speak with this guy.”

“You may look for you friend if you wish, but I desire to speak with the Prince still,” the Giant says, and Gerard thinks that this is a reasonable request, but Frank looks very nervous. 

“You’ll do fine,” Gerard reassures him, and Frank nods, though he does look completely terrified.

“Yeah, yeah,” Frank says, and he takes a deep breath, before looking up and Gerard can see his jaw strengthen as he looks up, trying to find his own confidence. As much as Gerard would like to be his moral support, Frank still has to learn how to do this. He has to learn how to address his own people, and ask them about their problems. He can’t have people speak for him all the time, because this is part of his job. That’s not Gerard’s place. Frank is the future King, not him. Or at least, Gerard doesn’t know that it is to be his fate.

Gerard walks back the way that he’d come, looking at some of the faces that are all eyeing him with intent. Some look wary of him, others look curious, but Gerard wants to speak with someone more official. He makes his way over to the barkeeper, who is standing behind the human bar, which takes up almost no space at all of the Giants bar. 

“Excuse me,” Gerard says, feeling as nervous as Frank had looked.

“How may I be of service to you?” the woman asks him, and she stops pretending to clean the bar to look up at him. She had of course, been spying on him as everyone else had been doing.

“I’m, um, looking for someone,” Gerard says. “A fairy. By the name of Brendon.”

“A fairy?” the barkeeper asks, “We’ve had several of those recently, there was a weddin’ for ‘em here last night.”

“Yes, I thought as much. I’m looking for one of the attendees. He looks about my age,” Gerard says, because Brendon didn’t look that old, on account of his eternal youth, “and he’s got brown hair that’s kind of, I don’t know… swoopy?”

Gerard tries to imagine him in his brain, and he wishes he could pull out Mikey to show the woman a picture, but Mikey is with the rest of their luggage, with Pete and Patrick. She looks unsure of which fairy Gerard is talking about so he knows he has to go on describing him until he rings a bell.

“Well, he’s got, like, a really big forehead?”

A look of recognition flashes across her face, and she says, “oh yes, that one. Quite the drinker, and I’m meaning no disrespect.”

“Yeah, you know him! Where is he?” Gerard asks, excitedly. He can’t believe this is almost it, though, he’s about to ask Brendon for the thing he wants more than anything else in this world, and he’s so _close_. He might go to sleep tonight a free man. Gerard bites his lip, excitedly and he feels his heart beat quicken at the prospect that this might all be over soon. If his curse is taken away, he can have the opportunity to lag behind Frank, try not to trip over the fact that he’s attracted to the guy, and he won’t have to worry about being told what to do. Having the power to make his own choices is the most tantalizing prospect in the world.

“Oh, sorry to tell you, sir, but he left town not two hours ago,” the woman says, and Gerard feels his heart fall off a cliff and then shatter into a million tiny, jagged, little pieces. His face must fall because she gets a sympathetic look on her face. Gerard feels as though someone has squashed his lifelong dream though, and to an extent, that is what has happened.

“Did he say where he was going?” Gerard asks, voice wavering a little bit, because he feels as though he’s about to cry.

“I can’t say that he did,” she replies. “But you know who might know, Billie, the innkeeper.”

“Where can I find him?” Gerard asks.

“Oh, the inn is just a few streets over,” she replies. She gives him directions and then Gerard, without even thinking about telling Frank where he’s going, hurries off that way.

Gerard rushes through the town, and it’s certainly got out that the Prince was seen kissing a man, because Gerard literally hears it in passing conversation as he sprints through the town. The two human girls talking obviously don’t know that Gerard is the guy that Frank was kissing, but he feels himself turn the same pink color Frank had been, and he, even though it doesn’t seem possible, starts to run even faster. He’s kind of trying to outrun his problems, like they’re chasing him, and he knows he can’t escape them, but the faster he runs, the bigger head start he will have. 

Gerard finds the inn quickly, and he sees two horses that he recognizes on the hitching post outside of it. When Gerard rushes into the inn, he finds Pete and Patrick speaking with a man who looks fascinated with whatever they’re saying. Patrick, despite being awkward, is a good conversationalist, and Pete, from what Gerard has picked up, has little to no shame whatsoever, so he’s very good at talking to new people. 

“Hey, it’s Gerard!” Pete says when Gerard runs up to them, out of breath and completely exhausted. He just stops and breathes for a couple of moments before turning to the man behind the counter, who he assumes is the owner of the inn, given that he is the only person Gerard sees in the lobby apart from his friends.

“Are you Billie?” Gerard asks him.

“Sure am,” the guy says, “and you’re Gerard. I’ve heard an awful lot about you! Heard you arrived here with the Prince! Nothing quite that exciting has happened in this town in years.”

Gerard doesn’t stop to consider what Pete and Patrick could have possibly told him in the past forty minutes or so, and he also doesn’t bother to concern himself with small talk, instead hurrying into what he needs to ask, “I need help finding a fairy.”

“A fairy?” Billie asks. He’s a man with excessively untidy black hair, but he looks very kind, he’s just got one of those faces that you kind of trust even though you don’t know them. 

“Yes, his name is Brendon, and he has a really big forehead. It’s beyond important that I speak with him.”

Billie makes a face, and not the kind that Gerard would like to see right about now. “Sorry to tell you, but Brendon checked out a little over an hour ago.”

“I heard, but can you tell me where he went?” Gerard asks, practically pleads.

“Oh man, with the look on your face, I really wish I could say that I did, but I don’t. I can only say what room he stayed in, but beyond that, I haven’t the foggiest where he lives.”

Gerard feels his heart fall even further, “would it be possible for me to rent the room that he stayed in?”

“More than possible,” Billie says, “I’ve only got four rooms, and your friends here have already booked the lot of them. However, I have to tell you that the room has already been cleaned, and he didn’t leave anything behind.”

“Nothing? Nothing that might indicate where he went or where he lives?”

“Sorry, sir,” Billie shakes his head, and Gerard just nods, dejectedly.

Patrick and Pete look hesitant to say anything, because they can see that Gerard looks about ready to either cry, or punch something, or both.

“I’m sorry, man,” Pete says to him, and Gerard just shakes his head.

“It’s fine, it’s perfect. Of course he’s fucking… I don’t know, of course he’s fucking _gone_. Because when can life ever turn out your way, huh?”

“We’re not going to give up though,” Patrick says, “we came all this way, we’ll go more. We’re not going to just _not_ find him.”

“But what do we do now?” Gerard asks him, looking angry, and also heartbroken. Gerard then remembers his things, and remembers Mikey. “Where’s my book? Where’s the book I brought with me, the big one?”

“What?” Pete asks, looking concerned with Gerard’s quick change of subject.

“Where is my book?” Gerard repeats, with a new flash of adrenaline in his eyes.

“It’s with your stuff,” Patrick says, because he knows which book Gerard is talking about, whereas Pete doesn’t know that Gerard happens to have a magical book. Patrick does not however know that Gerard’s estranged younger brother happens to _be_ the book.

“I had all of your stuff sent up to the rooms,” Billie says. “They put it all in room one, figured you’d make your own room assignments.”

Billie backs away from his desk and then looks down under it for something, coming up with a shining gold key which he hands to Gerard.

“Room one, first one at the top of the stairs, can’t miss it,” Billie says, and Gerard takes it hurriedly, and then rushes up the steps. He can hear the silence of the men behind him, all too nervous to continue on with their conversation when Gerard is within earshot. Gerard doesn’t care, he doesn’t care how frantic or anxious he may seem. He needs to find Brendon, and it’s becoming more pressing by the second. Gerard’s heart rate grows ever faster with every breath that he takes, and his heart strains for freedom with ever more vigor. 

Gerard makes it up the stairs quickly, opens the door and then closes it behind him, looking at all of their stuff piled against the wall. The room is small, but two beds have managed to be crammed in. From the window, Gerard can see that there’s an eatery outside, with huge, Giant sized chairs tucked under tables. Gerard doesn’t pay any of this any mind, as he finds his stuff, and grabs Mikey hurriedly.

“It’s okay, we’re alone,” Gerard says when Mikey doesn’t appear. At the sound of his words, Mikey comes into view and Gerard looks down at him.

“Good news I hope?” Mikey asks, looking nervous but optimistic.

“Not exactly,” Gerard replies. “Brendon’s gone, not here. He left a few hours ago. A few _hours_. Only a handful of minutes before we got here. If only we had left earlier…”

“You couldn’t have known,” Mikey says, now wanting Gerard to end up blaming himself for something that he can’t have controlled.

“Well, anyway, can you tell me where Brendon lives?” Gerard asks.

“That I cannot do,” Mikey shakes his head, “I can only show you visuals of where people are, I don’t have any records as to where they live.”

“Fuck,” Gerard groans, “well then show me Brendon, maybe I can figure out where he is.”

Mikey’s head floats in a way that suggests a nod, and when Gerard opens the book, he’s met with the man whose face he loathes, simply because of the person it belongs to. He detests the man, hates him more even than he hates Edgar. There’s this indescribable feeling of hate in his stomach, like a boiling feeling. 

Unfortunately, Brendon is not in the same very distinct place that he had been earlier. He appears to just be in a building, god knows where, because it looks like it could be anywhere at all. There’s not distinct Giant features in the background, Brendon is just somewhere _else_ , somewhere that is not here.

It also doesn’t help that he’s a fairy, and he can use magic to get himself places faster. Ray isn’t a very good fairy, so he isn’t capable of any sophisticated magic, but supposedly, fairies can fly faster than horses can run. He could be hundreds of miles away.

“Fuck,” Gerard says, closing the book.

“Man, I wish I knew what to tell you,” Mikey says, looking sad.

“I just, I want to be fucking free, you know? I don’t want to go home now, and just have to tell Ray that I failed. I just… _failed_. Completely.”

“We’re not giving up here,” Mikey says. “Absolutely not. No way in hell.” 

“But-”

“No buts, Gerard,” Mikey says pointedly. “We are going to find this stupid fairy, and he is going to take back your curse. I don’t care how hard it will be, or how long we have to look for him. If one of us can be free from one of our curses, that’s good enough for me. There’s no reason to give up now, not when we’re this close.”

“He could be anywhere, Mikey. He could be on the other side of the Kingdom by now.”

“He could be. Or he could be less than an hour’s walk. We need to find him, Gerard, not finding him isn’t an option. You will get rid of this curse, that is a fact.”

“What if it takes forever though?” Gerard asks.

“Then we will try forever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it took me so long to update, I know I should have written this sooner! Please leave a comment if you liked it, because it means a lot to me!


	28. Moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gerard's not giving up.

Gerard talks to Mikey for a little while longer, because he can’t really focus on anything at all for more than a couple of seconds before his mind immediately jumps back to how depressed he is. He had been so sure that he was going to get rid of the curse today. He wanted so much for it to go away, but life does not agree with him.

“Don’t worry, Gerard,” Mikey says, “it’ll happen someday.”

“But what if it doesn’t?”

“Don’t allow yourself to think like that,” Mikey shakes his head. 

“Sorry, it’s just… it’s hard not to be negative when all I’ve seen of the world so far has been negative.”

“I get it, believe me, I do. Part of the thing that sucks the most about being, well, a fucking book, is that I can see just about anyone, at any time I want, and what I have seen does not always give me hope, but people are not all bad. I would actually say that people are basically good.”

“Yeah?” Gerard asks. “How much do you actually know about Frank? Like, not to be creepy, but have you ever looked in on him, do you know anything about him that I should maybe know?”

“Uh, I mean of course I’ve checked in on him a couple of time, he’s the Prince.”

“Yeah?” Gerard asks.

“Well, I can tell you that recently he’s got a crush on this one guy-”

“Oh, shut up,” Gerard says, blushing.

“Other than that his life is actually super boring. Like he doesn’t do much. At the castle, he mainly just walks around and talks to himself.”

“About what?”

“I don’t know!” Mikey says, “I can only _look_ at people, I can’t hear them.”

“Oh,” Gerard sighs. “Well do you know… does he… is he any different now than he used to be?”

“By ‘now’ do you mean since he’s met you?” Mikey asks.

“Well, kind of, yeah.”

“Well, if you want the completely honest answer, yes. There’s definitely a change in his demeanor. He’s much, I don’t know, I guess he’s just happier, and more upbeat. He smiles a lot more than he used to. That’s not saying much, because he really didn’t smile at all when I saw him, maybe I just never caught him when he was, but he always looked super bummed out about something or other.”

“Does he really smile more?” Gerard asks, his spirits perking up a little bit. Gerard thinks back and he’s surprised to find that almost all of his memories of Frank are of him smiling. He barely knows what Frank looks like when he’s not smiling. He doesn’t frown much. Or maybe, Gerard just has a really big effect on him, which sounds like it might be the case given what Mikey just said. 

“Yeah, definitely,” Mikey says, “listen, I love you, bro, I do, but I really don’t want to talk about your boyfriend with you, it’s making me uncomfortable.”

“My what?” Gerard asks, looking scared. “No, no. God, no. Definitely not. Fuck, maybe? I don’t know. Just, I’m sorry. I should go anyway.”

“Yeah, probably,” Mikey says. “Gotta go pretend you’re not falling in love with Frank.”

“Shut up,” Gerard says, but Mikey just laughs. Gerard hurries a goodbye, and then he’s heading out the door, trying to take his mind off of how much it hurts that he missed Brendon by a mere hour.

Gerard, after solemnly walking down the stairs of the inn, informs Patrick and Pete to tell the others where he and Frank will be. He heads back to the tavern, not wanting to leave Frank alone for any longer. He’s starting to miss Frank’s company. It feels weird that Frank’s not here, like he’s just _supposed_ to be by Gerard’s side. 

Gerard’s feeling fairly shitty, beyond shitty actually, and right now, all he wants is to just be near Frank. He considers pulling Patrick aside and talking with him, because he’s the only person Gerard is close to besides Frank and Mikey, but when he sees Pete and Patrick smiling and laughing, he can’t bring himself to.

The two of them, Gerard can’t put into words, honestly. Like even if Patrick weren’t insanely attracted to the guy, they just sort of make sense. They kind of just belong with each other. It doesn’t matter in what way, but they just do. And Gerard is definitely the slightest bit jealous, because Patrick is his best friend, he’s the guy he most relies on in this world, but also, Patrick smiles a lot when he’s with Pete. Like _a lot_. Like more than he’s ever smiled before. It’s not that he was unhappy, it’s just that he’s happier now. 

Gerard walks past the two of them, looks at how comfortable they are, and just unabashedly themselves. Patrick doesn’t seem to have the same level of internal conflict that Gerard does, or at least if he does, he doesn’t show it outwardly in the slightest. Gerard wants that. And he wants it with Frank. And the thing that sucks is that he’s scared about wanting that with Frank. It’s a paradox of want.

“Wait stop,” Patrick says before Gerard can exit the inn. Gerard makes an angry face, wanting to chew Patrick out for the order, but he just stops, turns, and looks back. Pete’s eyebrows wrinkle together at the way Gerard’s entire body tenses at Patrick’s words. There’s something not quite right about Gerard’s reaction. 

“Are you okay?” Patrick asks him. “I mean, I know it must be hard that we came all this way, and he’s not even here.”

Gerard nods, touched with his concern, but still annoyed by his order. “I’m not happy, no, but I’m not going to give up just yet. What my next step forward is, I do not yet know, but I will have one, with time.”

“Alright,” Patrick nods, and Gerard thinks that the conversation is over, so he turns back around again and heads toward the door once more. Pete watches him go for a few seconds before turning back to his conversation. 

Gerard makes his way across the town, liking the fact that people aren’t staring at him too much. At least not yet. He knows they’re going to find out sooner or later that he’s the one that the Prince was kissing. He considers hiding away in the room at the inn, but then his heart hurts at the prospect of suffering through his pain alone. He wants Frank with him, because he’s sure that Frank is the only person who can make him feel less awful about the fact that Brendon is gone. 

Gerard walks down the street again, and he feels as though it’s a new sight. He didn’t get the chance to actually take anything in when he had been running earlier, so now he gets a chance to actually see the town. It’s huge. Not because there’s a lot of people and a lot of buildings, but because all of the buildings are enormous. He walks past a wine shop and looks at the window to see bottles of wine bigger than he is. He considers how cost effective it is to buy Giant products, because you just get way more for your money, and then he realizes that most Giant products would kill him. Like he could literally get squashed by a wheel of cheese.

Gerard walks down the street, and hurries when he spots the tavern in front of him, knowing that Frank is in there somewhere and that he’s probably missing Gerard, or at least, wishing he weren’t alone. 

Gerard enters through the human entrance, walks up the long staircase, and then finds himself back on the bar counter where he’d been earlier. People look at him the second he steps foot on the landing. He knows he’s going to have to get used to that.

The barkeeper, calling over to him asks, “did you find your friend?”

“No,” Gerard shakes his head, and he doesn’t bother saying anything more before he walks over to where he sees Frank, still conversing with the Giant.

“Frank,” Gerard says, coming up behind him, and Frank turns to him excitedly, his face lighting up even more when he sees Gerard.

“I think he likes me,” Frank whispers to Gerard, who smiles back at him. Gerard doesn’t know why Frank seems so surprised by that though. Even Gerard likes him, after he had been so determined to hate him. If Frank can make Gerard of all people like him, he’s not going to have any trouble connecting with Koopooduk. Hell, Frank has made Gerard reconsider his entire life, Frank has definitely got a way with people. 

“You’re a decent person, Frank. Anyone who meets you can see that.”

“You found your friend, I hope?” Koopooduk asks, and Gerard shakes his head sadly.

Frank’s face falls when he sees the gesture, and he puts his hand on Gerard’s shoulder. “I am so sorry, Gerard.”

“It sucks,” Gerard says, because saying that it’s okay wouldn’t be accurate. It’s not okay. Nothing is okay. Gerard just wants his curse to go away. “I’m not giving up though. I can’t give up. I’ve travelled all this way, I’m not just going to throw it in now.”

“Do you know where he went?” Frank asks.

“No. I haven’t a clue. I don’t even know where he lives.”

“You know,” Frank says, getting a look on his face like he has an idea. “At the castle, we actually have a hall of records, where we keep the yearly census.”

“You mean, you have the records for where he lives?” Gerard asks, looking excited.

“Yeah, or at least, I can tell you anywhere that he’s lived for the past hundred or so years, we don’t ever throw the records away, though I couldn’t tell you why. Not everyone can just look at them, of course, but, I’m the Prince, I can probably pull a few strings.”

“Frank, are you being serious?”

“Absolutely!” Frank replies. “You wouldn’t have come all this way if it weren’t important, and I think it’s too late to deny that I like you. So anyway that I can help, I will.”

Frank leaves out the fact that he would do anything in this entire world to prolong his time with Gerard. He can’t imagine what’ll happen once Gerard’s goal is accomplished and he just goes home. Frank doesn’t think he’ll even accept it. He’ll buy Gerard a house in Lamia if he has too, hell, he’ll give the guy a room in the castle if it keeps him close. 

“That would mean more to me than you know,” Gerard says, tempted to kiss the guy, but then he remembers Koopooduk standing right there and he decides against it.

“You’re not leaving so soon, are you?” Koopooduk asks.

“We really should be going,” Gerard says, frowning.

“Gerard, the sun’s going to set in less than an hour, and we’ve got a two days’ trip back to the castle. There’s really no point in leaving until sunrise.”

“Are you sure?” Gerard asks. They did already book the rooms at the inn, but if they get started now, that’ll cut half a day off of their trip. Gerard really wants to find Brendon as fast as he can, and he doesn’t like being patient at the best of times. 

“We’re going to need sleep eventually. Wouldn’t you rather do that on a bed in a room than on the ground in the middle of the forest?”

Gerard considers it, making a face, but even he can’t deny that Frank makes a point. Leaving now would be pointless, and he does really want to sleep on a bed, it feels like it’s been years since he was in his own bed, and he longs for it. Any bed at all at this point would do. 

“Fine,” Gerard sighs, and he contemplates what it’ll be like spending another few days with Frank. He hadn’t even considered the fact that finding Brendon today would have implied that he’d have to say goodbye to Frank. He would have just gone home, he supposes, and Frank would have gone back to the castle. 

He can’t even imagine being away from Frank though. He just adores having the guy around. Honestly he thinks he might be falling in love with him, and he doesn’t know what to do with that. He doesn’t know what you’re supposed to do when you fall in love. But he’s pretty sure that it’s going to be Frank on his mind every night for the rest of his life. He’s never going to forget the feelings he has for this man.

“Excellent!” Koopooduk says, emphatically. He turns to look at the Giant behind the bar, and says something about how the Prince is staying in town overnight, and how nothing this exciting has happened since someone’s house burned down a few years ago. Gerard doesn’t know if he would want to live in a town where the only exciting thing that’s happened has been a fire. To be fair though, nothing so exciting as a fire has happened in Frell for a few centuries. 

Frank just shrugs at Gerard and grabs his hand, pulling him over to a corner of the bar where hopefully they can just sit alone by themselves.

“So what did you two talk about?” Gerard asks him.

“I told him about some of the policies I’ve got in mind for the future,” Frank says.

“Policies?” Gerard asks, “since when do you have policies? Since when do you know what policy even means?”

“Oh, shut up,” Frank groans, but he’s smiling at Gerard when they sit down in the corner, right next the fireplace. It somehow feels more secluded here even though it’s far more brightly illuminated than the rest of the room around them. Everyone can see them here, he’s sure, but no one else can hear them talking, so it’s a tradeoff. 

Frank’s sure he’s going to have to speak with some more townsfolk before the night is over, but right now, he just wants to be with Gerard. Really, he always wants to be with Gerard, but if he doesn’t have that right now, he’s sure he’ll just breakdown and cry. 

“So what are these policies then?” Gerard asks.

“Basic stuff,” Frank shrugs, “I want to abolish the act that forces elves into entertainment. Pete was telling me earlier that he wants to be poet? It never even occurred to me that elves were essentially enslaved. He’s not allowed to hold most jobs. It’s not fair.”

“That’s not basic,” Gerard says, “that’s huge, that’s monumental. That’s life changing for a lot of people.” Gerard kind of feels something like pride at the thought that Frank has come up with that idea. It’s not that he credits himself as to why Frank came up with that, he’s just proud that the guy he likes has had that idea at all. 

“Well it’s the least they deserve. I also want to stop the forced employment of Giants as well. Do you know they’re forced to tend to crops? This town doesn’t really even look it, but this is a hub of sadness, and is predominantly run on forced labor. It makes me sad, knowing what little say these people have. Everyone deserves a say in the matter.”

“Tell me about it,” Gerard huffs, because if there’s anyone who knows how important it is to make your own choices, it’s him. “What do you plan to do about Ogrecide?”

“That I’m not sure about,” Frank says, shaking his head. “My father was killed by an Ogre, and just yesterday, I almost lost you.”

“But they’re being killed off in high numbers,” Gerard says. “Does that not seem corrupt?”

“I just question the danger in growing numbers of Ogres. Maybe, controlling the population isn’t such a bad thing.”

“Not all of them want to kill people. And the more that are killed off, the angrier they are likely to grow. Right now, they are already diminishing in civility, if you allow more of them to die, this will only become a more rapid descent into animosity.”

“But some of them want to kill people no matter the state of the Kingdom,” Frank says. “You of all people should understand my wariness.”

“I do understand that, but I’m telling you, as someone who was attacked by Ogre’s, and was almost killed by them too, I don’t support their genocide. If anything, my opinion matters more than most others _because_ of my experience.”

“Gerard, sometimes I can’t believe you’re real,” Frank says, shaking his head, but the look on his face is one that gives Gerard a soft, fuzzy feeling throughout his entire body.

Gerard’s surprised when Travie comes up behind them a moment later and he’s got a curious expression on his face.

“There you two are!” Travie says.

“Here we are,” Frank replies.

“I heard your fairy is out of town,” Travie says, frowning as he looks at Gerard.

“Yeah,” Gerard says, feeling a cold sensation wash over him at the reminder. He doesn’t want to think about the fact that he still has the curse. He made it all the way here, to his destination, and he hasn’t even found the person who can take it away yet. 

“I’m taking him to the hall of records,” Frank says, “we’re going to find his fairy if it’s the last thing we ever do.”

“Oh, okay,” Travie nods. “So you two get to spend more time together, that’s… convenient.” 

“What?” Gerard asks.

Travie ignores his question and says, “I’m going to go, I don’t want to spoil your guys’ moment, or whatever.”

“We’re not having a moment!” Gerard says, calling after him as he walks over to the bar counter where the rest of their party is all gathered, Patrick looking over at them quizzically. Travie just winks back at Gerard at his words, and Gerard turns scarlet.

“I don’t know, it felt kind of momenty to me,” Frank shrugs. 

“Shut up,” Gerard snaps at him, though he’s blushing.

“You shut up,” Frank says, and Gerard grins. There are very few phrases that sound like they might be orders which Gerard’s body does not accept as an order, and thank god ‘shut up’ is one of them because that’s got to be at least three fourths of his vocabulary, and vice versa. 

“What is a moment?” Gerard asks, because he’s not sure he’s thinking the same thing that the other two are.

“It’s just… a moment? I don’t know? Like, kind of, sort of, like, romanticish?”

“Oh,” Gerard says, nodding. That’s what he had thought. He supposes they were having a moment then. 

Gerard bites his lip, because he doesn’t know what happens now. He doesn’t know what happens after a ‘moment.’ Or _during_ a moment, strictly speaking.

“Kiss me,” Frank says, and Gerard feels a boiling, intense sense of hatred all of a sudden. He’s almost tempted to punch Frank in the fucking face.

Gerard doesn’t need to be _ordered_ to kiss Frank. That’s the last thing he needs. He needs to be ordered not to kiss Frank. And the fact that Frank, this guy he’s absolutely crazy for, would order him with something as big and important as that, it sickens him.

This is the reason for why he is on this whole adventure in the first place. It’s not to fall in love with Frank, or to be ordered around by him, it’s to get rid of the curse. Frank ordering him around, Frank of all people, it hurts him more than when anyone else tells him to do something. Because this is _Frank_. 

Frank the future King. Frank the guy that’s made Gerard question everything he thought he knew about the world. Frank who makes him feel like he’s living. Frank who he’s desperately falling in love with.

“That wasn’t an order or anything,” Frank says, “just, I mean, just if you want to. Fuck, never mind, I’m an ass, I’m sorry.”

Gerard feels like someone poured sand over his sudden hatred, because now, he most definitely wants to kiss Frank, but he does not feel ordered to. Now he just really wants to make the fuck out with this boy. 

He’s in disbelief that Frank took back an order. That rarely ever happens. When it does, it’s usually Ray, who realizes only after saying something that it’s an order. Frank took it back all by himself, without even knowing about the curse.

Frank taking back an order has honestly got to be the hottest thing in the entire fucking world. It leaves Gerard feeling kind of weak-kneed. 

Gerard can feel the whole room, and he can feel that a majority of the room has eyes on him. Only a little ways away there’s Pete, Patrick, and all the Knights, people who Gerard would even consider friends at this point. So many people looking at him, and at Frank, and in twenty minutes, most of them will still be looking at him and Frank, because this is the fucking Prince. Who doesn’t want to be looking at him? He takes up almost all of every space he’s in, because his presence is so huge, and so important and so surreal. Frank’s always going to have all eyes on him. 

For the rest of his life, Frank is going to have all eyes trained on him. Every day, every night, every week, every year. Frank will have eyes on him at every single turn, every single breath. Gerard’s not sure he can handle that. Because if he is next to Gerard, then all the eyes on Frank will also be on him. Gerard will be as much in the eyes of people as Frank is. Right now, he’s got practically the same number of people looking at him as there are looking at Frank.

It’s weird, it makes his skin crawl, knowing how many people are looking at him. Big people, little people, people he knows, people he doesn’t know. He can’t even yawn without everybody in the room knowing about it.

But at the same time, the secret is out. People know that Frank kissed a guy, and with the way that they’ve been clinging to each other, and the way that Frank _looks_ at him, there can’t be many doubts as to who the person that Frank was kissing is.

He questions why he’s so embarrassed and nervous when there’s nothing to be done. Everyone already knows. Certainly, all of Frank’s Knights know, like there was every any real doubt. They’re the ones who Gerard was originally concerned with, because strangers scare him a lot, of course they do, but when someone who _knows_ you knows your secret, even if you don’t know them very well, that’s a really big deal. That’s someone who you will see again who will know something very deep and private about you, that you wish no one knew, but they know now.

So, if everyone knows, then what is Gerard actually hiding?

Gerard dwells on this for only a few moments before he decides that he doesn’t have anything to lose. He grabs Frank by the sides of his face and pulls him in for a kiss, and not one of the scared, secret kisses that they’ve had so far, but like and actual, real, _kiss_.

It’s like a hunger, a craving, that Gerard just needs to satiate or he’ll die. He just needs to kiss Frank, and he needs to be near the guy. He just needs Frank. He doesn’t care in what way, he just needs him, and it’s taken him a long time to come by this information, but he is sure, undoubtedly sure, that his life is nothing anymore if Frank isn’t in it. He doesn’t know how he could have made it all this time without him. 

He doesn’t know how he could ever have convinced himself he hated this man. How could he have ever hated Frank? Frank makes him feel alive, not just a little bit, but like he’s a real, actual, human being who’s out in the world, _doing_ something.

And kissing him, how could Gerard have ever convinced himself he didn’t want this? He’s so far past the point of attracted to Frank, he doesn’t know the words for what he feels. He just wants Frank. He wants him like he’s never wanted anyone or anything. He feels an entirely different way about Patrick. A different language, and planet away from what he feels about Patrick. Frank is different, and new, and alarming, and so very much perfect. 

Gerard becomes aware that he’s been kissing Frank for about two minutes past socially acceptable. He’s aware that he’s now probably going to be considered a whole assortment of dirty words by all of these strangers, because you do not kiss people in public, not in this fucking century. And you definitely don’t kiss people for longer than a few seconds. And you definitely don’t kiss the Prince. And you definitely don’t kiss a boy when _you’re_ a boy.

Gerard pulls away when he has that thought and he turns such a violent shade of red that he can feel it in his toes.

“What was that?” Frank says, looking pleased and surprised and a little pink himself. That could be due to many reasons. He didn’t expect Gerard to actually kiss him. He just slipped before, didn’t filter his own words before they came out. But Gerard actually kissed him. _Gerard_ kissed _him_.

Come to think of it, Frank thinks that all of their kisses were initiated by Gerard. He had thought he was pressuring Gerard, but Gerard’s the one who’s been egging them on. Not that Frank hasn’t of course, he just hasn’t been as good at actually starting anything. 

“I don’t know,” Gerard says, shaking his head. “I’m regretting it now, everyone’s staring at me.”

Gerard looks around to see that everyone is indeed staring at him. Especially their own party, none of whom look entirely shocked so much as they look surprised.

“Because of the actual kiss or because of the fact that people are looking at us?”

“No the kiss was great,” Gerard says, meekly, and Frank beams widely back at him.

“It’s fine, Gerard,” Frank chides, “let them stare. Fuck them. Who are _they_?”

“They’re your people, Frank,” Gerard says, shaking his head, because this is precisely what he and Koopooduk had discussed not twenty minutes ago.

“I mean, who are they to the fact that I’m falling in love with you?” Frank says, and Gerard looks up at him, surprised by that even though Frank’s said it before.

“What?”

“You’re an idiot.” Frank shakes his head.

Gerard just nods and grabs Frank again, because he’s got a point. Who are they? Who are they to say no, to tell them to stop, to judge. They’re no one. Gerard doesn’t believe in subjugation, but honestly, this isn’t about subjugating, this is about people being assholes. Gerard likes Frank. He doesn’t care what they think. Well, he still does, but he’s trying not to. So, what if they judge him for kissing Frank? They’re opinions mean nothing to how he feels about Frank. If Gerard’s passion were a candle, they’re judgement isn’t even a gust of wind.

But Gerard’s passion for Frank isn’t a candle. It’s a bonfire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, it's been a VERY exciting few weeks for me. Namely, I got my first tattoo, my birthday was on Wednesday... oh and I kind of got married.


	29. Hold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Going deep with Frank and Gerard.

After another hour or so of Frank constantly being walked up to and asked increasingly personal questions from what feels like half of the people of Giantville, they all decide to turn in for the night. They’ve a long few days ahead of them, and they need to rest in order to make it through them.

Frank stays close to Gerard as they walk through the streets, the city dark, but alive, unlike Frell which usually goes to sleep before the sun even goes down. The Giants and humans of Giantville are all far livelier than the people of Frell. People there are born tired. People here are alive and vibrant, which is refreshing. 

They all pile into the small little inn, with Billie looking surprised by the sudden intrusion, but he looks down quickly when he lays eyes on Frank. 

Gerard keeps forgetting that Frank is royalty. He knows that Frank is royal, of course he’s royal, but he just doesn’t act like it. He doesn’t look down on people, or if he does he’s good about making amends for it. Frank is the kindest royalty the earth has ever seen, probably, and the most down to earth without a doubt. It kind of makes Gerard like him more than he already does which is saying something.

“Okay, so how are we going to divvy up the rooms?”

“Well there’s only four rooms,” Patrick says. “And there’s eight of us.”

“That’s not nearly enough,” Frank says, scowling slightly.

“All the rooms have two beds… sire,” Billie says, looking wary about interrupting their conversation, probably because Frank is the _Prince_. 

“Right,” Frank nods, “Well then, Ryan, Alex and Travie, you’ll have to share. Pete and Patrick, you two will have to share as well. Hayley gets her own room, and then me and Gerard will take the last one.”

Hayley shrugs, “Travie can bunk with me, I don’t mind.”

“Okay,” Frank nods. It makes more sense that way, he knows, but Hayley’s the only girl, so he doesn’t want to be presumptuous. “We need to be awake early, I want to be off just past sunrise, and allow the daylight to guide us home, so we need to be awake before dawn. Tomorrow we ride all day, so prepare for the journey, all of you.”

The knights all nod courteously at Frank, and then two of them, Ryan and Travie, branch off towards the stairs. Frank follows them, so Gerard does too, and then their party is all making their way up the stairs. 

Gerard follows Frank into the room that he’d been in earlier, and sees that someone has already moved all of their stuff, he doesn’t know how Travie and Ryan were so quick, but it could only have been them, because only Frank and Gerard’s things remain in the room. Mikey’s book is still lying on the bedspread where he’d set him down earlier, and he looks at it, smiling lightly when he remembers Mikey.

“We should get rest,” Frank says, “though I am not tired.”

“Nor am I,” Gerard replies, shrugging. 

Frank nods, and he looks around, spotting his things and then digging through one of his bags quickly. Gerard watches him, he doesn’t even know why he does, he just can’t look away. Frank pulls a shirt from his bag, and then Gerard is turning the color of a strawberry, because Frank’s pulling his tunic off over his head.

Gerard looks away, because he’s a fucking idiot, but Frank’s back is turned so he doesn’t even know what a wimp Gerard is. Gerard can’t himself though, so he peaks over, with the intent to only look for a second, but then he sees that Frank’s got some black ink running up along his back which hypnotizes Gerard more than he would care to admit.

Gerard hasn’t met anyone with a tattoo before, besides the man who used to own the bank in Frell. He died a few years ago, but he was the only person Gerard ever knew who was rich enough to afford it. Gerard doesn’t have enough time or a good enough angle to figure out what exactly Frank has inked on him, but he knows that whatever it is, it must suit him. Come to think of it, Frank’s personality suits a tattoo or two. It would be weird if he didn’t have one. 

Gerard doesn’t say anything, he just awkwardly stares at Frank until he pulls the shirt he’d grabbed over his head, and he turns around.

“What?” Frank asks, when he turns to see Gerard looking at him. 

“Nothing,” Gerard says, though his word is unintelligible because of the wicked dry mouth Frank just gave him.

“Do you want to come over here?” Frank asks, “and talk, I mean? Just until we get tired?”

Gerard nods, and he steps over to the spot next to Frank on the bed. Gerard sees Frank pulling his shoes off, and decides he should do the same. When he’s done, he looks back up to see Frank looking at him.

“Now you’re looking at _me_ ,” Gerard says.

“Sorry,” Frank says, “you’re just, really, really beautiful.”

Gerard turns pink again, somehow only now realizing he’s alone with Frank. He can do anything in here, anything and no one is there to look at them. No one is there to judge him.

So, if Gerard were to kiss Frank, no one would be there to judge him for it. Gerard does just that, kissing him softly, before pulling away and smiling.

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” Frank says, out of nowhere, and Gerard is alarmed by his words. He doesn’t know what to do with that information.

“Me?” Gerard asks.

“Yes, you,” Frank says, “who else?”

“I don’t know. It’s just, no one’s ever said anything like that to me before.”

“No one?” Frank ask. “You’re amazing, Gerard, surely everyone who meets you must see that.”

“No. People don’t tend to like me very much. I kind of just, I don’t know, people find me unsettling.”

“Why is that?”

“I don’t know. I wish I could control how people see me though, because I know it’s not good. People don’t like me that much, and I’m used to it. It’s just kind of who I am, so I expect it, but it gets to be saddening after a certain extent.”

“Anyone who doesn’t see your brilliance is an idiot.”

“I wish other people thought that.”

Frank shakes his head, “I’m glad I’ve never met the people who think that of you, because I swear I would cut out their tongues for even thinking anything so negative of you.”

“The whole Kingdom would be mute.”

“So be it.”

“I wouldn’t ask you to do that. Like I said, I’m used to it. But still, it pains me. It’s just that… my entire life, I have been second rate. I’ve been pushed aside, walked over, used and thrown away, and I just, I am sick of it. I am sick of always being the leftover, the black sheep, the one that nobody else wants. Because no one wants me. No one does. My own goddamn father doesn’t want me. I am just this guy who no one remembers, no one gives more than a second thought about, they just sort of forget about me. People see me, and people use my name in infamy, but no one really _cares_. No one actually knows me, no one cares to learn, no one bothers. I’m just here, sort of existing and no one notices enough to pay any attention.”

“Gerard, you are noticed. You are important, people care a lot about you. I care.”

“But you don’t know, Frank. You’ve known me a few days. You don’t even really know who I am. You don’t see the way people treat me. You don’t see the way everybody avoids eye contact with me, because no one wants to associate with me. It’s not even really because I’ve done anything to them, or because of my personality, it’s just because I’m so unlikeable that it doesn’t register in their brains that I exist. They don’t seem to remember to use common courtesy, I’m just blah.”

“You’re not blah, Gerard, I don’t know what you’re getting at.”

“What I’m getting at is that if I were to die tomorrow, no one would really care. Sure, people might shed a few tears, I might get a few mourners, but they’ll move on and forget in a few days. No one actually cares about me, and it’s not something I’m saying because I’m down, or because I want reassurance, it’s something that I know to be true. I am so little to other people. I’m barely a dot, barely worthy of a memory. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to get people to see that I am here, that I want to contribute, want to be someone, because they just look over me.”

“Gerard, if anyone looks over you it’s because you gave them the opportunity,” Frank says.

“No,” Gerard shakes his head.

“Yes. It’s because you didn’t say anything. You didn’t make conversation, didn’t bother to get them to actually know you. If you don’t put an effort into other people, they won’t put the effort into you.”

“Frank-”

“Who do you talk to, Gerard?” Frank asks, “who do you open conversations with, talk to even when you don’t have to, talk to just because you want to talk, make small talk, anything. Who do you talk to instead of just shrugging at?”

“Mostly just Ray and Patrick, and you now,” Gerard says.

“Well then why would you expect other people to notice you? Gerard, if you remain quiet, stay in the shadows, don’t initiate conversation and don’t pick it up when it’s offered to you, then why should anyone notice you? If you’re not going to actually be a person in their life than it’s not their fault if they don’t care.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“Sometimes, it is. In this case, I think you’ll find that it is. I know it’s not what you want to hear, but I get it too, Gerard. I don’t talk to a lot of people, I don’t really want to hang out with people, or talk to them all the time, and yet I feel completely alone. It’s my own fault, and I know it is, but I still feel like people don’t care about me. It’s because I haven’t given them a reason to care. I’m still the prince, people do still have to be nice to me, but no one really wants to get to know me, and it’s because I’m unapproachable, I don’t give people the opportunity to actually get to know me. People who don’t know me, of course they don’t care.”

“Frank, just because I don’t talk to people doesn’t mean I’m not trying,” Gerard says. “I can’t… I don’t have the same options as other people.”

“Gerard, you and I, we both have a lot to prove to the world. Even though what I do is more public, it doesn’t make it any more than who you are. We’re… we’re fucking pathetic, man. We’re great people, hell, you’re the most amazing guy I’ve ever met, I’m fucking crazy about out, and for some reason, no one seems to give a shit about either of us? Like, that’s crazy, right? We’re great! We don’t talk to anyone though, I mean come on, who are we to blame the world when it’s our own damn fault.”

“I’m afraid of people,” Gerard replies, quietly. He doesn’t know how to put it in any other way. Frank has a point, he does, but Frank also doesn’t have the same boundaries that Gerard has. Gerard has to be wary of every single person he meets. He has to be cautious at every twist and turn, because he’s got a curse that could be life destroying if he’s not careful about it. Gerard has everything to lose at every curve, and every person has a stake in that.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that people are not always decent. They can hurt me in ways that you couldn’t understand. I’m vulnerable, and I don’t say that to make myself sound bad, I say it because I know it to be true. There’s something you don’t know about me, Frank. Something no one knows about me. And I want with everything in my heart to tell you, to make you understand, but I can’t. I’m just scared. I’m scared of everyone, including you Frank, including every single person I’ve ever met, because one wrong move and a whole lot of hell could be unleashed and I won’t be able to stop it.”

“I don’t know what you mean,” Frank shakes his head, “people aren’t bad. Not all bad at least. Some people, don’t get me wrong, some people are awful, the definition of shitty, but people as a whole are not bad. People are good.”

“People are good until you view them the way I’m forced to,” Gerard says.

“I believe that people are basically good.”

“My brother said almost the same thing,” Gerard says, smiling a little bit. Frank reminds him of Mikey a little bit. It’s this very discreet, subtle similarity, but they’ve got similar mannerisms. Frank tells a story the way Mikey does. 

Frank stops, looking confused, “you have a brother?”

“What?” Gerard stops for a moment to realize that he never told Frank about Mikey. He doesn’t know what he can say about him either. He can’t tell Frank that Mikey is a book, because Mikey would be mad, but he also can’t tell him he doesn’t have a brother because he just said he did. Mikey’s only a few feet away and yet Gerard can’t introduce the two of them. 

“I, yeah, I have a brother. Kind of. I mean, I haven’t seen him in years,” Gerard says, deciding on telling Frank the truth, or the truth that he knew only a few days ago. “He was, is, I don’t know, he’s the most important person in the world to me.”

“So what happened? Where is he?”

“I don’t know really. He was sent off to a school and I haven’t seen him since. You’d like him, I think. He’s very clever. I think he’d like you too.”

“What’s his name?” Frank asks.

“Mikey.”

“Mikey,” Frank says, trying it out on his tongue. “I like that. I hope I get to meet him someday.”

“Me too,” Gerard says, smiling. “What about you?”

“I don’t have any siblings.”

“No, I know. But what was your dad like? King Jerrold? He was a great man.”

“So everyone tells me,” Frank says, sounding agitated, but he smiles lightly. “I don’t know, he was… I barely have any memory of him, honestly. From what I do remember, he was always, he was very supportive. He believed in me, more than anyone ever has, certainly more than my Uncle. I’ve told you about how I struggle with reading, well my father was the only person who didn’t judge me for that. He didn’t think I was a failure, or anything, he wanted me to just feel normal, even though I was different in all ways conceivable to other kids my age.”

“He sounds nice,” Gerard says.

“He could also be very brash though. He was quick to anger, quick to blame. He was by no means a perfect man, but he was a good one, I think. I would give anything to have him back, but I don’t know if I’d like him as much as my memories of him.”

“I wish I could have my mom back too,” Gerard says. “She would love you. My, she would adore you. She’d probably adopt you as her son, because you don’t have any parents and that’s just the way she was.”

“Yeah?” Frank says, grinning widely. “I’d love to have met her. If she raised you, she must have been an angel.”

“She was,” Gerard nods.

Frank smiles faintly, and looks at Gerard next to him. He couldn’t put it into words, but he gets a sudden urge to lean over and kiss him. He doesn’t even think about it, he just leans over, puts a hand on Gerard’s neck and kisses him. It’s the first time Frank’s ever initiated it, but Gerard doesn’t push him away, he makes a soft, contented sound, and lets Frank kiss him for a couple of minutes, neither of them caring at all, because they’re alone and it feels nice. 

Frank thinks about Gerard, and about all the things that he means to him, and it almost makes him cry, because Gerard means so much it’s not even possible to quantify it. Gerard just means everything and more, he’s a life that Frank never thought he could have, never even thought he’d live to see, and now Gerard is here. He’s here, and Frank can’t believe it’s allowed by earth to feel this happy, but with Gerard, he just is. 

“I really need this right now,” Frank says, unintentionally sounding a little broken when he says it.

“What?” Gerard asks, concerned. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Frank says, trying to shake it off, “Don’t worry about it.”

“Please,” Gerard asks, looking pleading, and Frank just about melts when Gerard bats his eyelashes a few times, and he probably doesn’t even know the way that it affects Frank, doesn’t have any clue that it drives him insane. 

“It’s complicated, Gerard, I don’t want to worry you or bore you or anything.”

“You couldn’t bore me,” Gerard says. “I’m not able to be bored by you.”

“I don’t know how to say it though,” Frank shrugs. “I just, I have a lot of trouble living I guess.”

“Living?”

“Continuing on?” Frank offers.

“I don’t think I like the sound of that.”

“I don’t want to be here, Gerard,” Frank says, “not like _here_ in particular, I just don’t want to be here at all.”

“What do you mean?” Gerard asks, not liking the way it sounds. He doesn’t think he wants to know what demons lurk in Frank mind. He wants to make Frank feel better about them, wants to completely eradicate them if he can, but he’s concerned that knowing what torments Frank will make him sick. He thinks that he could actually vomit at the mere prospect of Frank being unhappy.

Gerard’s never felt so strongly about a single sole in the world. Sure, he hates it when Ray or Patrick is upset, but he doesn’t feel like he’s going to be physically sick when they are down. He just wishes that things could be better for them. With Frank, it’s like he wants to hurt anyone who has ever even thought about harming him. 

“It’s not something I can put into words. It’s just that… well, all the things of which I know I stand for are things that others don’t. I stand for love, and innocence, and… tolerance. Above all else, I think, I believe in tolerance. These things, my people do not agree with. A King should be brave, noble, stern, resilient, strong, and logical. I am none of these things. I am sensitive, far too much so. I’m emotional. I’m… I’m in love with a man, which is just… to many people, even to you, it’s just seen as wrong. I am a person who was never meant to be, never meant to live, not even to mention a King, and here I am, and no one wants that. No one wants me for who I am, because of what it is that makes me who I am.”

“What?” Gerard asks, not sure Frank said what he thinks he just said.

“Oh, damn it all, Gerard. I do not expect you to love me back, but I cannot say that I don’t. I love you, Gerard, it’s not even a secret, I’ve just been neglecting to tell you because I haven’t the right poetic way to say it. But I can’t exactly hide it, so I don’t care how unglamorous it may sound. I love you. I’ll shout it out the window if you need me to, but I digress. That’s not the problem though, not really at least. Because, I love you, very much so, but in the end, even if you do end up loving me back, this Kingdom, it does not respect that.”

“You said that it wasn’t illegal-”

“It’s not. It’s not a written rule anywhere, but, you saw the way people looked at us today! Those were my people. They looked at me like you would look at a dead rat, and I am their _Prince_. I will someday rule them and yet they’ve the nerve to look at me like a piece of garbage for doing nothing more than kissing the person I’m in love with.”

“But you are the King,” Gerard says, he’s choosing to move past the fact that Frank said he loved him for now, because he’s really concerned with Frank’s words. Frank’s safety comes first, before anything else, then he’ll focus on the fact that he said he loves him. “Why should it affect you, what they think? You have the power of the law in your hands, or you will someday. Why should it matter how they think?”

“I’ve got feelings, Gerard. I know I don’t show it often, but it pains me quite a bit. Knowing that people look down on my discretions like that. I try so hard to be the best that I can be, and people throw that away just because of… you. And I’m not blaming you, because it’s not _you_ they dislike, it’s the fact that I like you that they can’t handle.”

“Not everyone feels that way,” Gerard says. “Everyone who knows us, who really knows us, they don’t feel that way. Other people are sure to follow.”

“That doesn’t make me feel any better though,” Frank says. “I’m just so sick of not being good enough. Like, it was a crude reminder meeting you, because I thought that the one thing I had right was my politics. My image I knew that would fade, knew that once people found out, they would think poorly of me. But I thought that what I could do for the kingdom could make up for that, or at least, dampen it. And then I realized I had everything wrong. I mean, my Uncle, he mustn’t know to what extent all of his policies have hurt people, because if he does, well then, he’s an enormous piece of garbage. I just thought I had at least one thing right. Now I see that I never did have a thing right to begin with.”

“You are so good,” Gerard says, “I am sorry that I offended or hurt you in this way, but I hope you know that people correcting you, or debating with you isn’t an insult. It’s advice that you, as a future King, need to take to heart.”

“I know, and I get it. It’s just that… life is hard, okay? And I know I’m not supposed to say that because I’m rich and royalty, and only people in poor situations are allowed to say that, but fuck it, life is fucking hard. It’s absolutely killing me.”

“You’re allowed to be in pain,” Gerard says. “But I want you to know that I’m here for you. You can tell me anything that you need to, if you think it will help.”

“I know, and I trust you, Gerard. I trust you a lot. I just don’t know how to describe it. I’m just sad. Like all of the time. Like my life is just this one big never ending, I don’t know, clump? It’s a big clump of not knowing what to do, who to be. It just leaves me feeling hollowed out, and drowned, and broken, and so many other things that I hate and can’t put up with anymore.”

“Why are you sad, is it because of… of the fact that you like boys?” 

“That’s a part of it, yes. Mostly it’s that I have everything planned for me, there’s such an obvious path, and I don’t get to go against it, and you’d think that would provide me with clarity, give me something to hold onto, but I just feel like I’m walking down an endless road that leads to nowhere. I can’t stop being sad. There’s nothing I can do. But when I’m with you, you distract me from the fact that I feel like dying every second I keep breathing, but in the end, I always go to sleep and it’s, like, why? What am I doing? I’m just surviving at this point, I’m not doing anything to make my own life worth anything, I’m just prolonging the inevitable.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that every single time I wake, I’m sad that I did. Every time I have to pull myself into action, actually do something, it’s like I’m fighting an uphill battle that I know I’ll never win. Life is so hard, it keeps on dragging, like my feet are stuck in mucky water that’s trying to keep me down, sink me, like an anchor. I don’t know why I keep on doing this, day in and day out, when I don’t even want to. I don’t want to be here, Gerard, and I don’t think there’s ever been a time in my life where I ever have.”

“Not even for your people?” Gerard asks. “Not even for the betterment of the Kingdom?”

“You can’t understand, Gerard. I’ve never wanted to be King. Not a single day in my entire life have I ever envied my Uncle, or my father before him. Never have I had the desire to be in charge, to be the one and only power over all of this land. I don’t want it. I don’t want this, I don’t want to be alive, I don’t want anything. I just kind of _am_. I’m not like a real person anymore, I’m just a vessel that keeps walking around because that’s what you’re supposed to do.”

“You can’t say you’d rather be dead,” Gerard shakes his head.

“And why not?”

“Because you can’t,” Gerard says, thinking that’s enough of an answer.

“That’s my point exactly. It’s not okay to rather be dead than to be alive, and yet I feel it in every single step I take, but I just have to hold it in, because that’s not acceptable. I am not acceptable. I am mediocre. If I were to just die now, no one would ever forgive me. And that’s probably the only thing that keeps me alive at this point. The fact that, if I were to die, I would be a coward, a pathetic _dead_ coward. No one would ever forget my name, but I would not live on in a good manner, I would live on as the nothing that I know myself to be. I would live on in infamy, and I think I’d rather live unhappily than die in that fashion.”

“You are not nothing,” Gerard says, “you could never be nothing. You are possibly the only ever royalty that this kingdom will ever see who is real, and honest, and good. You are… the greatest man I’ve ever met, Frank. I say this not because I think it’s what you want to hear, but because I know it to be true. I know many great people, many good people too. I have never met one so much of both as you.”

“Gerard-”

“Is life not worth living when I’m around?” Gerard asks, “because I’ve noticed a similar pattern. Life is tough, and no one ever thinks highly of you, no matter who you are or what you do. It sucks, and there’s no way to avoid it. But being with you these past few days, knowing you, letting you in, it’s made me feel alive. For the very first time in my life, it’s like I’m doing something with my existence, and it’s not that I wasn’t alive before, it’s just that, I didn’t know how good life could be until you were in it.”

Frank smiles, briefly, and then looks at Gerard, “Gerard, you are an idiot if you think you don’t make me happy. It’s true that I haven’t been in pain as much since knowing you. I don’t think you can ever truly erase this weight in me, but you have made it feel less.”

“Frank,” Gerard says weakly, unable to form any words that can express what he’s feeling right now. He just wants to protect this guy. He wants to give him warmth, hold him when the days feel long, kiss the pain away.

Gerard leans closer to him and wraps his arms around him, because there’s nothing he wants more than just to show Frank that he’s _here_. And that he’s not going anywhere. Gerard doesn’t know how to describe the feeling he has. He just feels so proprietary over this man, and he knows it’s an illusion, he doesn’t own Frank, or have any real claim to him, but he wants to protect him, keep him safe, as if he did. He wants Frank to just get the most out of this world that a person can get.

Gerard buries his head into Frank’s neck, closing his eyes. He just stays there for a few minutes, doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t feel that he needs to. He just wants to keep Frank here with him.

“I’m sorry that life hurts,” Gerard says, “but when I’m with you, it’s not so bad.”

Gerard can feel Frank smiling at his words, and he pulls him even tighter to him. With him here like this, he can take Frank in in an entirely new way. Frank smells so very much like Frank. If Gerard could label the smell, it would be just that, Frank. He smells rustic, and homey. He reminds Gerard of firewood. His warmth is incomparable, like nothing Gerard can imagine. Holding Frank is like warming your hands at a fire.

Gerard’s not thought about romance a lot in his life, but the one thing that he has always, for his entire life wanted, was someone to _hold_. He’s wanted someone who was warm, someone who curves perfectly against him, someone who just fits right and can give Gerard this feeling in his stomach like home. That’s the only thing he’s ever envied other people for. He’s never desired someone else’s wealth, or their home, or their family. What he gets jealous of is when people have someone to hold every night. That’s the only thing in this world that Gerard has ever wanted that other people have, aside from a life without his curse.

With Frank, here and now, he feels like all the puzzle pieces are starting to come together. He finally has this one thing that’s going right. Frank is the only person in the world who he can imagine to be the person he holds. There’s no one else. No one else could compare to Frank. Frank is who he wants to fall asleep with, to wake up in the mornings next to. 

Frank manages to put what Gerard feels into words when he says, “Don’t ever let go. Not ever.”

Gerard smiles fondly, and squeezes him tighter, and says, “I won’t.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Todays comment prompt: recommend me an album that you think I haven't heard, and your favorite song on that album. 
> 
> My own album recommendation is Echoes by Young Guns, and the song is Mercury in Retrograde.


	30. Prolonged

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back with a bang.

Gerard is awoken earlier than he would like to be, by Frank, which he supposes makes it slightly more okay. Frank is telling him something, though Gerard is still between the realm of asleep and awake, so he doesn’t hear any of it at all.

He’s very much aware of Frank getting up though, because it takes away all of the warmth in Gerard’s entire body, or at least, that’s how it feels. Gerard hadn’t realized it until now, but he’d been pressed up against Frank, with Frank’s chest against his back, and it was quite possibly the most comfortable thing he’s yet to experience in his life until Frank decided to ruin it by standing up.

“Where are you going?” Gerard asks groggily. He’s still definitely not awake, and he’s having trouble comprehending that he’s alive, because it’s too early in the morning for this shit. Gerard hasn’t even decided that he exists as a human yet; it’s too damn early.

“I told you,” Frank says, “we’ve got to head out, we have a whole day of riding ahead of us.”

“Oh,” Gerard says, sounding sad. He had hoped that he’d be able to convince Frank to come back and that they could sleep a little while longer. But he supposes that it’s his own fault they’re leaving this early.

Today isn’t a big day, nor is tomorrow, but the day after, that’s the one Gerard’s got to look forward to. Even then, he’s just going to be accessing records. He’ll be able to find out where Brendon lives. Once he knows that, he’ll travel however far he needs to go. Anything to bring him top Brendon.  
And once he finds Brendon, he’s free. 

It’s so early in the morning that Gerard can’t even register why his curse is that big of a deal, because sleep is just way more important than some stupid old curse, it’s not that big of a deal. It’s like if the building were on fire, like yeah he knows he’ll die and that would suck, but sleep is just too much fun to bother not dying. Except if he could convince Frank to come back to bed, he would get to have Frank, and to have Frank is perfect.

“Gerard, get out of bed!” Frank groans after a few minutes pass and Gerard still hasn’t made the attempt to so much as move let alone get up. And that’s when Gerard feels all the reasons for why he hates the curse come flooding back to him.

No more orders. No more doing what you’re told. No more life that’s not your own. Gerard could hear people telling him to be quiet and he could scream in their fucking face. When someone tells him to do something, he can tell them to go to hell. 

And after that, well the possibilities are endless. He could go back home. He could run away with Ray and Patrick in his tow. He can scour the country for someone to help Mikey. He can tell his stepsisters to eat shit. Maybe he could stay with Frank a little while, learn the castle, learn the Prince. He could see the King, the real King, the King Frank will become. 

Frank’s order pulls Gerard out of bed, but not without a fair share of groaning and complaining as Frank throws a change of clothes at him. Someday he’ll have the chance to sleep in until he damn well wants. 

Gerard, still feels his eyes heavy with sleep, with his body aching from the loss of the sheets and mattress, finds himself quite suddenly pulled into alertness when Frank starts _undressing_ right before Gerard’s very eyes. He doesn’t mean to stare, he never in his life has meant to stare at Frank, but he can’t fucking help it.

Just like he’d done last night, Frank pulls his shirt off and then searches around in his bag for a shirt to change into, as he hadn’t already grabbed one so now Gerard is left with this solid minute of just gawking at a shirtless Frank.

The ink that scrawls Frank back is easier to view now. They are patterns, scripts, flowers; timeless and brilliant. The black ink is vivid, seeming to Gerard to be fresh, but Gerard’s never seen any tattoos up close before, so he doesn’t have anything to compare these to.

Gerard can’t help himself, he steps over to Frank and lets his fingers trace one of the lines near the top of Frank’s shoulder. Following the line is like following a fly, watching its trail, not losing sight of it. It’s somehow hypnotic. 

Frank doesn’t seem terribly surprised when Gerard’s hand first touches him. He tenses, turns his head to try to look at Gerard without forcing Gerard’s hand away. He doesn’t want the hand to go away, he just wants to look at Gerard, look at the softness of his face, the beauty in his every inch.

Gerard peels his eyes away from the color for a moment to see that the pupils in Frank’s eyes are blown out, huge and monopolizing the brown behind them. He looks almost predatory for a moment, and Gerard doesn’t know why. Frank doesn’t know why either. 

Frank’s not used to people touching him at all. He’s a Prince, people rarely ever make physical contact with him. Gerard’s the first person who he’s ever been in prolonged physical contact with. Like ever. Really, Frank’s only ever touched a few other people, shaken a few hands, been in a few combats, practiced fighting. Never anything prolonged at all. And he’s certainly never had anyone dare touch him with his back turned. That would be verging on criminal in most other situations. But then this is Gerard. Gerard does not neatly fit into any category of person that Frank has ever dealt with before for any reason at all.

For one thing, Frank has never kissed anyone else. He’s never slept in the same bed as anyone else, twice now, and it doesn’t get any more prolonged than that. He’s never had anyone touch his face, his neck, his shoulder, anywhere really that wasn’t his hand. But now here’s Gerard, openly tracing the ink of his back like it’s something normal. It drives Frank absolutely crazy.

Gerard’s the only person who would ever dare do it. Gerard’s also the only person who’s ever dared to speak up to him. He’s the only person to have ever talked to him like an equal, not like a Prince, or like anything but who he is. Gerard is the only person to have ever been blunt with him, to have ever been honest, to have ever showed any opinions at all to him. And he’s the only person who has ever made Frank feel like _this_.

Frank can’t stand it, as he feels Gerard’s fingers on his skin, he turns, forcing Gerard’s hand away, but the departure of contact is brief, as the second Frank turns, his lips are against Gerard’s and he’s grabbing hold of the sides of the boy’s head. He can scarcely stop himself. Normally he has more control over himself, but it’s an animal instinct. It must be due to the early hour of the day, and the lack of sleep that he’d gotten the night before. 

Gerard doesn’t seem to be particularly bothered though. He welcomes the advance, opens his mouth to Frank’s. This kiss is certainly very different to any others the two have shared, because the majority of those have thus far been rather innocent. Most of them chaste, all of them experimental. This is nothing like those. There is hunger, and deliberate intent. Gerard imagines this to be on a very different scale, something entirely separate from what he’s ever experienced before. It makes him feel some sort of way. It’s an interesting feeling, one that’s never experienced in any situation other than late at night in the comfort of his own bed, while everyone else was asleep. It also doesn’t help him that it’s the early morning when he can’t control a thing about his body. This is like yesterday in the tent all over again, except Gerard’s certain he didn’t _wake up_ with _this_ problem.

Thinking about that makes Gerard blink his eyes open a few times to figure out of he actually is where he thinks. Yesterday morning he was waking up in the middle of the woods in a tent he shared with Frank, the Prince of the very kingdom in which Gerard lives. Yesterday, he had practically pushed Frank off of him when waking up beside him, had been embarrassed, terrified, scared of the mere idea of waking up next to this man. Now, only a day later, he wants to crawl back into bed with him. And that’s not the only thing Gerard wants to do in bed with him. 

Gerard forgets this however, when the kiss grows, if possible, more heated. It’s taking on new heights, making way for new terrain. Gerard puts his hands to Frank’s waist, and he tries to pull him, guide him into the direction he wants to go, the direction towards the nearest bed. Frank follows. 

What comes next is not coordinated, but neither of them care. First Gerard topples over, and Frank is soon to follow, neither of them parting contact for more than a few seconds. Frank ends up on top of Gerard, his legs on either side of Gerard’s body, kissing him like he provides the air Frank’s body needs, when in fact, he’s not getting any air at all. He doesn’t even care though, because what he wants from Gerard is far more important than _breathing_. 

Now it can’t be said that Gerard is clueless. He knows some things which he’s not going to own up to knowing, but he does know _things_. Namely, Gerard knows this is a prelude to something and he knows what that prelude is to. And Gerard is very much interested in continuing on with this story to experience what comes next. He’s really excited for the pinnacle of the story, the climax some might call it.

This is the part where he should be saying “no, we mustn’t.” The part where he should be considering the opinions of those in this Kingdom, should be concerned for his own self. They would be aghast, it’s immoral, improper. It might even be treason. 

But he is very much inclined to let this situation continue and to experience all it has to offer. He should push Frank away, it’s the right thing to do, theoretically. Frank’s people, Gerard’s peers, what would they think? The Prince, with another man. The Prince, not even married. But he really doesn’t care about that. And Frank certainly doesn’t care either.

Frank gasps, breaking away from him for a moment, “tell me to stop, if you need to. Tell me, and I will.”

“Please,” Gerard pleads, “don’t. Don’t stop.”

Frank groans, and it breaks through a barrier in Gerard’s insides. He worries other people can hear it, but it’s not even that loud. It just _effects_ Gerard. 

Frank kisses him sloppily, tongue angry against Gerard’s. He holds the side of Gerard’s face, with his other hand he’s gripping Gerard’s hand in his own, Gerard holding both hands to his chest.

Frank makes a sound. It’s a sound that Gerard has never heard before, and though he doesn’t know a word for it, he would describe it as an interested one. A pleased one. But you wouldn’t make that sound eating cake or anything, it’s reserved for special occasions. 

Frank, who is already without shirt, decides that Gerard should be introduced to this idea, and begins to mess with the folds of Gerard’s tunic, with the intent of trying to pull it off. The only reason Gerard protests is because he would have to separate his lips from Frank’s if this happens. He prolongs it, not for the purpose of stopping it, but so that he can taste Frank. He certainly is tasting Frank, or at least, it looks like he’s trying to, because he’s got his tongue about as far into Frank’s mouth as he can manage to get it, exploring Frank in a way he hasn’t before. 

This isn’t right, this most certainly isn’t right, this shouldn’t be happening between two people who barely know each other, between two people who aren’t wed. With another boy, if it could get any worse. But Gerard doesn’t care. 

Just how much Gerard doesn’t care is not quantifiable. He is aware of what he should do, but he has never desired to do the right thing less. This may not be the proper thing, but he’s never wanted anything more. It may not _be_ right, but it feels right. 

Frank doesn’t know what prompts him to do so, but he’s got this lingering need to kiss Gerard’s neck. He breaks away, kisses down Gerard’s jaw, leaving Gerard open mouthed in what’s definitely not awe, but could be mistaken for it different circumstances.

What really catches Gerard off guard is not what _Frank_ does, but what he himself does. There’s a tension in his pants, a certain feeling he’s not unfamiliar with, but one he’s certainly never felt with another person in the room. He craves friction. Craves to be met with something, _anything_ to meet that need. For this reason, it’s a shock to both of them when Gerard pushes himself against Frank, meeting his thigh where he finds something of what he needs. Gerard makes the same noise that Frank had made earlier, one he still can’t describe, but it’s a pleasurable one all the same. 

The breathing in the room is heavy, the temperature is warm and almost palpable, like it is something to be felt, to be held, rather than to itself hold. 

Frank makes a sound which tries to contain, but he reciprocates. It’s unknown territory. He doesn’t know what he’s doing. Frank moves his head back up to meet Gerard’s mouth, and allows his body to intertwine with Gerard’s, meeting in all the right places. They’re a mess of sound, of tension, of friction, of heat, and of desperation. Both are too helpless or too frantic to think anything more than the here and now, and how good it feels.

For a few minutes, they remain this way. Neither of them have words, neither of them feeling the need to speak. They’re not exactly quiet though. Whimpers, whispered curses, more of the sound Gerard doesn’t know how to describe. They try to stay quiet though, knowing the others are in adjacent rooms. 

It’s rushed. It’s awkward. It’s clueless, and it’s brash. It’s a mess of adjectives that neither of them care about. It’s not particularly romantic, but neither of them see it that way. This is more about a craving for closeness than it is about anything else. Romantic it may not be, but there’s a transcendence of something to be found here. Never have they been so close, their hearts and souls rubbing against each other, just as they do.

Far too early for his liking, Gerard cries out, and his breathing stops altogether, like his airway has been shut. For a moment, he is gone, entirely absent from his body, entirely absent from this world. He is a shell, and he would like to remain that way, as a wave of ecstasy hits him, making him feel entirely different than anyway he’s ever felt before now. 

Their kiss breaks as Gerard’s head falls back against the bed, his eyes closed, his face soft and covered in a pure high that Frank can’t quite meet. He looks down at Gerard in this moment and he’s never wanted anything more, never wanted anyone more. This man who he loves so much that it hurts him to look at him sometimes, because he wants to be closer to him, wants more from him than a person can ever have. Frank wants almost to be the same as him, so that he can never leave Gerard’s side. He wants to stitch their two hearts together, so they can never be apart.

It's at this thought that Frank’s forehead falls against Gerard’s, his eyes closing, and the world stops entirely. They are the only two people within it. All the sound there is to be heard is the heavy breathing of the other. All that there is to be felt is this peak, a moment neither ever dreamed of having with the other even so much as a day ago. 

For a long time, their room is filled with nothing but breathing. Gerard’s falling back into sleep without being aware of it. Frank’s nestling himself against Gerard, having toppled off of him, with now only his leg draped across Gerard’s body. They are at peace. They are content and warm. They’re both a little messy now and surely something’s going to need to be done about that eventually, but right now, they want nothing more than to be where they now are. 

Gerard’s stunned with himself. Mostly he’s stunned that he doesn’t mind so much. He doesn’t know if what’s just happened technically qualifies as sex or not, because he’s still almost fully clothed and so is Frank. It’s not how he would have imaged it. Gerard definitely wouldn’t say he didn’t like it though. Not being what he imagined doesn’t make it bad.

This isn’t really how he saw his morning going. 

For a start, Gerard doesn’t know how this happened. All he had done was touched Frank’s back, and now he’s lying here, hazy feeling creeping over him, and it’s brand new. He doesn’t know why now, he doesn’t know how, he doesn’t know anything. But he does suppose this was inevitable. He knows that with a certainty. From the second he first laid eyes on Frank, though he didn’t know it at the time, this was always going to happen. This was his fate, which is something to be said since Gerard doesn’t believe in fate. 

“Frank,” Gerard says before stopping himself. He cuts off his own words before they pass his lips though. He was about to says he loves him. It would be true, but he doesn’t want to say it. Not yet anyway. He can’t say where anything he feels for Frank has come from, but these feelings come from deep inside of him, and now, more than anything, he’s sure this is what love is. If it’s not what he has for Frank then his body surely won’t be able to handle it when it does find out. If love is anything more than what he feels now, then his body will burn up entirely. 

Gerard mumbles the words incessantly into Frank’s neck. He can’t say them enough. The passion he has for Frank fills him so entirely that there is room for almost nothing else.

“You mean a lot to me,” Gerard’s voice cracks, and he can feel himself almost on the brink of crying, because the words mean nothing. They don’t translate what he means to say. They aren’t strong enough. 

“I love you,” Frank whispers, eyes closed, squeezing Gerard’s hand tightly between his own hands. He opens his eyes, only to get Gerard to stop talking, to stop sounding so desperate. He presses his lips to Gerard’s, and that’s all there is. Just the two of them again, the world theirs alone.

Gerard wants to say it back. He wants to say “I love you too.” But he doesn’t say it. He doesn’t know how. He doesn’t know if he’s ready to say it yet. Frank deserves to know, it would be the truth. But the moment isn’t right. When will the moment ever be right?

The two stay like that, drifting between consciousness. There’s a soft knock on the door before someone’s voice, Patrick’s, calls out from the other side. “Guys, the sunrise is coming. We should be heading out.”

The two of them remain quiet for a second, trying to rationalize being awake before Frank sighs softly, saying briefly, “We’ll be ready.”

Patrick seems content with this answer as there are footsteps that fade from earshot. The two of them eye each other before they resign to actually waking up, for real this time. Frank, who had already felt weary when originally waking up, now feels less so, his body feeling a calmness in the state of being right now. He can honestly say he’s never felt so content in his entire existence, never felt more _okay_. 

“We gotta get up,” Gerard mumbles to Frank when neither of them makes any attempt at actually moving. 

“I don’t want to leave,” Frank says, pressing his forehead against Gerard’s.

“Yeah.” The two of them remain there for a few more seconds before they eventually decide that they’d better stop being lazy. First Gerard than Frank stand, and neither of them look entirely comfortable in doing so.

It takes quite a bit longer than is normal for them both to get ready to go, as they’ve got to clean up before either can even get dressed. Gerard’s too embarrassed to even look at Frank, so he averts his eyes when Frank so much as takes his pants off, probably not the thing someone else in his situation would do, but Gerard is still trying to retain some of his innocence. Where the idea of innocence could possibly be found after what’s just happened, he doesn’t know, but he’s content to live in his delusions for a little while. 

After several minutes, the two of them make their way, baggage in tow, down the stairs of the inn to meet the rest of their party. Ryan and Travie are already saddling the horses and preparing to take off when the two of them make an appearance. Patrick gives Gerard an eye, that doesn’t quite see through him, but definitely detects something off. This is one secret that Gerard is not going to be sharing with him though. 

Gerard’s excited for the day, despite knowing it’ll be a boring one. He’s getting closer and closer to Brendon by the minute. The closer he gets to the fairy, the closer he gets to his freedom. He hasn’t been having a lot of trouble being ordered around these last few days since he and Patrick ran away, but it’s definitely still a problem. Mostly, he thinks, there’s a relief in being away from Hattie and Olive. Those two couldn’t make it through a day without ordering Gerard around at least a dozen times each. 

Gerard misses Ray a lot though. Gerard’s rarely ever been away from Ray for so long, and even then, the last time was several years ago. Ray is, for all intense and purposes, the only parent Gerard has. With his mother dead and his father not giving a shit about him, it’s always been him and Ray. Gerard makes a note to send Ray a letter when they reach the castle. He wishes he could afford a magic mirror, that way he can see and talk to Ray wherever he goes, but Gerard would probably have to sell the entire town of Frell to make the money for a single magic mirror, and what’s one mirror without someone on the other end to talk to? 

The entire group helps prepare the horses, Pete and Patrick struggling because they’re both shorter than the horse. They grab a quick breakfast from a bakery down the street before the party prepares to set off. 

This time when Gerard is pulled onto the horse with Frank’s body pressed against him, he doesn’t have as many complaints. He knows that he’s falling fast, and hard, and his feelings are premature, but he can’t help it. There’s something magical about the way Gerard feels for Frank. The love is natural, and by no means is Gerard in doubt of that, but the way Frank makes him feel is where the magic comes in. You could never convince a person to fall in love purely through magic, but Frank’s personality is a magic of its own. 

Their party sets off, chasing the sunrise, which is a brilliant mix of pink, orange and yellow. Gerard’s sure that the silhouette of the six horses climbing up the hill to depart Giantville must be a sight to behold. They are very small in the landscape, inconsequential in comparison to the Giant buildings, to the oversized streets, but they are still beautiful against the brilliant sky.

Their party proceeds in near silence. The sounds that fill the air are the sounds of horse’s feet on the ground, of the occasional giggling and murmuring between Patrick and Pete. It’s hard to hold a conversation on horseback when you’re riding so swiftly. Your words are behind you before you finish them, leaving the grass and trees with an echo of conversations that will never be understood. 

Frank and Gerard are mostly silent. Frank’s arms are around Gerard, and he’s warm, very warm against Gerard’s back. Occasionally, Frank’s eyes will close and he’ll press a kiss to the back of Gerard’s neck, which send chills through his body. Frank disarms him, takes his barriers down.

Conversation is hard, but it’s not impossible. After a few hours of silence, Gerard looking at the vistas as they pass, Frank speaks up. “Should we talk about this morning?”

“I’m content not to,” Gerard replies.

“Is that to say no?”

“Is there anything we _need_ talk about?” 

“Well, I suppose, more what _you_ need to talk about. I’m not… well I’m not going to say I don’t often consider the abnormality of who I like, but I don’t have as much of a problem with it as you do.”

“I’m not okay with it,” Gerard replies, and he thinks it’s the truth. He doesn’t really know what to think, in all seriousness. Gerard may never quite be okay with the fact that he likes Frank, but he’s not exactly against what liking Frank entails. Namely, having Frank at all is worth whatever his own gut may dislike about it. “I mean to say… I’m not comfortable with my own attraction to you on the surface. But, I am not opposed to… well, I am not opposed to the way you make me feel.”

“So you don’t, like, regret what happened?” 

“On the contrary,” Gerard replies, suggestively, and Frank gulps. “I don’t regret it. For the time being, I will live with my own discomfort in the circumstances for the sake of the fact that my desire outweighs all else.”

“I don’t follow.”

“What I mean is that I like you a lot, Frank. I’m not proud of the fact that I do, but I can’t deny it any more than I can resist you.”

“Gerard, we’ve had this conversation before.” Frank makes a dejected sighing sound.

“I know. The thing is, I am growing. Not long ago, the very thought of me kissing you was absurd. But here I am, wishing only to kiss you more. And then this morning… I swear, only yesterday I would have said it was impossible. I can’t say how long it’ll take, I have to unlearn all it is I thought I knew, but I am realizing that I might have other roles in this world than I first thought.”

“Namely?”

“I thought I would die in Frell. Older than I am now surely, and likely unwed if my stunning lack of attraction to all girls in my town was an indication. I thought my father’s life would be my own. Maybe, maybe, if I broke through, I’d own a shop, maybe help Patrick with his. I don’t know. Provincial. That is how I would have described my future. And now… now, I don’t necessarily expect the stars. But I don’t know if I’d be content with that life anymore, not after knowing you. You’re perhaps the most important person I’ll ever know. In as little as a few weeks, I’ve seen you change. When we met, you were rather corrupt in your beliefs, or ignorant might be a better word. But I’ve seen those ideals change, and it stuns me to think I played a part in it.”

“It was a long time coming. I should have known my Kingdom better than I did. You’ve helped open my eyes. I know now what I need to do as a King. I don’t know how yet, and I don’t know how successful my reign will be, but I know what I’d like to achieve. You’ve helped me a lot to see that.”

“We digress,” Gerard says. “I’ve seen in you my ability to make an impact. I don’t think I could stand the routineness of my home any longer. I don’t want to settle with my life. I want to make something of it.”

“How does this relate to your inability to accept this? Us?”

“It has everything to do with that. I may have helped to change you, Frank. I have shown you something you never saw, never considered before. But you’ve done the same for me. You have changed me in enormous ways.” 

“Have I?”

“How could you doubt that?” Gerard asks. 

Frank makes a sound, “It’s not doubt, I think I’ve just been hesitant to believe that what I want more than anything might be within reach.”

“What you want more than anything,” Gerard repeats to himself.

“You.”

Gerard is stunned by that. He knows Frank likes him, has heard Frank say he loves him, but somehow, it never occurred to Gerard that Frank might be seeking more from him than Gerard originally planned on. Gerard hadn’t planned on any of this, but the idea that Frank wants him, it baffles him. 

“You love me.”

“You know this,” Frank says. “What I want to know is whether I’m idiotic to. You said you ‘might’ be okay with this ‘someday.’ I’m just worried about those uncertainties.”

“Considering what happened this morning,” Gerard says, thinking to himself how uncharacteristic of him that was, “it’s not a far-off possibility.” Fucking hell, how could Gerard not want him? He’s the sweetest man Gerard’s ever met, and the only person he’s ever been actually attracted to. He’s given Gerard a reason to change his entire perspective on the world, something that’s definitely not easy. Gerard’s madly in love with him. How could Gerard not be capable of growing with everything in the world giving him reasons to want to change. 

There’s almost no doubt to it anymore. If “someday” is when Gerard is able to accept who he knows he must have always been, then someday is becoming less and less like a possibility and more like an absolute. With a reason as convincing as Frank–sweet, kind, generous, beautiful, funny _Frank_ –what choice does Gerard have?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not only is this story back, but you can expect another chapter by Sunday evening!


	31. Suspicion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I don’t know if I love him. I just know that he’s the first smile I have in the morning and the last smile I have at night.”

“You know, I feel like I’ve eaten bread for every meal for the past month and a half,” Travie says.

“That’s probably because you’ve eaten bread for every meal for the past month and a half,” Hayley responds.

“Ah yes, that would explain things,” Travie replies, biting into a piece of bread. It’s the easiest thing for them to find in small towns and to transport halfway across the Kingdom. It’s hard to bring fruits or vegetables which spoil rather quickly and weigh quite a bit. A good starchy bread is cheap, light and fills you up, so it’s the best of all options. 

“My friend Ray is the best cook you’ll ever meet,” Gerard says, more to himself than to Frank who’s standing right beside him. Ray is also the only person who’s ever really cooked for Gerard, aside from the occasional meal at Patrick’s house. His mother is not a fantastic cook, his family works at a candle shop below their house, his mom makes good candles, but candles don’t taste nice.

“I’ve got to meet this Ray sometime. It seems like you have a lot to owe him concerning who you are.”

“He’s basically my parent. I love him more than I have words to say. He’s the best damn person on the planet. Other than my brother.”

“I’ve got to meet him too. I just want to meet your whole family. I’d like to meet your dad even though you’re not too fond of the guy. I just want to get to know what makes you who you are, know more about you. Even the evil stepsisters.”

“Can’t forget about the evil stepmother,” Gerard says, “What story would be complete without one?”

“I doubt she’d approve,” Frank says, probably referring to his and Gerard’s relationship, which makes Gerard blush because Frank always makes him blush. It’s not a friendly feeling, your face going all red and the warmth seeming to radiate off of it, but it’s a familiar one that Gerard has grown far too used to.

“She’s thoroughly convinced that Hattie is going to marry you. Believe me when I say this, if you ever were set to marry Hattie, you should find yourself a good cliff to jump off of in preparation for the wedding.”

“I don’t doubt that. She’s not really my type anyhow,” Frank says, and that’s a fact if there ever was one. Gerard is the furthest a person could ever possibly get to Hattie. They are so dissimilar that they barely seem like the same species. Frank cannot possibly be attracted to the both of them, they are mutually exclusive. Plus Frank being into guys plays a part.

Gerard wonders what Frank’s “type” actually is. Is it brown haired peasant boys? Or maybe it’s just sarcastic assholes with big mouths? Or maybe he likes it when people insult him. Maybe he doesn’t care as long as they’re not female. The existence of Travie makes Gerard doubt that, because surely if you’re okay with dating anyone who’s not female, your first jump would be the most attractive guy on the planet. 

Gerard doesn’t have a type. He never has. He’s never been particularly attracted to anyone he’s ever met. There are people who he has found to be physically appealing, Frank, Travie, Hayley. But no one has a personality that he’d ever want to be around for more than a few hours at once, not even Patrick. Gerard needs some space to himself whenever he’s near someone for too long. Except for Frank, who is the person Gerard wants to crawl back to every time he leaves. He can’t get enough of this boy, he’s hooked on him, addicted.

Part of the reason Gerard’s never liked anyone else is because he’s never felt comfortable around other people. He’s usually on edge around people, even Patrick and Ray, because he knows that at any minute, he might get an order. He might be told to do something. He also just doesn’t feel like he can be entirely himself with them, it’s like he’s been hiding this whole thing a secret his entire life without knowing it. Frank has done a lot to change him, even made Gerard realize things he somehow always was but never knew. 

Everything is different with Frank. It’s not like Frank hasn’t given him orders, but Gerard doesn’t feel wary around him. He’s not nervous. He doesn’t feel like he needs to hide himself or pretend to be anyone who he’s not. Gerard can let his guard down with Frank, and that’s why he doesn’t get bored with him, why he doesn’t want to be away from him. Frank makes Gerard feel as comfortable as he is when he’s alone. 

Gerard gets lost in his own reverie, so he doesn’t notice when Pete walks up behind him and taps his shoulder. Gerard turns and has to look down a little ways to make eye contact with Pete, but his head doesn’t tilt as far is it does when he sees Patrick. Despite the fact that Pete and Frank are about the same height, Pete seems quite a bit smaller. It’s perhaps because Pete is an elf, but also maybe because Frank is a Prince and somehow his status makes him appear taller than he is. 

“Gerard, I need to talk to you for a moment,” Pete says, somewhat surprising Gerard who hadn’t expected himself to be the one Pete needed to talk to. He would have expected Pete to spend his time talking with Patrick instead, even if the two of them have been chattering away the whole trip so far.

Gerard turns to Frank, giving him a silent question like he’s asking if Frank is okay with it, but he doesn’t exactly need his permission. He just wants to know if Frank will be alright with Gerard leaving him alone. Frank has a blank expression which Gerard decides is a go ahead of sorts. He hates leaving Frank though, wishing the second he looks away to return to him. 

“Alright,” Gerard shrugs, though not without hesitation.

Pete pulls him away to a more secluded area, just beyond the tree line, so that they’re not quite out of sight of the rest of the party, but they’re hidden, and most certainly out of ear shot. Frank won’t let them go too far off on their own, surely. Frank is quite protective over them, he’s the prince with a whole team of knights protecting him, and yet he is just as protective of his knights and anyone else who crosses his path. It’s things like these that hint at just how great a King he’s going to be.

“So you know, Patrick?” Pete begins, which is not much of an opening sentence if you ask Gerard.

“I’m aware of him, yeah,” Gerard says, in a tone of voice that illustrates his annoyance of the question.

“So, like, I mean, okay, so, where to begin? You’ve known him for a while, I suppose.”

“Almost all of my life, yes.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. Well anyway, do you know, like, do you know what his interests are then?”

“As in, do I know if he likes boys?”

Pete turns pink, the blush spreading from his cheeks to his neck. “I didn’t say that.”

“You meant it, though.”

“Well, I mean, do you _know_?” 

“I do,” Gerard responds, matter-of-factly. Patrick is his best friend, and the two of them read each other like books. It’s hard for one to keep a secret from the other. Patrick even knew about Gerard liking Frank before Gerard did. That’s real friendship.

“And?”

“He doesn’t,” Gerard replies bluntly, which isn’t necessarily lie.

Pete’s face falls, and it’s not an exaggeration. His whole expression turns from hopeful to mourning. You can see the daylight fade from his eyes, and the darkness fall into the bags below them. At once he is an empty man.

“Well,” Gerard continues, “he doesn’t like boys, generally speaking. But he does like _one_.”

Pete’s face, going through a rainbow of emotions, lightens up dramatically at Gerard’s words. Gerard can’t help it if he’s a bit of a drama queen. Besides, he just likes to mess with Pete.

“Does he?” Pete asks, hopefully.

“Yeah.”

“In like, in a, I don’t know, in more than just a friendship type of way?”

Gerard questions himself, wondering if he’s said too much. This isn’t his own relationship he’s meddling in, it’s Patrick’s. “I really shouldn’t be talking about him behind his back,” Gerard says, voice showing his growing agitation. He doesn’t know Pete that well and he knows Patrick better than anyone else. Even if Pete is trustworthy, Gerard shouldn’t be spilling all of his friend’s secrets so quickly, especially considering they’ve only known each other for a little while now. It’s true that trekking the Kingdom with little else to do but talk does imply getting to know a guy pretty well, but Gerard can’t be positive that Pete is a good person from what little he’s learned of him.

Pete makes a whining sound, “come on, you have to tell me!” It’s an order. Gerard feels the weight of it, stabbing him. If he had any doubts why he was here, doing all this, he doesn’t any longer. Even the smallest orders, they aren’t small enough.

“He likes you,” Gerard says, hating himself for saying it. “Romantically. Or I suppose, he thinks that’s how he feels.”

Pete bites his lip, looking excited. “Tell me exactly what he said!”

Another order. “He told me you two kissed. He said he wants to kiss you again.”

“Shit, really?”

“Would I lie?” Gerard asks. 

“I hope not,” Pete says, and he gets this really excited gleam in his eyes. He’s definitely encouraged by the news. Gerard’s not exactly unhappy that Pete knows the truth, he just wishes the two of them had worked it out together. To be fair, Gerard’s own relationship would’ve gone too far without Patrick meddling in it, but Gerard’s not entirely comfortable being in the middle of things. He doesn’t want to be blamed if things turn sour. 

Pete is standing still, but somehow, it seems as if he’s hopping, jumping for joy. He’s barely moving at all, but there’s a smile spread widely across his face. 

Gerard doesn’t know what else to say. He stands there, wondering if there’s anything else he’s meant to say or if he should go back to the group to go find Frank. He wants to talk to Frank. He always wants to talk to Frank. He wants to see Frank’s big smile, the smile he always has whenever Gerard starts speaking to him. It fades gradually, but the smile remains there, the ghost of it on his face whenever Gerard’s around. The truth is that it’s hard on Frank’s cheeks to smile as much as he wants to when Gerard is around. He tries to make it less obvious, because he doesn’t want to creep Gerard out. But he can’t help but be happy whenever he sees that boy. Anyone would smile when they love a guy as much as Frank loves Gerard.

“Oh, I meant to ask,” Pete says, getting a look on his face like he’s just remembering something. “What’s going on between you and the Prince?” 

“What? Nothing!”

“Well, the first time we met, Patrick mentioned you had a thing for the Prince.”

“Patrick doesn’t know everything about me.”

“And then there’s the fact that you kissed him last night,” Pete says. He’s got him there. Gerard doesn’t know how to get out of that one. He knew this was inevitable. He kissed the Prince in front of a whole bar of people. So far everyone Gerard knows, and at least everyone in Giantville knows that Gerard kissed Frank. At most, the entire Kingdom is going to know by the evening. That part is inevitable, it’s just a matter of how long news takes to spread throughout a Kingdom of this size. Gerard supposes that he’ll get home in a week or so, and everyone in Frell will be talking about it. 

Will they know it was him? Wil Gerard get more eyes on him, shaking heads, whispered gossip to make his name live in infamy? Will Hattie and Olive even keep him alive or while they throw him out the window of his old bedroom that’s now theirs? It makes Gerard’s skin crawl, just thinking about going back there. Frell doesn’t seem like home anymore, not without Frank. 

Gerard blushes. He can’t incriminate himself any further if he says nothing at all, so he chooses this route, saying absolutely nothing. Yes, Pete saw them kiss. Yes, Pete knows that Gerard has a thing for the Prince. But no, he doesn’t need to know any more than that.

“Gerard?”

“It’s really not any of your concern,” Gerard says.

“I mean, it is if you’re the future King, isn’t it? Co-King? How’s that gonna work?”

Gerard’s the one to turn pink this time. He doesn’t say anything, and he tries to prevent himself from thinking anything either.

The thought never occurred to him that what he feels for Frank might be more than just a few days. That he might actually have a relationship with this man. What would that even be like?

Gerard’s somehow suppressed the entire idea of it, but now it seems an obvious path of thought. Of course Gerard was going to spend time with Frank. What else would he do? Go back home? If Gerard ends up without his curse in a few days, why would he return home when there’s nothing there for him? Ray’s the only thing that was keeping him there. If Frank wants him, why can’t Gerard move on with his life? Maybe he could even convince Ray to leave. Gerard’s the only thing keeping Ray in Frell too, keeping him in the employment of Gerard’s family. 

And if Gerard does stay with Frank, what comes next? Would Gerard get to just be with him? With him all the time? Will he get to wake up next to Frank, kiss him, hold him? Maybe he’d get to experience the life that Frank has, and maybe with the two of them together, Frank would be able to enjoy it. Maybe Gerard could even give him guidance, help him to prepare to control the Kingdom. 

Would Gerard live in the castle? Maybe share Frank’s room, he’s sure that it’d be big enough for what little Gerard has, and if it’s not, the only space Gerard really needs is the space next to Frank in the bed. Maybe he could get job in the castle. Work in the kitchens, help do laundry. 

But if he’s with the Prince, would things be different? What about what Pete said? What if Frank were to actually marry him? Would that not make Gerard King too? 

That’s the thought that Gerard won’t allow. He doesn’t want to even consider the idea. He knows it’ll never happen. He knows it’s unrealistic and idealistic. Frank would never want him in that way, and even if he did, it probably wouldn’t ever happen. How would the kingdom react? It would be a scandal, not a celebration. 

“Frank and I are friends,” Gerard says. “Nothing more.”

“Do you kiss all your friends?”

“I… it was taken out of context. It didn’t mean anything.”

“Come on, Gerard,” Pete rolls his eyes. “You like him. You like him the way I like Patrick. Only you two are moving a lot faster than Patrick and I.”

“Pete, would you please just let it go?”

“Gerard, I’m not an idiot. Well, I mean, I am a bit, but I’m not clueless. I’m not _blind_.”

“It’s not your business, keep out of it.”

“But you like him! You’re in love with the Prince! And what’s more, I’m pretty sure the Prince is in love with you.”

“Would you just stop,” Gerard says, raising his voice slightly in order to get the message across to Pete that he doesn’t want to talk about it. Gerard’s not entirely comfortable with how he feels about the relationship. He’s not comfortable thinking his own thoughts in private. He’s certainly not in the position to discuss it with someone else, especially not Pete. 

“You like him!” Pete says emphatically.

“Stop!”

“Just tell the truth! Admit it!”

Gerard doesn’t at first realize it’s an order, the words stumble out of his mouth anyway, angrily and without care. “Fine. I’m in love with him.” The words startle Gerard, but they’re far more surprising to Pete.

Pete’s noticed that Gerard has a tendency to be a bit of a pushover. He has an uncanny habit of doing what he’s told. Pete doesn’t know why that is, but it’s growing ever clearer the more he talks to him. 

“You love him?” Pete asks. “You’ve only known him a little while?”

“I know,” Gerard says. He can’t deny it now. He wishes he hadn’t exploded, wishes he hadn’t spilled the truth. It’s like it’s his fault though. He wishes he didn’t have this stupid fucking curse so that he could have secrets. Gerard never has secrets. Well, he has one. The curse is the only secret Gerard is able to keep. 

“You love him,” Pete repeats, more to himself than to Gerard. Pete doesn’t know what to do with the information. In Pete’s case, he likes a guy who in the eyes of the Kingdom, is nobody. He’s just a guy from a small town. But Gerard’s situation is dramatically different. Gerard is in love with the Prince. The most important person that there is, probably ever, and Gerard’s in love with him. And it’s plain to see that Frank’s in love with him as well.

“I don’t know if I love him. I just know that he’s the first smile I have in the morning and the last smile I have at night.” Gerard looks up at the sky. He looks at the clouds, forming shapes, blissfully ignorant of their ease of existence. Gerard would give anything to be a cloud, or to be anything else, something without thoughts or feelings. To be a cloud, a tree, a flower, never having to think about things, just being. Life would be so much simpler. No one would order him around, he wouldn’t be pushed over. He would simply _be_. Gerard would love that. To not have the torment of thoughts, of emotions, of his curse. 

“That’s love, buddy,” Pete says.

“I figured,” Gerard sighs. “There really wasn’t a way it could ever be anything else.”

“What do you plan to do about it?”

“I don’t have a plan,” Gerard says, and it’s honesty if there ever was any. “I want to be with him. I’m realizing that more and more. I don’t know how I could ever leave him. Fuck, it’s been a day, and he’s got me feeling like this.” It’s actually been a few weeks since they met, but they’ve only really known each other for a few days in total.

“Just imagine how much worse it’ll be by tomorrow,” Pete says. Gerard nods. If this is a day, there’s no way he’ll be able to stand two. Or three. When the days start to double, how far will Gerard be able to take it? How long until Gerard’s form withers away due to the passion he feels within himself for Frank?

Gerard spots Frank’s form through the trees. Short, and awkward, not the typical profile of a future king. He’s tiny compared to most of his Knights. If you didn’t know who he was, you could easily look over him, count him out. He doesn’t look like a leader. He doesn’t look like a fighter. He doesn’t look like a King.

The question isn’t how long Gerard will be able to last with Frank. It’s how long Gerard would last _without_ him.

“Are you going to tell him?” Pete asks.

Gerard considers it for a moment. He’s had a million times to say he loves Frank but none of them has ever felt right. He doesn’t know what the right moment feels like, but he’s sure it’ll be obvious once it comes along. He doesn’t want to mislead Frank though, and that’s the main reason for why he continues to push it off. Gerard doesn’t know for a fact that he’s going to be with Frank when all of this is over. He thinks he wants to, but he’s only known Frank for a little while, and he’s afraid he’ll base all of his decisions off of a rash one. Gerard just wants to be fair to Frank. He wants Frank to have a sense of security when Gerard tells him. Because if Gerard tells Frank he loves him, that’s a commitment. It’s not something he says to him willy nilly, even if it’s true. He has to be ready for what love means, and he’s not sure he’s ready for that. 

Gerard looks at Frank again through the trees. He’s so goddamn perfect. Gerard loves him so fucking much. He wonders how Frank could be unaware of that. It must flood off of him. Patrick and Mikey surely see it, and Ray probably would too if he were here. 

No, Gerard won’t tell him yet. Sooner or later Frank will likely realize it for himself. It’s not like Gerard won’t tell him, he just needs to wait. At least until after the curse is gone. If he’s still got the curse than he can’t ever truly be with Frank. Once the curse is gone, then he’ll tell. Once the curse is gone, then he can let himself dive completely into Frank. Once the curse is gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost called this chapter "What Is Love (baby don't hurt me)" and I guess my fatal flaw is that I don't have the courage to do so.


End file.
